Promise. Nothing

His head was feeling like someone stuffed his head with cotton. Numb. Numb of pain, numb from lack of sleep. Working as a doctor took most of Matt Sanders hours. But he wouldn't have it any other way. It made him feel meaningful, being able to help. Especially children. Oh Matt loved children. Their smiles, their cute giggles, their playfulness. The joy they bring into their parents hearts. If he could've only been straight! If he was you could bet on that he would've started a family decades ago. But no. He couldn't have children with a woman. Nope, not a chance. He died to adopt a baby one day, but Matt was realistic. Working as a doctor and being a single dad? That wasn't a good mach. He worked nights, days and 12 hours shifts for christ sake!

"Matt? Matt are you in there? Hello? Dr. Sanders! Are you sure you're alive man?" Two frowning emerald eyes came to focus in front of Matt's tired hazel eyes.

"Huh? Yeah, Yeah, sorry Zee. Jesus I'll be dead when this shif is over!" Matt yawned, stretching his tired limbs a little where he sat in front of his computer, filling in another journal.
"Was there anything important?

"We just got in a new patient. You're their doctor, you need to go and meet them." Zacky smiled. He was also quite tired. At least he had Brian to come home to, Matt thought.

"Oh. What's the patients name?" Matt asked, trying to get his head back in place.

"His name is Rhythm Sullivan, his 4 and we're not sure of what's wrong with him apart from that he've been having quite intense nerve system related pains for about a month. He's been in and out now, for so long." Zacky signs. He knows that these kinds of pain is some of the worst pain you can have.

Matt swallows. "I'll go now, thanks Zee. Oh and say hi to Brian from me, you've done great today!" He waves his best friend off as Zacky gladly walks out the door, finally going home for some well deserved rest.

"Room 207." Matt double check his papers before he knocks on the door, a tired voice asks him to step in.

It's a sad sight that's meeting the good doctor. The whole picture is heartbreaking to be honest. A tall, lanky man's holding his son's tiny white hand in his. Crystal blue eyes who once were happy and cheerful are filled with hurt, worry and pain. But still those eyes are so beautiful to Matt that he can barely breath for a second. The whole character of this man, his soul, lays sprawled out in those eyes. Matt's completely lost in them already.

The little boy's raven black hair is making him look paler than he should. He got a Mohawk cut, which is cool, probably trying to make the best out of it.

"Hi Rhythm. I'm doctor Sanders, but you can call me Matt. I'll be your doctor as long as you're staying here." Matt begins, carefully approaching the little family, (trying) looking at Rhythm all the time. The patient's always first. "You must be Mr. Sullivan." Matt gives a crooked smile as he shake hands with Rhythm's dad.

"Yes. My name's Jimmy though, please just call me Jimmy.." He sighs, the air's blown out of him like a balloon. "I'll take good care of your son, Jimmy. He'll get better, I promise to to my best." Matt said a little lower, giving the man a reassuring pat on the back.

"Y-you promise?" Jimmy can't help it. He looks helplessly at Matt, like he's some kind of superman with healing powers. "You promise me that he'll be okay? That he will l-live?" Tears are evident in the man's voice. "Cause, you see doctor, if he dies... I'll die.."
The boy fell asleep during the first words Matt uttered, so he thankfully didn't hear his father's breakdown.

"I'm so scared, Doc."
"I know. I can see the love you hold for him. You got my promise. I'lll do everything in my power.. Jimmy."
Twitching, Jimmy hides his head on top of the bed-covers, and breaks down completely.
Matt sighs. He's never been a good psychologist. But he has to give it a try. Can't leave now.

He sits down with Jimmy for a few more hours. Letting the man spill his tears, coming with comforting words from time to time. Finally, Jimmy's straightening himself up, and gives Matt a shy hug.

"Thank you, Matt." He whispers. And from that moment, Matt knows, that this is gonna be a very interesting journey.

~~

Better days. They come too, thankfully. Today, Rhythm smiled when Matt appeared in his room. For the first time in a week, Jimmy told him. That made Matt feel more powerful than the could ever imagined. He's been telling Zacky about the little boys progress. Matt had used several hours of comparing test results to each other to find the right medication to write out for the boy. His effort was very much paid for. The boy didn't have such intense pain raids as he had before he got it, which calmed Jimmy down too.

A better day was for example when he brought the little boy a stuffed animal. "Hey, Rhythm, since you've been here for so long.. I got you this. I know you love dophins." Matt smiled. The boy watched the toy carefully for a second, before he grabbed it and hugged it tight to his chest. "I like him. I'll call him Flipper." He said tiredly, still quite worn out and drugged down from all the medication and testing.
The action had brought tears to Jimmy's eyes.

Matt was very worried for Jimmy. If the boy didn't make it.. he didn't want to think about what the beautiful man would do to himself. Would he die from sorrow? Matt had read that it could be possible. So he'd spent as much time with them both that he could offer.

One day when Jimmy looked especially pale, Matt had to ask "Are you sure you don't need consulting, Jimmy? This is a lot to handle as a single parent." Matt murmured, watching the pale man try to muster up a smile. "No, I-I think I'm gonna be.. okay." I got you. He wanted to say, but the words went stuck in his throat somehow.
"Okay, but don't shut down. Hey, you know you can talk to me right? Anytime."
"Would this be a good time?" Jimmy whispered, barely looking up at Matt.
Matt, who wasn't that surprised by this gladly sat down to listen. "I might not be a shrink, or a good consular, but at least I'll be able to listen. Why don't you start from the top?" Matt suggested, smiling positively at Jimmy.

Jimmy bit his lip for a second, then closed his eyes...
[ i ] italics
*flashback*

"Dad! My leg leg hurts.. so much.."

Rhythm was laying on the kitchen floor when Jimmy came in the door. The pain was evident in his eyes, as he acted like he couldn't move very far. "Oh my god! Rhythm, c-could you try to explain how bad it is? From one to ten?!" Jimmy rambled, fear and worry going in shock waves up and down his spine. 'I can't do anything and my boy is in pain!'

"Dad. Call the ambulance." He whispered. Silent tears running down his cheek, his body overheated by fever, and the pains seemed to only increase.

"Dad.. please make it stop.."

*End of flashback.*
[ / i ]

Tears were now running down Jimmy's cheeks. The cold, white hospital room seemed even more gray and painfully filled with sorrow now than before.
"But you're here now. He's not in that much pain anymore, Jimmy. You did the right thing. You helped him." Matt cleared his throat.. His own tears barely being hold back.

"Jimmy? Were you married?" He suddenly found himself asking. "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to ask that.."
"No, it's fine Matt. Yes, I was married. B-but she died when she gave birth." He sighed, this sorrow being an old one, but still a few tears formed, clear as glass..
"Oh my god. I shouldn't have asked." Matt held his breath as he quickly got to his feet. "I'm so sorry Jimmy.. Hell, I'm making this only worse, don't I?" He laughed a humorless laughter, feeling totally embarrassed by asking such touchy questions to a man that wasn't mentally stable at the moment.
"It shows that you care. Thank you." Jimmy smiled. That's all it took for Matt to excuse himself, then run down to his office and finally let his own tears fall.

Other days are coming..

"Hi, Matt." Jimmy's eyes practically glowed when Matt entered the room. "Hi Jimmy. How're you feeling today, Rhythm?"

The boy opened his eyelids, and revealed the same crystal blue eyes that his father had. "I'm feeling better." He said slowly.
"It's not hurting so bad today."
"That's great. I'm bringing you both news. We may have found a way to cure Rhythm. It's a very promising method that's the best opportunity we got right now..." Matt hesitated.
"It's a surgery isn't it?" Jimmy whispered so only Matt could hear. "Yes." He sighed. "It's a brain surgery."
Jimmy gasped. This though, didn't get past Rhythm.
"I'll explain." Matt took a deep breath. Then he explained with careful words what was going to happen.

Later, in the evening when Rythm was asleep, Matt caught Jimmy walking back and forth, restlessly in the highway right outside the boy's room.

"Jimmy..." Matt started, approaching him carefully. "Matt." The name was a inhale, a breath.
"C'mere." Matt reached out. Knowing that what Jimmy needed was one of his hugs. He had butterflies in his stomach every time he saw the tall, lanky man with the blue eyes. They'd grown tight the last couple of weeks, and he was dying to know if Jimmy felt the same way, but he couldn't in a million years do anything with it as long as Rhythm was so sick.

"Thank you, Matt. You've meant so much to us. Y-you've been a rock. Especially for me." Jimmy spoke suddenly. He gripped the doctors coat a little tighter.
"May this be a little thank you, just.." Sigh.
Before they knew it, Jimmy had pinned Matt up against the wall and given him a blissful kiss, it was filled with so many emotions that Matt was sure he wouldn't be able to explain them all afterwards.

"You're welcome, and I'm sorry." The blue eyed man stole one more kiss before he let go of Matt completely, feeling even more guilty for his own feelings than ever.

~~

The hours couldn't go fast enough. They ate their way into Matt's skull like they were zombies. Jimmy was exactly the same. Matt had held his hand since they brought Rhythm in for brain surgery.
Zacky had been checking on them from time to time, making sure they at least ate something. Matt had told Zacky about all his feelings for Jimmy, and no doctor could deny the bound that had formed between them over the past weeks. No one dared to separate them, fearing that Jimmy would go maniac.

Not that Matt would be any different.

Finally, the surgeon came out, walking towards the men with fast steps.

"Is he gonna make it?" Jimmy shouted immediately, shaking like a leaf.
"He'll be fine, Mr. Sullivan. With time. He's stable. The surgery went the way we hoped." The surgeon smiled.

Matt was sure Jimmy should faint, but instead the blue eyed man took a turn and threw himself at Matt, his arms around Matt's neck, kissing him hard. Tears of releif ran down his face, making the kiss wet. Suddenly Matt found his own tears join the crying, emotions flying around in his heart and soul.

Jimmy parted them with a shaky sigh, then grabbed Matt's face between his hands, feeling slightly exhausted from being in this emotional roller coaster for so long.

"Please don't feel guilty anymore, Jimmy, cause I don't think I can handle that." Matt whispered, is voice almost sounding lighter.
"I don't. Not anymore. We'll make it, finally!" Jimmy smiled, tears still falling. "Now that he's gonna be fine, will you join our family?"
"Yes!" Matt cheered, sealing it with another heartbreaking kiss, holding Jimmy tight to his chest. Love surrounded them, making it easier to exist.

"I love you Jimmy." Hazel eyes locked with ice blue. "I love you too Matt."

~~

6 months later

"Rhythm, you can't climb over the neighbors hedge! You'll fall down and get hurt!" Jimmy shouted, sprinting over to where his little boy were already half the way up into the branches. "But dad, it's just so much fun!" The younger Sullivan-Sanders exclaimed, smiling innoccent up at his dad. Jimmy furrowed his eyebrows. "But it's still dangerous, Rhythm." He said determined, picking the boy down, Rythm giving a sqeak as he did so.
"He's jus like his dad, ain't ya Rhythm?" Matt chuckled, placing the glasses at the already filled table. A BBQ party was the thing on a hot Californian summers day, and Matt was doing the final preparations before the guests came by. "Oh shut it, Sanders." Jimmy snickered, knowing Matt was right. "Anything for my husband." Matt made kissy sounds, making Jimmy giggle and Rhythm laugh.

"Is this were it's free food?" Brian Haner jr. a brown haired man, with strong body and brown eyes shouted. Strutting into the garden with his signature smirk, Zacky hot in his trails, his arms carrying different kinds of drinks. "Brian! Would you maybe help me?" He complained, waking Brian up from his slumber. "Oh, sorry baby, I'll take it."
"Looks like it is, Haner, but I see you finally understood that you're bringing free drinks." Matt teased, getting a grimace back and a chuckle from Zacky. "He is, but he doesn't like it." Zacky added, smirking. "You little sneak, I'll get you back for that later!" Brian cackled, making Zacky squeak as he pinched his ass, when he'd sat the drinks down.
"Don't wanna know." Both Matt and Jimmy shuddered, and everyone laughed wholeheartedly. "Where's short shit?" Brian asked, dumping down into a nearby chair.
"Here!" Johnny Seward grinned, coming across the lawn with secure steps. "Aww, Jay, no date?" Jimmy smiled kindly, knowing Johnny's been single for a while.
"Nice to see you to Sullivan. Nah, enjoying freedom." Johnny winked, snatching a chicken wing from Matt's overfilled tray of meat. "Hey! Keep your fingers off!"
"Never!" Johnny grinned, but sat down. "You know, Jay, I knew you would say that you were coming alone, so I took care of that date for you." Zacky grinned.
Johnny almost spit out his chewed chicken wing. "You WHAT?"
"I think he's coming over there, now." Zacky flipped his head to the side, eyes sparkling.

"Hi guys!" A slightly buff man, with calm blonde highlights, wild spiky hair, green eyes, lots of tattoos and a charming attitude came walking over the lawn.
"Coby!" Rhythm squealed, and everyone greeted the man back, grins on their faces. Johnny blushed furiously, and that was enough answer for his friends. They grinned from ear to ear.
"You must be Johnny, right?" Jacoby Shaddix asked him, making Johnny somehow formulate a yes. "Yeah, they said the cute guy with the Mohawk was my date." Coby smirked, Johnny almost falling then and there.
"Great choice!" Brian whispered to Zacky, who winked."I know".

"Looks like you're gonna get lucky tonight, Short Shit!" Matt laughed, making Johnny whisper a faint shut up and everyone else joined in the laugh too. "Let's eat!"