What Goes Around Comes Back Around

It was a really hard night for me. I couldn’t sleep, first of all because jet lag, second and more obviously, of the appointment. I know if looked like I was calm about all of this happening, and I was genuinely getting excited, but I’m just freaking out about all of this. What if I’m not a good father, or what if Pete kills me, what if I get kicked out of the band? Fall Out Boy is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don’t know what I would do if I wasn't in the band anymore.

I finally fell asleep about 2 hours before we had to wake up. But I had this dream that I was holding a little girl, wrapped up in a little pink blanket, asleep in my arms while I was sitting in a big armchair, humming a soft lullaby. It was the best two hours of sleep I've ever gotten, and it just gave me that reassurance that I needed before actually becoming a real father.

I was woken up to Jackie getting up out of bed, pulling me out of my dad dream. With only the two hours of sleep, I was so tired, but I couldn't wait to get to the doctor to see the ultrasound.

I laid in bed for about 5 minutes before I finally built up the energy to get up. I stumbled into the kitchen and made some coffee, because I knew I was definitely going to need it. I downed a cup to wake me up then went back into the room to get ready, and I heard Jackie singing in the shower. She had a soft, delicate voice and was singing Youth from on of the artists we worked with on our new album, Foxes.

“Do you want some company?” I asked, interrupting her song, and when I opened the curtain, the sight of her naked body got me really excited.

“Mmhh yes please” she grabbed me and pulled me in with her, crashing her lips against mine. We started heavily making out and I picked her up and placed her against the wall of the shower. With her legs wrapped around my waist, I wasted no time.

I slowly inserted myself into her, keeping her pressed up against the wall, slowly thrusting in and out of her. All you could hear was the sound of the water hitting the shower floor and Jackies heavy breathing and moans in between.

I knew Jackie was about to finish because she started moaning my name over and over, getting louder each time, which she always did. I was also close to coming, so I sped up a little until I finally came and I felt Jackies body vibrating against mine. Leaving us still and quiet, our wet, naked bodies pressed up against each other.

“I feel even more dirty now than when I got in.” She said after a brief moment of silence.

“Well, maybe we should actually shower now” I said, laughing. Grabbing the luffa hanging up in her shower and started washing her body.

“I think you need to put soap on it idiot” She laughed at me. Taking the luffa out of my hands “Let me do it”

We stayed in the shower, messing around and attempting to clean each other, until we finally had to force ourselves to get out of the shower so we wouldn't be late to our appointment.

We got ready really fast to make up for the extra time we spent in the shower. She took longer than me, being that all I need to do is throw on some jeans and a t-shirt, so I quickly toasted up some bagels that she had and we were out the door.

***

“Jackie, the doctor is ready to see you.” The nurse called us into the office. Jackie stood up and I followed, holding Jackies hand a little more firmly than usual. I was nervous, and she could tell, because she pulled our hands up to her lips and kissed the back of my hand.

“It’ll be okay.” She assured me, calming me down enough to go into the room and be prepared for seeing my child for the first time.

“Okay so Jackie, you're about 8 and a half weeks pregnant. So it looks like we get to hear a heartbeat today” The doctor said as he walked in.

“Yeah, thats what we’re here for” She told him

“Oh and is this the father?” He asked, obviously directed towards me.

“Uh yeah” I replied, getting up to shake his hand “Andy Hurley”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Hurley. I’m glad you're here. Are you ready for all this?” He asked

“Uh yeah. I think so. I’m a little sad that I missed the first sonogram cause I was out on the road, but I’m really glad I'm here now.” I told him.

“Well, we’re glad you're here too. So Jackie, are you ready? This is gonna be a little cold” He put some gel onto Jackies stomach and spread it around with the wand. When the screen showed an image, I held Jackies hand and stayed at her side.

“There it is.” He pointed to a small peanut sized dot on the screen. My eyes started watering a little bit. That was my son or daughter that Jackie and I made in there. Suddenly all my fear and nerves went away and was just filled with a sense of joy and warmth. “Looks like everything is healthy”

Suddenly a small heartbeat started sounding through the speakers and it became 100 times harder to contain my emotions. I felt a tear rolling down and a smile come across my face.

“And thats the heartbeat” he told us.

Jackies grip tightened and she looked up at me, with joy in her eyes, “Thats it babe. Thats our baby.”

“Yeah. And I love our little family. I’m going to love that baby, just as much as I love her mom.” Her face brightened when I said that.

“Her?” She asked

“I’ll take some pictures and give you two some privacy.” The doctor interrupted

“Thanks” Jackie told him. “But why did you say her?” She asked me again right away.

“Well, I had this dream last night, well, this morning I guess cause I only got like 2 hours of sleep, but anyway, this dream. I was holding a baby, dressed and wrapped up all in pink, I was singing her to sleep” a small grin came across my face as I thought of the dream that I had earlier that night.

“Wow. A girl?” A tear fell down her face and I wiped it away with my thumb and kissed her forehead.

The doctor came in and interrupted our moment we were having.

“So here’s your pictures and once you get dressed, you're free to go”

“Thank you doctor Ramon” Jackie said

“See you in a month, and it was nice to meet you Andy.” He said then walked out.

Jackie started getting dressed back into her clothes.

“This is so crazy. Two months ago I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids and now, I’m having a baby with someone I love.” She told me.

“I know. I did not think for a second that my life would be the way it is now, but I wouldn't have it any other way” I sad as I pulled her closer to me to lay a kiss on her soft lips. “So time for house hunting?”

“Mmh can we get food first? I’m already hungry” She said embarrassed. But I understood, I mean she’s pregnant, and I was gonna do whatever she wanted to make her happy.

“Absolutely babe, what do you want?”

“Mmmmh, I really want waffles and like a ton of fruit.” She said

“Well then thats what we shall have.” I told her, leading her out of the doctors office.

After we got some food, we started to make our way to the first house on a list that a realtor gave me. We looked at about three or four houses before I found one that I really liked in East Hollywood.

“Its a 4 bedroom, 3 and a half bath, and as you can see, the view from the master bedroom is just breathtaking.” she told us.

“Okay. Can we just have some time to talk privately please?” I asked her.

“Absolutely, I’ll just be in the kitchen.” and she turned and walked out of the master bedroom.

“What do you think about this one babe?” I asked Jackie, who was taking in the view of the city.

“Oh, yeah I love it. By far the best one, But its your house, so ultimately its your decision.” She said.

“Well, unless…maybe you uh…wanted to live here…together?” I was nervous asking, because I didn't know what she would say.

“Andy, we’ve been together for like two months. Isn’t it a little soon?” She asked.

“I know, maybe it is, but you're pregnant and your house is only one bedroom, and I don’t think you would want to be back and fourth from your house to mine, cause I sure as hell don’t. It just makes more sense for us to live together.” I told her.

“Yeah, maybe your right. But I don’t know Andy. I just, don’t want you to feel obligated to live with me because of this baby.” She looked a little disappointed, and it hurt me.

“Thats not the only reason I asked babe. yeah it’s a big part of it, but not all. I love you Jackie, and I just want to start our lives together, and this is the first step towards that.” I grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes, hoping to ease her disappointment. It apparently worked because she started to smile and gently lifted herself to kiss my lips.

“I love you too.” I heard her whisper, her lips still barely touching mine. “Lets do it”

I smiled and picked her up and spun her around, I gently set her back down and grabbed her face and kissed her.

“Come on, lets go buy a house” I grabbed her hand and we walked downstairs to meet the realtor.