Complicated

“Dad we’re home!” Vic called out as he and his brother Mike took off their shoes at the door. “Dad?”

“Out back!” they heard throughout the house. They made their way there and hit with the smell of hamburgers and hotdogs.

“Ooh!” Mike said as he saw the beautiful food. “What’s the occasion?”

“I want you guys to meet this lady friend of mine.” Mike smirked while Vic’s smile disappeared to be taken place by pursed lips.

“I’ve been talking to her for a while now and I think it might be serious.”

“Well I’m going out.” Vic said coldly.

“Victor,” his father said sadly. “This really means a lot to me and I want you to meet her.”

“No. Mike can meet her. I have places to be right now. Excuse me.”

“Bro,” Mike said, grabbing Vic’s arm gently. “Do this for dad.”

“Why?” Vic shouted. “So he can marry some slut and forget all about mom?”

“Victor, I’m not going to forget your mother!” his father shouted back. “She knows about your mother and how much she means to me, to us.” He said more calmly.

“Yeah,” Vic said; his voice cracking as he turned his back to his brother and father. “Then she wouldn’t bother with you.”

With that being said, Vic walked out of the house and jogged towards the gym. When he got there, he immediately changed into his gear than began punching the punching bag with all his force.
How could his dad be so stupid? Why date someone when all they needed was each other? Was mom not the love of his life? Millions of questions ran through Vic’s mind and in the end, he came up with his answer.

Dad didn’t love mom.

*

“Hey mom.” Vic said with a watery sigh as he sat down on the patch of grass. “I miss you. We all Miss you.” The wind blew in Vic’s hair and he took it as a sign that his mother was present. “I don’t know what dad is thinking, trying to replace you with someone else. There never will be single person who can cook like you, hug like you, laugh like you, listen like you,” He wiped the tears as he continued talking. “Love like you.” Taking a deep breath, Vic went on. “Mike is doing ok. Dad is obviously doing ok. But I’m a mess. I need you and … and I don’t think I can do this on my own.” His voice cracked at the end and Vic gave up trying to hold it in. he began talking through his tears and sniffles. “It-it gets harder every-every day. I n-need you here. Wi-th me. I’m still that-that little boy who. Who needed the hu-ug from his mo-om when he got scared of that cl-clown mask. It should’ve been me who died.”

*

“Get up you little brat. We start your training today.” Vic said loudly as he woke Kellin up.

“It’s eight in the morning!” he heard the sleep laced voice reply. “Come back in six hours.”

“Don’t make me get the bucket.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Kellin growled.

“Watch me.” and Vic was serious. He began his way out of the room before he heard a ‘fine’ being shouted at him. He walked back in with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow.

“Oh fuck off. Is it your mission to piss me off? Did not the last time give you a hint of how I am? I’m a menace.”

“I won’t let a kid get the best of me.”

“Really, because last time was a whole different story.”

“Look, just hurry the fuck up so we can get this over with.” With a sigh, Kellin got up and slid on a pair of basketball shorts he found on the floor with the tank top he slept in then lastly putting on his checkered converse. Vic just gave him a look.

“What?” with a shake of the head, Vic walked out with Kellin in tow and they made their way towards the gym to begin their training. When they got there, Kellin said, “I didn’t eat breakfast. Is there a McDonald’s close by?”

“No. McDonald’s is poison to the body.”

“But it’s good!”

“No.” Vic said firmly.

“Then what am I supposed to eat? I quite literally live for food!”

“There’s oatmeal.”

“Is it flavored?”

“No.”

Kellin ended up eating the oatmeal. He did add fruit and maple syrup that was in the back lounge for employees though, so it wasn’t that horrible. McDonalds would’ve been better.

After an hour of training, which consisted of jabbing, upper cuts, and hooks, Kellin was tired. Never in his life does he remember sweating that much or drinking that much water.

“Is this your life?” he asked as he took a break, watching Vic do combos that are more complex. “Like, is this what you do in your free time? What you breathe, eat and sleep?”

“Yeah. When I was younger, I used to watch my dad do this.” Vic grunted out. After a few more minutes, the shriek of a phone could be heard, distracting some people who were working out. Kellin pulled out his phone and saw his mom calling. He immediately answered it.

“Hey mom!” Vic heard. There were a few minutes of silence before Kellin spoke again. “I’m training for some boxing competition … Well in my defense, I didn’t know about it. Dad just signed me up for it.” This was true. Vic just doesn’t understand why he was chosen to train the brat. “I mean, he’s eh … no! … You know what mother, I have to go.” Kellin lied. “He wants me to practice some more … no mom … bye.”

Once Kellin hung up Vic said, “So your mom huh?”

“Yeah. I love her and all but she’s, how do I say this?”

“Too much?”

“Yeah, too much.”

“Well enjoy here while you have her.” The air became a bit more serious. “Because you never know when you’ll lose her.”

“What?” Kellin hinted a bit of wisdom behind those words.

“Come on. You have to keep on training.”

That was the end of that.

*

“So how old is Kellin?” Mike asked as soon as Vic stepped through the door.

“I don’t know, why?”

“The club is having a party tonight for people sixteen through twenty-one. You can go ya’know, being twenty and all.”

“I don’t have his number.”

“Ask dad for Richard’s number then you ask Richard for Kellin’s number and there problem solved.”

“Or,” Vic said slowly. “You can do that. Besides, I’m not going.”

“Why?” Mike groaned. “I used to see you get all spiffy with Himes when y’all were younger.”

“You know why Michael.”

“Bro, that wasn’t your fault.”

“Get out.” Vic said rudely. “No, I’m not going and no, I don’t have that brat’s number.”

“Vic-.” Mike began.

“Now!” Vic shouted. “I’m going to the gym. You’re irritating.”

If Vic were to have looked back as he walked out, he would’ve seen the hurt and sadness in Mike’s eyes. But he didn’t.

*

The music was pounding through his ears. The drum was his heartbeat, the guitar was the blood flowing through his veins and the lyrics were the words he couldn’t stop thinking no matter how hard he tried.

No one would understand his pain even if they tried. No pill dosage or therapist could help Vic. He was broken beyond repair. He didn’t enjoy it though. All the things he used to enjoy used to take pride in, mean nothing to him now. It’s not that he liked the feeling because honestly he wants to feel complete again; he wants to feel human.

However, that’s where the gym came in. boxing was always a part of his life, but after his mother’s death, it became an outlet. He got stronger, physically, after that and losing the trophy his father loved to have in the case at the receptionists’ desk. That year, three years ago, was when Vic’s world came crashing down for him.

Then there’s this summer that’ll probably suck ass for all eternity. All he wanted to do was practice more for the competition but then realizing that it fell the same day as his mother’s death date, he didn’t, couldn’t sign up for it. That day was reserved for him to stay alone in his room, visit his mom at around lunchtime, and go back home to sleep the day away. It was the only day he’d allow himself to cry in front of people.

But that’s beside the point. The real reason this summer would suck was Kellin. That annoying, whiny, shrimp sized human. Vic can’t come up with a reason as to why his dad and Richard chose him of all people to train Kellin. He was impatient, he was easily annoyed, shit, and he even had anger issues. Things weren’t adding up. That insignificant human already pissed him off their first day of training. They’ve only met three times and Vic can’t with the little devil.

“Hey.” Speak of the devil. “Mike said I could probably find you here.” Vic ignored him and punched the punching bag with even more strength. Out his peripheral vision, Vic could see Kellin getting hesitantly closer. “Vic.” Vic punched the bag so hard one of the chains snapped, causing Kellin to flinch back.

“What? What could you possibly want that you had to come down here and annoy the shit out of me?” he growled towards the shaken up boy. Kellin just stood there, shocked. “What?” Vic yelled again.

“No!” Kellin yelled back after gaining some composure. “Mike said you were upset so I came looking for you” he said more calmly. That made Vic’s macho man act falter a bit. “I was worried you’d do something stupid.”

“What do you care? You’re just a kid. You don’t know anything.”

“But I know what’s it’s like to live in guilt.” That made Vic laugh darkly. “What?”

“What could you possibly know about living with guilt? Did you steal a cookie from a cookie jar?”

“No,” Vic rolled his eyes and set on taking down the punching bag. “But I know what it’s like to feel responsible for someone’s death.” That stopped Vic’s movements. “I know what it’s like to know you could’ve prevented it but not doing anything about it.” Vic turned towards Kellin and saw him crying. “But what could I know right? I’m just a friendless kid who knows nothing in the world.”
With that, Kellin turned around and walked out of the gym.

Vic turned back to the punching bag.