Complicated

Everyone let the news sink in a bit. To others it would seem like no big deal but to Vic it was like telling him he was going to die. Boxing is something that’s part of who he is and not being able to partake in anything related to it was heartbreaking. He wasn’t meant to be a sideline cheerleader, he was meant to be part of the action.

“Well, we’re going to leave. You can only have one person staying here with you. Who will it be?” his dad said. Danielle began to offer herself when Vic said Kellin’s name. Kellin opened his eyes upon hearing his name and Danielle looked at him in anger.

“I want Kellin to stay here with me, if that’s ok with you Richard.” Kellin’s dad nodded, kind of surprised. “Would you like to stay Kellin?” Kellin nodded, not really paying attention because um what the fuck is wrong with Vic. “Great, so can you guys please leave? I’m tired.”

Once everyone left and the door was closed, Kellin looked over at Vic. “Ok, so what’s the deal? Are you ready to answer some questions about what happened and why you’re here?”

“No, I’m not ready but I have to.” He sighed.

“First off, why are your forearms wrapped up?” Vic mumbled that answer. “What? I didn’t understand you.” Vic sighed as he threw his head back against the pillow.
“I went to go pick up Danielle and she was making me angrier than I was already so I yelled at her and kicked her out of my car then I drove off and got stopped by some police because I was speeding then I went to this cliff.” Vic paused for a moment before saying, “When I got to the edge, I wanted to jump. I wanted to die so badly.” Tears began falling down his cheeks. “I pulled out a razor I kept in between my phone and the case and just went at it. I checked the time and it was twelve so I drove back and I got dizzy and lightheaded and then when I looked up, I saw a truck heading towards me. Next thing I remember is looking over and seeing a big orange cloud swallowing both trucks and a scream.”

“You mean …”

“I fucking killed someone. I’m a murderer.”

“No Vic, no. you’re not a killer.” Kellin said as he went to hug Vic., “It was an accident ok?”

“I killed someone.” Vic cried. His body shook and the heart monitor began beeping faster. “Shut up!” He shouted. The monitor increased even more, causing Vic to freak out. “Can’t - breath. Kellin. Help.”

“Help! Someone please help him! Please!” Kellin shouted from the room as he tried to calm Vic down. He got up from the bed and ran out the room. “A doctor! A nurse! I need someone now for fucks sake!” He shouted as tears ran down his face. “Please!”

“What’s wrong?” a nurse asked as she rushed towards the distraught boy. He simply pointed to the room. “We’ll need a doctor!” she shouted into her walkie-talkie as she rushed into the room. A doctor and another nurse rushed in. they began shouting and ripping off Vic gown.

The sound of the heart monitor going flat made Kellin’s face paler, body cold, and everything freeze.

“He went under! He went under!”

“No! Vic!” Kellin screamed as he tried to get closer. The male nurse pushed him back, trying to get him away. “No! Let me help! You have to save him! I love him!”

At the moment, the second those words left his mouth, Vic’s heart began beeping. His body stopped violently shaking, like if his seizure never occurred. Everyone stopped their movement. The doctor checked his vitals and appeared stunned.

“What happened?” the male nurse asked.

“He’s fine.” The doctor said in disbelief. “In my thirty years of being here, I’ve never seen anything like this. We’ll have to keep a close eye on him.”

“Should we move him to the ICU?” the female nurse asked.

“No. If he has another one then we will. We’ll just have to take it easy with him.” the doctor walked out of the room, still in shock.

“Um, can you put me down please?” Kellin asked. Once he was on his feet, he cautiously walked towards Vic. He was sweating. “Can, um, one of you tell me what’s up with him? Like what happened?”

“Well, he’s on suicide watch.” The female nurse said. “He got between thirty to forty stiches on his arms. He should be dead, honestly. When they got there, they found him dead but then, as they were going to cover him up, they saw him twitch. This boy, he’s a fighter. It’s not time for him to go. The impact and distance should’ve killed him and the magnitude of the seizure should’ve too.” Kellin sat there stunned. “He did break his leg, and a few ribs but other than that he’s ok,” the nurse continued. “We’ll we’re going to leave. There’s an emergency button on the side of the bed.”

“Vic should’ve been died.” Kellin whispered to himself as he went to sit next to the sleeping boy. He gently placed a kiss on his forehead and lay next to him letting his mind conjure up dreams both beautiful and scary.

*

The next morning when Vic woke up, he had a headache and there was a faint ringing in his ear. He looked around the room when he saw Kellin’s slightly sloppy handwriting on the white board, informing him that he was going to go get breakfast from the cafeteria. He smiled a bit but then the door opened up and in walked Danielle. So much for a good morning.

“What are you doing here?” Vic asked coldly.

“I’m still your girlfriend Vic.” She said smugly.

“Um, no you’re not? Besides, I thought I told you to stay away from me.”

“You can never get rid of me baby.” She said as she walked towards Vic. “You’re always gonna keep wanting more of this.” She leaned forward until her lips ghosted over his. “And I’ll always want more of you.” She began kissing him feverishly. No matter how hard Vic tried to get her lips off his, it was useless.

“Um … you want privacy?” Danielle pulled away and there stood Jaime, Tony, Mike and Kellin. She smirked when she saw that Kellin looked upset.

“Uh, I’ll catch you guys later. My, uh, dad, he um, needs me to help, him, with something. Yeah. Bye.” Kellin threw his food away, hunger gone from his system, as he ran down to the lobby and sat on one of the chairs crying. He should’ve known. What twenty year old would ever want to be with a sixteen year old?

“Son,” Kellin looked up and saw a priest. “It’ll all be ok. Why don’t you go into the church?”

“Sorry, I’m not religious.” Kellin said as he wiped his tears.

“You don’t have to pray but you can cry in private.” He had a point so Kellin nodded as he followed him to the small church. “There are pews where you can sit and cry. You can lay down if you want.” With a small thank you, Kellin entered the place and the priest walked back out.

He sat in the back, where the light barely touched, and cried again. Thirty minutes passed when Kellin decided that no, he will not cry for someone like Vic. He had one more month left with his dad and he was going to spend it smiling and laughing. He wasn’t going to be the one living with the guilt. He would be guilt free because he didn’t fuck with anyone’s feelings. Kellin wiped his tears, awkwardly making a cross in front of him as he’s seen his grandma do, before leaving and walking to the bathroom. Freshening up, he called for a cab and waited to get home.

Once home, he walked inside and found his dad sitting on the couch watching some football game.

“Hey, I thought I was picking you up later?”

“Yeah but then Danielle got there so I called a cab to come get me. Needed to shower and brush my teeth.” Kellin somewhat lied.

“Well ok. Are you going back?”

“No, she said she would stay there tonight.”

“That’s nice of her. She’s really a good girl for Vic.”

“Uh-huh.” Kellin said disinterestedly. “Ima go shower. Be down later.” Kellin didn’t leave enough time for his dad to answer before he walked upstairs.

An hour later, after he was clean and smelling like the Japanese Cherry Blossom body soap (he likes the smell, don’t judge) his mom got him from Bath and Body Works he came back downstairs to Skype his mom.

“Hey mom.” Kellin said a bit too loud to be considered normal. He saw his dad move his head a bit.

“Hi? Why are you smirking?” At that, his dad flicked him off.

“No one’s smirking. But anyways, I feel like I haven’t talked to you in while.”

“Kellin, it’s only been two weeks.” She said with sass. His dad, at the moment, just so happened to walk behind the couch, appearing for a moment on the screen before
disappearing around the corner. “You’re with your father?” his mom whisper yelled. “I should’ve known.”

“I have not a single clue what you’re talking about. I just wanted to chat with you and see how dull your life has become but no, you’re just throwing accusations at me. I, dear mother, am appalled by such actions.”

“Where do you get such sass from?”

“You.” His dad said as he walked back again. His mom simply rolled her eyes before crossing them and sticking her tongue out. “There it is again. Now I see where Kellin gets it from.”

The night was spent like that, with the playful bickering shared between everyone. Kellin for once felt normal, like his parents were an actual couple. And he let himself believe that, knowing the harm he could be doing to himself when reality hit.

Vic, on the other hand, fell asleep in a cold bed with a sad heart. He knew he shouldn’t feel this way but Kellin made him question everything. Not his sexuality, but who he was as a person. Danielle was a good fuck and so was Kellin, but with Kellin, it felt like there was being more offered then sex. It was as if there were actual feelings like happiness and sadness, not loneliness.

Reality had sank it’s claws into everyone that night.