Thirty Stories Down

I stared down at the earth below the thirty-story skyscraper. People were bustling, some even running to what I presumed to be work because they stopped to get that coffee they needed from Starbucks. I don’t blame them coffee is delicious. My usual order swiftly passed through my erratic brain. One caramel iced coffee with cream and sugar and one dark roast with no cream and four sugars. Not five, not three, but four.

I managed to smile even while I stared in to the eyes of my doomed fate.

If anyone ever got Cross’ order wrong they were sent in to the ‘mail room’ and never heard from again. It really wasn’t something to smile at, he wasn’t a person to smile for but it couldn’t be helped. He had trained me well just like he did everyone else he had come to trust.

But I couldn’t do what everyone else did for him. I couldn’t be the perfect wife, not even the perfect girlfriend. I understood there was a strange arrangement between our families, I knew that Cross really did love me. I really loved him but I hated the lies, and the rage. The violence too, our families were cut from the same cloth essentially but my soul had to have been crafted from a whole another type of fabric.

I was nothing like my older brothers. They thrived in the family business they even had intentions of enlarging our company. My father had instilled the idea in to our minds for as long as I could remember. Which was why I had been promised to Cross since my fateful birth.

Our fathers had made it a point to keep us close; we went to the same schools since kindergarten, we frequented the same hangouts, we even ate at the same restaurants. Unfortunately because of our backgrounds we could only make friends with other kids in similar situations which meant we ran in the same social circles.

Our fathers were certainly cunning.

To a certain extent my father encouraged me to play hard to get for Cross. Although I knew he had an agenda. There was no doubt in my mind my father knew that I was serious. I had no interest in Cross Kamon. I had no interest in my own family’s business.

So when the time came for a full on pursuit of a relationship I was adamant to dodge, duck, and deflect. Our family motto. Whatever made my father think that I wanted a man whose life was no different than my own wasn’t beyond me. My dad while he was a cold ‘businessman’ if you could call him that, was an affectionate father. Dad didn’t know of other lifestyles apart from his own, he saw that the Kamons had given birth to an heir conveniently a year before me. With two sons ahead of his daughter he had no need for another child to run the office. Dad was, is, and forever will be old-fashioned when I was born he seized the opportunity to insure my safety and comfort for the rest of my adult life.

Hiromi Kamon being much the same as my father also saw the golden opportunity and struck a deal with my father. At two weeks old I was engaged to be married.

At age five it had been made very clear to me who I was going to marry. At a party that my family the Ericsons were hosting I had been allowed to play with the other kids who had to attend with their parents. I remember playing tag on the large playground my mother and father had built in our large backyard for my brothers and myself. I was playing with a boy name Nicholas who is now my best friend. We laughed and giggled til we couldn’t anymore.

Our laughter was loud and raucous I always looked back to see how close Nick had become, but when I turned around he wasn’t close at all. I searched all over for him, I remember screaming for my mother and Mrs. Smith when I saw that a group of boys formed a circle and watched Cross push Nicholas down, he even managed to kick dirt at him before the adults came over.

Cross was scolded by his mother but his father gave him a sickening pat on the back when Cross told them he thought Nicholas was picking on me.

“Look at that Ayako he’s already protecting his wife and only at the age of five!” Mr. Kamon had exclaimed proudly to his wife, I remember the chuckle my father gave and the apology my mother made to my best friend’s mother.

“We paired the perfect match Kamon,” my father replied just as excited, “Did we not?”

The two men happily went to back to their cigars and cognac while my mother stayed back almost nervously. As if she were afraid of Cross getting too close.

“Mommy what did Mr.Kamon mean?”

Mom swallowed before she looked down to me a small smile on her lips, “One day you and Cross will be like Daddy and me.”

I made a face of disgust, “Yuck no way!”

She chuckled, maybe now looking back she felt relieved by my rejection. But she could only prevent the inevitable for so long.

Grade school came and went in what felt like a blink of an eye. Cross was always an acquaintance never a close friend. Even in high school. His constant nagging for a date with me never quite won me over, I deflected every single invitation to parties he threw and I even went so far as to changing my schedule if he were ever put in my class.

Daddy seemed to wake up one day; he finally had enough of my ‘act’ he said I had gone far enough to make the boy want me. He told me to accept the date the next time he asked me, and after a decent fight he threatened to disown me.

So I accepted the date.

Cross had come across just as I had imagined.

Conceited, cold, and possessive.

He already started to call me wife and I hadn’t even acknowledged his presence as steady. He could be a funny man and he was very charming. So charming he managed to get a second date. Even a third but I never considered him to be anything more than a boy I was trying out.

Possessive is a seemingly great understatement.

A boy named Elijah had expressed interest in me and I thought he was sweet. The total opposite of what Cross was I decided to give the boy a chance. Against my best friend’s advice and even my bodyguard Ryouichi, advised against it. Claiming that Young master Cross would strongly oppose it.

His words only made me want to do it more.

With every dangerous act a warning of: ‘at your own risk’ comes along.

I’m not entirely sure how word got out of my date, I only told a few people and those three people were not gossipers. However Cross found out and stopped me at my locker the afternoon before demanding that I cancel. I said no. In front of everyone passing in the hallway I was slapped and called disobedient. As I held my cheek in shock, he told me that if I didn’t cancel I would regret it.

Needless to say I didn’t cancel. I wasn’t a meek girl I could take a hit I had been surprised that’s it. I grew up with two brothers I had to protect my own especially in the type of business my family runs.

It was right before the main course that the restaurant windows were busted in and the sound of firing bullets began. Naturally my bodyguards shielded and protected me, they managed to remove me from the scene safely but not before my phone buzzed with a text message.

I told you you would regret it.

With that text came a picture of Elijah with bullet in his leg and another in his side, It was then I learned that Cross wasn’t only possessive but obsessive as well.

I never saw Elijah again; I didn’t want to gamble with his life any longer.

From then on whatever Cross said went. He said he was my boyfriend so that meant I was his girlfriend. He said he wanted to study back in Japan where his family lived, I had to go with him and do the best I could to learn frequent Japanese.

When I graduated Uni a year after him he proposed and asked me to be his wife in front of both of our families. Somewhere in those five years of being away from home I had learned to love him and accept whatever he had said as gospel. So I blindly said yes in overly bright happiness.

The English and Japanese mafia would become united the day of our wedding and our fathers couldn’t have been happier.
The months to come would pass by in pre-wedding bliss, nothing eventful to report until the night before the wedding.

We had gone through the rehearsal, we had the dinner and we even exchanged our own gifts before we would go our separate ways to have bachelor and bachelorette parties. Nick although encouraged to attend Cross’ party insisted he come to mine. He was never fond of Cross and since he was my Man of honor he thought it only be appropriate he join the ladies that evening.

He filled my head with doubt; He reminded me of what I was getting myself in to. What kind of man Cross actually was and the life I’ll never be able to leave If I married this man.

Torn between what I should do: I ran.

In my beautiful Sheath Vera Wang gown I ran to the top of this skyscraper debating whether or not I wanted to jump to escape.

My friend had been right; there were nights back when we were students Cross would return home with blood on his clothes and bruises on his knuckles. There had been times when I walked in on conversations that I shouldn’t have known about and had the door slammed in my face.

Apologies would be given later in the form of diamonds and nice clothes but never in words. It bothered me enough to make me falter. I took a deep breath and steadied myself on the ledge. Love was a really crazy thing, especially if it’s unwanted. Imagine loving your husband-to-be but despising the fact that you do because you never wanted to.

I had so much anger because he was able to break me. Almost eighteen years behind me of strength and conditioning and never did I bat an eyelash at my surroundings but five years with this man and I’m able to crumble like I was made from sticks.

The prominent buzzing of my cellphone was an annoyance but I knew that if I hopped off that ledge I wouldn’t get back up. So I ignored it and just when I thought I was going to jump the bang of the roof door frightened me enough halt me where I stood.

“Lena!”

I froze when I heard that voice.

“What are you doing up there?” as he got closer I could tell that he was angry, “You’re going to ruin your dress!”

I chuckled, “Leave it to you to only care about my dress.”

"It cost your father a fortune,” he replied evenly, “Although I don’t know why when it leaves nothing to the imagination.”

“It’s a beautiful gown,” I told him with a smile, “Tell me Cross do I look beautiful?”

He blinked at me as if he were confused, “Of course you do. I don’t know what kind of silly game you’re playing at but you’ve delayed our ceremony by an hour already. Our fathers are growing annoyed, so if you would please come down from there we can return to the church in a timely manner.”

Did he not see the pain in my eyes? Or did he just not care?

“Cross I’m not playing any game. Why would I when this is my life?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I do, why are you behaving this way?”

I ignored his question, “If our fathers hadn’t arranged our match would you have picked me?”

He stared at me for a long time while the wind whipped pieces of his long hair out from the tie that kept it in place.

“What if I say no?”

I felt my heart skid to a stop and my breath seemed to come in short gasps. I was not expecting for him to say no when for so long he had always claimed me to be his. Was he lying to me the entire time just please our fathers?

“Then I will jump.”

“Well that’s certainly irrational to jump before listening to one’s rationale…”

“What rationale could you possibly have for not loving someone?”

“Baka!” he snapped at me, “Were you listening to what I said before? I said I loved you.”

“But you said you wouldn’t have chosen me—”

“Would you have chosen me if it weren’t for our parents Lena?”

I swallowed once more knowing full well that I probably would have continued to ignore his existence if I hadn’t been prompted to acknowledge his presence. I sighed and then whispered a quiet no.

“See?” Cross questioned, “What’s the point in worrying about alternate universes when this is the only one we should be worried about?”

“I am worried.”

“For what?” Cross asked as he took a step closer to me, “I’m willing to do anything for you, I will protect you and keep you warm, I’ll love you until I die. So please come down from there.”

He held his hand out for me and I stared at it for a moment before I decided to take it, quietly and slowly he helped me down. He kissed my head and held me close while caressing my arms.

“Don’t run from me Lena…”

I nodded my head quietly.

“Come Hiroshi is waiting with the car.”

Forty-five minutes later I was married to Cross Kamon, in our limo on the way to our reception he held my hand tightly and placed a small kiss on the top of it.

“How are you feeling wife?”

“Better,” I said with a smile, “Happy.”

“Me too,” he placed a kiss on my lips, “I can’t wait for tonight.”

“You’re such a pervert,” I swatted his hand away from my chest, “We do have a party to attend first.”

He chuckled before he twisted the new wedding band on my finger, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Becoming my wife.”