Your Smile Still Makes My Heart Sing

“Hey, I’m going to go before my mom pulls my curls out,” Nick said as the two of us sat on the couch. Thirty seconds had passed, and he was still seated.

“I thought you said you’re leaving,” I said. Nick chuckled.

“Commercial,” he said simply which made me roll my eyes.

“Why don’t you just leave when the show ends, which is in ten minutes,” I said.

“Good idea! But if my mom yells at me for being seven extra minutes late, I’m blaming you.”

“Well, your mom loves me,” I said.

“I know. She talks so highly about you and she finally found out what Joe did a few months ago,” Nick said with a smirk on his face. “She yelled at him and said you deserve so much better than her own son. She felt bad for saying that, but Kevin and I got a good laugh out of it.” Nick laughed to himself.

“Ouch, that was harsh,” I said feeling slightly bad towards Joe. “I feel bad now.”

“Don’t, it was hilarious. Even dad laughed,” Nick said laughing.

“Okay, show’s over. Bye Nicholas,” I said standing up and pulling Nick by his arm. Nick had to weigh a good thirty pounds less than me, but I couldn’t pull him up.

“Don’t bother,” Nick said standing up and making me fall down on the coffee table. “These muscles aren’t for little girls.”

“Little girls? You’re mean,” I said pouting.

“I guess you walking me home is out of the question, isn’t it?” Nick said as I stood up next to him.

“Of course, you called me a little girl.” I stood right by his side. “And look at that! I’m as tall as you are, and you’re wearing shoes.”

“That’s because where I’m standing is slanted down,” Nick said straightening up his posture.

“Yeah, whatever. Good night little boy,” I said as I slowly started kicking Nick out the door. I opened the front door and pushed Nick out.

“Hey, so what are you doing tomorrow?” he asked before I closed the door.

“Nothing, I think. Oh wait, Brian’s game. Want to come?” I asked.

“Do I have to wake up at 6 again?” he asked while I laughed.

“No, I’m sleeping in. So be ready around 11ish, okay?” I said.

“Roger that. Good night Jascakes.”

“Later Ponas.” Nick chuckled as he walked off my porch and headed to his house. I closed the door shut and went back to sit on my couch, which was now occupied by my mother and father. As I sat down, I noticed my mom had a tiny, mischievous grin on her face. It bugged me, of course, but I didn’t really want to know what was going on in that mind of hers.

“What’d you two do today?” my dad finally asked.

“We all went to lunch,” I replied as I causally took the remote and turned the volume up two notches.

“All? So Joe and Kevin went as well?” my mom asked. I nodded my head. “That’s nice.”

“I guess,” I said casually as my dad chuckled at nothing. I stared at him as he continued watching the TV.

“Who’s this Ronaldo?” my mom asked.

“Who?” I asked.

“You tell me,” she said. I stared at her with my mouth open.

“You mean Ronnie?” I asked as she nodded. “What about him?”

“Nada,” she said which annoyed me.

“Why ask if you’re going to say never mind,” I asked. She left that small smile on her face.

“Are you and Joe having issues?” my dad asked which caused me to stare at him.

“Um, why would you ask that?” I asked. He simply shrugged his shoulders and took the remote from my hand. “No seriously, why would you randomly ask that?”

“He’s barely over here like before. Nick’s usually the one over now or your brother was telling us about this Ronnie boy,” my mom said.

“Ronnie is Luis’ friend that I’m just hanging out with at school. And you two know Nick is practically my other half, you never had a problem with him hanging around here before.”

“Oh, we don’t have a problem. We adore all four of those boys, but we just wanted to know if everything’s good with you and Joe,” my mom repeated herself on the Joe subject. I sighed.

“Fine, want the truth? We broke up a long time ago, but don’t worry about it. We’re still friends,” I said. It was quiet now. The TV was still on, blaring the live Giants vs. Patriots game. I realized it was a day game and today was Saturday. I hated watching pre-recorded games, it wasn’t the same was watching it live.

“Oh,” my mom finally said just as Bradshaw scored a touchdown.

“What did that kid do to you?” my dad asked.

“Carlos, forget it,” my mom said, reaching over my shoulder to tap my dad on his arm.

“Seriously dad,” I said.

“No, I want to know,” my dad pressed.

“Nothing,” I said lying, “He broke up with me.”

“What the heck did you do?” he asked.

“Daddy, watch the stupid game,” I said, “Bradshaw got a touchdown and you barely blinked.”

“This is old, but he better score that touchdown manana,” my dad said as he stopped watching the recording and switched to the news. “So are you dating Nick or whatever now?”

“Dad!” I said as he laughed. “No, I’m not nor do I plan to.”

“Okay, calm down. I was just wondering,” He said, “Can’t a guy wonder?”

“No,” I said as I stood up. I walked straight into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. There was nothing appealing in there besides yogurt.

“You just had dinner!” my mom shouted as I closed the refrigerator.

“I know! But that was over an hour ago,” I yelled back as I opened the cupboard above me revealing a bunch of cereal boxes. I grabbed a brand new box of Fruit Loops and opened it. I started eating out of the box as I walked out of the kitchen. “I’m going to do some homework or something, so don’t bug me dad.” My dad chuckled as I walked up the steps and into my room. It was looking rather clean after Nick helped me out with the laundry. I loved having a neat freak as a friend, because he kept cleaning up and tidying up my room for me.

I walked to my computer and turned it on. As it slowly loaded up, I quickly changed into some pajamas and put my hair up. Finally, as the desktop popped into view, I laughed out loud. My desktop picture was from the day after the guys returned from Europe and came out to Brian’s game. It was a very sorry, sad attempt of Kevin, Nick, Brian and I trying to form a pyramid. We all ended up flat on the grass looking like a bunch of grass models.

I quickly opened up Word and stared at my current three paged report on my hero. I had exactly one week to perfect it and make it longer. Of course I lagged on that like all my assignments, but this was the one assignment I was determined to finish.

Getting easily sidetracked, I opened up iTunes and Aim, of course. I quickly minimized them, so I wouldn’t get fully sidetracked and typed a good three sentences and went onto iTunes. I pressed party shuffle and ‘An Open Letter to NYC’ by the Beastie Boys popped on.

JJ89: Hi

I looked up the minute I heard that stupid ding you get when you receive instant messages. I grunted out of annoyance. What could Joe possibly have to say to me?

JGonzo: What?

JJ89: Are you still mad from earlier? I’m seriously sorry … I was being a … well I’m sorry. :(

JGonzo: Yeah, well I’m kinda busy at the moment, so can I ttyl?

JJ89: Can you just hear me out for one minute? PLEASE? I’ll stop bothering you if you listen for once.

I sighed loudly. I was more annoyed with Joe now than before. I completely forgot about what happened at lunch. That’s why I loved hanging out with Nicholas; he made me forget about all my problems. Sadly, this was a trait Joe was very good at doing also when we used to be closer.

JGonzo: Joseph, how many times do I have to ‘hear you out’? You’re being a jerk to me and I don’t appreciate that :/

JJ89: Last time! I promise Jas, just pleeeeeease?

I sighed loudly. I hated when people typed like an idiot and can’t bother lifting their finger from the keyboard.

JGonzo: Go, talk. I’m doing my paper, so don’t assume I’m not reading.

I minimized Joe’s IM and went back to my paper. Joe either gave up with my rudeness towards him or he was typing a really long message. I was almost nearing a fifth page when I heard that faint sound again. I clicked on his message.

JJ89: Okay, I know I shouldn’t care who you’re friends with let alone who you date. I admit it, I was a douche bag towards you and you don’t deserve me AT all. I really liked you though, and I even thought we could be forever. I even found myself being angry towards my own brother for being too close towards you, that’s when I realized I need to change. I promised you I would change and I tend to keep that promise.

That’s it?

JJ89: So far I haven’t kept my promise, and I feel awful for that. Heck, you would probably be happier dating Nick than me. I feel like I ruined your life, you didn’t deserve what I did to you. And you surely didn’t deserve me flirting with your best friend and that girl that came to your house. I would let you move on and live your life, but I know you still care about me just as much as I care for you. Maybe you don’t love me anymore, but I want you to know you’ll always have a place in my heart.

I hate when Joe goes all emotional on me. He makes me crack and have second thoughts about taking him back. Ironically ‘Just Friends’ started playing which made me teary eyed, for no apparent reason.

JGonzo: I hate you sometimes.

JJ89: :( Why? What did I say? What can I do to fix it? I can’t stand the fact knowing you hate me Jas.

JGonzo: Because Joe! Half the time I want to take you back but I keep thinking about what you did to me … that really hurt. What if you do that again? I don’t want to relive that ever again. I seriously was head over heels in love with you and you broke my heart.

JJ89: I know I screwed up and I’m the one that has to relive with the fact I broke your heart. Every single day I relive what I did to you, do you know how that makes me feel? Sometimes I feel like running away, doing something I would never do. But I think of my family, you and my fans. I would never live with myself if I disappointed any of you.

JGonzo: You better never do anything drastic Joe. I’d feel so guilty knowing you’re doing something stupid just because of me.

JJ89: I won’t, but please just reconsider what I said. I need you in my life, you’re like the final piece of the puzzle I need to complete my life. Without you, I’m not even Joe. I’m just a boring, ordinary guy.

Slowly, tears were starting to find their way down my face. I didn’t bother wiping them since I heard my parents go into the bedroom for the night.

JGonzo: I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow.

I couldn’t talk to him anymore, even if it wasn’t face to face. I signed off quickly and sat back on my chair. I looked at the clock on the bottom of the screen. It was already 10:30. The night really flew by when I was locked up in my room. I heard a light trickle of rain starting to pour down.

“Great, now the field will be muddy tomorrow,” I muttered to myself as I wiped the tears that were on my face. I saved what I had written and shut down the computer. It was now 10:31. How could just a minute pass by? I sat on my computer chair thinking word-for-word what Joe told me. I wish he would disappear sometimes, or that my mom would make us move again. I wouldn’t mind moving one last time.

There was a soft knock on my balcony glass door which made me jump up in fright. I tried playing it off as thunder, but it was crystal clear that somebody was on my balcony. It was a guy too, he was wet and I couldn’t make out his face.

I slowly stood up and walked over.

“Jas, open up please.” I realized it was Joe. I didn’t want to let him in, but I walked over to the door and unlocked it. I opened the door and he stood in the doorway, soaking wet.

“Why are you here?” I asked as he removed the hair from his eyes.

“I wanted to know if you’re okay. I’m sorry for bombarding you with all that, but you probably wouldn’t listen if I told you to your face,” Joe said. I noticed he was slightly shivering from the cold and I was having serious thoughts of slamming the door in his face.

Instead I pulled him into my room and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him tense up right away. He surely wasn’t expecting that, and neither was I, but he ended up hugging me back. I’m not going to lie, I missed this and even though he was soaking wet I felt warm and happy with him.

“Let’s get you some dry clothes,” I said softly.

“Five minutes,” Joe whispered.

“You’re going to catch a cold,” I said.

“At least I’ll have someone to take care of me while I’m sick,” he said. I smiled to myself.

“Kevin’s a nurse too? I wish I had him as a brother,” I said as I removed myself from Joe and walked to my dresser. I pulled out an old pair of Nick’s pajama bottoms and threw them at Joe. “You know where the bathroom’s at.”

“And risk your dad walking in on me? No thanks,” Joe said as he took off his sweater. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me half naked before.” I scoffed as I went to my bed and buried my face in my pillow. “Done.”

I felt my bed shift as Joe sat on it. At the moment, the power shut off and a large thunderclap filled the air.

“Um, stay the night?” I asked as I looking up at Joe’s silhouette.

“Duh, I’m not walking back out there,” Joe said pulling down my covers.

“Uh, you’re sleeping on the floor,” I said as I kicked him off the bed and got under the covers. I threw him a pillow. “There’s an extra blanket in the closet, night.”

“You’re not a very good hostess,” Joe mumbled as he walked over to my closet and ended up falling. “Well, I’m comfortable here, night.” I laughed lightly. “Night.”

“Shut up,” I mumbled.

“This floor is uncomfortable,” Joe complained.

“Then go sleep with my dad. He’d love to wake up next to you.”

“Fine, but can you hand me one of your blankets?” he asked. I rolled my eyes as I sat up in bed and removed my comforter and tossed it on the floor.

“Can you please shut up now? I have to have at least seven hours of sleep,” I said.

“Okay, good night Jas. I love you,” he mumbled. I rolled my eyes and closed them afterwards.

“I love you too,” Joe said in a girly, high pitched voice that made me laugh. “Okay, I’ll shut up. I’m just excited! You’re talking to me again!”

“Let me sleep or I’m kicking you out,” I said.

“Fair enough,” Joe said.

“Oh, and 1 4 3,” I said and shut my eyes again.

“Huh?” he said after a long minute.

“Tell me when you figure it out,” I said, “Now go to sleep.”