Your Smile Still Makes My Heart Sing

“Like my costume?” Joe asked coming down the stairs. I was sitting on his couch with Nick flipping through an old family album of the Jonas family. I couldn’t pry myself away from looking at it since all three of the guys no longer looked like that anymore. They weren’t small, cute little kids running around in Power Ranger shirts, or Barney shirts or let alone cowboy outfits; well maybe Kevin. They were much taller, way cuter and not to mention some of the best dressing guys I’ve ever met.

“Joe, you were wearing that earlier,” I said staring at him. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a tanish-white button-up rolled up to his elbows, an olive colored striped vest, a black tie, and to top it off his stupid pink shoes that supposedly the President loved. He didn’t match AT all, so I was guessing that’s why he called it his costume. It was more like a fashion no-no.

“Actually, I wasn’t wearing these shoes earlier,” he said. “And I just put on the vest.”

“Did you get dressed in the dark?” I asked.

“No,” Joe said grabbing the family album and shutting it close. He walked over to a bookcase and put it back in. “And I wouldn’t talk if I were you. At least I attempt to dress up; you and Nick are just wearing what you were earlier.”

“Actually I changed my shoes,” Nick said. I looked over at him and laughed.

“Don’t tell me you threw them away,” I said.

“I didn’t,” Nick said standing up. “I just put them away.” I rolled my eyes as I stood up.

“Where are the youngest Gonzos at?” Joe asked.

“My parents took them out,” I said. “So I’m stuck with you idiots all night.”

“And that hurt,” Joe said putting his hand to his heart.

“Good so where’s Frankie at?” I asked. “I want to see what he ended up dressing as.”

“Actually I’m more dying to see Kevin,” Nick replied.

“He left already,” Joe said. “Said he didn’t want anyone seeing what Kelsey made him dress up as.”

“Do you know where she lives?” I asked. Joe shook his head. “Darn it. I want to laugh at Kevin. How much do you want to be she made him dress up like Batman or something?”

“No, no,” Nick said. “More like a pirate or something stupid.”

“Joe you should have kept him here all day,” I said. “He was supposed to come out with us.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Joe asked. “Lock him up in a closet?”

“That could work,” I said as Nick laughed. “Frankie! You look so cute!” I ran up to Frankie and picked him up, squeezing him tightly in the process.

“Thanks,” Frankie said. I put him back down and looked at him. Only Frankie could pull of dressing like Spiderman.

“If I dressed like Spiderman, would you think I was cuter?” Joe asked.

“Nah,” I said grabbing Frankie’s hand and leading him out the door. I heard Joe complain inside the house while Nick chuckled at his brother.

“How long can we stay out for?” Frankie asked. I shrugged.

“What time is your bedtime?” I asked.

“Nine.”

“We can stay out until 9:30,” I said. “Don’t worry about your brothers. I’ll make sure you get plenty of candy tonight.” Frankie was excited as he walked up to the house a few houses down and ran to their door.

“So, what if I wore a teddy bear costume,” Joe said. I stared at him and laughed.

“What about a teddy bear costume?” I asked.

“What would you do if I came to your doorstep wearing a teddy bear costume,” Joe said.

“I’d laugh then give you a hug,” I said. “Because you dressed as a teddy bear has to be the cutest thing ever. Joe laughed as he did a little dance in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Joe, you’re scaring the kids,” Nick said as three kids and their parents avoided Joe by walking across the street. Joe shrugged his shoulders and walked up to Frankie when he returned.

“So, Nick,” I said as Joe and Frankie walked ahead of us. “Remember that girl from earlier?” I heard Nick scoff and he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I can get you her number.”

“So, Jas,” Nick said. “When are you going to talk to your Joseph?” I turned my head from Nick and looked straight ahead of me. “You know what I’m talking about. You have a few words you need to get off your chest.”

“You were so cute when your cheeks were turning red,” I said. “You like her don’t you?” I lightly elbowed Nick as he laughed lightly.

“And I can easily tell Joe right now,” Nick said.

“Tell him what?” I asked. “I can tell him myself that you think this girl is cute. You’re dying to get to know her better aren’t you? Well tomorrow everything will change. I’ll hook it up for you Nicky.”

“One four three,” Nick said.

“Aw, I love you too Nick,” I said.

“Hey Joe,” Nick said. Joe turned around while Frankie ran up somebody’s stairs.

“Yeah?”

“You remember when you were asking me what one four three stands for?” Nick asked. I stared at Nick and my eyes bulged out. Joe kept his eyes on Frankie.

“Yes,” Joe said glancing over at Nick then back to Frankie. “Are you finally going to tell me?” Nick looked over at me and smiled. If he told Joe before I had the chance to, I will literally kill him. I wouldn’t care. Maybe I’ll start by cutting off his hair so his fans will hate him. Yes, that seems less dramatic.

“Nah,” Nick said. “Maybe Jas changed her mind.” Nick pushed me forward and walked around to where Frankie was running down one of the houses.

“You changed your mind?” Joe asked. “You’re finally going to reveal the secret behind uno dos tres?” I laughed out loud.

“You realize you just said 1 2 3 right?”

“I did?” Joe asked. “I never learned anything past three in another language. So, how was your day?”

“It was fine,” I said. “I think I met Nick’s future girlfriend.”

“Really?” Joe asked. “Who is she?”

“She’s this girl that spilled frozen yogurt on his shoes,” I replied as Joe started laughing out loud. “And she goes to my school. So I’m definitely going to try to hook them up.”

“What are you, some sort of match maker?” Joe asked.

“Something like that,” I said.

“Are you going to match me up with anyone?” Joe asked catching me completely off guard. Did I just hear that or are my ears deceiving me? Was I too late on telling him?

“You want to be matched up?” I asked.

“Sure,” Joe said. “Set me up baby.”

“With what?” I asked.

“A girl,” he said. “If you’re setting Nick up on a date, I want one too. Let me describe her. She has to be funny like me, daring, adventurous, not to mention a killer smile. She has to have beautiful eyes and if looks could seriously kill, she’d have those.”

“You want to date Barbie?” I asked.

“I described Barbie?”

“No, but that’s pretty much impossible to find a girl that fits your picky critique,” I said. “Can’t you settle for someone that actually exists?”

“But she does exist,” Joe said. “I’ve met her too. Now I just want you to work your magic. Think she could become Joe Jonas’ future girlfriend?” I felt crushed at that second. I knew I had wasted too much time. I spent my time hating Joe, yelling at him, or possibly making him think I was no longer interested in him. I wish I could blame someone else, but there was nobody to blame. I took full blame for not being up front with him right away.

“I’ll think about,” I said. I was not going to help him hook up with another girl. He could do that himself. What girl didn’t want to date Joe? He was perfect.

“Hey want to spray silly string at Nick?” Joe asked.

“Not really,” I said. I’d much rather be home in bed. Sleep is what I needed since I wrecked my brain thinking of what I could tell Joe to possibly salvage what little we had left.

“Are you tired?” Joe asked after it had been silent between the two of us for a while.

“No,” I said. I felt a yawn creeping up and I tried holding it in. Unsuccessfully, my yawn escaped and Joe laughed.

“Want me to take you home?” he asked.

“No, I can walk by myself,” I said. “But I’ll stay for Frankie. Even though he and Nick are a good ten houses ahead of us.”

“I’ll take you home Jas,” Joe said. “Seriously, I insist. You have school tomorrow anyways.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said. “It’s not like I’m staying up past my bedtime.”

“Okay, okay,” Joe said. “When did you become so snappy?”

“I’m not snappy,” I said. “I’m just tir- I fell on a tire. Yeah, that’s it.”

“Just say you’re tired and I’ll take you home. Nick and Frankie aren’t even close to us,” Joe said. “Let me take you home.”

“Why do you want to take me home so badly?” I asked. “I thought you were looking forward to spending tonight out.”

“I was looking forward to spending the night with you,” he said. “But you are obviously tired and I want to walk you home. Maybe talk some more?”

“We’re talking now,” I said.

“But it’s chilly out,” I said. “Don’t you want to talk in a warm house?”

“What is there to talk about?” I asked.

“So what do you say?” he asked.

“What do you possibly want to talk about at my house that you can’t talk about out here?” I asked.

“Uh, never mind,” Joe said.

“No, no,” I said tugging Joe’s arm. “What?”

“I wanted to talk about,” Joe coughed and it sounded like he said “buses.”

“You want to talk about buses?” I asked. “Why?”

“I meant us,” he said.

“What about us?” I asked stupidly. Joe sighed.

“Nothing,” he said. He continued walking. “Never mind.” One thing I absolutely detested was when people walked away saying ‘nothing’, ‘never mind’, or ‘everything is okay’ when it’s clearly not.

“Joe, can you please stop walking away from me,” I said walking after him. “Why do you want to talk about us anyways? I thought you wanted to be with someone else.”

“Are you crazy?” he said as he stopped walking to turn around and look at me. “Why would I want to be with anyone else?”

“But that girl you described earlier,” I said. “The one you wanted me to match you up with.” Joe laughed, and I didn’t see a reason to be laughing right now.

“I was describing you Jas. You’re the only obstacle in the way from making me happy. Don’t you know that by now?”

“Um…”

“Did I just make things even more uncomfortable between us?” Joe asked.

“No,” I said. “You actually made something easier for me.”

“Yeah? How did I manage to not ruin something between us for once?” I looked ahead of us and Nick and Frankie were gone. They were completely out of sight, leaving Joe and I all alone for once in a long while.

“Do you want to know why I’m so tired?” I asked.

“Enlighten me,” Joe said. He gestured his hand to someone’s front grass. They had a miniature brick wall lined up around their grass. We both sat down while I fidgeted with my pea coat.

“I couldn’t sleep last night because I was trying to think of what I could possibly say to you that wouldn’t seem awkward.”

“What’d you want to tell me?” Joe asked. “Come on, I won’t laugh.”

“I’m not afraid that you’ll laugh,” I said. “I know you won’t turn it down either. I was just scared to hear myself say it out loud. I mean thinking it is completely different than actually saying it out loud again.”

“You kind of lost me at turn it down,” Joe said. “Come on, you can tell me anything.”

“Did you ever find out what 1 4 3 stands for?” I asked. I looked up at Joe who had a confused look, yet he had a small smile sneaking up on his lips.

“I asked Kevin,” he said. Damn it. I didn’t find time to blackmail Kevin. “And he didn’t know.” Okay, blackmail taken back. “So I went online.” Crap. “And at first I kept getting weird things that made no sense. Then I found this link and it said three simple words.” Joe smiled as he took my hand and sandwiched it between his. “You really love me back?” I nodded my head.

“It took me a long time to realize it,” I said. “But I never really stopped loving you, even after you left. There were days when I was feeling down and I wanted to run next door and ask you to fix all my problems. Of course you weren’t there so I resorted to Luis for a while.”

“So, even after you screamed you hated me and never wanted to speak to me again, you still-”

“I never meant any of that,” I said. “I wished you would run after me every time I yelled at you. I wish you would have known I never hated you.”

“Yeah, well when it comes to relationships,” Joe said, “I’m not that good. I’m usually a sucker for pretty girls and when I fall, I fall fast. I fell for you when I first met you. That’s why I had to make you mine.”

“So, are we finally cool?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m cool,” Joe said. “I’m Joe Cool.” I laughed.

“Not exactly what I meant, but okay.”

“Hey Jas.”

“Yeah?”

“I promise I won’t screw anything up this time,” Joe said standing up and pulling me up with him. “I would never hurt you again like before. Do you believe me? It’s fine if you don’t.”

“I believe you,” I said wrapping my arms around him. Despite the freezing cold weather surrounding us, I felt warm and for once happy being back in Joe’s arms.