Your Smile Still Makes My Heart Sing

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked walking up to Joe who was sitting on one of the park's many benches.

"Take a seat Gonzo," Joe said pointing his hand towards the bench. I sat down and lowered my sunglasses. "Listen, I just want to have one long speech without any interruptions okay?" I laughed.

"A speech? I didn't know you could prepare yourself for a speech."

"Jasmina, come on."

"Okay, okay. I'll be nice. Go for it, let's see how long you can last." Joe took a deep breath and looked at me.

"Well, as I kind of blurted out earlier, I still love you, a lot." He stopped talking. I wondered if I should say anything since he said he didn't want any interruptions.

"And?"

"Well, I know you don't love me back anymore, and it's okay. I just want us to go back to the way we were; just friends since I know you probably never want to go out with me again." He stopped talking and looked down at his shoes; which were those bright neon green ones we bought together one day.

"Anyways, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting since we got back. I'm sorry I used your best friend to get you jealous, that was very low and stupid of me. She seems like a nice girl, that doesn't really deserve that."

"No, she didn't deserve that, Joseph."

"Yeah, that's why I'm apologizing." I rolled my eyes. "And these last two months have been torturous. The first week, I kept messing up like crazy at the shows. My usual quirkiness on stage was not there and I kept forgetting lyrics more than usual. That's when it hit me like a brick wall; I was horrible to you. You were the best thing that ever entered my life and I had to talk to you somehow. But I was afraid to talk to you, thinking you'd reject me, which you had a great reason to."

"So, that's why you never called?" I asked. He nodded. "Well, I probably would have ignored your calls." Joe frowned. "But, it might have been easier to face you when you got back."

"I know I should have done this a long time ago, this talk. But I really wanted to apologize in person. You truly are the best person I have ever met and I do not want to lose you as a friend." I stared at Joe. "What?"

"I never realized you had that many words in your vocabulary. Or that you could apologize. I mean no offence or anything, I'm being serious."

"Well, I can be serious too," Joe said rubbing the back of his neck, "I just prefer being funny." I laughed. "But, Jas don't tell me you didn't have any fun before the game started. I saw that smile and heard the laughing."

"Well, it was fun, I just realized that I was having fun with you and tried to make myself stop laughing."

"You couldn't, could you?" I sighed.

"No." Joe smiled lightly.

"Did you ever stop caring?" I looked at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"I don't even know," I replied honestly, "I used to wish I could push you down a flight of stairs or something. Then other days I completely forgot about you. I needed that two month break, but now that you're back, everything feels different."

"Good or bad different?" I shrugged.

"I honestly don't know anymore."

"I just want you to know that I really am going to try my hardest to prove to you I changed. Not just my words, but my actions." I looked Joe in the eye for the first time. "I want to prove to you that I still love you."

"You're going to have to try hard, I hope you know."

"I know I am. I just want to earn my respect back from you," Joe said sincerely which made me want to take him back that very second; but I didn't.

"Well, okay Joe. You do that."

"So, I think that's all I wanted to say. I mean I could probably say more, but then I'd be repeating myself."

"I think you said enough." Joe took a deep breath.

"I'm glad you came though. Does that mean deep down you still do care about what we had?"

"Joe, we barely went out for a month. And you didn't talk to me for a whole week after Luis came over the first time. Maybe this break up was a good thing?"

"You don't seriously mean that?"

"You get jealous of every guy I hang around Joseph! I mean you even get jealous of Nick, and you know me and him are best friends." Joe looked flustered.

"I'm sorry I get like that. I know I shouldn't be jealous. First I was jealous that Nick was going to get you before I had the chance, then Luis came in the picture and I knew for sure he'd go after you even if we were going out."

"Yeah, but what about Nick? You're still jealous of him," I said, "He's your brother Joe."

"I know, I know! I won't be jealous of you two anymore, I know you better than that to go out with him; especially since you and I just broke up."

"Yeah, yeah."

"So, how's school going?" Joe asked after a few minutes of silence.

"It's okay. I have all As so far."

"Really? That's great to hear."'

"Yeah, well I had to prove to my dad that I'm a good student if I wanted to keep the Mustang he gave me for my birthday."

"So that's how you got a hold of that car," Joe said, "You're really lucky."

"I know, you should have heard me scream when he gave me a key for my birthday. I was so speechless for a whole hour as I sat in the seat." Joe laughed.

"I could just imagine," Joe said. I sighed.

"I love that car more than anything. Even more than Alex Rodriguez's ass and that's a lot!" Joe laughed.

"Still guy obsessed as before I see?" I laughed.

"I'm not as bad as Mand though."

"Sure Jas, sure."

"Oh my gosh, I'm not! She looks at guys all day long and numbers them and everything. I just glance and I'm good." Joe laughed.

"What am I on her scale?"

"From 1-10, you're like a 20, no lie." Joe laughed out loud.

"Nice!"

"Yeah, don't get too excited, Kevin's a 30 or something."

"Why's it so high up?" I laughed.

"I asked the same thing and she goes, 'Have you seen his ass?'" Joe laughed.

"Hey, my butt is bigger than Kevin's. I'm offended now."

"Wow Joe, no comment." Joe stood up and turned his back to me.

"Don't tell me that's not a big booty?" he asked pointing to his behind.

"Like I just said, WOW Joe." Joe laughed as he sat down in front of me again.

"Are we actually getting along?" I laughed and realized we were.

"Well, that's a shocker."

"Well, I'm bored. Want to go on the swings like old times?"

"I guess since I have nothing better to do," I said standing up. "Race you there!" I started running towards the swings with Joe mere centimeters behind me. "Ha, beat you!"

"That's because I let you," Joe huffed as he sat on the swing.

"Don't get all emotional on me now," I said as I sat on another swing and started swinging on it.

"Me get emotional? Not happening," Joe said. I laughed.

"Oh, please. I bet you that you cried your eyes out those two months without me." Joe laughed.

"I didn't cry." I scoffed.

"Please. It's me you're talking to."

"I didn't cry!" I nodded my head.

"Yeah, okay, tell yourself that." Joe huffed as we both kept on swinging.

"I was upset, but never cried," Joe said.

"Come on, if I cried, you cried." Joe looked over at me. Oops, did I just say that?

"You cried?" he asked.

"Well, not the actual day, but the day you left. Nick and I were in his room talking and it kind of just spilled out when I was confessing how pissed off I was out you."

"I cried that day too! Well, because I saw you and Nick together in his room hugging and because you didn't say bye to me." I laughed. "What? I wanted you to at least say goodbye!"

"Well, my bad Joseph. I didn't know you get emotional."

"Well, I lost the girl I wanted and the only girl I ever need, why wouldn't I cry?" I laughed.

"Aw, you poor thing." Joe laughed lightly. "Not!"

"Ouch, that one hurt." I laughed evilly as Joe and I slowed down with our swinging. He got off the swing and stood in front of me. "Don't tell me you're going to throw me over your shoulder again."

"Why would I do that?" Joe asked.

"Well, why are you standing in front of me for?" Joe shrugged as he continued to stand in front of me.

"Want to head home now?" Joe asked. I stopped swinging completely.

"I don't care, it's boring everywhere we go," I said as I got off the swing and stood in front of Joe. "Let's go make out!" I laughed as I walked away from Joe. I heard his footsteps behind me.

"That wasn't nice." I kept on laughing.

"What wasn't nice?"

"You totally walked away from me," Joe said.

"So?" I kept on walking with Joe until he slowed his pace down. I turned around and noticed he was a good two feet behind me. "Why did you stop?" He shrugged and I rolled my eyes. "Quit being a drama queen."

"That's your job honey." I rolled my eyes again and kept on walking. Finally Joe caught up.

"Dude, want to watch the sunset on your roof?" I suggested out of nowhere.

"Sounds good," Joe said, "But why my roof?"

"Fine, my roof. It doesn't really matter." We both kept on walking and I went into my house instead. We both walked upstairs to my room and I opened my window.

"You can get to your roof from here?" I laughed.

"Duh, it's called monkey climbing skills, you have any?" I climbed out my window and stood on my balcony and climbed up on my roof. I've been doing this almost everyday since the boys left. I saw Joe on my balcony.

"Come on Jonas, I know you love climbing crap." He looked up and hoisted himself up on the roof next to me. "Atta boy." He laughed as we both stared off into the horizon. The sun was about to set and the sky looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Well, this is beautiful," Joe said gazing off into the sky, "Thanks for inviting me up here."

"Thought this would be my one nice deed of the day." Joe laughed.

"Just as long as you don't push me off the roof." I laughed.

"Me? Push you off? That's crazy talk." He looked over at me and laughed.

"Well, that' good to hear."