True Feelings

Two weeks have passed and I am still a wreck. I just can't forget the moment Gerard said it was all a mistake, it's like he used. I don't even know if he loves me. In my eyes he is a bastard and I don't want to see him ever again. No one knows about the incident that happened and I didn't want anyone to know. Never in my life I was so humiliated by anyone. The weird part is that every morning I feel sick and tired and I am so afraid that I might be pregnant that I don't even dare to take a pregnancy test. I hope I'm not pregnant though, I can't say I'm ready for it and I would only imagine Gerard's reaction. I really need help with this, but I'm afraid. Everyone was calling me and texting me, but I just always turned off my phone, some of them actually came to my place, but I didn't open the door. I hated to make them worried, but I just couldn't face them while I look so broken and with that someone started to call me. I looked at my phone and it was Gabriele. Should I answer? What the heck.

Gabriele - Ciara oh my god you actually answered!
Cia - Yeah well.
Gabriele - What the hell happened to you? We were so worried because you didn't answer calls or opened the door. We though you were kidnapped or something.
Cia - Nothing happened to me. I am really fine.
Gabriele - So why the hell you ignored us all?

I thought that I should tell her. I really need someone to talk because I can't stand keeping everything inside of me.

Cia - Does someone know that you are calling me?
Gabriele - I don't think so. I'm in my room at the moment and everyone is downstairs.
Cia - Who is everyone?
Gabriele - Uh Neymar, Leo, Anto, Cesc and Gerard.
Cia - Why is Gerard there?
Gabriele - He is worried as hell. He's the one that came to you house.
Cia - Uh whatever. I just need you to come here.
Gabriele - Okay I'll go tell everyone that you're alright.
Cia - NO!
Gabriele - What do you mean no?
Cia - Don't tell a soul that I answered just come here and don't tell anyone, I'll tell you why later.
Gabriele - Alright, I better get going I guess.
Cia - And one more thing Gabriele. Bring a pregnancy test.
Gabriele - Oh my god I'll come as fast as I can.

And with that she hung up. The quicker she comes the better. I hope they won't find out that she's coming here. I went to the bathroom to clean up a little bit because I looked like I was crying for years. I quickly washed and went to the living room to wait for her. What would I even say? I didn't got much time to think about that because I heard someone knocking on the door. I went up and opened the door then quickly being hugged by Gabriele.

Gabriele - Oh my god I miss you so much!
Cia - I miss you too Gab.

And then she whacked me on the back of my head.

Cia - What was that for?!
Gabriele - For making me worried. What the hell have you been doing?

I took her hand and dragged her to the living room so we could talk properly.

Cia - You know the night we went to a club and I said that Gerard was there.
Gabriele - I do remember that.
Cia - Well after that... we met while dancing and he quickly kissed me and I didn't fight back.

She nodded her head now curious of what happened.

Cia - Well after the kiss he carried me to a alley and we had sex.
Gabriele - Please tell me you are joking.
Cia - He kept saying how he loved me and how beautiful I was so I thought everything will be fine once again between us.
Gabriele - So what happened after?
Cia - He dressed up and told me it was all a mistake and left me there.
Gabriele - Oh my god! I can't believe he did that. That little fucker, I am so going to punch him.
Cia - No you won't. You can't cause a scene about this. You don't even know how humiliated I feel.

She hurried to hug me and I started to cry.

Cia - I am so stupid to think that he really cared about me.
Gabriele - Shh you're not stupid, he is.

We kept still for about 10 minutes, but then I asked.

Cia - You bought the test?
Gabriele - I got 3 to know for sure.
Cia - Thank you...

She gave me the tests.

Cia - I am so scared.
Gabriele - The is nothing to be scared Ciara, even if you are pregnant a baby will be a wonderful thing for you. I don't have child yet, but I can promise you that it would be amazing.

I just smiled at her and slowly walked to the bathroom. I unpacked the test and started to do it. After I finished them I didn't look at just put them on the counter and thought to myself. What if I am pregnant? What am I going to do? I will lose my job too and the most important thing is what if Gerard doesn't accept it? A lot of questions were popping up, but I knew it was time to see the results. I got up and looked at them. All of them were positive. I'm pregnant, I really am pregnant. Somehow I didn't cry, I felt a little happy that I will have child. I got out of the bathroom and Gab was standing near the door.

Gabriele - What's the result?

I quickly showed her the tests and she smiled.

Gabriele - Oh my god Ciara! Congratulation! I am so happy for you!
Cia - Weirdly I am happy for me too.

We talked a lot about pregnancy while drinking some tea.

Gabriele - So are you going to tell Gerard?
Cia - Do you think I should?
Gabriele - Of course you should, he is the father after all.
Cia - Well I hope his going to accept it.
Gabriele - I'm sure he will. Let me text Ney to ask if everyone is still there.
Cia - Should I really tell him so soon?
Gabriele - The sooner the better believe me.
Cia - If you say so.
Gabriele - Ney says that they are all there so I told him to keep them.
Cia - Did you tell I'm coming?
Gabriele - I thought it would be a great surprise.

She seemed so excited about this and I was starting to think that it's not that bad either, it's not that Gerard will deny the existence of this unborn child. I quickly changed clothes and Gab dragged to her car so we could go there as soon as possible. It wasn't a long drive, but I got time to think more about this. How will everyone react? I hope they won't think that I'm some slut or something. Gabriele was talking so much about how all of them were so worried about me, but I wasn't really listening and because of her talking we were already here. I felt so nervous now. I'm really starting to think that it's not a good idea to tell everyone. Gabriele unlocked the door and we went inside, everyone instantly looked up and they were full of shock. After a couple of seconds Leo stood up and hugged me tightly.

Leo - Don't ever dare to do this to us ever again.
Cia - I won't Leo.
Leo - I missed you so much.
Cia - I missed you too Messi.

Once he let me go I looked at everyone and they were smiling except for Gerard. He must know why I didn't keep in touch with anyone.

Cia - Gerard could I talk to you for sec?
Gerard - Umm sure.

He stood up and we went to the kitchen.

Gerard - Listen I'm sorry and I ditched you that night, but...
Cia - Now you listen Gerard. What you did to me is the most horrible thing you ever did and I can't really describe how much I want to punch you right now.
Gerard - I said I am sorry, but it really was a mistake and I shouldn't of have had sex with you, but I was drunk and I'm pretty sure you were too.
Cia - I am not here to listen to your apology Gerard.
Gerard - Then why are you here?
Cia - You got me pregnant.
Gerard - Your pregnant?
Cia - I am and I thought you should know because you are the father after all.
Gerard - Well maybe I am not the father, I bet you slept with other men.
Cia - Are you calling me a slut right now?!

I was now raising my voice now and everyone started to gather around us.

Gerard - I ain't calling you anything, I'm just saying that you probably slept with other men and now your blaming me for getting you pregnant!
Leo - Pregnant?
Cia - How fucking dare you to say that. You are the only man I have ever slept with.
Gerard - It doesn't matter anyway.
Cia - What are you saying?
Gerard - I don't want any part of that unborn child that is inside of you. You got that right?

My jaw dropped as I looked at him with shock. Anger started to come and I slapped him.

Cia - You are fucking disgusting Pique! I regret the day I met you!

And with that he just stormed off, but Leo chased him with a furious look on his face. I just looked with tears at everyone and apologized. I decided to leave so I just ran away ignoring that everyone was screaming my name.

One week later

Gabriele - Are you really doing this Cia?
Cia - Yes I am, I can't stand being here anymore.
Gabriele - Your making a mistake. You can't just move to Madrid not telling anyone but me.

I finished packing my last suitcases.

Cia - Nothing will change my mind Gab. This city has hurt me to much.
Gabriele - Please stay Ciara. You don't even know anyone there.
Cia - Cristiano and Sergio already know I'm coming so I won't be alone.
Gabriele - Please don't leave. How about everyone here.
Cia - Stop making me regret this decision Gabriele. You won't change my mind.
Gabriele - At least tell everyone else.
Cia - I can't. The more people know then there's real chance that I could stay so only you know.
Gabriele - You can't just leave us alone.
Cia - Listen. This doesn't mean anything, I promise I'll come back someday, but right now I can't stay here. Like I said there to many bad memories here.
Gabriele - What am I supposed to say to everyone else?
Cia - Just say that I''m will be fine and that I'm sorry for leaving, but I will miss them very much.

I know this was good decision. I couldn't stay here any longer. I did fell horrible for leaving everyone not telling them, but I would stay if everyone would try to stop me and I need to move out. I gotta bury my true feelings for Gerard here so I could finally move on with my life.