Renegade

Even with the country spiraling out of control, I've really only been to one other funeral in my life. My great aunt Julie passed away a few years after the bombings. We weren't close, but she always sent a card on birthdays and holidays. She was old and frail and didn't like me very much. She adored Travis though, but to be fair Travis is everyone's favourite. The only thing she liked about me was my hair. She raved about it to all her bitter and delicate friends. "You should see little Nix's hair! It's so long and RED!" She would show me off then shoo me away before I had a chance to open my mouth.

Her funeral was short and to the point. None of us wanted to be there. All her friends were sad, but not sad enough to stick around to say goodbye. They popped in, said a quick prayer, and left before the ceiling of the under construction church could collapse on their fragile heads.

I skipped out on my best friend's funeral. Pixel's parents invited me, but I decided not to show up. I was responsible for her death anyway. It was my idea to go to the tracks that night. Everybody went to the old train station to paint. The cops were on to us though since they showed up shortly after we arrived. I got out alive because Logan was keeping an eye on me and hid me before I could get caught. Pixel wasn't so lucky and was killed on the spot. I felt it was best for me to not attend her funeral.

Today's funeral is different than Julie's. The church is stunning and filled with hundreds of people with tear stained cheeks and tissues in hand. I hold onto Logan's arm, sticking as close to him as possible. Shortly after Mae gave us the news about his father a week ago, neither one of us felt like talking. He's been handling his father's death pretty well. He's been acting relatively normal, but he also wasn't very close with him. He decided to show up today out of respect, something his father never showed him.

Gabe let him take the day off to attend his father's funeral which means he reluctantly gave me the day off, too. Gabe thinks I don't need to be here since I despised the man, but I reminded him I wasn't going for the late Nolan Fierce, I was going to be there for Logan. We've been frantically searching for Hunter whom is still missing. Quela hasn't given up and is out at the crack of dawn and doesn't get back until late. We have several people checking street camera footage, hacking every building with a computer system trying to find a trace of Hunter. So far we haven't found anything worth mentioning, and slowly people are giving up.

Logan directs us to the front pew which makes me feel awkwardly uncomfortable. He lets me sit next to Mae so I wouldn't have to sit next to Aaron. He leans forward and gives me a wink. I'm have tempted to give him the finger, but not in a church. Mae grabs onto my hand trying to fight back tears and it seems like my hand is somehow giving her strength.

The service seems to go on longer than I anticipated. The reverend continues on about how we were all "blessed" to have known such a powerful and beloved man, and that he is lucky to have had all of us. I try to stop myself from gagging to be respectful to his children. Mae barely keeps it together as each of Fierce's friends gets up in front of everyone to tell stories and say how much they'll miss such a "great" man. My mouth drops to the floor when my own father gets up to speak. He doesn't seem to notice me as he is fixated on a sealed envelope clutched in his hand.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Dad says into the microphone. "I'm here today, like most of you, to honor a man filled with so much life and great leadership. He impacted my life in many ways and he confided in me and trusted me with a lot of important files, including this." He lifts the envelope. "Nolan gave this to me about nine months ago when he found out he had cancer. He told me to open this and read it today." He rips open the envelope and pulls a folded piece of paper out of it. He slowly unravels it and clears his throat.

"Hello everyone. I feel terrible I couldn't write something to say about each and every one of you, but this is something specific I have to share. As you all know, I'm quite a stubborn man and have too much pride to say things that need to be said. There are things I've been wanting to say to my dear children for quite some time, but had no way of actually telling them. Most of you know my son, Aaron. He's been in my footsteps since the beginning. He's been there through everything and I'm very much proud of him for how much progress he has made and I trust him completely. If no one has replaced me yet, I would highly recommend him as someone to think about electing to take over. He knows how to operate the system better than myself. Most of you know how capable he is and I believe he could do it." I peek over and see Aaron smile with a tear hanging in his eye.

"My daughter, Maeve, is gifted in so many ways. She works at the hospital way too much and cares about anyone who enters. She has always given one hundred and ten percent in everything she has done. Her husband, Peter, is truly a terrific match for her. Though I will never be around to meet any kids they may bring into the world, I know they will be wonderful parents."

"And lastly, my youngest, Logan. We've never seen eye to eye and though we aren't close which is mostly my fault, I've never been more proud of him than I am now. He's chosen a great life for himself and has endured so much in his lifetime thus far. He's a strong man and not afraid to say what's on his mind. He's always been open with me about what he wants and what he doesn't want. He's never chosen me to be the person he would most like to be, but that doesn't stop me from aspiring to be more like him. He believes in himself, stands up for others, and has a protective nature I wish I possessed. Phoenix Detope is," Dad trails off finally looking up and noticing I'm seated in between Logan and Mae, "lucky to have him. I believe those two will fight all odds against them and take on the world together. I love you three with all my being and I wish I could've told you all of this in person. Good luck and God bless." He folds up the paper giving me a hard stare.

He steps down heading toward the door. Another person rises and begins to say their goodbyes to Nolan. I turn around and watch Dad walk outside. I let go of Mae's hand and follow after him. I cautiously open the door to the church and peer outside. Dad paces back and forth on the sidewalk shaking his head. I walk up behind him and gently place my hand on his shoulder. He turns around quickly startling me with how much fury he holds within his eyes.

"How long?" He hisses as I jump away from him.

"How long what?" I hear my voice shake.

"How long have you been a traitor, Phoenix?" He growls in a whisper.

"I'm not sure what you're --"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. Nolan told me all about Logan and how he decided he would let him be to make his own decisions, figured he would get caught eventually. He also mentioned that to get back at him, Logan was intimate with the arsonist." He steps closer to me. "So how long were you betraying me?" I swallow hard.

"Almost three years." I hesitate as it spills out of my mouth. His face grower redder.

"Three years you went behind my back and put knives in it? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Dad, I--" He raises his hand and strikes my face.

"Don't ever call me that again. I am not your father and you are not my daughter." I hold my stinging cheek. "If I ever see you near MY house or MY family again, I will have you arrested and put to death, do you understand me?" He steps closer to me as he screams in my face. I nod trying to stop tears from leaving my eyes. He backs away slowly. "Piece of shit." He spits on the ground in front of me pounding his feet in the sidewalk as he storms off.

My legs give out on me as I collapse to the ground. I cover my mouth with my hand as the tears start flowing down my face. Even in death, he still managed to do damage to me. He knew to tell my dad about Logan, he knew to give him that envelope and to mention me in the contents. He had it planned out to make him sound like he was saying wonderful and meaningful things, but in actuality it was about taking me down with him. My dad didn't care about Nolan being a hypocrite because he figured his kids would never do something like that to him.

I remain on the pavement for the remainder of the funeral. I attempt to clean my face up from my tears as the church doors open and floods of people start exiting. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up at Mae and Logan. Mae crouches down next to me examining my face and seeing signs of crying. She wraps her arms around me giving me a tight hug making me wonder if the hug is for me or for her. She whispers in my ear asking if I'm okay, but I don't answer because I'm not so sure.

Logan helps both of us up off the ground, but he keeps a hand on me since I almost collapse again. He gives me a suspicious and concerned look, but doesn't instigate in front of Mae. My phone goes off in my dress pocket which appears to be a text from Lia asking me to come pick up Quela from the bar. Logan peeks at the message and offers to go with me, but I tell him to stay with his family for today. Mae grabs his hand and he agrees to stay. He hands me his keys and gives me a gentle kiss. I take off on my own still feeling the pain across my face from my father's hand.

Like many traitors, Lia got a part time job. She cut down her time with training to rejoin society and try to earn a little extra cash. She works at a local bar and surprisingly makes excellent drinks. She had to take off for a few days to recover from her injuries she received on her last job and I think today is her first day back.

I enter the slightly crowded bar and weave through the tipsy people. I walk up to the bar and give Lia a smile. She nods toward Quela whom is spinning a shot glass over and over. Seated next to her is Drax taking a shot. I shake my head walking toward them. I snatch both of their shot glasses which catches their attention quickly.

"What the hell?" Quela barks spinning around in her seat only to see me standing before her.

"What the hell is right. What do you think you're doing?" I look between the two of them.

"Quela was upset so I took her out for a drink." Drax slurs. I scowl at him, pulling him away from Quela to speak with him alone. "What's your damage, Detope?"

"My damage is you." I hiss. "This is not what she needs right now."

"And how do you know what she needs?" He growls back. "She really NEEDED a friend today and you were no where to be found. Where were you anyway, Detope?" His eyes scan over me. "Perhaps a fancy lunch with your boyfriend followed by an afternoon of fucking until the bed breaks?" I shove him.

"Where I was and what I was doing is none of your fucking business."

I reach over and latch onto Quela. She doesn't fight me as I lead her away from Drax. She fumbles over her feet on our way to the car. I wrap her arm around the back of my neck and I assist her the rest of the way. I get her situated in the passenger's seat when Drax runs up behind me ready to start something. I slam the door shut keeping Quela trapped in the car.

"What do you see in him, anyway? What does he have that I don't have?" I fold my arms across my chest.

"A dick." I stomp away to the driver's side.

I speed off in a hurry leaving Drax alone on the sidewalk.