Inside the Lie

The cell was very quiet, very cold, and very oppressive as Andy sat alone for days, waiting to hear news. Lionel had offered himself up as the guard for Austin while he was in the hospital to prevent him escaping. Andy wondered if Lionel would help him escape.

Without the guard's presence in the prison, there were more fights, the atmosphere felt less safe, and Andy didn't recieve any news until his cell doors opened, and Austin himself walked back through them. He looked half-dead with exhaustion and the dark bruising around his neck was a painful reminder. So when Andy threw his arms round him in a tight, relieved hug, the other man must've been tired because he actually chuckled and patted Andy's back gently.

"Are you ok?" Austin just swallowed. His eyelids were heavy with years worth of tears that hadn't been cried, and the back-breaking guilt that could only be felt by a good man who had killed. Andy's lip shook with all the pent up emotions from the previous days. Austin was shocked when Andy stepped back, suddenly angry.

"Don't you ever do anything like that ever again! NOT EVER!! Do you hear me?! I swear if- if you ever do that again I....just never again, ever-" Austin hugged Andy against his chest so tightly it was almost painful. Andy swallowed the tears that hadn't yet escaped, and fought the shuddering breaths that threatened to tip him over the edge again.

"Never." His voice was muffled and he felt Austin smile against his head.

"I mean it!" Austin chuckled and released him just enough for him to look at him sternly.

"Ok."

"Promise me."

"I herby swear that I will never attempt suicide while you're here again-"

"Austin! I'm not pissing around!" Austin sighed and held Andy's head as he spoke, slightly exaggerating their eye contact so that Andy wouldn't be able to argue he was lying.

"I promise I won't try to kill myself again. Ok?"

"Ok...ok." He nodded and Austin smiled sadly.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Oh...well....if it was gonna be my last....I wanted it to be you." Andy was so shocked it made Austin smile.

"Man, you don't speak much but when you do...." Austin laughed quietly.

"Yeah, well...blame yourself for that." Andy smiled. It masked the pain. Austin's did the same.

"I wish I'd known you another way." Andy mumbled that night when they lied together in Austin's bunk. The older man sighed.

"Me too."

"Can you really remember what it felt like not to feel like this?" Austin shook his head.

"No. This has been the past seven years of my life....I can't...." He trailed off and shook his head, pressing a kiss to Andy's neck.

"What did you do, Andy?" Andy looked at Austin and sighed.

"Nothing really....I was just...really, really dumb. I got involved with a really...manipulative guy. I ended up running packages for him. I didn't even question it, think about it...until I got caught. He got away. I told them and my lawyer who he was, he used a fake name, fake everything. For a year. It looked like I did everything, even my lawyer couldn't get me out of it. He managed to get my sentence down to a year though - and let me tell you, that's a damn miracle compared to what I was originally given." Austin nodded.

"So who was this guy?"

"Don't know...I wasn't...I don't know...I wasn't even that into him, but I thought I could trust him. I thought he was nice. So I got charged, my family publicly disowned me to avoid scandal....and here I am."

"You have a thing for bad boys, don't you?" Andy chuckled.

"You're not like him." Austin nodded, unconvinced. Andy was too exhausted to argue the matter.

"So...your family publicly disowned you...to avoid scandal? Are your family famous or something?" Andy cringed.

"You can't tell anyone."

"Who the hell do I talk to in here?" Andy laughed.

"Ok, fair point. Yeah...they sort of own a few pretty big businesses..and my mum's an actress. So....yeah...they didn't want to be associated with me anymore. But they told me before I got brought in that they wouldn't actually abandon me, it's just for the press." Austin nodded.

"Wow....that's pretty intense."

"Yeah....I guess. Not compared to your story, though."

"I don't mean what you did...I mean having your whole life in the public eye." Andy rolled his eyes and nodded.

"I've always hated it." Austin closed his eyes.

"Austin?"

"Mm?"

"I want you to fire your lawyer." Austin's eyes flew open.

"What?"

"Don't get mad....but your lawyer is a state assigned one, right?" Austin nodded, and Andy cringed internally at the irritation behind his eyes.

"Well...I think my lawyer would be able to help you out, he's the best-" He stopped talking when Austin abruptly sat up, letting go of Andy's hand and waist.

"I'm not having you throwing your parents money at my problems."

"It's not like that, that's not what I meant-"

"Really?"

"Oh just shut up!! I just don't want you to get executed for this-"

"I looked after myself and my sister for as long as I could remember. I always loathed the people who got whatever they wanted and did whatever they wanted just because they knew mummy and daddy would pay for their mistakes-"

"Don't insult me. I've always refused my parents help with things. But a lawyer is different-"

"Anyway, I can't owe your family if your lawyer gets me out of it. I can't. I've always made sure to never get into debt over anything-"

"You wouldn't owe us anything-"

"And I really, really don't accept charity."

"For fuck's sake! It's not charity-"

"I'm not continuing this conversation." The firm line of Austin's lips, his clenched jaw and pulsing temple held no room for arguments and Andy just shook his head at him and jumped down to his own bunk, missing the warmth Austin's body brought him.