But All My Love I Did Devote
Graduation
It was finally Graduation day. We had to go to the dress rehearsal the day before, which lasted three hours once all the seniors figured out where they were going. I was in Laine’s room with her and Eva; we were all getting ready at the same time. I had hair duty, Eva had makeup, and Laine was making sure Jason was getting ready and wasn’t waiting till the last second.
Hair duty means that I had to do all three of our hair. Eva followed after me and did the makeup and we tried to calm Laine down, but that was really no use. We were almost done; Eva was just finishing Laine’s makeup, so I quietly excused myself to “go to the bathroom” but really went to Jason’s room. I knocked lightly and waited for him to open the door. It didn’t take long since he figured it wasn’t Laine with her loud voice and she wasn’t banging on the door to try to get him to let her in.
He let me in and quietly closed the door behind him before making his way to the other side of his room to get his tie. He had found a plain white one that he liked and got it to surprise everyone, except me of course. But he admitted that he didn’t know how to tie a tie, so I attempted to teach him with one of mine, except it would have taken more than one day for him to get it right, so I offered to help him with it. He held it up and I took it and began to tie it around his neck. It’s always harder to do it on someone else, but I managed.
“How’s Laine?”
“She’s freaking out, but Eva’s doing her hair, so she snapped out of it temporarily ‘cause Eva would slap her if she didn’t. She’s just nervous.”
Jason nodded, and I straightened his tie and collar and directed him over to the mirror. He just looked at the two reflections, his and mine, and stayed silent for a minute.
“Are you sure it looks okay? Or would a black one look better? I knew I should have gotten a black one,” he asked quickly, not giving me a chance to answer.
I wanted to tell him he looked amazing, better than almost any guy I’d ever seen dressed up like he was. But I couldn’t just do that now. Not right before we graduated. Well, I guess I could, but I chickened out, figuring it wasn’t the best time to release my every thought.
I made him turn toward me and looked him dead in the eyes.
“You look great. I’m sure black would look just as good as the white one does, but you have to admit, the white one does stand out. But, since I had a feeling you were going to say that,” I paused and turned away to grab my purse from his desk before I continued, “I brought a black one.”
He smiled and pulled me into a gentle hug.
I tied the black tie around his neck and hid the white one with it so he could see which one he liked better. He looked like he was debating with himself as he looked in the mirror, tilting his head from side to side and he looked at each tie.
“I don’t know! I feel like such a…never mind. I’m not going to say anything that will offend you or my sister or anyone else. So, which one do you think?” he asked quickly, turning to me.
“Honestly? Either,” I said and he sighed. I know I wasn’t being very helpful, but both ties looked good. “Which one do you like better?”
“I should just go with the first one, shouldn’t I? Your first instinct is usually the right one. So, the white one,” Jason smiled, finally making a decision. “Man, I have never taken that long to decide on something as small as a tie. Of course I don’t usually wear ties, so that could be part of it. Thank you so much!”
I was pulled into another warm, gentle hug. And I really wanted to be more than just friends with the guy I consider my best friend. And I felt slightly depressed and disappointed knowing that that would most likely never happen. How could my best dude friend like me as anything more than a friend?
We left his room and after two hours of getting ready, we were all finally done, all dressed with caps and gowns in hand and Grandma, who had returned from visiting her friend three days ago, was waiting with Judy and Drew.
We were downstairs with them, Judy and Grandma both taking pictures of us before we graduated and we all knew we’d have to go through the same thing afterwards as well.
Three hours later, I was sitting at a table with all the guys and Laine and Eva and we were all going to stay in touch (if that was possible) with the guys in the band since they were most likely going on tour sometime soon and everything. They’re going to make it big, no question about it. I was really going to miss them and this whole year, even with all the drama involved in such a small amount of time.
I felt a light poke on my right arm and heard laughter coming from my left side. I looked over to my right and Jason smiled back happily. When I looked to my left, I saw Buddy sitting in the chair next to me and he was talking to Mike, Garrett and Dan loudly. Laine was across the table from me, Eva sitting next to her, both chatting happily. I couldn’t help but feel sad at the thought that I could lose touch with these people forever. Then I decided that I couldn’t let that happen, no matter what was to come in the future; I couldn’t lose touch with these amazing people.
My feet and head were both hurting and the school was too warm, so I was glad to get out into the crisp night air.
So many thoughts were going through my head, it was hard to think. Was it coincidence that Jason and I matched and that we helped each other pick out dress clothes for this night? Was it a coincidence that I was seated between Buddy and Jason the whole night? And was it a coincidence that I just happened to have realized that I have feelings for both of them? I don’t know, but I do know that they’re both amazing guys, and I love them both in different ways, for different reasons.
Jason had even asked me to dance. And he had sworn that he wouldn’t dance, no matter what. So, we slow danced to Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. I love that song and had a feeling that it took on new meaning with that dance with Jason.
Laine walked up beside me and put an arm around my waist, Eva came up on the other side and did the same and I hooked my arms around both of them. They both lightly rested their heads on top of my own and I knew they understood without words. Those are the kind of friends I’ve been in search of for so long. And I’ve finally found them.
Hair duty means that I had to do all three of our hair. Eva followed after me and did the makeup and we tried to calm Laine down, but that was really no use. We were almost done; Eva was just finishing Laine’s makeup, so I quietly excused myself to “go to the bathroom” but really went to Jason’s room. I knocked lightly and waited for him to open the door. It didn’t take long since he figured it wasn’t Laine with her loud voice and she wasn’t banging on the door to try to get him to let her in.
He let me in and quietly closed the door behind him before making his way to the other side of his room to get his tie. He had found a plain white one that he liked and got it to surprise everyone, except me of course. But he admitted that he didn’t know how to tie a tie, so I attempted to teach him with one of mine, except it would have taken more than one day for him to get it right, so I offered to help him with it. He held it up and I took it and began to tie it around his neck. It’s always harder to do it on someone else, but I managed.
“How’s Laine?”
“She’s freaking out, but Eva’s doing her hair, so she snapped out of it temporarily ‘cause Eva would slap her if she didn’t. She’s just nervous.”
Jason nodded, and I straightened his tie and collar and directed him over to the mirror. He just looked at the two reflections, his and mine, and stayed silent for a minute.
“Are you sure it looks okay? Or would a black one look better? I knew I should have gotten a black one,” he asked quickly, not giving me a chance to answer.
I wanted to tell him he looked amazing, better than almost any guy I’d ever seen dressed up like he was. But I couldn’t just do that now. Not right before we graduated. Well, I guess I could, but I chickened out, figuring it wasn’t the best time to release my every thought.
I made him turn toward me and looked him dead in the eyes.
“You look great. I’m sure black would look just as good as the white one does, but you have to admit, the white one does stand out. But, since I had a feeling you were going to say that,” I paused and turned away to grab my purse from his desk before I continued, “I brought a black one.”
He smiled and pulled me into a gentle hug.
I tied the black tie around his neck and hid the white one with it so he could see which one he liked better. He looked like he was debating with himself as he looked in the mirror, tilting his head from side to side and he looked at each tie.
“I don’t know! I feel like such a…never mind. I’m not going to say anything that will offend you or my sister or anyone else. So, which one do you think?” he asked quickly, turning to me.
“Honestly? Either,” I said and he sighed. I know I wasn’t being very helpful, but both ties looked good. “Which one do you like better?”
“I should just go with the first one, shouldn’t I? Your first instinct is usually the right one. So, the white one,” Jason smiled, finally making a decision. “Man, I have never taken that long to decide on something as small as a tie. Of course I don’t usually wear ties, so that could be part of it. Thank you so much!”
I was pulled into another warm, gentle hug. And I really wanted to be more than just friends with the guy I consider my best friend. And I felt slightly depressed and disappointed knowing that that would most likely never happen. How could my best dude friend like me as anything more than a friend?
We left his room and after two hours of getting ready, we were all finally done, all dressed with caps and gowns in hand and Grandma, who had returned from visiting her friend three days ago, was waiting with Judy and Drew.
We were downstairs with them, Judy and Grandma both taking pictures of us before we graduated and we all knew we’d have to go through the same thing afterwards as well.
Three hours later, I was sitting at a table with all the guys and Laine and Eva and we were all going to stay in touch (if that was possible) with the guys in the band since they were most likely going on tour sometime soon and everything. They’re going to make it big, no question about it. I was really going to miss them and this whole year, even with all the drama involved in such a small amount of time.
I felt a light poke on my right arm and heard laughter coming from my left side. I looked over to my right and Jason smiled back happily. When I looked to my left, I saw Buddy sitting in the chair next to me and he was talking to Mike, Garrett and Dan loudly. Laine was across the table from me, Eva sitting next to her, both chatting happily. I couldn’t help but feel sad at the thought that I could lose touch with these people forever. Then I decided that I couldn’t let that happen, no matter what was to come in the future; I couldn’t lose touch with these amazing people.
My feet and head were both hurting and the school was too warm, so I was glad to get out into the crisp night air.
So many thoughts were going through my head, it was hard to think. Was it coincidence that Jason and I matched and that we helped each other pick out dress clothes for this night? Was it a coincidence that I was seated between Buddy and Jason the whole night? And was it a coincidence that I just happened to have realized that I have feelings for both of them? I don’t know, but I do know that they’re both amazing guys, and I love them both in different ways, for different reasons.
Jason had even asked me to dance. And he had sworn that he wouldn’t dance, no matter what. So, we slow danced to Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. I love that song and had a feeling that it took on new meaning with that dance with Jason.
Laine walked up beside me and put an arm around my waist, Eva came up on the other side and did the same and I hooked my arms around both of them. They both lightly rested their heads on top of my own and I knew they understood without words. Those are the kind of friends I’ve been in search of for so long. And I’ve finally found them.