A Shadow Tilts Its Head at Me
Spirits in the Dark are Waiting
All Time Low was a month into their fall tour with The Maine, PVRIS, and Pierce The Veil, and Jack was stoked at how well the shows had been going. Well, for the most part, they were going well. Read as: they'd been going well until about a week before, give or take.
The Monday before, Alex had started acting weirdly down. He'd gotten something in the mail at the hotel they'd been staying at, and he'd immediately withdrawn to his room. Everyone had brushed it off, but then Alex had randomly burst into tears during Dear Maria at the show that night.
After that, everything had seemed to go downhill. Alex barely spoke to anyone, and he'd start crying at the most random times. It was so uncharacteristic of him, and Jack was willing to bet that it had something to do with that letter he'd gotten in the mail.
That night, Alex was taking his first shower in the past week. He was in the venue, and everyone else was God-knows-where. Jack, alone on the bus and desperate to learn what was wrong with his best friend, took a shot in the dark and rummaged through Alex's bunk until he found the envelope that he was looking for.
After sweeping the area with his eyes to make sure nobody was there, Jack pulled out the paper that was in the envelope. He unfolded it and scanned the writing with his eyes.
When Jack was done reading it, he smacked a hand over his mouth and felt tears sting behind his eyes. He took the letter, sprinting toward the venue and Alex.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, after entering the venue bathroom and assessing that Alex was the only occupant.
Alex, shocked, rushed to cover his junk. However, upon seeing that it was only Jack, he relaxed. He started to ask his best friend what the hell he was talking about, but he was cut off when he noticed the letter in his hands and the tears streaming down his red cheeks.
When Alex only stared at him like a deer in the headlights, Jack let out a strangled, ugly sob and fell to his knees.
"It's not fucking fair, Lex," he choked, anger and sadness mixing in his voice. "You're so good to everyone. You don't deserve this. What the fuck did you ever do to deserve this?!"
Alex found himself kneeling down next to Jack and pulling him in for a hug. In that moment, it didn't matter that Alex was soaked and Jack was fully dressed, because this was easily the worst moment of both of their lives. Alex found himself crying as well, but it was nothing compared to Jack's loud, angry sobs, which were quickly turning into screams of pain and frustration.
"Shh, Jacky, don't cry. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I was so scared. I don't ever want you to feel this way."
"I love you, Alex," Jack sobbed. "I'm so in love with you, and I never told you for the same reason that you didn't tell me about this. I don't ever want you to leave me."
"God, I've wanted you to say that for so long," Alex said, pulling Jack in even tighter. "I love you, too, but you know that I have no choice."
"When are you gonna tell the others?"
There wasn't much time left, so, with Jack by his side, Alex decided it was time to tell them. He sat down every band and crew on the tour down on the stage of the venue and faced them.
Alex played nervously with his fingers and the hem of his shirt, switching his flickering gaze from Lynn to John to Jaime to Rian.
"I have something to tell you guys," he said, feeling tears already building up behind his eyes. He felt them spill over as he choked out the next thing he said. "This is the hardest fucking thing that I've had to do in my life, so please be patient. Fuck, just give me a minute."
Alex took in a shaky breath and felt Jack give his hand a reassuring squeeze. Pat and Zack shared a confused look, and Vinny and Brian looked downright scared. Everyone else looked different levels of concerned. John looked like he was ready to just give Alex a huge bear-hug. Finally, Alex was ready to spit it out.
"I've been drafted."
-------
The rest of October was hell as Alex packed up to go to Afghanistan. The rest of the tour had been cancelled, and Alex had been spending as much time as possible with his band and his family. Even his sisters flew over for a week to see him.
Finally, on October 29th, Alex said goodbye to his family and friends and left America for what could be the last time.
-------
Alex cried when, almost two months later, the newest president of the United States called off the war in Afghanistan in a statement saying that all of the people who were drafted could go home to their families. He said that America should not be fighting a war if there was such a low approval rating that they needed to draft people again.
He could go home, and he could see his family and friends. All Time Low could finish their tour or record a new album. He could kiss Jack and tell him how much he loved him. Hell, he could marry Jack if he wanted to. What could possibly stop him.
With that thought, Alex got on his flight back to Baltimore. He was greeted by friends and family with open arms and happy tears, and, the very next day, he was on his way into the city to find the perfect engagement ring for Jack. He knew that they'd never even officially dated or anything, but the one good thing he'd taken from being in the front lines was that he needed to start living for the moment. He just hoped that Jack would agree.
The Monday before, Alex had started acting weirdly down. He'd gotten something in the mail at the hotel they'd been staying at, and he'd immediately withdrawn to his room. Everyone had brushed it off, but then Alex had randomly burst into tears during Dear Maria at the show that night.
After that, everything had seemed to go downhill. Alex barely spoke to anyone, and he'd start crying at the most random times. It was so uncharacteristic of him, and Jack was willing to bet that it had something to do with that letter he'd gotten in the mail.
That night, Alex was taking his first shower in the past week. He was in the venue, and everyone else was God-knows-where. Jack, alone on the bus and desperate to learn what was wrong with his best friend, took a shot in the dark and rummaged through Alex's bunk until he found the envelope that he was looking for.
After sweeping the area with his eyes to make sure nobody was there, Jack pulled out the paper that was in the envelope. He unfolded it and scanned the writing with his eyes.
When Jack was done reading it, he smacked a hand over his mouth and felt tears sting behind his eyes. He took the letter, sprinting toward the venue and Alex.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, after entering the venue bathroom and assessing that Alex was the only occupant.
Alex, shocked, rushed to cover his junk. However, upon seeing that it was only Jack, he relaxed. He started to ask his best friend what the hell he was talking about, but he was cut off when he noticed the letter in his hands and the tears streaming down his red cheeks.
When Alex only stared at him like a deer in the headlights, Jack let out a strangled, ugly sob and fell to his knees.
"It's not fucking fair, Lex," he choked, anger and sadness mixing in his voice. "You're so good to everyone. You don't deserve this. What the fuck did you ever do to deserve this?!"
Alex found himself kneeling down next to Jack and pulling him in for a hug. In that moment, it didn't matter that Alex was soaked and Jack was fully dressed, because this was easily the worst moment of both of their lives. Alex found himself crying as well, but it was nothing compared to Jack's loud, angry sobs, which were quickly turning into screams of pain and frustration.
"Shh, Jacky, don't cry. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I was so scared. I don't ever want you to feel this way."
"I love you, Alex," Jack sobbed. "I'm so in love with you, and I never told you for the same reason that you didn't tell me about this. I don't ever want you to leave me."
"God, I've wanted you to say that for so long," Alex said, pulling Jack in even tighter. "I love you, too, but you know that I have no choice."
"When are you gonna tell the others?"
There wasn't much time left, so, with Jack by his side, Alex decided it was time to tell them. He sat down every band and crew on the tour down on the stage of the venue and faced them.
Alex played nervously with his fingers and the hem of his shirt, switching his flickering gaze from Lynn to John to Jaime to Rian.
"I have something to tell you guys," he said, feeling tears already building up behind his eyes. He felt them spill over as he choked out the next thing he said. "This is the hardest fucking thing that I've had to do in my life, so please be patient. Fuck, just give me a minute."
Alex took in a shaky breath and felt Jack give his hand a reassuring squeeze. Pat and Zack shared a confused look, and Vinny and Brian looked downright scared. Everyone else looked different levels of concerned. John looked like he was ready to just give Alex a huge bear-hug. Finally, Alex was ready to spit it out.
"I've been drafted."
-------
The rest of October was hell as Alex packed up to go to Afghanistan. The rest of the tour had been cancelled, and Alex had been spending as much time as possible with his band and his family. Even his sisters flew over for a week to see him.
Finally, on October 29th, Alex said goodbye to his family and friends and left America for what could be the last time.
-------
Alex cried when, almost two months later, the newest president of the United States called off the war in Afghanistan in a statement saying that all of the people who were drafted could go home to their families. He said that America should not be fighting a war if there was such a low approval rating that they needed to draft people again.
He could go home, and he could see his family and friends. All Time Low could finish their tour or record a new album. He could kiss Jack and tell him how much he loved him. Hell, he could marry Jack if he wanted to. What could possibly stop him.
With that thought, Alex got on his flight back to Baltimore. He was greeted by friends and family with open arms and happy tears, and, the very next day, he was on his way into the city to find the perfect engagement ring for Jack. He knew that they'd never even officially dated or anything, but the one good thing he'd taken from being in the front lines was that he needed to start living for the moment. He just hoped that Jack would agree.