As Planned

I never thought this was the way I would end up in Japan. I thought it would be after high school. My friends and I have been saving money for about two years so we could spend a month in Japan as a treat for finishing school before we started getting ready for collage. But things never turn out as planned, do they? Things would be so different if they did. Sometimes, just sometimes I let myself wonder and I let myself dream about what could of happened, what should of happened, and the what ifs of life. But that doesn`t make anything better, now does it? No, that just tends to make things worse.

My life has been nothing but a roller coaster since I was six years old. That`s the year my dad died. He was in a car crash caused by a drunk driver. I haven`t been very fond of cars since. I won`t get in one unless I have to. But a week before my seventh birthday things started looking up. Mom found my dads trust funds and all these bank accounts he had. We didn`t have to struggle for money anymore after that. I met my best friend Alex. And then when I was nine I met Kim and her twin sister Emily. The four of us have been inseparable since that day.

We`ve always tried to look out for one another, even if one of us got angry or possibly hurt because of it. The four of us have done so much together and always tried to be strong for one another. We`ve even gone so far as to attend funerals together and sit away from everyone else, all but isolating ourselves from the others at the funeral if that`s what one of the girls wanted or needed. We learned to respect each others wishes despite the situation around us.

Now that I look back on it, those three girls have made the biggest impact on my life. I don`t think I would of become the person I am today if it weren`t for my friends. We all have impacted each other in some way. Far bigger than I could of ever imagined. And despite everything Iv`e been through, they`ve been there. But unfortunately they won`t be this time. This time I`ll only have my mother and my aunt for support. But at least that`s someone. I just wish I had the friends I grew up with, you know?

"Sweetheart? Are you ready to go?"

I looked up from the floor to see my aunt Lauren standing in the doorway of what was once my bedroom. "Ready as I`ll ever be," I replied as I stood up from the bare mattress that I used to sleep on every night.

"Don`t worry. I`m sure everything will be fine," aunt Lauren said with a small smile. She knew how hard this move was for me and how much I dreaded leaving my friends behind. She may of been my Aunt, and in her thirties, but she was more like an older sister than anything.

"Somehow I don`t believe that," I breathed as I grabbed my messenger bag off the bed and walked over to her.

She gave me a sympathetic smile and nodded. "I`ll meet you down stairs."

nodded and watched her walk down the hall and reach the stairs before turning my attention back to my old room. It looked so different than it used to. The once poster and picture covered dark blue walls were now bare, as were the book shelves going down half the wall next to the small window. I remember trying to climb out that window more than a few times over the years.

The canopy bed I slept in for so long was now nothing but a mattress and bare steal rods for the canopy drapes. Almost every sleep over the four of us girls somehow ended up curled up in that bed. The only thing that hadn`t changed about this room is the floor. The once beautiful hard wood was still stained with drinks, the main one being coffee, and various colors of nail polish. So many sleep overs happen in this room, I couldn`t even count them if I tried.

I sighed as I took once last glance around the room and turned the light off for the last time and headed down stairs where aunt Lauren was waiting. She gave me a gentle pat on the back and kissed my cheek. That was always her way of reassuring me. I gave her a little smile in return and walked out of the house with her. As she locked the door I glared at her car.

"Sorry, Sweetheart. I know how much you hate them. But it`s the only way we can get to the airport," aunt Lauren apologized when she saw me glaring. "But I hear you can walk just about everywhere in Japan."

I couldn`t help it, I laughed. She`s always had a way of making me laugh. My aunt gave me a grin and walked to the car while I slowly followed. When I got to it I took a deep breath and reached for the door, slowly pulling it open. I threw my bag on the dashboard and bit at my bottom lip before I got inside and shut the door. I buckled up and squeezed my eyes shut as I heard the engine start. I only opened my eyes again when aunt Lauren patted my hand. And, despite being tense the whole time, I watched the scenery pass by as she drove.

As we got closer to the airport the deeper my frown became. After today I wouldn`t be seeing the ocean everyday. I wouldn`t be going to the beach. No more going to roller durby races. No more sleep overs with my friends. No more randomly calling one of the girls at midnight because one of us couldn`t sleep. No more movie nights with my aunt. No more anything I once held dear. All because I`m finally going to the one place Iv`e wanted to go since I was fifteen. Things really don`t go as planned.

After we got to the airport we had to wait thirty minutes for our flight. Aunt Lauren will be staying for a week in Japan while I get settled in. I`m really thankful she`s going. If it weren`t for her I`d be on this long flight be myself since mom is already in Japan getting things settled for us to live there.

"Are you excited at all?" My aunt asked after we boarded the plane and found our seats.

"Kind of," I answered honestly. "I just wish I was doing this with the girls."

"Maybe they can come visit after school ends," She suggested. "You guys were saving up the money anyway. It`ll be a good excuse to still come."

I nodded, "I guess. But I don`t know what I`ll be like by then."

"Six months isn`t going to change you that much," She argued.

"It will if this treatment doesn`t work," I retorted, causing her to frown.

"You really don`t think it will work, do you?" She questioned softly.

"Not really," I replied.

Aunt Lauren nodded slowly, "I understand. But even if this doesn`t work I`m sure we`ll figure something out. I mean, there has to be something out there that works."

I simply nodded at her words, not wanting to hear anymore. After being told so many times by doctors about a 'miracle cure' that never works Iv`e just grown tired of it all. Iv`e tried countless treatments and nothing really works. I mean sure, there are one that help manage it but nothing permanently works to fight against the disease waging a war inside my body.

Treatments are actually the reason I`m moving to Japan. Some doctor in Tokyo has supposedly found some cure for what I have. I doubt it will work. But hey, at least I`ll die in the one place Iv`e always wanted to be. Oh! I haven`t properly introduced myself, have I? My name is Amelia Monroe. I`m seventeen years old and I have cancer.