As Planned

I spent two weeks in the hospital throwing up blood and stomach acid and being poked and prodded with needles. It was a miserable two weeks to say the least. When I was finally able to go home I mostly stayed in bed. I was completely and utterly exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. So I did. Mom and aunt Sarah let me sleep as much as possible. For almost a week I was barely away for five hours before passing out. I knew it was simply side affects but it still scared me.

When I really think about it, I haven`t been this scared in a long time. Probably not since I was first diagnosed with cancer. I wasn`t even scared about moving to Japan. No, by then I had accepted my fate: I was going to die before my eighteenth birthday. But then I met my new friends and suddenly my fate wasn`t acceptable anymore. I didn`t want to die and leave more people to mourn for me. So I hoped and even prayed for my new treatment to work. And for a short time it did and I was becoming happy again. I was starting to accept my new fate: life. And then that second shoe dropped. I should of known it would. It always does. But I let myself be ignorant to it. I never should of.

I visited the hospital again today. My doctor assured me that not only does he have another treatment for me to try but it will work. I`m not going to let myself get excited about it this time. This time I`m not going to disillusion myself into thinking this treatment will work and I`ll live. Iv`e decided to accept my real fate again. I`m going to die and there is nothing medicine or science can do but prolong my life for a few weeks or possibly months. I`d like to hold on until my birthday and until the cherry blossoms bloom but I doubt I`ll last that long. I`m growing weaker by the day and unless this new treatment has an energy boost I don`t know what I`ll do. I`d rather not spend the rest of my short life laying in a bed waiting to die.

So tomorrow, if I`m strong enough, I`ll start school back up. Neela and Twinkie have been kind enough to bring me papers and notes so I didn`t miss any school work. But all their work is for naught. I doubt I`ll last long enough to graduate.

"Knock, knock."

I half turned away from my window to look at my door just in time to see Neela walk into my room. She was carrying a small stack of papers. I did my best to smile at her and fully turned around and sat so I was facing her.

"How are you feeling today?" She asked.

I shrugged, "About the same. I don`t have to struggle to get up today though."

"That`s good!"

"I suppose."

"I think it is," Neela murmured as she sat down next to me. "Has Morimoto tried talking to you?"

"No. Why do you ask?" I questioned.

"Because he`s been acting strange." She sighed and began to pick at my comforter, "Ever since you collapsed he hasn`t been himself. He won`t talk to Twinkie, Earl or Reiko. He barely talks to me and when he does he`s always very harsh and rude. If it wasn`t for school I don`t think he`d leave Takashi`s side."

"That is strange." I pursed my lips and furrowed my brows in thought. What reason could he possibly have for shutting everyone but Takashi out? And then it hit me. "Do you think it has something to do with the Yakuza?"

"Yakuza?" Neela sputtered. "Why would they be involved?"

I scoffed, "You don`t have to try and fool me, Neela. I know who Takashi`s father is and I know Morimoto will eventually have ties with them as well. You don`t have to try and hide it."

"Oh," She breathed. "When did you find out?"

"When Morimoto grabbed my wrist and left a bruise. Twinkie and Earl were more than happy to explain his future ties," I chuckled humorlessly. "When I think back on it, they probably told me so I`d break up with him. And I really should of. It would of saved me a lot of pain and frustration."

"I`m so sorry, Amelia."

"What ever for?"

"I should of warned you about Morimoto," Neela whispered. "I knew he had a bit of a temper but when he met you he calmed down so much. I thought he was doing fine."

I frowned and began to shake my head, "No. It`s not your fault. Don`t blame yourself for my mistake."

"Are you going to break up with him?" She asked.

I nodded, "I`m going to try and go back to school tomorrow. If he`s there I`m going to end it."

"Do it with a crowd," She advised. "The more witnesses the less likely it is he`ll do anything."

I groaned and flopped back onto my bed. "I never thought this would happen to me."

"What would happen to you?" Neela asked while laying down next to me.

"That I`d have a boyfriend who I need to break up with, with a crowd around out of fear of getting hurt."

"No one does."

"Morimoto wasn`t exactly abusive," I murmured. "But I think he could of been if he really wanted to."

"He left a bruise on you, Ameila," Neela hissed. "Don`t...don`t you think that`s pretty close?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Too bad my last boyfriend is a jerk."

"He won`t be your last," Neela mumbled. "You can find someone else."

"Like who?" I laughed.

"Like Han," She answered with a grin.

I groaned, "Not this again. Why do you insist I go for Han?"

"You really don`t see the way he looks at you, do you?" She asked in disbelief.

"Han does not look at me a certain way."

"Oh yes he does. Ask anyone."

I scoffed, "You are crazy. Completely and utterly crazy."

"Sure I am," Neela chuckled. "Just you wait."

"Even if Han was interested, and that`s a huge if," I emphasized, "He wouldn`t make a move. He wouldn`t want to date a girl with cancer."

"You`d be surprised," Neela whispered. "You`d be surprised."