As Planned

"Look who decided to come to school today," Twinkie teased.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the crowded school building. "And why wouldn`t I be here?"

"You stayed out all night," Earl replied teasingly.

"You guys probably went to bed later than I did," I grumbled. "You two were still working on that car when I left."

"And that is why we finished it last night," Twinkie said proudly.

"And that is also why you`ll pass out during class," I teased. "But good for you for rebuilding that engine. I`m sure Han is happy."

"He better be. He`s been on our asses about it," Earl grunted out.

"Mhmm. And how long has he been asking you to do it?" I asked. I was completely amused. I knew the answer had to be longer than a week.

"Two weeks," Earl admitted sheepishly.

"More like a month," Twinkie mumbled.

I knew it! "And that is why you should of gotten it done sooner. He wouldn`t of been on you about it if you had."

"If he wasn`t onto us about that then it would of been something else."

"That`s because you don`t do anything," I teased, smirking at Earl all the while. "Now come on, we`re gonna be late for class." And no sooner did I finish speaking did the bell ring.

We quickly parted ways, scrambling to put on our slippers so we wouldn`t get in trouble with our teachers. By the time lunch rolled around I was exhausted. And so were Twinkie and Earl. Apparently Twink fell asleep during his second class. I honestly thought it would take a little longer than that. But at least I was right about him falling asleep. I`m actually kind of surprised I haven`t done the same thing yet. Maybe I should take a nap when I get home. That is if I don`t get dragged away to Han`s first.

"Where`s Reiko?" I asked after grabbing my food and sitting down. "I haven`t seen her today."

"Han let her stay home. She was throwing up this morning," Twinkie replied.

I frowned. I wonder what caused it. "Anything else wrong?"

"No. Just an upset stomach," Earl said.

"I`ll have to bring her something when I come over later." And don`t think I missed you calling the garage 'home', I mentally added. But I guess when you really think about it, Han had created a second home for all of us. "Do you think she`ll be okay?"

Earl nodded. "She`ll be fine in a day or two."

"I wonder what made her sick," I murmured. "She was fine last night."

"Too many sweets," Twinkie attempted to say through a mouthful of food. I`m surprised I even understood him.

"Han and I ate more than she did and we`re both fine," I argued. "Han is fine, right?"

Earl shrugged. "From what we seen of him. He was only up long enough to check on Reiko."

"Of course," I groaned. "He`s probably still asleep."

"Probably," he agreed. "Han sleeps as much as possible."

"He`s up all night too," Twinkie added.

"All night?" I repeated, frowning. "No wonder he`s so tired all the time."

"He`s rebuilding a car from the ground up," Twink explained.

"Even so, the poor thing needs to rest."

"I don`t think Iv`e ever heard anyone talk about Han like that."

I snickered at Twinkie`s bewildered expression. "That doesn`t surprise me. Most girls vie for his attention but once they get it for more than five minutes they don`t seem to know what to do with it. I guess they care more about being able to brag about how they slept with the great Han rather than actually caring about him."

"When did you get so smart?" Twinkie asked, still looking as bewildered as ever.

"Speaking of sex, have you slept with Han yet?" Earl interrupted.

"Earl!" I hissed, reaching across the table to smack his arm. "Don`t talk about that so loud!"

"Have you?" He pressed.

I looked over at Twinkie, "Aren`t you going to shut him up?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I wanna hear this."

I groaned. "Do we really have to talk about this now?"

"Yes!"

"Fine," I grumbled. "No I have not slept with Han. We have slept in the same bed but that`s it. I`m still upholding one of my rules."

"And that rule is?" Ear inquired.

"I`m not doing anything until I`m in remission. Or as close to it as possible." I answered. "I wanna be relatively healthy when or if I do anything with Han."

"You are so boring."

"Excuse me?" I squeaked.

"You`re boring," Earl repeated. "You live your life behind your cancer. I`m tired of hearing about how you`ll do things after you go into remission. That`s just your way of getting away with not doing something your uncertain about. You need to live more. And in certain aspects of your life you are doing that. And I`m proud of you for that. But you need to let go. You said it yourself, you may not make it to graduation. I`m not saying to go fuck Han if you don`t want to. I`m saying you need to live your life and not let your cancer get in the way."

I sat back and stared up at him, absolutely floored. I never knew Earl felt that way. He didn`t exactly express his feelings about certain things all the time. What`s going on with him and Reiko is a perfect example of that.

He stood up and grabbed his tray. "I want you to think about what I said. And I mean really think about it. Because dammit, woman, you need to live you lfe!"

I watched him walk away before turning my attention to Twinkie. He looked just as surprised as I felt. "Am I really that boring?" I whispered after a few minutes.

"I don`t think your boring," Twinkie said. "But I think he had a point. You do hide sometimes. But Iv`e also seen you try not to do that. Look, I`m not going to try and pressure you into having sex with Han. That would be wrong. But I want you to listen. Han cares about you. A lot. He may let the models around and he may let them hang on him at times but he hasn`t slept with anyone since he found out you broke things off with Morimoto."

"No models, huh?" I breathed. That was a crazy thought. Iv`e seen model after model exit his bedroom the morning after. Han tried to hide it from me at times but it didn`t work very well.

"No models," Twink echoed. "I know a lot of the rules you made when you were with Morimoto were because you didn`t want to sleep with him. And I can understand that. But maybe you should reevaluate some of those rules because you aren`t another notch in the bedpost to Han. Iv`e always known that. All of us have known that. That`s why we kept trying to push you two together. I`m not saying sleep with him. But I am saying to think about what I said and to think about what Earl said. Live your life and don`t let your cancer get in the way."

"Okay," I whispered. "I`ll think about it."

And think about it I did. It was on my mind for the rest of lunch and for the rest of the school day. I even sent an email to Alex, Emily, and Kim when I got home. I needed all three of their opinions on this. It was odd, talking about my none existent sex life. I`ll go so far as to say it was weird. But Earl and Twinkie got me thinking. Not just about that but also about the rest of my life. Do I really hide? Do I use my cancer as a shield to not do things? Maybe I do need to reevaluate my life. I guess I`ll have to continue to think about it.