As Planned

Two days. How has it only been two days and Iv`e already went through being weak, having my stomach feel like it`s being ripped inside out, and it being hard to breathe? Normally it takes longer than this! It spans days, I even had it last weeks. But no, it had to be one jumbled mess of agony after the other that`s getting harder and harder to hide. I don`t know how I`m going to hide coughing up blood. No, by then I`ll have to tell them. But I don`t want to lose the people I`m starting to consider my friends.

Alex keeps telling me in her emails to just get it over with and tell them but I dread it so. At least today isn`t too bad. I`m able to breathe somewhat better and there hasn`t been any signs of blood or coughing so I suppose that`s something. And it`s already lunch time so maybe by the time all that starts up I`ll be at home. I hope.

Instead of having lunch in the cafeteria we`re having it up on the roof since it`s such a nice day compared to the normally chilly weather. While the teachers don`t seem too happy about it there are a few students spread out up here with us.

"So," Morimoto pressed with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and suppressed a tired sigh. Someone decided to play twenty questions because I apparently haven`t been telling them enough about my life in America. And by someone I mean Morimoto. He can be very annoying when he wants to be. "Fine. Yes I have had a boyfriend." He cheered and grinned at me. "Only one," I specified. "And it didn`t last very long anyway."

"Why not?" Twinkie questioned. "And I don`t get why you had only one boyfriend."

I scoffed, "Yes only one and it`s not that hard to figure out." No one wants a girlfriend with cancer, I added in my head. "And it didn`t last very long because I got sick and he couldn`t deal with taking care of me." That wasn`t exactly a lie but it also wasn`t the whole truth either.

"That`s why he broke up with you?" Neela asked while looking rather appalled.

"That`s a stupid reason to break up with someone," Twinkie said while Morimoto nodded in what appeared to be agreement.

I shrugged, "If he couldn`t handle me at my worst then he couldn`t truly handle me at my best."

"Then I`ll be your boyfriend," Morimoto stated.

I couldn`t help it, I started laughing so hard I started coughing. On the bright side there was no blood on my hand afterward so at least that`s something, "I`m fine," I dismissed when I saw the questioning and worried looks I received. "I just laughed too hard."

"I`m serious. I`ll show you what it`s like to have a real boyfriend."

I let out a very unladylike snort. "Is that so?" When I received a nod I continued, "No offense but you don`t exactly have girlfriends. You have girls at the races and notches in your bedpost."

Morimoto scoffed, "Iv`e dated before." He pointed to Neela and Twinkie. "They know! They`ve seen me date before."

Twinkie nodded, "Yeah, once."

Neela shook her head with a soft smile. "Iv`e seen it twice. It just takes a certain kind of girl to catch his attention long enough."

I nodded and bit at my lip before looking at the man in question. "Why do you want to date a girl like me anyway?"

He shrugged, "You had a bad boyfriend. Might as well show you what having a good one is like."

I pursed my lips and thought for a minute. I doubt it would do any harm. And I suppose it would be nice to be with someone before I die. "I`ll make you a deal. I`ll go on one date and if, and only if, it goes good I`ll agree to go out with you."

"This weekend sound good?" He asked with a grin.

I`ll probably be getting evaluated by then but... "It`s a date." If I end up getting stuck at the hospital all weekend he`ll either understand and reschedule or he`ll break things off. That is if he doesn`t do it after he finds out what`s wrong with me.

"You really want to start dating this clown?" Twinkie snickered while Morimoto yelled something in Japanese that I didn`t bother to catch.

"It`s one date," I insisted. "Besides, if it does go well and we end up together..." I trailed off with a shrug. "I have rules."

"Rules?" Morimoto questioned.

I nodded, "They`re just simple things. Like having to stay faithful. Knowing I`m not another notch in your bedpost. Understanding that no means no. Waiting a certain amount of time before I seep with you. If I sleep with you."

He sputtered while Twinkie started laughing and Neela nodded her head in what seemed to be approval. I really hope I don`t lose them when I tell them I have cancer. I don`t want to get close to people just to get my heart broken.

After that the rest of the school day was rather boring and seemed to go by extra slowly. When I got home I helped mom make dinner while aunt Sarah was at the store and when she got home I helped her put everything away and then we ate. The three of us ended up watching a few movies before I went and soaked in the tub. The whole night I coughed but never had any blood come up with it. Hopefully it will stay the same way tomorrow and I won`t be coughing up blood until this weekend. Hopefully...