Status: contains scenes with prescription drug abuse and/or verbal/physical abuse

Virgin

don't look back, you're not going that way

Alex,” Hannah sobbed as she waltzed in through the open door to Alex’s suite at Milton Center. Alex turned away from her open suitcase and her older sister wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her more tightly than she was really comfortable with. “Oh my god, you look so healthy.” she cried, pulling away to admire Alex’s healthier frame.

“Thanks.” Alex said softly, turning her lips up into a small smile.

Hannah stepped away to take a look at the room. “This is nice.” she noted as she stepped around the space. The white walls were tall and didn’t make you feel locked in, the carpet a dark shade of blue. The bed was placed in the farthest corner of the room and across from it was a dresser with a small TV and DVD player placed on top, and near the door was a desk and a chair. The windows were tall and large as well, with a view of the park below. “Really nice, Alex.” she added as she peeked out from the sheer, white curtains.

Alex returned to her suitcase, neatly folding up the contents of the dresser which she had very nicely thrown all over the bed earlier as she was cleaning out.

An awkward silence soon filled the room, with neither sister knowing quite want to say. Hannah wanted to know how Alex was feeling, if she still had the urge to use, but felt that might be too much as she was just about to leave rehab, and Alex was worried about sounding too eager to leave Milton Place.

It was Hannah who first broke the silence. “I hope you’re okay.”

Alex looked up and turned her head to glance at her older sister, standing by the window with her arms crossed over her chest, looking more like their mother than she had in her entire life, if their mother had a maternal bone in her body. “I’m okay.” she whispered.

Hannah wiped away a tear and stepped forward to wrap one arm around Alex, squeezing her shoulder for a quick moment. “You need any help?” she asked.

Alex shook her head. “No, I got everything almost done.”

“Okay.” Hannah nodded. “I’ll go talk to Hilary. You finish up and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Alex glanced at her sister as she left the room before returning to her work. Hannah was going to grab the Bringing Home An Addict pamphlet from the program leader and Alex’s personal counsellor, Hilary.

She and Hilary had both agreed that she’d go home to live with Hannah, her husband Phil and their daughter Riley for a few months after her treatment was finished. Hilary and Hannah had done all the arranging of everything since Alex was not to have contact with anyone outside Milton Center during her entire stay, something she herself had suggested as Milton’s policy was only a two week period of solidarity.

They had all agreed that returning to her tiny apartment in San Francisco might not be a good idea with everything that had happened there, from taking her first dose of Xanax on the green sofa in the living room, to everything with Yanis in the bedroom, or to going to sleep in the clawfoot tub in the bathroom.

When Alex was finished with her suitcases she headed out into the hallway to find Hannah admiring the paintings on the wall. “Ready.” she said softly, and Hannah turned to her with a smile.

“What did you do with all my stuff?” Alex asked during the drive.

“Phil had all of it brought back, most of it’s in storage.” Hannah answered. “But I’ve got lots of it for you at home. Your computer and everything, your school stuff. I mean, I didn’t know if you’d want it, but.. thought I’d save you the trip if you do.”

Phil was Hannah’s husband and Alex felt terrible that he’d had to foot the bill for anything on her behalf. She felt terrible for everything they had already done from them, from the first trip out to visit, to the hospital bill, to the stay at Milton.. she felt pathetic about it all.

“Thanks.” Alex said.

Phil and Riley were standing outside the door when Hannah and Alex pulled into the driveway. Riley held a golden teddy under her arm but she looked uncomfortable and tense as she held onto her dad’s sleeve with her other hand. Phil looked along the same, but he smiled at least.

“Just remember that Riley is four, okay? She doesn’t understand a whole lot and she’s still a little.. freaked out.” Hannah said delicately as they pulled into the driveway. “I know this all must be.. stressful.. for you, so just hang in there.”

Alex nodded as Hannah turned the keys out of the ignition and opened the door to step out, but before doing so, she offered her sister one encouraging smile before turning her back and walking up the driveway to meet her family, who greeted her warmly.

Alex took one deep breath before doing the same. The four year old, whom Alex had met briefly here before seizing in their bathroom two months earlier, stared at her with big, blue eyes like her dad’s and she held on tightly to the teddy she was clutching.

“Hi.” said Alex as she reached the three of them. She exchanged glances and one curt nod with Phil before glancing down at the little girl again.

“Hi.” came Riley’s small voice. She studied Alex intently and she felt like she did when she had first met Hilary.

Riley pulled the teddy out from under her arm and slowly held it out toward Alex, who furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “I- for me?” she asked, and Riley nodded.

Alex pursed her lips into a smile and took the teddy from Riley. “Thanks.”

“Well, let’s head inside!” came Hannah’s overly cheerful voice, and this time Alex was relieved to hear it. Phil pushed open the door and ushered everyone inside. Riley seemed all too eager to race back inside and for the first time, Alex felt she and her niece were on the same page.

As Phil excused himself to grab Alex’s luggage from the car, Hannah led both Alex and Riley into the kitchen for a snack.

“Peanut butter snails, baby?” Asked Hannah as she pulled a plate from the fridge. Both Riley and Alex had taken seats at the kitchen island. Alex turned her head to find Riley’s eyes fixated on her as she nodded her head. “Peanut butter snails, Alex?” Hannah said, and Alex turned her head toward her and nodded quickly.

Hannah, as it turned out, was a Pinterest mom. Alex realized this when she got a look at the ‘snails’ placed in front of her. Half moon apple slices placed on a celery stick with peanut butter, chocolate chips for eyes and small pretzel pieces for antennas. Alex’s lips turned up into a smile as she bit into one.

“So, Alex,” came Phil’s voice as he entered the room and headed toward the fridge, where his wife stood, deconstructing a peanut butter snail, “any plans for the near future?”

Alex swallowed hard and looked at Hannah, who looked slightly taken back by Phil’s question. Riley didn’t look like she had heard anything at all, though Alex thought she would be quite eager to find out whether or not the strange woman in her home would be leaving soon.

“Uh, well, I have an appointment with a doctor next week, and then a psychiatrist after that, and.. Hilary signed me up for group counselling in a few weeks, so..” Alex said, her voice uneasy as she leaned back in her chair. “After that, I.. I think I’d like to find some way to finish school, but I-I don’t really know how that’s all gonna work out.”

“That’s fine, Alex.” said Hannah reassuringly. “No need to make plans yet.”

It was perfectly reasonable for Phil to want to know how long Alex would be staying and how much more money he’d need to donate to her pathetic charity case. It hadn’t been her grand plan to wind up living with a sister she hadn’t seen in years, with a new family she didn’t know at all, but, like everything else, things had just spun out of her control.
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Alex woke up early the next morning to go for a run around the neighbourhood. She threw on a pair of shorts and a loose, grey t-shirt, pulled her hair back into a pony, and strapped her high school iPod onto a velcro arm-band she had bought a few years back.

She ran several blocks, lost in the sounds of Finger Eleven, before noticing footsteps on her trail between songs. Slowing her pace, she looked behind her to find someone’s dog trotting along behind her.

“Hi, puppy.” Alex breathed as she came to a stop, offering her hand for the dog to smell before she ran a hand over his head and behind his ears. He was a tall, broad chocolate lab, looked almost exactly like Tilly, the lab who lived next door when she was little.

She bent down to the dog’s level to check his tags and somewhere around the corner, she could hear a man’s voice shouting after the name on the tag.

“Marshall!” the twenty-something shouted as he rounded the corner. As soon as he caught wind of who could only be his master, the chocolate coloured dog bounded for the man at the end of the street. He was tall and had tattoos winding down both arms, clad in a pair of running shorts and a Nike tee.

“Thank you.” he called out to her as he headed toward her, dog in tow. Alex held her hands together behind her back. “He’s usually really good off leash but a squirrel caught him off guard.” he explained further as he approached her in the middle of the empty road.

Alex nodded. “Squirrels are the worst.” she offered and the man’s lips turned up into a broad smile.

“Do you live around here? I’ve never seen you before.”

Alex looked down and bit her lip. “I live on Burkley.”

“Oh. Cool. Well, I guess I’ll see you around, then.” the man said, offering her his huge hand, which she reached forward to shake. “I’m Tyler, by the way. You can come by if you ever need any squirrel patrol, I live in the last house on Young.” he added with a wink.

Alex stood there with her hand in his, mouth slightly agape and wide-eyed for a good forty-seconds before Tyler finally pulled his hand away. “I’m Alex.” she choked out.

Tyler’s lips slowly turned up into a smile. “‘S a pleasure, Alex. See you around.” And then he turned around and headed back on his way with his dog in tow, and Alex just stood there staring like an idiot.
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I'm very sorry because I really am in love with the plot of this story I just have a hard time putting my ideas into words but recently I've gone in and changed some details which involved re-writing. Chapter two will be re-posted in a day or so and chapter three will hopefully follow soon after. :)