How I Feel
It's A New Dawn, It's A New Day, It's A New Life For Me
Jamie rushed to his car and tore across town to where Bill and Linda lived, hoping Avery hadn't left yet. He parked in the driveway and was barely out of the car when Avery stepped out of the house.
"Jamie?" She questioned, pausing with her hand still on the door knob. Jamie was the last person she expected to see. Not after the way she ended things.
"You quit your job," he said as he walked towards her.
"I couldn't...I can't stay here. Texas isn't for me."
"Why?"
"Why? Jamie, you know why."
"Say it. Why isn't Texas for you? Why couldn't you stay?" He asked from the bottom of the stairs. He wanted to surge forward and touch her but he didn't, holding back, waiting for her.
"Because I can't have you," she whispered, refusing to meet his eye.
He climbed the stairs and stood in front of her. "I can't hear you."
She looked up at him. "Because I can't have you," she repeated. "Damn it, Jamie, this is all your fault for not being an asshole."
He laughed as he finally, finally, pulled her to him. "You really think going back to Massachusetts is going to help?"
"I have an ex that wants me back. It won't be perfect but it'll be a distraction."
"You deserve so much better than a distraction, Avery. And I won't be happy if you leave so you should stay."
"And do what? I quit my job."
"We'll get your job back. I'm the captain, remember? Just tell me you'll stay and we'll figure out the rest later."
She didn't want to fight with him and she didn't want to fight her heart. "I'll stay," she told him.
He leaned her back against the front door and kissed her deeply. "To be clear, you are my girlfriend."
"Okay."
"Tell Linda you're not leaving after all and then get in my car; you're going to my place with me."
She opened the door and hurried inside, returning a few short moments later and followed him to his car. "Hey, how did you know I was leaving?" She asked.
Jamie got her into the passenger seat and around to the driver's side before picking up his phone. Seven missed calls, three voicemails, twelve unread messages, all from Stella.
"I was at Jordie and Stella's and was eavesdropping when she got home and told Jordie. You should call her and tell her you're not leaving. I'd hang up when she starts asking questions; I didn't explain much before I took off. We can have breakfast with them tomorrow or something and fill in the blanks."
"Jamie, what did you say to her?" She said as she looked at her own phone, filled with missed calls and texts from her sister also.
"I just told her I thought was in love with you. I didn't tell her we had been seeing each other, or that you broke up with me a week ago."
"Say that again."
"You did break up with me, don't deny it. We were dating, whether you want to believe it or not."
"Not that you idiot. The other part."
Jamie blushed. "I um, I didn't mean that exactly, per say..."
"What did you mean, exactly, per say?"
"I was just surprised when Stella said you were leaving and words just came out."
"So you had word vomit is what you're saying."
He chuckled. "Yes, I had word vomit. I really like you, Avery. I like being around you, I like having you at my house, and in my life, and yeah, I might be falling for you. So there you go. Exactly. Per say."
"I really like you too, Jamie. Exactly. Per say," she smirked.
The following morning, Jamie and Avery drove over to Stella and Jordie's for breakfast. They had ignored Stella's calls and texts all night while they reacquainted themselves with each other. They knew Stella always made a big Saturday morning breakfast and that she was usually up early on account of Alex so they had no problem ringing their doorbell at eight thirty five.
Jordie swung the door open wearing a pair of sweatpants and no shirt, scratching his head and yawning. "Stels is going to kill both of you, I hope you know that. And then I'm gonna kill you because I had to listen to her all night."
"Jamie Benn!" Stella exclaimed as she walked into the hall. "If you do not start explaining yourself right now I will have no problem calling your coach and telling him I broke you."
"You sound like a crazy person right now, Stella," Avery spoke up. "I stayed. Maybe you want to thank him for that."
"Thank you, Jamie," she replied politely.
"You're welcome?" Jamie tried, not really sure how he was supposed to answer.
"I'll tell you whatever you want to know," Avery said to Stella, slipping her arm through her sisters and leading her back towards the kitchen. "Minus a detail or twenty."
"So, you and Avery?" Jordie said when the two disappeared.
"Go put some clothes on," Jamie responded, shoving at him.
"Can't handle all of this?" Jordie smirked. "I know it's a lot to take in. I've already won the heart of one Croft sister; wouldn't want to swoop in and steal the other one."
"Fuck you," Jamie laughed. "Where's Alex?"
"Living room."
"I'll be with the kid until your brain cells return then."
In the kitchen, Stella put Avery to work helping her with the pancakes. "Talk," she demanded as she worked on bacon.
"He came by to see me when he got back in town; Jordie sent him, to make sure I was getting out. He didn't know, and I'm assuming Jordie didn't either, that you had already sent Tyler to check up on me."
"Someone had to."
"Please tell me that you weren't hoping I'd fall for Tyler."
"No, I never thought that would happen. Friends maybe, but Tyler is a league of his own."
"He's sweet it turns out."
"He has two younger sisters. He is a man whore, but when he wants to be, he's a good guy. Now enough about Tyler. Tell me about you and Jamie."
"He took me to dinner and an art showing at your museum."
"That was for you?! I knew he was trying to impress someone but not that it was you!"
"Well needless to say, he impressed me and we went out again."
"And?"
"What?"
"Have you?" She gestured inappropriately.
"Stella!" Avery squeaked. "I'm not talking about that with you. He's your brother in law!"
"Oh my god you slept with Jamie!"
"Benn is italian for irresistible," Jordie smirked as he wandered into the kitchen. "She never stood a chance."
Avery blushed and Stella swatted him with a dish towel. "Shut up, Jordie. And go away. We are having girl talk."
"About my brother. And who knows Jamie better? If anyone knows the mind of a Benn man, it's me."
"I think I've got a pretty good handle on the way Jamie's mind works, thanks," Avery spoke up.
"And other things," Jordie winked at her.
"Phillip Jordan Ellis Benn!" Stella admonished him. "Go to the living room." When he was gone, Stella turned back to Avery. "If you're seeing him, then why were you going to leave?"
"I'm not supposed to date him. We were seeing each other, every day, but being careful when I was at work. Until Jamie kissed me a week ago at the office. I got a warning so I broke it off. It sucked though, and I was miserable so I decided to go home. I told you, Jamie heard, and now here we are. Official."
"You quit your job over Jamie?"
"Kind of? Technically when I tried to tell them
I quit, they said to take the weekend to really decide. But I can't work for the team if Jamie and I are together."
"So don't tell them."
"You can't be suggesting that Jamie and I carry on in secret."
"No; it'll just be a secret from the front office. The team will know; no way to keep a secret from those goobers."
"I really don't think that will work, Stella."
"What if you tell your boss that you and Jamie met when Jordie and I first started dating, and that you were doing a long distance thing on and off, and that you came to Victoria during the summer, to help me plan and instead you and Jamie fell in love, and then you got the job here and you tried to end things but then Jamie came back to Dallas early to win you back and love prevailed!"
"Are you watching soap operas again? Because that sounds more than a little dramatic."
"You'll need a dramatic backstory to convince them to let you and Jamie be."
"Maybe we could just try honesty," Jamie said as he and Jordie walked into the kitchen.
"Maybe that sounds boring. And lame," Stella replied.
"Let them figure it out," Jordie told her.
"I could just tell them to take their job and shove it," Avery said with a shrug. "There's other things I can do; I'm sure I could find a job. And I don't think Linda and Bill would mind if I stay a little longer with them."
"You can always stay with us too," Stella offered. "It'll be fun when the guys are on the road."
"Thanks, Stella but can we talk about something else now? It's the weekend; I don't have to worry about any of this until Monday. Besides, whatever I decide is between me and Jamie. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I think we can figure this out. And if we can't, I'll talk to you."
"And if he's a fuck up, talk to me," Jordie said. "I won't let him get away with anything."
After breakfast, and after Jamie spent an hour chasing Alex around the back yard, he and Avery headed back to his place where they settled onto the couch. Avery tucked herself against his side and let Jamie's arm rest around her shoulders. They sat silently for several minutes enjoying each other's presence before Jamie finally spoke.
"You were really going to quit over me? I don't even know if I'm worth that, Avery. What if I screw up your whole life? What if you resent me and we end up hating each other?"
"When you say it like that, yeah, it's kind of absurd but I'm not going to resent you unless you turn into a complete dickwad."
"You know your sister and my brother will murder me if I do, right?"
She laughed. "It'd be hard to murder the captain of the Dallas Stars and nobody notice but probably Stella would castrate you."
"I'm a little attached to my dick."
"It's not bad."
"Not bad?" He scoffed. "It's magnificent."
"Keep telling yourself that."
He lifted off the couch and pushed her back into the cushions, pinning her under him. He grinded his hips into hers and she tugged him down to her and kissed him.
"Now tell me I'm magnificent," he said hotly, close to her ear.
"I'm not going to stroke your ego," she replied with a smirk.
"You'll stroke something," he told her, tugging at the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. Her hands slid under his own shirt and up his chest and Jamie reached behind him to pull it off.
He braced himself over her on his forearms above her and looked down at her. Their eyes met and Avery smiled and Jamie just knew. It was crazy and too fast but he knew. Avery was it. This was the girl he was always supposed to meet.
He leaned in to kiss her sweetly and she wound her arms around his neck. "We'll figure out how to make this work Avery, I promise. You're too good at your job to just walk away."
"Okay, Jamie; we'll figure it out."
"Jamie?" She questioned, pausing with her hand still on the door knob. Jamie was the last person she expected to see. Not after the way she ended things.
"You quit your job," he said as he walked towards her.
"I couldn't...I can't stay here. Texas isn't for me."
"Why?"
"Why? Jamie, you know why."
"Say it. Why isn't Texas for you? Why couldn't you stay?" He asked from the bottom of the stairs. He wanted to surge forward and touch her but he didn't, holding back, waiting for her.
"Because I can't have you," she whispered, refusing to meet his eye.
He climbed the stairs and stood in front of her. "I can't hear you."
She looked up at him. "Because I can't have you," she repeated. "Damn it, Jamie, this is all your fault for not being an asshole."
He laughed as he finally, finally, pulled her to him. "You really think going back to Massachusetts is going to help?"
"I have an ex that wants me back. It won't be perfect but it'll be a distraction."
"You deserve so much better than a distraction, Avery. And I won't be happy if you leave so you should stay."
"And do what? I quit my job."
"We'll get your job back. I'm the captain, remember? Just tell me you'll stay and we'll figure out the rest later."
She didn't want to fight with him and she didn't want to fight her heart. "I'll stay," she told him.
He leaned her back against the front door and kissed her deeply. "To be clear, you are my girlfriend."
"Okay."
"Tell Linda you're not leaving after all and then get in my car; you're going to my place with me."
She opened the door and hurried inside, returning a few short moments later and followed him to his car. "Hey, how did you know I was leaving?" She asked.
Jamie got her into the passenger seat and around to the driver's side before picking up his phone. Seven missed calls, three voicemails, twelve unread messages, all from Stella.
"I was at Jordie and Stella's and was eavesdropping when she got home and told Jordie. You should call her and tell her you're not leaving. I'd hang up when she starts asking questions; I didn't explain much before I took off. We can have breakfast with them tomorrow or something and fill in the blanks."
"Jamie, what did you say to her?" She said as she looked at her own phone, filled with missed calls and texts from her sister also.
"I just told her I thought was in love with you. I didn't tell her we had been seeing each other, or that you broke up with me a week ago."
"Say that again."
"You did break up with me, don't deny it. We were dating, whether you want to believe it or not."
"Not that you idiot. The other part."
Jamie blushed. "I um, I didn't mean that exactly, per say..."
"What did you mean, exactly, per say?"
"I was just surprised when Stella said you were leaving and words just came out."
"So you had word vomit is what you're saying."
He chuckled. "Yes, I had word vomit. I really like you, Avery. I like being around you, I like having you at my house, and in my life, and yeah, I might be falling for you. So there you go. Exactly. Per say."
"I really like you too, Jamie. Exactly. Per say," she smirked.
~*~*~
The following morning, Jamie and Avery drove over to Stella and Jordie's for breakfast. They had ignored Stella's calls and texts all night while they reacquainted themselves with each other. They knew Stella always made a big Saturday morning breakfast and that she was usually up early on account of Alex so they had no problem ringing their doorbell at eight thirty five.
Jordie swung the door open wearing a pair of sweatpants and no shirt, scratching his head and yawning. "Stels is going to kill both of you, I hope you know that. And then I'm gonna kill you because I had to listen to her all night."
"Jamie Benn!" Stella exclaimed as she walked into the hall. "If you do not start explaining yourself right now I will have no problem calling your coach and telling him I broke you."
"You sound like a crazy person right now, Stella," Avery spoke up. "I stayed. Maybe you want to thank him for that."
"Thank you, Jamie," she replied politely.
"You're welcome?" Jamie tried, not really sure how he was supposed to answer.
"I'll tell you whatever you want to know," Avery said to Stella, slipping her arm through her sisters and leading her back towards the kitchen. "Minus a detail or twenty."
"So, you and Avery?" Jordie said when the two disappeared.
"Go put some clothes on," Jamie responded, shoving at him.
"Can't handle all of this?" Jordie smirked. "I know it's a lot to take in. I've already won the heart of one Croft sister; wouldn't want to swoop in and steal the other one."
"Fuck you," Jamie laughed. "Where's Alex?"
"Living room."
"I'll be with the kid until your brain cells return then."
In the kitchen, Stella put Avery to work helping her with the pancakes. "Talk," she demanded as she worked on bacon.
"He came by to see me when he got back in town; Jordie sent him, to make sure I was getting out. He didn't know, and I'm assuming Jordie didn't either, that you had already sent Tyler to check up on me."
"Someone had to."
"Please tell me that you weren't hoping I'd fall for Tyler."
"No, I never thought that would happen. Friends maybe, but Tyler is a league of his own."
"He's sweet it turns out."
"He has two younger sisters. He is a man whore, but when he wants to be, he's a good guy. Now enough about Tyler. Tell me about you and Jamie."
"He took me to dinner and an art showing at your museum."
"That was for you?! I knew he was trying to impress someone but not that it was you!"
"Well needless to say, he impressed me and we went out again."
"And?"
"What?"
"Have you?" She gestured inappropriately.
"Stella!" Avery squeaked. "I'm not talking about that with you. He's your brother in law!"
"Oh my god you slept with Jamie!"
"Benn is italian for irresistible," Jordie smirked as he wandered into the kitchen. "She never stood a chance."
Avery blushed and Stella swatted him with a dish towel. "Shut up, Jordie. And go away. We are having girl talk."
"About my brother. And who knows Jamie better? If anyone knows the mind of a Benn man, it's me."
"I think I've got a pretty good handle on the way Jamie's mind works, thanks," Avery spoke up.
"And other things," Jordie winked at her.
"Phillip Jordan Ellis Benn!" Stella admonished him. "Go to the living room." When he was gone, Stella turned back to Avery. "If you're seeing him, then why were you going to leave?"
"I'm not supposed to date him. We were seeing each other, every day, but being careful when I was at work. Until Jamie kissed me a week ago at the office. I got a warning so I broke it off. It sucked though, and I was miserable so I decided to go home. I told you, Jamie heard, and now here we are. Official."
"You quit your job over Jamie?"
"Kind of? Technically when I tried to tell them
I quit, they said to take the weekend to really decide. But I can't work for the team if Jamie and I are together."
"So don't tell them."
"You can't be suggesting that Jamie and I carry on in secret."
"No; it'll just be a secret from the front office. The team will know; no way to keep a secret from those goobers."
"I really don't think that will work, Stella."
"What if you tell your boss that you and Jamie met when Jordie and I first started dating, and that you were doing a long distance thing on and off, and that you came to Victoria during the summer, to help me plan and instead you and Jamie fell in love, and then you got the job here and you tried to end things but then Jamie came back to Dallas early to win you back and love prevailed!"
"Are you watching soap operas again? Because that sounds more than a little dramatic."
"You'll need a dramatic backstory to convince them to let you and Jamie be."
"Maybe we could just try honesty," Jamie said as he and Jordie walked into the kitchen.
"Maybe that sounds boring. And lame," Stella replied.
"Let them figure it out," Jordie told her.
"I could just tell them to take their job and shove it," Avery said with a shrug. "There's other things I can do; I'm sure I could find a job. And I don't think Linda and Bill would mind if I stay a little longer with them."
"You can always stay with us too," Stella offered. "It'll be fun when the guys are on the road."
"Thanks, Stella but can we talk about something else now? It's the weekend; I don't have to worry about any of this until Monday. Besides, whatever I decide is between me and Jamie. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I think we can figure this out. And if we can't, I'll talk to you."
"And if he's a fuck up, talk to me," Jordie said. "I won't let him get away with anything."
After breakfast, and after Jamie spent an hour chasing Alex around the back yard, he and Avery headed back to his place where they settled onto the couch. Avery tucked herself against his side and let Jamie's arm rest around her shoulders. They sat silently for several minutes enjoying each other's presence before Jamie finally spoke.
"You were really going to quit over me? I don't even know if I'm worth that, Avery. What if I screw up your whole life? What if you resent me and we end up hating each other?"
"When you say it like that, yeah, it's kind of absurd but I'm not going to resent you unless you turn into a complete dickwad."
"You know your sister and my brother will murder me if I do, right?"
She laughed. "It'd be hard to murder the captain of the Dallas Stars and nobody notice but probably Stella would castrate you."
"I'm a little attached to my dick."
"It's not bad."
"Not bad?" He scoffed. "It's magnificent."
"Keep telling yourself that."
He lifted off the couch and pushed her back into the cushions, pinning her under him. He grinded his hips into hers and she tugged him down to her and kissed him.
"Now tell me I'm magnificent," he said hotly, close to her ear.
"I'm not going to stroke your ego," she replied with a smirk.
"You'll stroke something," he told her, tugging at the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. Her hands slid under his own shirt and up his chest and Jamie reached behind him to pull it off.
He braced himself over her on his forearms above her and looked down at her. Their eyes met and Avery smiled and Jamie just knew. It was crazy and too fast but he knew. Avery was it. This was the girl he was always supposed to meet.
He leaned in to kiss her sweetly and she wound her arms around his neck. "We'll figure out how to make this work Avery, I promise. You're too good at your job to just walk away."
"Okay, Jamie; we'll figure it out."