Lost Haven.

11 months old.
"Angewa! Wight hee, Angie!"
Chris shakes the rattle over Angie's head, making her coo as she reached out for it. She had the biggest grin on her face, and it was quite infectious. Any time she would laugh I could feel it deep and warm in my bones and in my chest.
I lean back on my hands just as Angela begins to bounce on her bum, wobbling to kneel and even more wobbly rising to her feet. She's only able to keep her balance for a few seconds before falling down. Not before she can snatch the rattle from Chris's hand, which makes her giggle. He pretends to whine and I nudge him with my foot, laughing. "She's proving to be tougher than you, Christina."
"Oh very funny," he mocks, resting his arm atop his knee as he watches Angie chew mercilessly on the plastic. She had started to teethe so I was expecting her to be a bit more cranky, but that probably changed when Chris walked through the door.
Riley bumps open the front door with his hip, carrying an armful of groceries and a pair in the other.
"Looks like you need some help there," I muse, watching as he treads over.
"You tell me. I'm starting to feel like a house wife," he mumbles, dropping the bags onto the table and starting to unload the groceries. Chris chuckles and rises to help him. Meanwhile, I stay seated with Angela. I'd done more than enough cooking and changing diapers around here. They didn't mind helping out with the easy tasks anyway. And besides, they're not the ones that had to give birth and have their demon husband go missing.
Not that it was important.
I continued to find it always sneaking up on my thoughts. A part of me was still hurt from it, but I think I just told myself that so I wouldn't have to admit to the part that misses him.
I dreamt about him what felt like every night. I'd see his face gleaming, lighting up like a sun breaking through a dark room. Sometimes he noticed me there; sometimes we'd speak, sometimes he wouldn't say a word. And then, like a wisp of smoke, he was gone. But even despite the torture of waking up to remember that I didn't have that luxury anymore, it was enough just to get to see his face one more time. I was afraid I'd forget what he looked like; forget the light scar at the corner of his brow, how deep his green eyes were, the crook of his smile. Every night I hoped that he would come to me, and that for once, it wouldn't just be a dream.
It was impossible to distract myself from those thoughts once I started. Even as I bounced Angela on my knee and played with her, every feature I took in seemed to remind me of him. I imagine him carrying her, smiling as he held her up to his face and smothered his mouth into her cheek.
She reaches out for me, smiling and revealing the tiny tooth that was beginning to show. I grin, laying her on her back as I wiggle my fingers into her sides. She squeals and squirms around as she fills the room with her happy stream of coos. She looks at me when I stop and props herself up on my leg, making grabby hands. "Ma-muh."
Everyone's heads had turned to her and the sound of shuffling through bags had stopped. I was all but frozen at the sound that left her lips, staring. Did she just-
"Ma-muh," she murmurs again as she tugs on my shirt. My eyes water at the simple request and feel my heart clench as she drops herself into my lap. She said mama. Her first word!
"She said her first word," I whisper, astounded. I laugh breathlessly and smile widely. "She called me mama! John, she-"
The name rings in my mind for a moment before my mouth flattens back out. A darkness pangs in my stomach and fills me with emptiness, the realization dawning on me all too easily. I could feel Chris and Riley's cautious gazes on me.
With a heavy but silent breath, I push back the tears and force a smile, smoothing Angela's hair down. "That's right, sweetie. I'm your mama."
Riley strides over, crouching down and looking at me intently. "Lexi..."
"I'm fine," I mutter and shrug it off. Scooping Angie up, I rise to my feet and put on the brave fave they knew I had on. "You don't have to be guarded around me. It's not like he's coming back." My lips purse. "I have to let go eventually. It's just gonna take more time, I guess."
The two scarred angels exchange a glance before going back to eyeing me wearily. I didn't care though. I'd been strong this long for my daughter, I wasn't going to let them stop me. I wasn't going to let the hurt stop me. Even if it hurt like a bitch.
I guess time doesn't heal all wounds.
*************
John's P.O.V.
Time didn't heal all wounds.
I was reminded of that every day when I woke up with an ache in my chest. It felt like a pair of dumbbells just sitting there across my body every time I made the effort to get up.
Them again, I gave up on actual sleep a while ago.
I was on the hunt. I wouldn't stop until I could put an end to this; until my family was safe. At least then I wouldn't hate myself quite as much. They'd never have to worry about me again. Lexi could move on with her new guy and Angela would have a father. It all worked out in the end.
Except.
Except I was still in love with her and it was going to hurt more when I officially had to let go.
I tilt my head back towards the dark sky, taking a stilling breath as I roll my shoulders. I brush that weight off the best I can, letting their memory lift my spirits. They were the ones that lifted that heaviness. They were always with me and they were what truly kept me afloat. They were my wings. My two angels.
"Well it's about damn time. What took you so long, O'Callaghan?"
The voice makes my blood curl and my eyelids slowly open. I knew that this was the moment I'd come face to face with the reason I had to run. This was the end of the road for one of us, and it sure as hell wasn't fucking going to be me.
I turn and stare down at the man that had so much of Zach's likeness. It made it easy to want to choke the life out of him. I would have no problem making him burn for what he forced me to do and putting the light of my life in danger.
Slowly, I circle Taylor as he mimics my movements, moving strategically. I lick my lips and watch him without blinking.
His mouth turns into a wry smile. "How's that family of yours? Did you have a nice holiday?"
"Very original, Taylor," I say gruffly, trying not to grit my teeth.
He chuckles. "Tell them I send my love," he adds sarcastically before continuing. "I mean, really, did you think you were going to get away with killing my brother?" A snarl forms on his face as he balls up his fists. There was no one around this late out on the dock. Nothing more than a few street lamps and a neon sign across the street lighting the way.
"Did you really you were going to have any luck getting to them?" I reply flatly, measuring each step I took around the open space. We were both testing the waters, and I could almost feel the earth quake beneath us. We were two sharks with no other throats to cut out but each other's.
"Oh but I already have, haven't I?" he asks cynically. There was a permanent twist at the corner of his lips. "I knew you'd be too much of a coward to stick around and fight. Too much of a worthless excuse for a demon." He scoffs in astonishment and I feel my bones wanting to spring out of my skin. The center of my forehead feels hot and my eyes darken as I carefully shed my jacket. "You see me backing down?"
He rolls his eyes. "You're missing the point. That wasn't the part that makes you so pathetic. You left to protect them."
"I don't expect you to understand," I say in a leveled voice.
"Course I do," he sneers, growling. "You left to protect them. As if they're worth anything. They're nothing, you idiot. Just some human bitch you knocked up and a kid. I'd have just fucked her and left, but you, you fucking got married? It's so sad-"
I cross the space between us and my hand is around his neck faster than he could take another breath.
"Listen, you worthless piece of shit," I growl, glaring and feeling the fire itch at my fingertips. "You're done disrespecting my family, because I'm sending you to where you belong."
He laughs in my grasp. "What, gonna send me back to hell?"
"No," I mumble. "I'm giving you what you deserve."
Stronger than I've felt at any other point before, I swing my arm out and fling him across the dock, sending his body far until it collides with a metal cargo. It tips over with a thrash and I leap over to stand over him. "And that's nothing," I finish. My fist rips through his chest, a choked gasp emitting from him as I tear his heart out, burning it to a crisp in my hand. His body drops a second later, the corpse reducing to ashes. I should have done the same to his brother when I burned him and sent him back from whence he came, but he never was good at escaping anyway.
I stare at the heap of black soot at my feet as I try to process that it truly was over. That was it. There was no more running to do, something I was so used to. I could go back home, tell Lexi-
I was as good as dead to her now.
No. Fuck that. I wouldn't do that to myself. If I left, she at least deserved to know why I chose to leave so much behind. I missed out on 358 days; away from her, away from my baby girl, from everything I ever really knew or was happy with.
So fuck that. Fuck that guy she was with now, fuck how angry she was going to be with me when she found out the truth and that I kept it from her. I needed to see my family. And I would fight for them, just like I've fought all this time. Fought with enemies, with myself, with loneliness. Even though I had no idea if Lexi could ever take me back, I had to at least try.
So I turn back, pick up the jacket I'd dropped on the ground, and dust it off before opening a portal my way home.
It was my little girl's birthday soon, after all.
***********
"Lex! Dinner's ready!
I huff when Riley calls out and run over to the crib to make sure he hadn't disturbed Angie's sleep. She was still snoring soundlessly, so I tiptoe out of the room before shutting the door quietly behind me. Ri opens his mouth again but I give him a cold stare and hold a finger to my lips. "Baby's asleep," I hiss.
"Sorry," he chuckles, popping something into his mouth. "I was just setting out the dishes. Chris coming?"
I shake my head. "No, he was going to visit his friend. Back home."
Riley nods in silent understanding and makes room on the table to bring over the-did he make chicken?
"Wow," I mutter. "Didn't know you could cook."
"I picked up a few things from you women," he muses with a smirk. "Then again, I always was pretty decent, just chose not to do shit."
I shove his shoulder and he laughs when I slink into his chair in front of him. "Funny. Where's Ev?"
"Taking her daily nap." He moves around the table to stand across from me, leaning his arms on the top of the chair. "You look good."
I blink. "Huh?"
"Oh, not like-" He gives a nervous laugh. "I mean, you seem good. In a good mood, at least."
Shrugging, I lean back in my seat. "I mean I've been good...I guess. What made you notice now?"
He sighs. "It's just...I know if he had asked anything of me, he would have wanted me to look out for you."
His somber expression and sad smile told me what he meant. Despite the obvious and constant tug inside me that made me miss him, it was a little comforting. I force a gentle tilt of my mouth. "Yeah, he would. Thanks."
Riley grins as bright as the sun at the small victory before something grabs his attention and his brows knit together, focusing. He turns his head slightly but doesn't take his eyes off me.
"What is it?" I mutter, my stomach already churning. That look was never good.
"I..." His eyebrows furrow more intensely as he tries to form words. He opens his mouth just as there's a knock on the door, my head snapping around.
Why did Riley look so pale?
Gritting my teeth, I rise from the table and make my way over. "Lex-"
I ignore him as I turn the knob, my skin feeling a degree warmer when I pull the door open. My head swims in soft greens and yellows for a moment until I could steady myself. I was trying to ride the wave of nostalgia and nausea all while staring at the eyes I never thought I'd see again.
His mouth is a flat line before his lips part and he gives a slanted weak smile. "Hey, darlin'."