Undercover

"It's...fine...how's it going over there?" Andy replied to Gerard on Skype one evening.

"We're in a rut to be honest, Andy. Tessler's still doing his same little routine. He's still watching but he just needs to bite. I keep thinking any day now, but we've been thinking that for months." Andy nodded understandingly, rubbing a weary hand over his face.

"You ok? How're you and Austin getting along?"

"We...um..yeah good."

"Andy..."

"No, seriously. Good." Gerard's eyebrows popped upwards in surprise.

"Really?" Austin stopped on the landing as he heard Andy talking to his boss in his bedroom.

"Yeah...he's...he's actually a nice guy."

"Nice? Andy he's a murderer. I thought you of all people would hold that over him till you parted ways." Austin's stomach clenched uncomfortably.

"Yeah but...I don't know. He's looked out for me a lot this past month. He's...I think there's more to that than we know about."

"Want me to pull his file so you can read what he said?" Austin fought the urge to burst into the room and stood there with his fists clenched instead.

"No...thanks but..I don't wanna go behind his back. If he wants me to know he'll tell me." Austin's eyes blew open in shock. Relief flooded him, and still a little sadness lingered.

"Ok well...just don't let him manipulate you into thinking he's a good person. He took a life."

"Yeah and so have you and I, Ger. And I'm sure if anyone took us up on that we'd say about the circumstances - self defence, we'd just discovered a storage unit filled with trafficked women inside, a hostage situation...it's no different to what Austin's saying."

"Well it is different because he's still not told you, has he? I wonder why that is."

"Oh- look, we're clearly not gonna agree on this so I'm gonna go and I'll talk to you soon. Let me know if you see anything unusual."

"Ok, likewise, bye." Andy slammed his laptop shut angrily and stormed out of his bedroom, head-first into Austin's chest. He bounced backwards.

"Oh! Sorry- wait, were you-" He gasped when Austin grabbed his wrists and slammed him up against the wall. A jolt of fear ran through him until Austin bent his head and kissed him hard. Andy resisted for all of two seconds, then, heart racing and blood rushing he gasped and pulled his wrists free so he could grab hold of the other man and pull him impossibly closer. Austin's stubble scratched wonderfully at his chin and his lips were so soft, and yet so hard in the power they were pushing against his own with. Austin's hips pushed against his and Austin let Andy swivel him round and push him up against the wall, pulling Andy closer to him, as close as he could. Relief at finally giving in to their urges surrounded them, but at the same time the stakes had been raised because now there was so much more that needed to be done than just kissing It felt like they'd only just pounced on one another, and also like they'd been doing it for years when they parted. Andy felt all the conflicting feelings wash over him as he took at step back, panting heavily, wondering if his lips looked as red and swollen as Austin's did. He wondered if he looked dishevelled and aroused....he wondered if Austin wanted to do all the things he himself wanted to.

"I...uh...wasn't expecting-"

"Me either."

"So what...?"

"I heard you defend me to your boss.....kinda....pushed me over the edge." Andy nodded, feeling his cheeks heat in embarrassment.

"Well...I...meant it." Austin's fingers were suddenly in his hair behind his ears, pulling his face up again to look at him.

"Thank you." Before kissing him slowly and deeply. Andy involuntarily let out a quiet whimper and Austin had to push him harder against the wall, digging one set of fingers into the bare skin they uncovered on his hip and tangling the other into his hair in an attempt to reign himself in. It was either hold him harder or do something he probably shouldn't. But Andy's reaction to his forcefulness didn't help matters and before he knew it thin hands were working on his belt.

Austin grabbed Andy's hands and pulled back with a slight pop as their lips disconnected, panting hard he met Andy's eyes heavy with arousal.
"Don't...don't tempt me if you're not prepared to deal with it afterwards..." Andy was surprised by that and collected himself as much as he could, trying and failing to ignore the straining erection in his pants.

"Don't be-" Andy cut himself off, Austin was right, this was a bad idea this would only cause trouble. But how he wanted those hands and that mouth on him, all over him, inside him.

Austin felt bitter disappointment bubble up inside him when he saw the uncertainty in Andy's eyes, and he let go of his pale hands sharply.

"Wh-where are you going?"

"I'm not doing this if you still don't trust me." Andy followed him.

"I just put my relationship with my boss who is also my friend, my reputation and my credibility on the line trying to persuade him that you're not a monster!"

"There's a long distance between 'not a monster' and trusting someone."

"I do trust you. I trust that if I got into shit out here you'd save my ass, even though you didn't want me here. I trust you, Austin-" Austin grabbed his wrists as he moved his hands towards his face. Andy felt his heart pound harder in a moment of fear when Austin's eyes turned deadly and the register of his voice lowered.

"Then why, in the moments when I surprise you..do you still look afraid of me...?" Andy looked up at him in shock and hated the pain he found there.

"Aust-" He began, but Austin had already disappeared into his bedroom.

Andy still felt disappointed in himself and frustrated to the core the next morning after a terrible nights sleep. Austin was cold and indifferent, so much so that Andy felt like a dog that had been scolded as he walked around guiltily.

Austin's guilt grazed on him constantly all day. Andy had hurt him, but not as drastically as he clearly thought he had. The knowledge that Andy was beating himself up so much over something that wasn't even that awful was driving Austin crazy, but he was too proud to admit that and apologise. And his guilt annoying him was making him act coldly and harshly, Austin knew it but he was struggling to change it. So when they ate in silence, cleared up in silence and Andy excused himself and didn't leave his room again that evening, Austin just went to bed, tired and extremely grumpy.

That night Austin got out of bed and went downstairs for water only to see Andy curled up in his armchair in the living room, Luna asleep at his feet. He looked sadly and adorably small at the same time and it made Austin feel even worse, and also gave him a pang of sad affection.

When he quietly turned the tap on, he jumped when Andy spoke.
"I'm sorry."

"Oh-! Sorry...I thought you were alseep...." He turned round and trailed off when he saw how sad Andy looked.

"Why are you sorry?" He sighed.

"Because of...the other night. I-"

"You didn't upset me that much I just got angry at the time, Andy."

"But yesterday...all day-"

"I was a proud asshole. I should've apologised to you, I'm sorry." Andy stood up and Austin felt a horribly unfamiliar wave of emotion hit him when Andy hugged him gently. He stood stock still for a moment, unsure of what to do before he awkwardly wrapped his arms round Andy's body.

"So are we ok?" Austin tilted his chin and kissed him deeply. When they parted Andy's face wasn't tinged with sadness any longer.