Keep Cool, Stay Tough

“Can you believe the weatherman was actually saying a huge storm was on its way?” I asked in disbelief as I stared up at the blue sky that was sparsely dotted with thin, white cotton candy clouds. The sunshine trickled down and combated with a cool breeze all around us.

I could have sworn I heard Mina mutter something along the lines, “Oh there’s a storm on the way.”
But when I pushed my sunglasses to the top of my head and looked away from the sky, she appeared completely caught up in a conversation about spring’s most fashionable colors with Chloe. We were sitting in close proximity to two other tables outside on the bistro’s patio, and I must’ve heard something incorrectly.

Mina and I had finally done the impossible and actually got completely caught up with our entire workload at the training grounds. In honor of our great achievement, Martha decided to allow us the afternoon to ourselves before tomorrow night’s home game against Athletico. Speaking of, I should probably get around to messaging Fernando and telling him off for the shoddy advice that I had finally gotten wind of.

“You’re the side chick,” Zoe blurted a tad too overzealously.

“What?” I asked and glanced at the other two to make sure that Zoe was addressing me. I furrowed my eyebrows and noticed Chloe and Mina solemnly nodding in agreement on either side of her. I would have burst out laughing if it didn’t feel so much like going to a doctor’s office and being told you have a week to live.

“You are the other woman, Senna, and we’re not sure if you are aware of that,” Zoe explained as the other two remained serious and silent.

“It’s not like that,” I stated in a matter of fact tone, “And I didn’t realize we were having an intervention. I wouldn’t just be drinking a Perrier for one thing.”

Chloe snickered until Zoe threw her a look.

“Darling, if he’s not announcing from the rooftops that’s he’s in love with you then you are a side chick,” Zoe was adamant on the matter.

“And you deserve more than that,” Chloe concluded.

Why were they even so sure I was dating someone? Which if you wanted to be completely technical I certainly was not.

“It’s not like that, at all,” I insisted, a derisive laugh escaping out of me, before I tacked on, “We’re outlets for each other to vent out our frustrations. We talk about our tough days and give advice when we can.”

Their group look of pity didn’t diminish.

“So there is a guy,” Chloe was the first to speak up.

“I’ve got this all completely under control, and I’m not pining over him, and he’s not pining over me, because we agreed early on that we are not going to take that step, that we won’t ruin this nice thing that keeps us sane,” I promised, as I began to search for our waiter in the crowded bistro so I could order a harder drink. And he’s also said on at least two occasions that he feels no attraction for me, which in retrospect did sting a bit.

“BUT YOU ARE!” All three of them simultaneously shouted at me.

“You are pining,” Mina specified as she lowered her voice for the woman sitting across from us threw a dirty, judgmental look towards our table.

Of course she would know, wouldn’t she?

“Even if you don’t see it, you are pining,” Zoe confirmed.

I frowned, my head at a tilt, unsure, “Am I?”

“Please, you are totally giving off signs of being in love, and trust me, no one’s blind to it,” Chloe answered, “Except maybe you.”

“Just talk to him, whoever the hell he is, about it, you never know, maybe he’s just as inclined as you are, maybe he wants to take a step down a different path than what you guys originally mapped out,” Chloe suggested.

I didn’t want Chloe’s proposition to seem as if it was falling on deaf ears, even though it kind of was because really, what do they know about this?

“And even if he says no, you can just go back to what you had,” Zoe tacked on.

“Sure,” I pretended to concede as I slid my sunglasses back on and rolled my head back to stare up at the sky. It took all the willpower I had to push the sarcasm out of my tone. I could just tell them that I tried and it didn’t work out. There was no point in getting confrontational over this. They had their opinion set, and so did I. So did Cristiano for that matter.

I stood up abruptly and mumbled something about needing the ladies room and disappeared inside the bistro and away from their prying eyes.

Sometimes I honestly did wonder about the sort of reaction Mina, or even Zoe and Chloe, would give if I were to go crazy and admit to them who all of this was about. Every time I thought about it the outcome was always a little bit different. There was always something new to factor into the equation. Only thing that remained consistent was that I would have to be in a pretty desperate situation to out Cristiano and me. And so instead I reminded myself to keep cool and stay tough.

I had spoken to Cristiano early in the morning when I had gone to get coffee from the cafeteria. It had been brief, and I could tell that he was waiting for me to ask about his date with Gemma, just like he had asked about my dinner with Fernando, but I could not say the words he was expecting to hear. Instead I made my work my excuse, grabbed my coffee, and went back inside.

I didn’t expect to see him again until he was stretching on the pitch before the match started at the Bernabéu tomorrow night. I was already mentally preparing myself to ask about Gemma at the reminder when I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket.

“What’s wrong?” I heard Mina ask, and I hadn’t even realized I had kept on walking back outside to our table.

“He’s messaging me,” I looked up at the three of them pretending not to be as surprised as I actually felt. This was not the norm, when we go outside the norm things get complicated – in the worst way possible.

“That’s….good?” Zoe hazarded uncertainly.

“He said he needs to talk to me, and it must be something important if…,” I trailed off.

“Okay, but you need to talk to him too about something equally, if not more important, so just keep that in mind,” Chloe ordered.

I nodded and grabbed my bag and cardigan off my chair, “I shall keep you guys posted.”
This impromptu lunch was certainly a wakeup call if nothing else. I had to hand it to my friends for respecting me enough to not demand I go public with his name. They still trusted my judgment even though they thought I was oblivious about the mess I had stepped into.

I glanced up at the sky one final time before getting inside a taxi and saw rolling grey clouds beginning to block out the sun. This certainly did feel like being caught clueless before a storm.

***

Twenty minutes later and I was stepping inside the team’s ornate hotel and looking for a guy at the concierge desk named Carlos per Cristiano’s peculiar request. There was only a girl at the front desk, but before I could ask about Carlos, I heard someone impatiently clear their throat behind me. I turned around and saw Iker and Sergio standing side by side directly behind me. Fuck.

“Hello,” I greeted, acting as nonchalant as I possibly could as I tried to think of a single legitimate reason why I would be at their hotel.

“I thought you had the day off,” Sergio said.

“What better way to spend it with friends?” I asked in return, hoping they don’t register the uncertainty in my voice.

“Come on then, we’re going to the game room the hotel finally finished remodeling. We’re going to watch your people get owned by the Parisians later tonight over there too, you should stay,” Sergio waved for me to follow after them without asking anymore questions. Iker looked more skeptical, but thankfully chose not to comment.

I forced a laugh and followed after them at a snail’s pace as I looked around for Cristiano or someone who could possibly be Carlos from concierge as we left the main lobby. Oh fuck me.

I pulled out my phone and snapped a photo of Iker and Sergio from behind and sent it to Cristiano with the comment: I got shanghaied.

A reply came a moment later: They’re probably taking you to see the new foosball table. I’ll be there in a minute.

Iker imitating a drum roll brought my attention off of my phone and onto the unveiling of this brand new game room that they both seemed so excited about. Sergio pushed open the door and I stepped inside.

Alright so admittedly the game room was awesome. There was a massive flat screen propped up on one wall with a trio of cushy leather couches set before it. On the wall opposite there was a row of arcade games all glowing and flashing in bold neon hues. And of course at the very center of the room was the already popular foosball table that was surrounded by the likes of Karim, Raphael, Gareth, and James. Toni and Luka were the ones manning the pulleys on either side of the table. I glanced around and saw Javier sitting with Alvero and Fabio on the couch watching the pregame for Barcelona’s match. Iker and I were both already inching towards the couches while Sergio made a direct beeline for the foosball table.

“Senna!”

I whipped my head back towards the door so quickly, I felt my neck crack. And there he was standing in all his glory looking for me. Cristiano’s eyes locked on mine, and I think I was the only that noticed the twitch to his lips that was barely hiding a laugh, “Senna, you’re here! Martha’s been looking everywhere for you!”

“But is everything alright?” I asked, feigning panic as I came to my feet and rushed past the door Cristiano was holding open for me.

“You need to come with me right now!” He insisted loudly even though I was already out the door and nobody was really paying attention to us anyway. I was giggling like a preteen playing hooky for the first time.

“Try to come back to watch the game,” I heard Sergio call after me.

“I will,” I answered, trying to stifle my laughter.

“You will?” Cristiano asked.

“Why not?”

He shrugged, “You want to watch Barcelona’s game with them?”

“They’re not going to lose, Cris, they have one foot in the semis already,” I scoffed.

He chuckled, but didn’t comment further.

Instead Cristiano led me to a secluded garden patio just outside of the hotel kitchens, next to the pool; the garden was completely hidden by thick, green bushes that were as tall as Cristiano. Ivy crawled up over windows and the thick, soft grass tickled my exposed ankles. It was cool and untouched by the sun’s rays. At the very center of the garden a table had been set up with a colorful array of decoratively plated sushi.

“So what brought on the sushi cravings? Should you even be eating raw fish?” I asked as I turned around to face him.

“I’m not pregnant, Senna,” He joked, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

I shrugged and sat across from him; I’d had weirder lunches or was this an early dinner? Nothing immediately came to mind, but still.

“It’s Fàbregas,” Cristiano spoke low and deliberately, “I’m not in any mood to beat around the bush about this anymore.”

“This whole time I was wondering what was so urgent you needed to me talk about,” I replied in mild surprise as once again the theory of breaking the norm would complicate things was proved correct once more.

“I’ve known, for awhile I’ve known.” Surprisingly, he didn’t appear as if he’d just completed a challenging riddle. He was as sullen and serious as I’d ever seen him.

“You’re smarter than you look,” I was just trying to lighten the mood, but nothing changed. His frown stayed on. I found myself frowning in return.

“Don’t go, Senna, just don’t go to London, get that idea out of your head.”

“I can’t move on with my life properly unless I go talk to him,” I insisted quietly as I busied myself with rubbing off the excess wood shavings off of my chopsticks. I couldn’t stand to look at Cristiano’s pleading expression; it somehow just didn’t suit him.

Every time the subject of Cesc came up, Cristiano and I just went around the same heavily treaded path, only now I knew he knew who my ex-boyfriend was.

“Yes, you can, you can try,” He maintained, “You can talk to Mina, I’m sure she can help somehow.”
“Please Cris, she’s worse off than I am. She’s still in love with her ex, and what’s worse is she believes he’s still holding a candle for her too,” I argued, regret rushing over me for allowing this problem to affect me for so long.

“You really don’t have another option?”He asked, “Why can’t he come to Spain? Why do you need to go to England?”

“Because I’m the one that needs closure,” I clarified, “Not him.”

“That shouldn’t matter, Senna.”

“I don’t care about what he wants anymore, that’s my point. When I go to London I am going for myself. I am going so that I can move on once and for all.”

How do I explain to him that the biggest reason why I was so completely set on doing this was for him? If I were to follow Zoe, and even to a certain extent, Fernando’s advice, I would need to understand the mistakes I made in the past so that I wouldn’t repeat them in the future, and I
wouldn’t just be plunging into a rebound relationship with him.

“How soon?”

“Soon, as soon I can,” I reaffirmed.

“Let me come with you,” He offered.

I almost laughed, that was completely crazy, “What?”

“Don’t go alone.”

“Thank you for offering, I can’t even explain how much that means to me, but I can’t ask you to do that, and I don’t want to talk about this anymore with you, or with anyone, it’s distracting, we have much more pressing matters coming up. Your pressing matters,” I pointed towards him with a chopstick dripping with soy sauce.

“There’s nothing pressing to talk about. We’re going to win tomorrow because we have to and because we’re more than capable of it. I mean, I’m fit, and you have to admit, that’s pretty important.”

I couldn’t hide my joy when Cristiano chose to understand ‘pressing matters’ as tomorrow’s match instead of his date with Gemma the night before.

“So important,” I concede, albeit sarcastically, through a mouth full of salmon and wasabi.
“I was thinking about that today actually,” I announced.

“About what?”

“After you guys win-“

“What, are you going to do, ditch me again?” He cut me off, the tuna roll slipping away from his chopsticks, “Go provide emotional support for Torres?”

“Ditch you?” I coughed, wasabi hitting the wrong spot at the back of my throat, “That’s a bit heavy, mate.”

He shook his head and waved his hand between the two of us, “What is this at the end of the day?”
“Stress relief?” I said it like I was asking a question. Well it was most of the time anyway.

“Sure, fine that works, and that night, think about it, that was a stressful night for me, and all I wanted was to have dinner and curse the injustice of it all,” Cristiano explained, “And where were you?”

“You’re never going to let it go, are you?” My lips twitched upwards into a lopsided smile as Cristiano fumed.

“Never,” He was obstinate.

I almost flicked an edamame bean dipped in wasabi and soy sauce at him.

“You have an out,” I bargained instead.

“I have a what?”

“You can flake on me completely out of the blue, one time only, and I will not get mad, in fact we will pretend like it didn’t even happen. There, how does that sound?”

He stuffed his mouth with a spicy tuna roll and arched a brow. I waited like the sweet, patient stress-reliever that I am.

“Fine.”

“And you’ll never bring up this dark spot up in our friendship again?” I hedged with a hopeful smile.

“Oh no, that’s going to always be brought up again and again. I like seeing you squirm when you feel guilty about something,” He grinned back.

I made a face and scoffed, “I don’t feel guilty.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Ok, fine, but just a little.”

“So tomorrow if you guys win,” I began.

“When, but go on,” Cristiano interrupted again.

“Right, sure, but I say we do a group thing, really celebrate, properly celebrate, because honestly it’s going to be a huge deal.”

“Okay,” He agreed, “That sounds like a good plan.”