Status: active
The Wolves
prologue
"Does it even matter? ...Do I even matter?"
He stared at me, that sad look in his eye that told me I didn't want to know the answer to my question. His hand touched my upper arm and all I could do was flinch away - I saw hurt flash across his face, and a sudden war broke out inside of me over whether or not I was glad. I'd spent the past five years wanting to get through to him; to just make him feel something, but now that he was and now that he understood the pain I'd been through, I felt nothing but regret. I looked at him and for the first time in my life I realised that the boy stood in front of me wasn't who I thought he was; he wasn't who I needed. For the first time ever, I really accepted it was over.
"You didn't use to flinch away from me like that." he muttered, hands dropping to his sides as his eyes fell to the ground, seemingly intrigued by the piece of gum that sat beside my shoe, "But then..." I watched the cogs turn in his mind as he concluded, "I guess nothing is the way it used to be."
I bit my tongue, preventing myself from profusely word-vomiting out an apology. Instead I nodded, blinking back the tears in my eyes, only to fail miserably as one dripped down my cheek, "And who's fault is that?"
He sighed, swallowed hard and shrugged, "Mine. It's always my fault, I know that. Just let me make it right."
I took a long, deep breath and shut my eyes, "I can't give you another chance."
"I know."
"So why do you ask me to?"
"It's always worth a shot." he scoffed in sort of a sarcastic laughter, shook his head once before finally bringing his eyes to meet mine, " You were always worth a shot."
For a moment, I almost got lost in him - for a split second, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes, the same pair of green eyes appearing in all of the memories as the ones that were staring at me right now. "I wish I could believe you."
That seemed to hit him, because he didn't argue; didn't even attempt to, "Well, you do have every reason not to."
"I wanna ask you a question though - you need to promise me something." he didn't reply, just nodded, "promise me you'll never come back."
There was a dead silence as he stared at me, gritting his teeth together as his eyes went cloudy, "...I promise to never come back."
For the first time in our relationship, I'd felt like I'd found a promise that Harry Styles would actually keep. Of all the lies he'd ever told, I knew that this was the truth hidden amongst them. Harry wasn't ever coming back.
He stared at me, that sad look in his eye that told me I didn't want to know the answer to my question. His hand touched my upper arm and all I could do was flinch away - I saw hurt flash across his face, and a sudden war broke out inside of me over whether or not I was glad. I'd spent the past five years wanting to get through to him; to just make him feel something, but now that he was and now that he understood the pain I'd been through, I felt nothing but regret. I looked at him and for the first time in my life I realised that the boy stood in front of me wasn't who I thought he was; he wasn't who I needed. For the first time ever, I really accepted it was over.
"You didn't use to flinch away from me like that." he muttered, hands dropping to his sides as his eyes fell to the ground, seemingly intrigued by the piece of gum that sat beside my shoe, "But then..." I watched the cogs turn in his mind as he concluded, "I guess nothing is the way it used to be."
I bit my tongue, preventing myself from profusely word-vomiting out an apology. Instead I nodded, blinking back the tears in my eyes, only to fail miserably as one dripped down my cheek, "And who's fault is that?"
He sighed, swallowed hard and shrugged, "Mine. It's always my fault, I know that. Just let me make it right."
I took a long, deep breath and shut my eyes, "I can't give you another chance."
"I know."
"So why do you ask me to?"
"It's always worth a shot." he scoffed in sort of a sarcastic laughter, shook his head once before finally bringing his eyes to meet mine, " You were always worth a shot."
For a moment, I almost got lost in him - for a split second, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes, the same pair of green eyes appearing in all of the memories as the ones that were staring at me right now. "I wish I could believe you."
That seemed to hit him, because he didn't argue; didn't even attempt to, "Well, you do have every reason not to."
"I wanna ask you a question though - you need to promise me something." he didn't reply, just nodded, "promise me you'll never come back."
There was a dead silence as he stared at me, gritting his teeth together as his eyes went cloudy, "...I promise to never come back."
For the first time in our relationship, I'd felt like I'd found a promise that Harry Styles would actually keep. Of all the lies he'd ever told, I knew that this was the truth hidden amongst them. Harry wasn't ever coming back.