Failure by Design

I glanced in the rearview mirror to check before changing lanes and something caught my eye: there was something chasing the van. “What the hell…” I muttered. I watched intently in the rearview mirror, trying to figure out just what was behind us. The dark road we drove made it difficult to discern what it was. I pressed lightly on the brakes to illuminate behind me and lit only by the light of the van’s brake lights was a brunette girl. She took long strides behind the van, trying in vain to catch up with us. I groaned lightly, switching my blinker to the other side to pull off the road.

“What’re you doing, man?” Kennedy asked, looking at me with an eyebrow cocked. “Is there something wrong with the van?” I shook my head at him and threw my hand back, blindly pointing towards the maniac running behind us. Kennedy chuckled and told the rest of the guys who began to chuckle along with him. I’m glad they found it amusing because I found it fucking annoying.

“Good move pulling over, John. Way too fucking hot for her to be running out there.” Jared told me, slapping me on the shoulder. “So who has to deal with her?” He laughed and leaned back in his seat.

“Well, John’s driving, so naturally he should.” Garrett chimed in, a cocky grin growing on his face.
“No fucking way.” I flatlined, hands gripping tight on the steering wheel. This was ridiculous. I should’ve just kept driving. But Jared was right, she would have a heat stroke in this weather. I glanced over all of them, unmoving, and unfaltering. I sighed, “Fine, I’ll do it.” I flung the car into park and unbuckled, throwing my seatbelt back.

I slowly stepped out of our worn down, written on van, and pushed my hair out of my face as the tall brunette slowed to a stop and almost fell. I threw my arms out to catch and steady her to make sure she didn’t face plant onto the gravel.

“You good, darlin’?” I asked flatly, bothered by the fact that she was setting us behind. She clutched her hand to her chest and struggled to catch her breath so that she could speak. Her long black nails dug lightly into her tan skin and her chest rose and fell.

She was obviously still struggling to breathe as she just nodded, wide blue eyes staring up at me. I was surprised by her composed demeanor; no screams, no crying, just, you know, trouble breathing. But I wrote that off on the crazed running.

She timidly brushed a hair behind her ear with one hand while still clutching onto me for support. The wind blew again, knocking her hair from behind her ear once again. I chuckled down at her, still waiting on some semblance of words.

The girl finally began to catch her breath while looking around. I could almost see her mind racing, trying to collect her thoughts and her breathing. I followed her gaze down to our hands and we both came to the realization at once that we were still holding onto each other. Quickly, we let go of each other and I swung my arm down, wiping my hand on my jeans. She avoided eye contact and began to fiddle with the bracelets on her arm. Was she ever going to say anything? Or was she just here to stare at me awkwardly?

The guys must have sensed the nature of the situation as they quickly filed out of the van behind me. They all stood their awkwardly unsure of what to do. The girl brought her attention away from the scenery around us and finally focused on the space beside my head. It was as though she was attempting to give the illusion of looking at me without making eye contact.

Pat stepped forward and held his hand towards her, trying to cut through the awkward feeling in the air. “Hey, what’s your name?” His smiled, his hand lingering in the air just a little too long as she stared blankly at him.

She shook her head, seemingly knocking herself from her daze, “I-I’m Dylan.” She smiled shyly, playing with her bracelets again. I ran my hand through my hair, assessing the situation and laughed seemingly softly to myself.

Garrett turned to me, “Dude, what’s so funny?” I hadn’t realized I had laughed that loud, which caused me to blush slightly before answering.

“I just feel stupid,” I scratched my arm nervously before laughing again, “I just, I walked out here and didn’t bother to ask her name.” I shrugged and turned back to face the girl. She paused for a second, studying my face, before speaking again.

“It’s not that funny…” She said, looking up at me with confusion evident on her face. I began to feel uncomfortable and looked to the guys for support but they all nodded in agreement with the brunette standing in front of me.

“Umm, yeah, I guess you’re right.” I ran my hand through my hair as I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. What the hell was I embarrassed for? Jared stifled a laugh as I struggled to cover the color in my cheeks.

“Uh, well I just was wondering if I could get y’all to record like a 10 second video saying hey to my mom because she was supposed to come today but she got in a car accident and had to handle that and she was so upset and I thought that would make her happy.” She paused and took a deep breath to recover from her rambling, “I’m sorry if it seems creepy, I just, I-I gotta keep her happy, ya know?” She looked away, clearly feeling uncomfortable and regretting her decision to chase the van.

“Oh my god, is she okay?” Pat grabbed her shoulders and spun her around, seemingly very concerned. Pat always was the one to be overly concerned for people that he doesn’t really know. It was part of his charm, actually. People tend to love people that actually give a fuck.

“I mean, duh, why would I be here if she wasn’t?” She laughed, trying to lighten the situation a little. “She broke her leg, but otherwise she’s fine. She wouldn’t let me stay home and take care of her, so I figured this was the least I could do.” Dylan shrugged, pushing her short dark hair behind her ear.

“Oh good!” Pat smiled, “Well, tell her we hope she heals super fast!” He also had the tendency of using way too many superlatives. But, I mean, at least he always seemed super happy about everything.

She looked sheepishly at the ground, unsure if she should say what was going through her mind. I felt my heart soften, as I could tell she wasn’t going to make the request again in fear of bothering us.

“She asked if we’d record it for her, guys. Telling her to pass on the message isn’t what she wants.” I mumbled, scratching the back of my head.

“Oh! I mean its fine, the fact that you said it at all is probably fine. I know y’all’ve got stuff to do and I don’t wanna keep y’all longer than I already have. I’m just gonna walk back to the venue now because I left my friend there and totally forgot, so thanks guys!” She waved and smiled before turning on her heel to walk back to the venue.

“No, no, wait!” Kennedy called after her. She turned to look back at us, the wind catching her hair and blowing it behind her. “We’ll do it! And we can drive you back to the venue too; you don’t need to walk back in this heat.” He waved her back over to us with a soft smile. She grinned up at him before moving back towards us.

“No, we don-“ I started before Pat cut me off.

“Yeah! Just come get in the van and we’ll record it as we drive back to the venue. It’s not like it’s a far drive. You couldn’t have run that far.” He smiled at her, motioning her to follow him to the van. She followed behind him, shyly, unsure of if she should actually follow him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Pat open the front passenger side door for her an her attempt to gracefully climb into the van.
I felt the gravel grind beneath my shoes as I turned sharply, hurrying back to the driver’s side. I got into the van with a groan and slammed the door behind me. The bang from the door echoed within the car and I saw the girl jump slightly in the seat beside me. I laughed at her nervous reaction before looking over at her. “Okay, so let’s do this.” I said, pulling the van away from the curb and heading back to the venue.

“Um, okay,” she said nervously, tapping her fingers on her thigh. “I guess just say like ‘hey mom, sorry you missed the show,’ or some shit like that, I don’t know have fun with it.” She shrugged. I chuckled at the way she was beginning to ramble.

She turned around and turned the video on Pat, “Okay go.”

“Hey, it’s Pat from The Maine,” He started, looking awkwardly at Dylan. “And Dylan chased down our van to get you this video, so I’d say you’re pretty damn lucky to have such a great daughter.” Dylan giggled and looked away and Kennedy grabbed the phone, recording himself. As Kennedy pulled the phone away Pat mumbled, “Oh fuck, I cursed, is that a bad thing? Is she gonna hate me?” Dylan shook her head at him, giggling.

“Yeah, totally, Mrs…Dylan’s mom! But anyway, we’re super sorry you couldn’t make it to the show!” he turned the camera to Garrett and Jared and they all started talking at once.

“We hope you can make it out again!” Jared shouted.

“Yeah it sucks about your leg, mom.” Garrett chuckled, scratching his beard.

“Ignore them.” I sighed, snatching the phone. “Anyway. we’re sorry about what happened and we really hope you can make it out soon!” I smiled at the camera, “Say bye guys!” A chorus of goodbyes rang out behind me and I pressed the end button and handed the phone to Dylan.

She checked to make sure the video saved and smiled up at me, “Thanks guys.” I maintained eye contact with the brunette for a second, taking in her bright blue eyes and dimples, observing details I missed during my moody introduction. She was a lot cuter than she had originally seemed. Though it was likely that this was because she was no longer doubled over panting from chasing our van.

“Yeah, of course!” Pat bounced, wrapping his arms around the back of her seat and resting his chin beside her head. I reached over and flipped the radio back on, causing the stereo to blare A Rocket To The Moon’s newest album, Wild & Free. I quietly hummed along and noticed her singing silently beside me.

“You like Rocket?” I asked, looking over. She jumped at the sound of my voice. I started to feel offended by her sharp reaction, but decided to write it off as her snapping out of her thoughts.

She nodded lightly, “I mean, yeah? Honestly, who likes y’all that doesn’t like Rocket?”

The guys laughed behind us, “She’s right, John.” Kennedy patted my shoulder condescendingly as they mocked me for my question.

“Okay, damn. Just trying to make conversation.” The guys always had a way of putting me down when I said something stupid. They always claimed it was because I have the reputation of the ‘thoughtful, philosophic one’ but honestly, it’s all just a well managed front I put on. I brushed off their commentary and pulled the van up to the curb of the venue. The van rocked back as I shifted it into park.

“Hey, it was a good try.” Dylan patted me lightly on the shoulder. She looked at me condescendingly, but for some reason it didn’t bother me. Usually condescension would drive me up the wall, but this merely made me chuckle. I tried to hide my laugh by looking out the window, but my smile was met by a blonde girl angrily walking toward the van.

“Oh shit.” I heard Dylan mutter beside me before slowly opening the door, body tensed. I followed her out of the van, curious as to why she was so nervous all of the sudden. I hurried to the passenger side of the van and leaned against it to watch and make sure everything was okay.

“Where the hell have you been, Dyl?” Hadley shouted, pointing sternly at the center of Dylan’s chest. Her eyes flicked to me, confusion filling them before anger returned.

“I told you! I needed to get that video for mom.” She reasoned, her voice firm and confident. You could see she was struggling to remain stern, wanting to come across as sure of herself.

“You never told me that!” Hadley yelled back, trying to break the false demeanor that Dylan was trying to maintain.

“I so did! I yelled it back at you as I took off.” Dylan defended herself, raising her voice to match the level of her friend’s.

“Dyl, you really think I heard that?” She sounded like a mother yelling at her child about forgetting to ask permission to go to a friend’s house.

“I had to go!” Hadley eyed Dylan angrily, “But-but! I had to for mom and then I got tired and they stopped and they did the video and, an- an- an- an- an- mmmmmmmm sorry.” Dylan whimpered, eyes growing wide. I watched as her strong, confident facade crumbled before my eyes and she became the helpless puppy that her eyes portrayed. I laughed lightly at her nervous response and sudden change in temperament. I felt Hadley’s eyes on me once again. She seemed the controlling type, one who had to dominate the relationship.

“What?” Hadley spat at me, moving towards me and away from Dylan. Why did she feel the need to take her anger out on me? “The fuck do you think is so funny?”

“You two,” I smirked, “just…amusing.” I stood up a little taller and looked down at her, trying as Dylan had to match her temperament.

“Shut up, John.” She retorted. I held my hands up in surrender, sending her back to her tirade at Dylan. Hadley turned and grasped Dylan’s wrist and began to pull her away.

“What’re you doing, Had?” Dylan asked, yanking her wrist away, “I didn’t even get a chance to thank them. Don’t be rude.” Dylan turned back to me and began to speak, “Tha-”

“Dylan, they don’t have time for us, let’s go.” She said sternly, interrupting her gratitude.

“She’s right, we do need to go.” I added, trying to alleviate the situation. I began walking towards them and stuck my hand out, “It was nice meeting you Dylan,” I paused and then nodded, “Hadley.” Dylan placed her hand lightly in mine to shake it and Hadley ignored the gesture and turned to walk away.

“Thanks guys!” Dylan yelled, waving at the boys in the van. They waved back enthusiastically from inside the van. I walked back to the driver’s side of the van and stood up on the step, watching them for a second. Dylan smiled over at me and I slid my sunglasses down my nose and winked at her before getting back into the van to drive away.

*****

The black asphalt whipped past my glazed eyes. I glanced quickly at the radio’s clock. I had been driving for six hours and I didn’t remember any of it. The speedometer caught my eye as I was checking the gauges. 90. “Shit.” I slowed down to 75 hoping cops would let me go for the extra five miles per hour.

I tried to trace my thoughts over the past six hours, but I couldn’t find something to take the blame. There had to be something that had kept me distracted for that long, but the more I pondered it, the more lost in my thoughts I became and soon I looked up and we were 15 miles from our destination.

I glanced around the van in the rearview mirror finding my bandmates sleeping as comfortably as you could in a ten passenger van. Pat, on the other hand, sat wide awake beside me, drumming lightly on his inner thigh to the music on the radio. He seemed as zoned out as I was, so I assumed he wouldn’t notice how zoned out I was. I returned to my thoughts, hoping to make it to our destination in peace.

Unfortunately for me, my peace was quickly interrupted by a questioning Pat, “Dude, what’s with you? You’ve been zoned out for hours.” Shit.

I forced a laugh before speaking, “Ahh, nothing, man. I’m just tired.” I lied, still searching for the reason for my pensive state. I scratched my eyebrow and returned my hand to the steering wheel.

“Want me to take over, then?” Pat suggested.

“Nah, man. We’re like ten minutes out.” I shrugged, continuing to our hotel.