Failure by Design

After spending a decent amount of time restoring our house to its former glory, Hadley and I settled down on the couch to watch a movie and try to get my mind off of my missing possession. Hadley had put in Almost Famous, my favorite movie, in hopes of it calming me down. I was incredibly thankful for a friend like that. Someone who would sit through this movie for the ten thousandth time just to make me feel better.

I lay my head in her lap as we watched and she mindlessly played with my hair, seemingly off in her own stream of conscious. I was finally starting to settle when there was a knock at the door.

I groaned impulsively and muttered into her stomach. “Had, go get it. I’m too lazy.” I looked up at her with a small smile when I finished my sentence, hoping that she wold do as I asked.

“You’re lucky I love you, Dyl.” She rolled her eyes at me as she got up, dropping my head onto the couch. I rolled over so that I could continue watching the movie while she went to the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I heard her shout at what I could only assume was another set of knocks. Who the hell is here? Did she order food and not tell me? I hope it’s Chinese. I had settled back into my thoughts and into the couch when I heard a small squeal from Hadley before she called out, “Uhh, Dylan! I think it’s for you!”

I began to unravel myself from my cocoon of blankets as I spoke, “Who the fuck is here to see me? I don’t have any friends.” I laughed at my own joke before I continued muttering, “Couldn’t you have just told whoever it is to come in? I was comfy and now I’m cold and I had to move and this is ri-” I stopped mid-sentence as I made eye contact with the lanky man at the door. “John!” I said excitedly, starting to move in for a hug before realizing I didn’t actually know him that well. “Wh-what’re you doing here?”

“I found this in the van!” He replied with a little too much enthusiasm as he held out my missing wallet.

“Holy shit! No way. Thank you so much, I’ve been looking everywhere for that!” This time I ignored the fact that we weren’t that close and pulled him in for a hug. He hugged me back and left his hand resting on the small of my back as Hadley began to speak.

“So, uhh, did you drive here alone to bring her that?” She looked at him like he was crazy, hands placed firmly on her hips like a mom.

“Wha- Oh no, the rest of the band and Rocket are in the van.” He answered, confused by her tone of voice.

“So you drove all the way from Las Vegas and now you’re just gonna turn around and go back to Arizona?” She asked, being way too logical in my opinion. “Wait! Rocket’s here?” She asked, looking at him hopefully, a complete one-eighty on her previous demeanor.

“Yeah, they’re in the van…” He looked at her and raised an eyebrow, “And no, we have a secret show here in like a week, so we just decided to come hang here.” He shrugged as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Johno! Did you ask about staying here?” Nick yelled from the passenger seat of the van.

John put his hand on his face in exasperation, “No, Nick, I hadn’t.” He responded over his shoulder, put off by the yelling from his friend.

“Ya’ll can totally stay here!” Hadley chirped, completely out of her funky mood.

“Oh, sweet! Really?” John asked, excited.

“Yeah, of course!” I answered, “It’s kinda tight, but we can double bunk and make it work.” I smiled up at him and he turned and waved the rest of the bands to the house.

The guys streamed into the house, each holding a small duffle with their belongings, and they immediately made themselves at home. No invitation needed.

“So, uhh, we have two beds, a pull out couch and a futon. Fight for them. Hadley and I will be in my room. Go.” I said, nonchalantly, not wanting to deal with the pain of organizing sleeping arrangements. There was a mad dash in the direction of the bedrooms, and Hadley and I followed behind, making sure there was no damage done in the dash.

“YES. We got the big bed.” I heard Pat shout from my room. I rounded the corner and laughed a little bit before responding.

“Pat, sweetie, this is my room. Off limits.” I smiled at him as I tried to keep myself from laughing at the look of disappointment on his face.

“Dammit.” He and Garrett sulked out of my room and towards the den, knowing they would be the ones on the couch.

I turned to walk into Hadley’s room and found John and Halvo sitting on the bed, victorious looks covering their faces. “Of course you two ended up here.” Kennedy said, shaking his head and laughing as he walked back to the den. Hadley and I looked at him, confused before continuing back towards the den, Halvo and John close behind.

“Holy shit! Is this Almost Famous?” Nick yelled, “I fucking love this movie!”

“Really?” I asked, excited, “This is my favorite movie!” I plopped down on the couch beside him and resumed the movie. He smiled at me for a second before refocusing on the television.

It had never occurred to me just how small our den was until we were trying to comfortably fit eleven people in it. But there were no complaints from the boys. Well of course there weren’t, they were staying here for free. It was amazing how they just settled in, immediately comfortable. I guess it’s something you have to get used to doing when you live a life like they do.

*****

As the movie came to a close, I noticed the boys beginning to nod off, and made the executive decision to be the first to run off to bed. I yawned as I began to speak, “I think I’m gonna head to bed.” I stood up from the couch, adjusting my clothes, “Don’t wake me up when you come, Had. Night boys!” A series of “Night, Dylan”s rung out as I exited the room and moved to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

I watched myself in the mirror as I took of my make up, transforming into a completely different face. My thoughts began to wander as I went through my nightly process. It had become second nature and I no longer needed to focus on my tasks. It’s so strange that they’re just here. People I’ve looked up to for years, just chilling on my couch, treating me like just another person. Not thinking of me as some fan girl, even though just a few days ago I was chasing their fucking van. It was weird. I didn’t like how fast it was and how comfortable I was getting so easily. I never got comfortable around people fast and this was really freaking me out.

“Dylan! Let me in I need to pee.” Hadley’s whining interrupted my stream of thoughts. I moved to open the door with a murmured “sorry” and resumed my process by beginning to brush my teeth.

Hadley sat down and started peeing before I actually acknowledged her, “Wait, why’re you in my bathroom? You have your own.”

“John and Halvo are in my room and I didn’t want them to hear me peeing. Duh.” She answered like I was the stupidest person in the world.

“Ohhh, that would make sense my bad.” I chuckled as much as I could with a toothbrush in my mouth. I leaned over the sink and spit, “Is everyone settled? I.E. can I walk out in little shorts and not be judged?” I asked motioning to the tiny shorts and tank top I had put on to sleep in.

“Yeah, you should be good, Dyl.” She said starting to begin her before bed process.

“Mkay! I’ll see you in bed; I’m gonna get some water.” I slid out the door and scurried to the kitchen, trying to keep my feet off of the cold hardwoods.

I rounded the corner, and ran smack into Nick Santino. “Fuck.” I muttered as his hands shot out to grab my arms and keep me from falling. I looked up at him and found his eyes wandering over me. I quickly covered my chest with my arms and he dropped his hands from my arms and began scratching his head.

“Uh, sorry for, uhh, running into you. I wasn’t paying attention.” He stammered and started to walk further into the kitchen.

“Weren’t you going that way, darlin’?” I asked, pointing the opposite direction.

“Yeah, I got distracted. I’ll, uhh, see you in the morning, Dyl. Night.” He went to hug me, arms stiff.

“Night, Nick.” I smiled sweetly, confused by the awkward nature of our encounter. I walked to the counter and reached up to grab a cup off the top shelf. I fixed my glass of water and gulped it down, placing my cup in the sink as I took the last sip.

I began to walk back down the hallway, arms crossed over my chest. I was softly singing to myself as I walked down the hallway, excited to get in bed and relax.

“Hey Dylan, can you come here a sec?” I heard from Hadley’s room. Fuck. It was John.

“Yeah, of course.” I said, mentally cursing myself for taking my make up off earlier. As I entered the familiar room, I saw John sitting in the middle of the bed, cross legged and Halvo sitting in the desk chair, fiddling with his phone.

Halvo and I made eye contact. Then he looked at John. Then back at me. “…I think I’ll leave.” He said awkwardly as he moved his gawky frame out of the chair and out the door past me. John and I laughed at him for a second before we made eye contact and he tapped the bed in front of him indicating me to sit down.

I sat on the bed in front of him, pulling a pillow into my lap. I fiddled with the tassels on the comforter as I waited for him to start speaking.

“So, err, thanks for letting us stay here.” He finally said, leaning forward crossing his arms over his legs. The distance between us growing smaller by the second. Was that actually happening? Or was the room just getting smaller because I was nervous?

“Oh, of course! I wouldn’t have thought otherwise.” I replied enthusiastically. Maybe a little too enthusiastically, but hindsight’s 20/20, right? I smiled up at him for a second before I realized that our hands were lightly touching. I felt color begin to rise into my cheeks and I pulled my hand back, awkwardly.

Hadley walked in right as I pulled my hand back and gazed up at John, my mind rushing. “Hey, Dylan-Oh, I’ll leave you two be.” she said drearily. She turned to quickly and awkwardly walk out of the room.

“I, uhh, I should get to bed.” I said, starting to uncross my legs to get off the bed.

“Yeah, me too,” He said, scratching the back of his neck. “Thanks again, Dylan.”

“Goodnight, John.” I smiled, turning to walk out of the room.

“Night, Dyl. Sweet dreams.” I didn’t hear any movement behind me as I left the room.

I walked into my room to Hadley and Halvo sitting on my bed talking.

“Halvo, you’re all clear.” I laughed, hoping to get the lanky boy off my bed.

“Thank God.” He laughed, hopping off my bed and muttering ‘goodnights’ as he ran out of the room.