Bad Luck Hannah

I would never come out of this library ever again.
Like ever.
EVER.
it was last period, and I was cowering in the back of the library, at the table no one even knew about like usual.
It was really cool how they'd set it up, it was just a lone table surrounded by like tall bookshelves, and if there was one more it would be a complete square of books you could never escape from, and I almost wished I could stay here forever. It was so far in the back I didn’t think anyone else knew about it but me.
I mean, Josh had found it, but ...
I didn't want to think about him.
I felt awful every time I did, he no doubt thought I was a freak and a loser and weird and I certainly felt like one too. I had completely lost it when he'd been messing around, and I felt completely humiliated over it.
It had just been automatic.
I couldn't stand anyone over me, I couldn't stand them touching me or ---.
I shuddered.
It just made me feel so threatened.
I dropped my face into my hands, wanting to cry, my headphones pulling at the sudden motion.
But that was just sort of what I did.
I was pathetic and sad, and I couldn’t blame everyone for thinking I was weird. I hadn't always been this way, I wasn't sure what had happened to me, why I just suddenly couldn’t fit in with anyone. Maybe when Jason was gone and he and his jerk friends weren't glaring at me everywhere I went, it would change.
He just made me feel so... I couldn't even describe the feeling.
I was scared of him, but I felt bad for him, too. I wasn’t sure why, I mean, he was my half-brother, and he was always mean to me or torturing me or pushing me around --- but it was like, if his parents hadnt divorced, if his dad hadnt met my mom and left with her, his life would be completely different.
Maybe he would be happy or something.
I felt like sometimes my very existence reminded him why his parents had divorced and he...
Not that that gave him any excuse to act the way he did.
He really needed to do something about his anger, and sometimes I think he felt dejected, maybe?
I wasn’t a therapist, I had no idea, and I was getting tired of trying to figure it out, too. I just wanted him and everyone else to just leave me alone and let me do my own thing.
Why couldnt everyone just do that for me?
Was it really too much to ask?
I heard the bell rang, and I tugged one headphone out of my ear, hearing the other students Packing up their things and leaving.
I'd been sitting up here for a while by myself, with my headphones in and pretending that the rest of the world didn’t exist. I picked at my black jacket, listening to the others chatter and laugh amongst themselves as they left, and I kind of wished it was that easy for me, to talk and have fun with the other people my age, but I just couldn’t.
My mouth didn’t produce the right words when it was supposed too.
I always sounded so stupid and it was embarrassing; it was why I chose to just not say anything at all.
Jason was at least right about a few things.
I was pathetic and lame.
I gave the other students all a few minutes to leave, then hastily gathered all my things together and took off downstairs, knowing I couldn't just sit up here forever. I flashed Mr. Turner a smile as I left through the front doors.
Josh might be at the back and I didn't want to face him or any of his friends; I always liked leaving through that exit because I could just across the lawn and straight ont the road towards our house. But with him and his friends camping there, it made me nervous to go through and I wanted to go any way that he wasn’t.
I hurried toward the front of the school, finding most of the place was abandoned like I had expected it to be considering how long I'd waited. I was glad I didn’t have to ride the bus or anything, that would ruin my plans so much when it came to avoiding people; this was the first time I'd ever felt so blessed to live beside my high school.
I sighed in relief when I was met with no resistance.
I darted out the front doors and started hastily across the front, keeping my head down low as I did, pretending I was listening to music and making sure that I was as inconspicuous as possible to any lingering students.
I was almost out of here---.
"There you are!"
I cringed as I recognized Jasons voice, and his hand suddenly curled into the back of my hood as he jerked me around, practically dragging me to his car. I whimpered, trying to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let go.
I knew he was mad at me over his essay, but I really had done my best on it, and a B wasn't anything to complain about in my opinion.
"Jason, please ---."
"How do you expect me to graduate with honors if I get a B on my papers?" he hissed at me, and I stumbled as he jerked me into the parking lot, the step down nearly making me fall. "I need better fucking grades then that!"
"I'm sorry, I tried, I ---."
"Well its not good enough, Hannah!"
He whirled me around and shoved me into the side of his car, and I cringed, clutching my books tightly to my chest and trying not to look at him; if I looked him in the eyes it only made everything worse.
I had tried to get home before he could grab me, our parents were supposed to be home today, but apparently I'd been too slow.
I should have just gone out the back.
I didn't see Joshs car, so he wasn't here anymore.
I flinched, cowering down as Jason yelled at me, flailing his arms and reminding me how stupid and useless I was.
As if I didn't already know all of that.
I had the worst luck in the world.
Having him for a brother.
Any sympathy I had for him was quickly evaporating.
"Are you listening to me?"
I yelped, his hand abruptly in my hair and jerking my head back where I was forced to look up at him, and I could feel the tears build in my eyes.
"I'm sorry," I whimpered, his grip painful. "Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"
"Sorry's not good enough!"
I cringed, and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for him to smack me or the like, for that instant of pain because he always had to prove his point. He never left me alone, he always had to frighten me and make me feel afraid of him.
So I tensed as I waited for the pain as he leaned closer to me, almost completely over me where If I opened my eyes I knew I would be only able to see him.
But the pain never came, and his grip on my hair was suddenly gone.
He made a pained sound instead.
I opened my eyes hesitantly then felt them widen.
Jason was suddenly sprawled across the ground, gasping with a bloody nose, and I stared at Chris where he towered over him, his face furious.
"Don't you ever touch her like that again, you piece of shit!" he snarled. "Or I will beat the everlasting shit out of you!"
Jason groaned in response, rolling around on the ground and clutching his nose, blood coursing down his face and all over his letterman.
I felt my throat tighten as I stared at him, then I looked at Chris as he turned to look at me, his furious expression melting away into concern almost instantly.
"Are you okay?" He asked me, suddenly a gentle giant.
I stared at him, tightening my hold on my books, unsure what to do. I liked Chris, he was nice to me and always had been, and he'd never tried to do anything mean to me or had ever done anything that made me wary of him, unlike a certain friend of his.
But....
Why was he even here this late?
"W-why ---?"
"I had detention after school," he shrugged, stepping over to me and away from where Jason was rolling onto his side, trying to get to his feet and spitting blood. "And now I'm glad I did. Come on, I'll drive you home."
"You fucker," Jason wheezed from his knees, and we both looked over at him. "I'll kick the shit out of you!"
"You'll have to get up for that first," Chris snapped at him, and I felt his hand on my back, forcing me to step forward and go with him.
I looked back at Jason nervously where he knelt, his eyes burning with hatred.
I was going to pay for that later.
I let Chris guide me to his car, never so relieved to see him in my life; if he hadn't stepped up when he did, I would probably be the one with a bloody nose. I would've had to tell my parents I'd fallen down the steps again or something.
I looked around nervously, seeing we'd been walking all the way toward the back lots, mostly where the .... admittedly more shady people parked, if I was being honest.
He was parked toward the very back, by the football fields, his car a pretty blue color and very nice for a teenager to be driving.
Did his family have money or something?
"He hurt you?" Chris asked as we walked toward his car, and I shook my head, sniffling as softly as I could. I used my sleeve to wipe hastily at my face, hoping he didn’t notice.
If he did, he didn’t say anything.
I hated it when I just sort of cried without realizing it.
Another bad trait I had.
"I gotta wait for Josh and Ricky," he hesitated as we got close to the car, his hand still lightly pressing on my back, and I really wished he'd move it away. "They had detention with me but they had later. Is that... okay?"
Josh? No.
No way.
I stiffened at the mere mention of his name, and Chris sighed, stepping around me to where he stood in front of me.
"Look, Hannah, whatever he did --- he's just an idiot, okay? He doesn’t mean any real harm, so I wouldn’t... don’t stay mad at him forever, I guess."
My eyes flicked up to his face warily.
If he said so.
"Here, you wanna throw your stuff in the front seat? You can call shotgun," he offered, trying to lighten the mood, and I nodded, quickly setting my things into the car; anything to stop the conversation about Josh.
Chris leaned against the hood, quickly fumbling through his pockets and pulling out his phone. I joined him at the front, nervously twisting my fingers together, not really sure what to do with myself.
"Thank you," I said after a moment, finally gaining the courage to speak after we'd been standing there a few minutes in awkward silence. "For... for coming when, when you did."
"No problem," Chris said immediately, gazing down at me, his head tilted a little. "I should've kicked him in the balls."
I couldnt help it, I smiled, and nodded my agreement.
Chris smiled back warmly at me, and I could see him relaxing; hed been kind of tense until now.
You know, he really wasn’t that bad looking, either. He was really pale, and he wore a lot of eye makeup for a guy, in my opinion; at least no one at my school ever wore eyeliner if they were a guy, but oddly enough it really worked for him. I wasnt surprised no one had said anything to him; he was the length of a giraffe.
"Hannah?"
Oh crap.
Chris and I looked over, seeing Josh and Ricky were walking toward us, a scowl on Josh's face.
Eh.
He probably didn’t even want me around.
I was such a freak, and I didn’t even want to think about how I'd acted the last time I'd been around him.
I cringed, looking down immediately as he neared, my fingers clenching tightly together.
"We're gonna give Hannah a ride home today," Chris told them, and I felt him pat my shoulder, almost comfortingly. "Her brothers being an ass."
"What did he do?" Josh asked, stopping right in front of me, actually sounding concerned. "Did he ---?"
"I took care of it," Chris informed him, pushing off from the car. "Don’t worry about It."
Josh frowned.
"Hey, Hannah!" Ricky greeted me, nice enough to open the door for me when I stepped around the car.
I sent him an uncertain smile as I climbed inside.
I was trying to stay away from Josh as much as I could, I didn’t want to be too close to him in case he tried to touch me or something.
"So, how do I get to your house?" Chris asked as he settled behind the wheel, turning the ignition.
"Turn left when you leave the school," Josh grunted from the back before I could even speak, sitting behind Chris and sounding really grouchy. "Go like one mile and it'll be on the left, a gravel driveway."
Chris glanced at me, and I nodded.
He quickly pulled out of the school lot, vague music playing in the background the radio was turned down so low.
Ricky was the only noise, jabbering on about his girlfriend, Chris joking along with him every now and then. Josh stayed completely silent the entire time we were in the car, and I shrunk more and more in my seat, able to feel his eyes on the back of my head.
He must really not like me now.
Jasons car was gone from the lot when we went through, and I was really hoping he hadn't gone home.
"Is it that one?" Chris asked as the gravel driveway rose up, and I nodded, so he quickly pulled into it, driving a little ways before my brick house showed up.
"Wow, nice place. Why don’t we have a porch swing?" Ricky complained behind me, and I almost rolled my eyes as I hastily gathered my things into my arms.
No one ever used the porch swing.
I hesitated as I opened the door, not wanting to be ungrateful to Chris when he'd literally come to my rescue today. I climbed out of the car, but turned, leaning down slightly so I could look at him, my hair falling into my face.
"Um, thanks," I said after a moment, biting my lip as I looked at Chris, and he blinked a little in surprise. "For... everything."
"No problem," he sent me a grin. "Any time. You can just text me if you ever need me."
I smiled at him, and nodded before closing the car door and quickly trotting up the path to the house, using my keys to unlock the front door as I heard the car start to back out.
Oh thank god, I thought, seeing no one was home.
That just made everything so much easier for me.