Bad Luck Hannah

Oh.
My.
God.
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom, horrified. I'd just gotten out of the shower, and I'd lifted my hair up to toss it into a damp bun when I saw it.
What the hell?
I leaned closer to the mirror, swiping my hand across the surface to get rid of the fog.
God, there was no missing that thing!
He'd been really serious about the hickey, apparently, because if I didn't wear something with a higher neck everyone would be able to see it, including my parents, which was most definitely NOT okay!

Me: WHAT THE HELL
Josh: what ???
ME: YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE
Josh: I have no idea what ur talking abt?
ME: YES YOU DO
Josh: no?

He did.
He knew exactly what he'd done.
I stared at my reflection nervously.
I had to admit, yesterday had been fun. Like making out on the couch, probably...
God I was so lame.
I was excited because someone had made out with me for a little while?
Who the hell got excited over that?
And his hands, how they'd roved my body, from my knee slowly up my side and my back, as if he wanted to touch all of me.
And it hadn't hurt, none of it.
Well, except when he'd bitten me, that asshole.
I raised a hand to my neck self consciously.
I had to be at school in literally an hour and this is what I looked like.
I looked down at my clothes.
I felt so weird.
Flustered, I guess was the word for it.
I didn't like being touched, but when Josh's hand brushed my thigh... I hadn't minded all that much.
It had felt good.
Really, really good.
And I felt incredibly embarrassed over it.
I shouldn't, I know that, it was stupid.
I was stupid.
But I really wanted a repeat of yesterday, I'd almost been disappointed at having to leave, despite the fact he'd literally made me walk backward on my porch he kept kissing me so much, my face clasped between his soft fingers, and it was like he didn't want to let me go...
It had been nice.
And my mother liked him way too much.
She'd been ecstatic to open the door and see him kissing me, as mortifying as an experience as that had been.
He'd found it funny, at least.

Josh: r u ready 4 school yet? I'll be over n 15

Crap!
I stared at my drenched reflection in horror, then started grabbing for my makeup, applying it as quickly as I could manage. I grabbed the hair dryer as I bolted for my room, plugging it in and half drying my hair as I pulled on my shoes, hopping as I tried to make sure I didn't look like complete junk.
Which meant I ended of with half of my hair dry, my makeup kind of smeared, and absolutely no time to cover up the awful hickey on my neck.
"Hannah, Josh is here!" I heard my mom call. "Hurry up, okay? Don't keep him waiting!"
"K!"
Dammit!
I struggled over to my desk, hastily sliding my bracelets on my wrists before finishing tying my shoes. I tossed My bag on my bed, throwing my books at it as I scrounged for my jacket.
I huffed, falling to my knees and searching hastily through the pile of clothes at the bottom of my closet.
Why couldnt I find it?
"Well that's a nice sight."
I froze.
Oh no.
I looked over at the door.
Josh leaned against it, grinning at me with his arms crossed.
"If you're looking for your jacket, it's in my car. You left it at my house yesterday," he informed me, offering his hand to me. I hesitated, leaning back on my heels.
Oh god he was in my room.
My messy, disaster zone of a room.
I had to get him out of here.
I took his hand, nearly jumping to my feet in panic.
I saw his eyes light on my neck, a self-satisfied smirk overcoming his features that told me he'd known exactly what I was talking about earlier, and I scowled unhappily at him.
"You, you shouldn't ---."
"I like it on you," he chuckled, tracing the mark with his fingers as he stepped closer to me. "I think we should add some more, don't you?"
"No," I muttered, shrugging away from his touch and stepping around him. I didn't want anymore hickeys, especially when I couldn't hide them; if Jason or my parents saw it I was going to be in so much trouble.
Especially Jason.
He would have a melt down and I would, would...
"You're not seriously mad because of a hickey, are you?" Josh frowned at me from the door as I slung my bag over my shoulder, pulling my books into my arms as I turned to face him.
he had no idea.
He had no freaking idea.
I glared at him.
He actually rolled his eyes at me!
Which only made it ten times worse!
I pressed my lips together tightly, glaring at him when he wouldn't move out of the door. I just wanted to go to school, hunker in my jacket and try to find a way to hide this hickey before it got a new world war started.
The worry was starting to make my stomach churn, and I shifted unhappily when he just continued to stand there, staring at me like he was trying to dissect me again.
"Josh, school ---."
"I don't care about school," he muttered, frowning at me. "Are you mad at me? For real?"
"I'm... Irritated."
"Why?"
"Why do you think?" Was he really that dense? And did we really have to have this discussion while in my room, my parents able to hear at any moment? I didn't want them knowing anything.
"Can we... Not talk about this here?" I mumbled, staring at my floor. I tightened my hold on my books, just barely able to see his shoes in the door. He hesitated a second, then stepped back.
"Yeah. We gotta get to school," he muttered, allowing me to hurry past him into the kitchen. I cringed as I saw my mom in the living room, dressed in scrubs and looking like she was about to leave for work herself.
She sent us a harried smile, which lingered happily on Josh.
"You kids have a good day," she said brightly, pulling her purse over her shoulder.
"You too, Mrs. Martin," Josh responded, sending her a flattering grin as he ushered me out onto the porch. "Don't work too hard!"
How did he already know how to handle my parents?
I sent him a disgruntled look as we started across the yard to the gravel where his car waited, his hand creeping to hold mine as we walked.
"Hannah ---."
"Don't," I muttered, glancing up at him. "I don't want... Just no more, okay?"
He didn't understand how much I would be in trouble.
Which was pathetic, but if Jason saw---.
"Stop rolling your eyes at me!" I snapped, stopping immediately. I jerked my hand out of his, hurt.
It was like what I wanted wasn't even important.
Why did no one care?
Josh turned to look at me, a smart remark on his lips until he saw my expression, which must have shown how easy it was to hurt my feelings; I wasn't good at hiding my emotions like everyone else seemed to be. I was like an open book and I knew it and I hated it.
I hated the fact that I couldn't even stand up to him about this without wanting to cry.
"Oh, Hannah, I'm sorry," Josh said quickly, turning towards me. he turned his back to the car and gripped my arms, squeezing lightly. "I didn't mean to be a dickhead, okay? I'm sorry. Okay, I promise, no more hickeys on your neck."
I looked up at him warily, biting my lip.
Was he saying that because he was sincere or he didn't want to deal with me crying?
I could never tell with him.
I really couldn't.
I wasn't sure if he really did like me, or if this was just a game to him or what. And I didn't want to like him in case this was just all a joke, and he was just doing this to be cruel.
I didn't want him to know anything about me, or to show him that I cared at all --- not if he would just use it against me and make fun of me for it later. I couldn't stand the thought of.going through that humiliation again.
I just couldn't.
"Hannah, really, don't be upset," Josh murmured, looking contrite as he gazed down at me. He raised a hand hesitantly, brushing my hair behind my ear, his eyes tracing the bruises still visible on my face. "I swear to god I'll never give you another hickey there, okay? Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm... I'm not," I mumbled, pulling away from him, not wanting him to touch me. "Can we... Can we just go to s-school now?"
Great, I was stammering again.
I could feel the red creeping up my face.
"Yeah." he said after a moment, gazing at me. "Come on."
At least he didn't try to touch me again.