Bad Luck Hannah

A party?I frowned.
I'd never been to a party.
Like to any kind for that matter.
Not even a birthday party.
I chewed my lip as I placed my books in my locker, Josh leaning his shoulder against them as he talked, his words going in one ear and out the other. I wasn't worried about the specifics, I was worried about the people.
And the fact the party was in two days and he'd just now found the time to tell me about it.
I hesitated, my fingers lingering on the cold metal as I glanced at his face. He was playing it cool, trying to go for the casual, you don't have to come if you don't want too vibe, but I could tell he wasn't as chill as he tried to portray. Did he want me to come or something?
It wasn't really my thing.
I would only spend the entire time in the corner trying not to exist; I didn't like being around a lot of people.
And how in the world could I convince my parents to let me stay so late at his house? I wasn't sure what my mom thought, if she thought Josh's parents or his uncle was staying with him, she'd never asked. In fact, all she did was kind of push me at him like she wanted me to date him so bad she would practically beg him.
Which made me feel pathetic.
Like usual.
"Uh, why are you making that face?"
What?
I bit my lip as I looked up at him, suddenly unsure. "I --- I'm not making a face."
"You're making a face, babe. Do you not wanna come?"
Now he looked kind of hurt.
Oh god, what was I supposed to do here?
I stared at him uncertainly.
I had absolutely no freaking idea what a party was even like except from movies, and I didn't know... I wasn't good around any other people then Josh, and I didn't want to hang on his side like a thorn the entire night and ruin it for him.
He would have more fun without me.
I looked down, shrugging my shoulders as I closed my locker, hearing the final bell ring signaling lunch had officially started.
"But, I wanted you to come. Why don't you wanna go?"
Did I really have to explain?
I sighed as I turned to look at him --- or rather stare at his t shirt, some bands logo I hadn't heard of scrawled across it. He was wearing a jacket, and a beanie he had his hair tucked up under, the light glinting off his piercings. I could smell his cologne, it was kind of strong if I was being honest but I liked the scent of it.
At least he didn't smell like cigarettes like his friends.
"Josh, I --- I've never been to a party, I ---." I felt so awkward. how could I explain workout sounding like a complete loser?
His whole demeanor relaxed, however. "Is that what's up? Hannah, I'm not gonna leave your side, don't even worry."
I frowned. "If you're with me the entire time you're not going to have any fun, Josh."
"How can I not have fun with you around?" he chuckled, leaning down to kiss my nose. "And we don't have to stay if it makes you too nervous, alright? We can go and hang out in my room or something."
I raised my brows at him. "In your room? Alone?"
Without anyone around? Completely by ourselves and his baby blues that were always making me feel like they were taking my clothes off?
I seriously think they were. It was like half the time he looked at me, he wasn't really looking at me, but rather how fast he could take my clothes off if the situation called for it.
And I couldn't decide if it was annoying or flattering.
A slow grin overcame his lips.
"We can have so much more fun up there," he murmured, propping his arm above my head against the lockers as he leaned closer to me. "Watch movies, play xbox..." his fingers caught on the zipper of my jacket, and he slowly started to draw it down. "Lots of things."
Yeah right.
I rolled my eyes.
"You're more hopeful then you should be."
He grinned down at me, his look switching from would-be seductive to goofy. "You know you like it."
"You want me to like it," I chuckled, and impulsively stepped forward, leaning up on my toes to press my lips against his. I think I actually surprised him, because it took him a second before he kissed me back, his fingers rising to linger on my jaw.
"God, I think I saw tongue," I heard someone complain, and Josh glanced over with an irked expression as he lifted his lips from mine.
"Go fuck yourself, Rick."
Ricky chuckled as he stepped over to us through the throng of people heading to lunch, his blue eyes looking bright and overly chipper today. He wasn't much taller then me, and I hadnt quite decided if I liked him or not. He didn't set me on edge like the smirky one, but he didn't put me at ease either.
Especially when he was around Jessica, who I definitely didn't like one bit. I had a class with her, and she was completely... Rude. Rude was the only word I could think of to describe her. She was rude to the teachers, to the other students --- the only person I ever saw her nice around was Ricky and his friends, and whoever else she had on her bang list at the time.
And Did Ricky not know his girlfriend was hooking up with my brothers friends? Even I'd heard about it, and no one even talked to me. I wondered if he genuinely didn't know or if he just chose to pretend he didn't.
I guess you did whatever you could to be happy.
"You guys heading to lunch?" Ricky asked, glancing at me, and I quickly averted my gaze, letting it drop to the floor immediately. I was pretty sure I'd been staring at him while thinking how awful of a person his woman was.
"I'll be there in a few minutes," Josh said, his fingers curling through mine, warm as always. "I'll gotta walk Hannah to the library first."
Well he didn't have to make it sound like he HAD to. He'd just started doing it, I wasn't making him.
I could feel my cheeks heat as Ricky looked at me, raising his dark brows.
"Why don't you eat with us instead?" he asked after a second, shuffling his bag on his shoulder. "Or do you exist solely off the books?"
Really?
I was almost annoyed.
I didn't survive off books.
"I don't eat school food." I muttered, shrugging; that stuff was incredibly gross and I'd rather eat what I had packed, even if it was literally a juice box and a candy bar.
He just blinked at me, as if surprised I even had a voice. It shouldn't surprise him that I'd snap at him when he made me sound so completely like a bookworm; I really didn't appreciate it.
Josh chuckled, squeezing my hand. "She probably knows what's in it, dude. Spares herself the grease. I'll see you in a few minutes."
"Right."
Josh tugged on my hand, and I quickly walked with him into the crowd, leaving Ricky at my locker.
That was weird.
And awkward.
He'd never stopped by before.
And I wasn't sure I wanted him too again.
"So, I'll meet you at my car after school, okay?" Josh said as we turned down the hallway, a lot less packed now that most of the crowd was in the lunchroom.
"Okay." I glanced up at him curiously. "Is everything okay with Ricky?"
"Huh? Yeah, I guess, why?"
"I dunno. He just... He's never... Been around, before," I shrugged. Maybe he did know about his girlfriend.
I would want to know if I was being embarrassed like that. I would hope someone would have the decency to tell me if the person I was dating was going behind my back with someone else, or being cruel in some other way.
But I suppose not everyone saw it that way.
Josh frowned, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, just a lot of drama about the house is all, between Chris and Devin, yknow?"
I didn't doubt that.
I'd seen Chris earlier, and he'd definitely looked mopey, that was for sure. He'd been skulking through the hallway with his beanie pulled so low over his face he almost didn't have eyes.
And everyone definitely got out of his way.
"Are they gonna make up?" I asked, stopping in front of the library doors before he walked past them; I wasn't sure how he found his way anywhere, he always seemed to walk past his destination. maybe I should get him a GPS or something for Christmas.. "I mean ---."
"Aw, it'll be fine. We always make up, we're like brothers," he chuckled, looking down at me, and I frowned. "Don't even worry about it. They'll mope for a couple weeks and then they'll make up like nothing ever happened. It's what we do. Now, so are you down for the party Saturday? I swear you'll have fun, Hannah, really!"
He was just so eager....
I sighed. "I suppose."
Why not publically humiliate myself?
"Great," he perked up immediately. "Awesome! I'll see you at the car," he gave me a quick peck on the cheek before darting away from me so quickly I instantly lost him in what was left of the crowd.
Running away before I could change my mind I guess.
I grimaced, then headed into the library, intent on finding a dark corner and never coming out of it again.
When he said he would meet me at the car, did he mean he would be fifteen minutes late?
I sighed, sitting carefully on the hood, my books all piled at my feet as I waited for Josh to come out of the school. The bell had rung fifteen minutes ago and I'd already seen Kylie and Devin leave. Chris car was still parked, so maybe him and Ricky and Josh were doing something ? Josh had already mentioned the smirky friend had detention after school, and Chris was supposed to wait for him but....
What the hell was taking Josh so long? I could have walked and been home already.
Plus it was starting to thunder in the distance and I didn't want to get caught up in the rain; I hated being wet.
I texted him impatiently, even more annoyed he hadn't let me know what was going on.
Seriously.
I could have walked.
I gave it another few minutes, but when I still didn't get a reply, I started gathering my stuff up, resigned to just walk the short way home and not wait any longer.
I hated waiting.sighed
Patience wasn't my virtue.
"Er, Hannah?"
I glanced up as I slipped my bag over my shoulder, seeing Chris jogging in my direction, his bag smacking his hip with every step. He almost looked winded when he finally made it to my side, and I blinked at him.
He smelled like he'd been rolling around in an ash tray.
Mixed with something else I couldn't identify.
I frowned at him.
He huffed, and fumbled through his pockets until he found his car keys. "Josh has detention," he finally wheezed out. "He got an extra fifteen minutes for calling Mr. Harrow a dickhead, so he said for me to drive you home. If you want," he added quickly, suddenly looking nervous.
"Oh... Why... Why does he have detention anyway?"
He hadn't had detention when he'd left me at lunch.
"Didn't do some kind of assignment or something," Chris shrugged, already walking to his car. "It's always something. You coming or what?"
I wasn't sure that I wanted too, honestly.
He was wearing a hoodie that looked big even for him, and he didn't seem to be in the best of moods. In fact, I was pretty sure his fight with Devin wasn't the only thing that was bothering him.
But it was that or walk home in the rain.
Like I had a choice then
I sighed internally as I followed him to the car, grimacing as I felt the sprinkling of rain start. I upped my pace until I was nearly at the car before he was, opening the passenger side and slipping in quickly just as the clouds let loose.
Ugh.
Rain.
Chris didn't seem to mind being damp, his shoulders wet as he piled into the drivers side. He didn't say a word as he turned the ignition, screaming music erupting from the speakers so loud I actually jumped in panic.
He sent me an apologetic look as he hastily turned it down, mumbling something under his breath that resembles a sorry.
What in the world was wrong with him?
He wasn't acting like himself at all.
I bit my lip nervously, holding my books tighter to my chest as he started through the school lot a lot faster then necessary. He thumped his fingers impatiently against the steering wheel, kind of hunched where he sat.
Thank god I didn't live far from school.
We sat in absolute silence, the rain pelting the windshield the only noise as he turned left and started down the road from the school. I kept glancing at him, unable to help it.
Was he seriously high or something?
Was that was I smelled on him?
It was all I could smell right now, locked up in such close quarters.
It was awful.
And he kept mumbling to himself.
he was starting to freak me out actually.
I couldn't wait for him to stop the car and be able to get out.
I was tense where I sat, biting my lip so hard I was afraid I was going to make it bleed. It was only a five minute drive from the school to my house, and it was one of the most stressful car rides in my entire life.
I had never been so relieved to see my driveway.
And he pulled to the slowest stop I'd ever imagined. When he finally got to my house and hit the brakes, I'd already unbuckled and had my hand on the door handle.
"Er, Hannah?"
Dammit.
I glanced over at him nervously, the door already open where I'd started to jump out.
What did he want?
"Y-yes?"
"Can I ask you somethin'?"
Did he have too?
I hesitated, then nodded, shuffling slightly where I could actually look at him. He wouldn't look at me, he just kept staring straight ahead, looking uncertain if he really wanted to speak or not.
"If... If you knew one of your friends was doing somebody real shitty, and you, and you know if you said somethin' it would fuck your friendship over, would you say something to the person getting fucked over?"
I blinked at him.
Was he talking about Jessica and Ricky? Because if that was the case, then yeah, he should say something. I don't see how Ricky would be mad at him for letting him know that his girlfriend was blatantly running around on him to a point it was almost pitiful.
I knotted my fingers in my lap as I looked out the windshield, debating on how to answer.
"I think... I think if, if what the friend is doing is really going to hurt the person badly in the long run, or humiliate or degrade them, then you should say something. It's not right to let something like that go on when you know it's not right." I shrugged.
That's how I viewed it.
Chris stared at me for a few seconds, his expression impassive.
I couldn't tell if he liked my response or not.
And he was making me so incredibly nervous, I wished he'd stop looking at me. I looked down again, fiddling with a slip of paper escaping my notebooks.
maybe I should just go.
I started to turn, reaching to push the door open the rest of the way, when I felt his hand close over mine.
I stiffened, glancing back at him uncertainly.
What was he doing?
"You are such a good person, Hannah," he sighed, leaning his head back against the headrest as he gazed at me, his hazel eyes so dilated I almost couldn't see the color.
He was ridiculously high.
And that made me incredibly wary.
I tried to pull my hand away from him, but his grip merely tightened, and I felt panic flare up in my chest.
What the hell?
"Chris?"
"He doesn't deserve you at all," he muttered, still looking at me, but I wasn't sure if he even saw me anymore; it was more like he was looking through me. "You're an angel."
I tugged again, feeling his grip start to go lax.
I didn't like this.
I just wanted to leave before this went bad.
And I could tell it was going too; he was high and so out of it I doubted he remembered his name.
"Ch-Chris, please," I mumbled, straining back now. "Let go."
"Yknow, you're right, don't you?" he spoke as if he hadn't heard me. "Fuck the friendship, right? He shouldn't be allowed to do this to you!"
Do what to me?
What was he talking about?
"Chris ---."
"So I'm gonna fucking tell you before this goes too far," he suddenly announced, jerking around until he was facing me, his grip so tight on my hand I was afraid he was going to break it.
He was scaring me.
I could feel my stomach clench, my palms getting sweaty. I hated people touching me, and I couldn't get away from him --- he wouldn't let me go.
The rain was only getting worse, and I still had the door cracked so I was getting wet. I could hear the thunder becoming louder, and I was really hoping Chris would hear it and it would register to him it was starting to storm.
So he needed to let go of me.
Right now.
and he needed to leave.
"Chris, I --- I need to go!" I burst, my eyes flicking to his. "Please, let go!"
"Not until I tell you!" he snapped, jerking in my arm so hard he almost pulled me over the middle console onto his side. "It's not fair! And you're too pretty and sweet to get ruined by a guy like him!"
He was completely out of it!
I jerked back, but his hand suddenly closed over my chin, forcing my face to where he wanted it, just like Jason.
He didn't care what I wanted, he didn't care if he hurt me or gave me bruises, he was acting just like Jason!
My chest was so tight it hurt worse then even his grip on me.
I was so scared, all I wanted to do was get away, was ---.
"Stop!" I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to pull away from him before he hurt me, before I felt the pain of him hitting me or, or ---.
"You're too sweet," he almost whined, "too nice!I should have gotten to you first, I ---."
I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"Let go of me!" I gasped, unable to hear what he was saying anymore. All I wanted to do was escape, get away from him, to ---.
His lips were suddenly crushing mine, and my eyes popped open in shock as he forced my face against his, his fingers on my chin bruising.
What the fuck!?
No!
I pressed against his arms, trying to turn my face away from him, feeling my fear switch to anger.
How fucking dare he!
I felt his fingers start to tangle in my hair, despite the fact I was literally pushing at him, smacking at his chest to try to get him off of me.
It was like I flipped
I shrieked against his lips, flailing and shoving at his shoulders so hard I sent him smashing back against the window. He gasped in surprise, and I jerked around, falling hard onto the gravel.
I crawled forward, feeling the cold rain instantly drench my hair and clothes as I staggered to my feet. I stumbled, and then took off, running for my front porch.
Oh my god.
I rammed into my front door, my wet fingers slipping on the keys as I tried to unlock it; I could hear him yelling my name, and it only made me fumble worse.
Oh god.
OH god no.
I cursed, finally finding the key and unlocking the door. I stepped inside, slamming it behind me and locking it immediately. I pressed my back against it, gasping, unable to catch my breathe.
I couldn't focus.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't, I couldn't ---.
I slid heavily to the ground, my legs abruptly giving out.
I squeezed my eyes shut, my breath loud in my ears, almost roaring, louder and louder and louder ---.
"Hannah!"
A frightened sound escaped my throat, and then I was crawling forward, away from the door, the hardwood rough against my legs.
Why wouldn't he JUST GO AWAY?
"Hannah, please, open the door!"
No no no!
Just go away!
"You forgot your books! Hannah, I'm sorry, please!"
I pressed my hands over my ears, curling my knees to my chest as I leaned against the back of the couch, trying to block the sound of his voice out, praying he would just leave me alone.
Please leave me alone.
Please go away.
Please please please.
I didn't realize I was rocking, I wasn't even sure when Chris actually left, I just knew I was scared.
He wouldn't let me go.
He kissed me.
He wouldn't stop ---.
Fuck!
I bit my lip, trying to calm down, trying to get ahold of myself, but I couldn't. I kept panicking, and I was all alone.
I was always all alone.
There was never anyone here.
Not when I needed them.
Not when I really, really needed them.
Josh, he ---.
I needed him!
I fumbled, my fingers cold and damp as I tried to get my phone out of my pocket. I pressed his name immediately, shoving the phone against my ear as if started ringing.
And ringing.
And ringing.
Oh god please answer.
Please.
"Hello?"
Thank god!
"J-Josh!"
"Hannah? What's wrong?"
"I, I n-need you to, to ---." My teeth were chattering.
I felt so cold.
"Hannah?! Okay, calm down. What's happened?" he demanded, and I could hear a car door slam. "Is it Jason? Did he hurt you?"
"N-no!"
Oh god, how could I even tell him what happened ?
Should I tell him?
That would.mess up their friendship so much ---- and Chris was just high, right? He, he didn't mean to do that, he wasn't thinking straight, he wasn't, wasn't ---.
"Hannah, answer me!"
"Wh-what?"
"Are you fucking okay?"
"I ---."
I was fine, wasn't I? He didn't hurt m, he just, just ---.
Someone slammed against the front door.
I jerked, my phone skittering out of my hand and across the floor as I looked back, whimpering.
"Hannah! Hannah, open the door!"
Josh?
How'd he get here so fast?
I didn't hesitate, I threw myself to my feet, narrowly avoiding the coffee table as I went for the door. My cold fingers kept slipping on the locks, but I finally got them.
I wrenched the door open, my eyes flicking to his.
He was drenched from running through the rain to my front door, his car keys still on his hand. He looked concerned, and he stepped forward, starting to speak, but I didn't give him a chance.
I threw my arms around his neck, tightening my grip and not even caring that I was crying. I couldn't stop myself, I wasn't even sure when I'd started.
I'd just been so scared.
I felt his arms close around my back, and he just kind of stood there a moment, holding me.
"Hannah?" he asked uncertainly. "Baby, what's wrong?"
Should I tell him?