Bad Luck Hannah

"Josh asked me to the homecoming dance," I burst nervously, my fingers clenching around the fork that was shuffling food around my dinner plate. I didn’t know how else to bring it up, so I just blurted it out.
Mom blinked at me from across the table, her fork hovering halfway between her plate and her mouth. "He did?"
I nodded, quickly looking down again, flushing.
I probably hadnt needed to say it like that.
"Well, that's wonderful! oh, Hannah, we'll need to get you a dress!" Mom suddenly gasped, and I hesitated before glancing back up at her, seeing she'd set her fork down, and I could see the wheels turning in her mind. "And get you an appointment for your hair, and your nails!"
I blinked at her.
She was more excited then I was, I think. But I'd figured she would be this way. Someone had asked me to a dance, and I knew she had always wanted to do more girly things with me then just clothes shopping.
Here was her opportunity.
"When is it?" Dad asked, frowning.
"November."
"Well that's not much time!" Moms brows furrowed. "We'll have to hurry then. I'll call Cherie this weekend and see if we can't get you an appointment on that date before someone else gets a spot, and then we'll go shopping for your dress! oh, you're going to have so much fun, Hannah!"
"What time does the dance start?" Dad rolled his eyes behind his glasses as he turned to look at me. "Is it at the school?"
"Um, seven. And yeah, the gym."
"Huh. With teachers and the like, yes?"
"Yes, Dad."
What, did he think the school would seriously throw any event without tons of supervision?
It was like a prison.
"Was Jason going to take his girlfriend?" Mom suddenly asked, frowning. We all glanced over at his empty seat at the end of the table; he was working again, or so he said at least. He was never home, and he'd been staying as far away from my parents as he could manage since their weekend together out of town. I figured it was so they wouldn’t take him to another anger management therapist.
I don’t think it had helped any, either.
"I'll have to ask him," Dad shrugged. "But I'd assume so, the girl probably wants to go."
"Hayley is such a sweet girl," Mom sighed, reaching for her glass of tea. "I can't imagine why she wouldn't; she's probably one of the ones planning the event! Oh, Hannah, why don’t you ask her what the theme will be?"
Yeah, like I was going to talk to Hayley about anything.
"It's... homecoming, that's the theme," I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders. There would be the football game that Friday, and then the dance on Saturday. I would figure the theme would be footballs and banners.
"I'm so excited for you!" Mom squealed again, her eyes lighting up. "I can't wait to find you a dress! Oh, Josh isn't going to even recognize you when I'm done!"
I was starting to regret mentioning this.

"How was the bonfire?" I yawned, curling up on my side on the bed.
"Fun. Ronnie asked about you," Josh sounded sleepy on the other end of the phone, and I heard his door shut. It was getting really late, almost one in the morning, but I hadn't been sleepy. And Josh had been texting me all night, so much I wondered if he'd even been enjoying the bonfire at all. "Told him you couldn’t make it. I think he likes you."
"Yeah right," I snorted, closing my laptop so the light wouldn’t be blinding me. "I don’t even know him."
"Doesn’t mean he can't think you're hot."
"Don’t be stupid."
"Hey, that's what I always am," he chuckled, and I was pretty sure he'd flopped down on the bed. "Mhmph. oh, I found your sweater, by the way."
"Good! Where was it?"
"Erm, somehow it ended up under my keyboard."
"Oh." I couldn’t imagine how that had happened. "Oh, and I told my mom about the dance today."
"Oh yeah? How'd that go?"
"I think I regret it." I sighed, throwing my arm over my eyes. "Now she's wanting to go shopping and get hair appointments."
"Sounds like fun."
"You wanna go instead?"
He laughed. "I think I'll pass, babe. And you can't blame her, all moms like to do that, I guess."
"I'm going to suffer, I just know it. How's, um, Devin doing?" I'd been wondering about that today, how he was dealing with the whole Chris and Kylie situation again.
"So far, he acts like nothing is wrong. Pretty sure he's just waiting for the chance to punch Chris in the face, though. I would if it was me."
"So are they together now?"
"Well... I think they're talking, officially. Has he texted you or anything?"
I hesitated, hearing his tone. "Um, no."
"Good. He needs to lay off," Josh muttered. He was still really mad over Chris kissing me, and I really wished I hadn't told him at all. I wouldn’t have if I hadnt been so freaked out over it.
I was so lame.
"He... he didn’t mean to, you know," I said after a moment, deciding to just say it. "We're just friends."
"Yeah, well, he needs to keep his fucking hands to himself, is all I have to say," he snorted in response. "He doesn’t need to be around you at all."
"Josh ---."
"I'm serious, Hannah. I don’t know what's up with him right now, but he's smoking too much, and I don’t want him around you, got it? Stay away from him."
I frowned, and didn’t respond, not wanting to argue. Chris wasn’t a bad person, I wasn’t sure what was going on with him right now, but I didn’t appreciate Josh telling me who I could and couldn’t talk too.
Not that I talked to all that many people anyway.
He sighed when I didn’t answer.
"Look, I didn’t mean to snap. I just don’t want him to make a move on you again, yknow? It... bothers me."
"There's nothing to worry about," I mumbled, lifting my arm from my eyes. "I'm obviously not going to run off with him any time soon."
"Yeah, but that's because you don’t like running. You might walk."
My lips twitched.
"So what are you saying? Are you calling me lazy?"
"Not lazy, necessarily," he chuckled. "You just don’t like moving quickly."
He had a point.
He should see me in gym.
"Mhm, babe, I'm tired. I'll call you later, okay?"
"Okay. Night."
"Night."
I let the phone drop onto my bed, staring up at my ceiling, watching the lights move across it; the moon was bright tonight, and it was shining through my window, the only illumination as I had everything else turned off.
I chewed my lip thoughtfully, thinking about Chris again, how he'd been in the car.
What had he meant?
Josh couldn’t do what to me? What was Chris going to tell me?
I couldn’t remember all that he'd said, but I could remember pieces, and none of it made sense. He'd acted like Josh was doing something horrible to me, when he wasn't, he was being perfect.
Why didn’t he deserve me?
I sighed, rubbing my face quickly.
I was tempted to text Chris and ask him about it, but Josh's warning still rang in my mind. He didn’t want me talking to Chris at all, or being around him, so it wasn’t like I could ask him in person.
And I was pretty sure Chris wasn’t going to do that again, so I didn’t see what there was to be worried about.
And he couldn’t tell me what to do, anyway.
Plus I doubted Chris and him were talking much right now, so I didn’t think it would get back to him anyway.
So I didn’t see why I couldn’t at least ask, right?

Me: hey

Would he even text me back? Was he even awake? Was this possibly one of the worst ideas I'd ever had in my entire life?
I think I already regretted this.

Chris: hey... whats up?
Me: can I ask you something?
Chris: sure, anything
Me: what did you mean... when you said Josh couldn’t do this to me? What is he doing?

It took him forever to reply, almost so long I figured he wasn’t going to answer me at all. I felt incredibly nervous texting him, and now I kinda wished I hadnt.
Maybe this had been a bad idea aft

Chris: nothing I was high I didn’t know what I was saying

That wasn’t the answer I expected

Me: r u sure? U seemed pretty serious about it
Chris: yeah sorry I was just so high I didn’t know what I was saying
Chris: and im really sorry about that too I didn’t mean to kiss you I just.... im sorry
Me: I know

I wasn’t satisfied with that. I wasn’t sure why it bothered me so bad, why I wanted to know what he'd meant. My mind flicked to the smirky friend, Ryan or whatever, and how much I didn’t like him. He always just grinned at me, like he knew something I didnt, and I hated that.
Would he know?
Not that I would ever dare ask him anything.
Chris was the only one I had.
God I was so lame.
Why was I even asking? Did I really suspect Josh of anything?
I needed to just let it go and get over it.
I dropped my phone again, deciding to forget about it completely and rolled over onto my side, snuggling down into my covers.
There wasn’t a point in worrying over nothing.

"... Mrs. Martin, thanks "
"She's probably still asleep ---."
"I'll just wake her up, I just wanted it to be a surprise!"
What?
I frowned, and rolled onto my side, throwing my arm up over my ear, trying to block out the noise from my living room.
It was too early!
And suddenly my bedroom door was being thrown open, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the sudden light.
"Hannah!"
There was a sudden weight on top of me, and my eyes popped open immediately, alarmed.
"Good morning, sunshine!" Josh said brightly, his torso across mine. "Time to get up!"
"What the --- what ---?"
"It's almost ten, so I gave you a couple hours," he slid off easily, sitting on the edge of the bed as I rose into a half-assed upward position, my hair straggling in front of my face.
"What are... what are you doing here?" I demanded, turning to look at him blearily.
"I came to take you to breakfast," he said brightly, but... something was off.
I frowned at him, squinted really because I could barely see.
"Breakfast?"

"Where are we going?" I yawned, fumbling to buckle myself up in the car. I was so tired, and I wasn't even a breakfast person. I wasn't sure why Josh was here so early in such an unbearably good mood.
"To get breakfast of course," he replied brightly ... too brightly.
I frowned at him as we pulled out of my driveway.
"Is something wrong?" He was just acting weird.
"Wrong? Why do you ask?" he stared intensely at the road, and I knotted my fingers in my lap nervously.
"Because.... You're acting weird. You're never happy this early. And you got home late so you should be sleeping anyway." I mumbled, frowning down at my chipped nail polish.
"Maybe I wanted to take you out for breakfast, it doesn't have to be that weird for me to do something for you does it?"
".... No."
Something was definitely wrong.
I felt myself tense the longer we rode in the car, the silence drawing out between us thick and just.... Awful. Overbearing, really.
And I wasn't sure what the issue was.
I frowned as we slowly pulled up in front of the diner, only a few other cars parked outside so early.
We just sat there for a few moments, and I glanced over at him anxiously when he didn't move, just kind of sat in the car staring out the windshield, drumming his fingers against the wheel.
Was he mad at me for something?
I clenched my hands tighter.
"J-Josh?"
"Why did you text Chris last night?" he abruptly snapped, whipping around so quickly I jumped. I stared at him, startled, and pressed close to the door in panic. Why was he so angry?
I'd never seen him this mad at me before.
I don't think he'd ever been mad at me before, actually.
"Dammit, Hannah, did I not tell you not to talk to him?" he demanded, his blue eyes flaring as he stared me down. "I don't want you around him after what he did! You shouldn't even want to be around him!"
My throat tightened.
He was actually yelling at me right now.
"Well?" he snapped when I didn't answer, and I flinched. The louder he became, the less likely I was going to say anything. I tightened my arms around me, making sure I was against the door just in case I had to get out quickly
Jason did this to me all the time.
Scream and yell at me when we're in his car, and when I didn't answer him or he didn't like what I said, he....
It was just best to have a way out.
It was why I hated riding with my brother and would rather walk.
"Hannah!"
"Stop YELLING at me!" I hissed, the words popping out of my mouth before I could help it. "Just stop it, Josh! I didnt, I didn't do anything w-wrong!"
"You literally texted him right after I said not too!" he huffed, continuing to glare at me, though at least he wasn't yelling now. "Why would you do that?"
"Because, I ---.." What was I supposed to tell him? That High Chris had said something that kept niggling at my mind and I'd wanted to understand what he meant? He would just think I was lying or making up some kind of excuse and think I was stupid.
"You what!?" he demanded when I didn't finish.
I shook my head quickly, my throat closing up on any other words that would've come out, and I stiffened as he shuffled, practically slinging his seatbelt off so hard the metal chipped the glass of his window.
"For fucks sake, Hannah," he muttered, and I winced.
I stared down intensely at my knees, pretty sure that if I just focused on the tears in my jeans then I wouldn't have to look at his angry face.
He was freaking me out, I didn't like it when people yelled. It didn't matter if it was at me or not, it set me on edge and now all I wanted to do was go home and back to bed.
"Come on," he grunted after a moment. "Let's go in already."
I hesitated, then slowly reached for my seatbelt, hearing it release nervously. I kept my head down as I watched him out of the corner of my eye.
And flinched when he got out and slammed his door so hard it echoed.
I didn't want to be here if he was just going to throw a temper tantrum the entire time!
And I hadn't done anything wrong, either. Chris was an idiot, but we were friends, and Josh had no right to think he could tell me what to do or who to talk too!
I frowned as I got out of the car, wanting to be more angry then afraid.
And I shouldn't be afraid, Josh had never done anything to ever hurt me, he'd always been easy with me and......
I was so messed up.
I glanced up at the gray sky as I heard thunder in the distance, which meant it was just going to be another cold, rainy miserable day again.
"Are you coming or not?"
Ugh!
I glanced at Josh where he stood impatiently on the sidewalk, almost tapping his foot to hurry me along.
"No."
"No?"
"No, I... I'm not coming. I'm going home."
I wasn't going to spend time with him if he was going to act this way. I understood he was upset, but yelling and screaming and being rude to me wasn't going to make it any better.
So no, I wasn't coming..
I was going home even if I had to walk the entire way.
"What? Hannah ---"
"You wake me up early, Josh, and the first thing you do is scream at me the second you get me alone! So no, I don't want to get breakfast, I don't even like breakfast! I'm going home!"
"Hannah, no, wait ---." Josh sighed as he started forward, grabbing my hand as I whirled around to start walking; I wasn't going to let him be mean to me! I was tired of being bullied and shoved around, and I thought he was a lot better then that and it really hurt my feelings.
"Hannah, please, don't go, I'm sorry, I just --- I just don't get why you talked to Chris!"
"Because!" I jerked my hand out of his. "He kept saying that I deserved better then you, that what you were doing to me was awful --- I just wanted to know what he meant! So what did he mean, Josh?" I demanded, squaring off with him. "Why don't you elaborate?"
Josh looked like someone had knocked the breath out of him. He tensed, and his blue eyes suddenly avoided mine at all costs as he shuffled, his hands slowly curling into fists.
So he was doing something.
What was he doing?
"Josh?!"
"Chris was just high, he had no idea what he was talking about," he muttered, still refusing to look at me. "You shouldn't listen to him at all when he's like that."
"Then why do you look so guilty?" I hated my voice for growing so small. "Why...?"
"I don't look guilty, I have nothing to be guilty of!" he huffed, throwing his hands into the air. "Don't fucking accuse me! I'm not doing anything wrong here!"
I winced as his voice rose.
"You don't have to yell!"
"IM NOT --- I'm not yelling," he glared over my head, running his fingers through his hair. "Jesus."
"I don't understand why you're so mad," I mumbled, looking down at my scuffed shoes. "Chris made a mistake, but it's not one to hold against him forever."
"He kissed you!"
"We weren't dating then," I reminded him, narrowing my gaze. "And he wasn't, he was high, he never would have done something like that otherwise. You know that as well as I do. And what he said ---."
"Was complete bullshit! He was high, you said it yourself!"
"It obviously wasn't since it's caused you to have a tantrum!"
" I'm not having a fucking tantrum."
"Oh really? So far the only thing you're lacking is kicking! You've got the screaming part down pat!"
He puffed up.
I must have finally hit a nerve.
"I. Am. NOT. Having a tantrum!" he hissed, and then whirled around.
I stared at him as he stomped back around the car, slinging open the door so hard I was surprised it didn't fly off.
"Get in."
"What?"
"Get on the car, I'm taking you home!"
No way in hell was I getting in that car with him.
"Get. In. Hannah."
"No! Not when you're acting this way!"
"Just get in the fucking car!"
"No!"
this was ridiculous!
"What is wrong with you?" I glared at him over the roof. "Why are you acting like such a, a, an ass! Are you seriously just pissed because I texted Chris? Is that really what this is over? Or is it because of what he said ---?"
"Jesus Christ, Hannah, just fucking let it go!" he exploded, and I cringed, taking a step back automatically as his hands slammed down on the roof of his car. "Why do you gotta ask about every fucking thing? I'm pissed because I said I didnt want you doing something that could get you in trouble, and literally five minutes later thats exactly what you did!"
How did he even know I'd texted Chris, anyway?
"You're freaking out over nothing ---!"
"How do you expect me to believe anything you say if you literally ----?"
"Dont you try that!" I hissed, clenching my hands at my side as I stared at him, perfectly aware we'd been outside the diner for probably fifteen minutes arguing at this point, and I could see some of the waitresses peering curiously out the window.
This was going to become very public, very soon if we didnt get out of here or tone it down. And I would let it go, but he was just being so --- so damned infuriating! It was like he'd started his period or something all of a sudden, when things had been absolutely great just yesterday ---.
"Hannah, just --- just get in the car!"
"I'm not getting in the freaking car!"
"I'm going to take you home, that's what you want, isn't it?" he snapped, glaring at me, and my gaze wavered on his before darting quickly away; I hated looking people in the eyes, that hadn't changed. "So just get in!"
"I dont want to go anywhere with you when you're acting this way!" I burst, shaking my head quickly, my bangs flashing in front of my eyes. "I don't know what's wrong, or why y-you're t-taking it out on me, b-but ---," God I was seriously about to cry, how pathetic was I? I didnt want him to know he was hurting my feelings or be a baby, but i could feel them welling up and I couldnt help it.
I wiped hastily at my eyes, relieved at least that I hadn't put any makeup on.
I couldn't even stand up for myself without going into baby mode, that was just great.
"Dammit, Hannah, dont --- dont cry," Josh sighed, and I heard his door shut. "Please dont do that, I --- fuck."
"I'm sorry," I sniveled, wiping even quicker so he wouldnt see the tears.
"Dont be sorry, hey ---," he was suddenly in front of me, wiping my face with his jacket sleeves, his expression designed. "I didnt mean to make you cry, really."
"Why are you so mad at me?" I could feel my lips trembling. "I dont understand."
"I'm.... just forget about it," he mumbled, the sunlight glinting off his piercings as he glanced up. "I... come on, let's just get you home." He slowly turned me to the car door, and I sniffled, trying to control myself before I became a total disaster.
"But ---."
"Let's just get you home," he repeated calmly, opening the door for me. "Come on."
"I ---."
"Hannah!?"
I jerked at the voice, and we both looked over as Jason suddenly climbed out of his car down the row, slamming his door so hard I was pretty sure I felt it reverbrate through the ground.
What the hell was he doing here?
I stiffened, and Josh's hand tightened around my shoulder.
My eyes flicked behind him as I saw Hayley get out of the white car beside Jasons, looking concerned, her long blonde hair in a braid over her shoulder as she hastily followed my brother to where we stood against Josh's car.
"What the hell is going on?" Jason demanded, and I winced, stepping closer to the car and as far away from his as possible. Josh stepped between us, his fingers threading tightly through mine.
"Nothing," he snapped, glaring at my brother. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I was taking Hayley out for breakfast before the football meet," Jason said tightly, balling his hands into fists at his side. He was wearing his letterman jacket, his number patched onto the chest of it in bright white letters. He wore that thing constantly, just like the rest of them did, as if they had to prove they were all in a pack or something. "And now I see my sister over here crying. So what the hell is going on?"
"Hannah?" Hayley hesitated as she reached us, her eyes flicking between me and Josh. "Is everything all right?"
"It's fine," I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders. Josh's hand flexed around mine, and I felt rather then saw him glance at me.
"It doesnt fucking look fine! Look here, you fucking stoned loser," Jason started to snarl, "if you so much as ---!"
"Jason!" Hayley hissed at him, her hand clamping tightly around his arm. "Now is not the time for that! Hannah, come on, let me just take you home, okay?" she sighed, pulling completely away from my brother and offering her hand. "I'll drop you off."
She would?
"It's fine, I'm taking her home now," Josh glared, and he started to push me even more towards the seat. "You two enjoy your fucking breakfast."
"Josh ---." I started to pull away from him, but his grip tightened, refusing to let go of me.
"Excuse you," Hayleys hands went to her hips, and her eyes narrowed. "No, you're not going anywhere with her, understand? You've upset her enough today, dont you think? I'm taking her home, or so help me I'm going to call her parents and let them handle this themselves! And knowing Sherryl and Vincent, I'm pretty sure you wouldnt get to see her again for a very, very long time. Are we clear on that? Now let go of her, she's coming with me!"
Damn.
We all stared at Hayley, including my brother.
Where had that suddenly come from?
And why did she care so much?
I'd always liked Hayley, she seemed genuinely sweet, though we'd hardly ever spoke more then three words to each other. She was always with Jason, and I was always trying to get as far away from him as possible.
But right now, considering, I think I wanted to go with Hayley.
I didnt think about it, I just stepped away from Josh, and Hayley quickly snatched my hand before anyone else could move.
"Good," she smiled brightly at me. "Come on, Hannah, let's get you home. I think we could both use a little girl time, huh?"
"Wh--- Hannah!" Josh sounded shocked.
Well, he wasnt he only one.
But I wasnt going to deal with his tantrums, or him screaming at me for no worthy reason, and I definitely wasnt going to stay around where Jason was either.
Hayley was the best escape route.
And I was taking it.