Status: In Progress
The Life of a Reader
Love, Life, and Literature
I found him. Its tenth grade, and I've found him. My forever. Everything I felt reading romance novels, the characters' feelings and connections, I felt them ten fold with him. We were dead serious about being together forever. But... things fell apart when my parents tried to take control of the relationship.
I got lucky, and he gave me another chance. But all fell to shambles when we started reading FEED in my reading class. It was depressing... I went through the emotional pitfall of having a boyfriend, then felt the loneliness of distance, and finally...it ended.
We went to a church concert with the rest of the youth group, he walked with his friends, my friend walked with her boyfriend... and I walked alone, at the back of the group. I had an itch, an annoying one, and it wouldn't stop. I kept scratching and scratching. My friend saw it and told him that he needed to walk with me a bit. He saw it and frowned, he didn't like that I was hurting myself. We sat next to each other in the concert, then I went to find the rest room during the break, like everyone else. IT was crowded, I got lost and scared. I finally got back to my seat.
Skillet came on to play, and I stayed seated, hood up, crying to myself. I was terrified. He asked me if I was okay and I told him I was fine. When the concert ended, we left in a mass and I gripped the back of his jacket like a life preserver. I still lost my grip and was lost in the mass until I managed to weave my way out. He avoided me the rest of the night, and I walked alone like I did before. My hood up, crying silently as I walked at the back of the line up, and the rest of the way home.
I finished FEED about a week later, at midnight, and felt those heated emotions of abandonment, mixed the submain's anger, I sent a text that I didn't remember sending. I woke up, feeling horrible and disoriented, then looked at my messages and saw that I had, in the deepness of the pained emotions, dumped him... again. I tried to explain things to him, but he just said that it was fine and that we should take a break anyway... I got home, and bawled.
Once my scratch had healed, my parents thought that I had cut myself since it was such a straight line, I assure you I didn't. What he hadn't told me though... was that, while I was in the bathroom... he had promised his friend that he wouldn't get back with an ex.
Even after all these years, and knowing that, I am honestly still in love with him. I think... I hope... that he still loves me.
I got lucky, and he gave me another chance. But all fell to shambles when we started reading FEED in my reading class. It was depressing... I went through the emotional pitfall of having a boyfriend, then felt the loneliness of distance, and finally...it ended.
We went to a church concert with the rest of the youth group, he walked with his friends, my friend walked with her boyfriend... and I walked alone, at the back of the group. I had an itch, an annoying one, and it wouldn't stop. I kept scratching and scratching. My friend saw it and told him that he needed to walk with me a bit. He saw it and frowned, he didn't like that I was hurting myself. We sat next to each other in the concert, then I went to find the rest room during the break, like everyone else. IT was crowded, I got lost and scared. I finally got back to my seat.
Skillet came on to play, and I stayed seated, hood up, crying to myself. I was terrified. He asked me if I was okay and I told him I was fine. When the concert ended, we left in a mass and I gripped the back of his jacket like a life preserver. I still lost my grip and was lost in the mass until I managed to weave my way out. He avoided me the rest of the night, and I walked alone like I did before. My hood up, crying silently as I walked at the back of the line up, and the rest of the way home.
I finished FEED about a week later, at midnight, and felt those heated emotions of abandonment, mixed the submain's anger, I sent a text that I didn't remember sending. I woke up, feeling horrible and disoriented, then looked at my messages and saw that I had, in the deepness of the pained emotions, dumped him... again. I tried to explain things to him, but he just said that it was fine and that we should take a break anyway... I got home, and bawled.
Once my scratch had healed, my parents thought that I had cut myself since it was such a straight line, I assure you I didn't. What he hadn't told me though... was that, while I was in the bathroom... he had promised his friend that he wouldn't get back with an ex.
Even after all these years, and knowing that, I am honestly still in love with him. I think... I hope... that he still loves me.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is still in progress.I know I seem crazy and desperate, but its all true.