Baby Blues

Sunday

7:00am

“I’m guessing you’re not coming with me”, I kept staring at my phone, and didn’t answer Anna’s question. “I wish you would stop being stubborn”, I scrunched up my face, trying to block out her comments. I had already received a lecture from Jesse last night about how ‘wrong’ I was, and I didn’t need to hear it from Anna. I never realized I would find myself in this situation, not in a million years… I always knew Anna liked Jesse, but I thought it was a silly crush. Fuck, I was so wrong. I felt as though I could see straight through my phone. I felt the mechanics reflect back into my eyes, I was in deep thought. I suppose I was trying so hard to ignore Anna. I wanted to hear her side of the story, however, I didn’t. I already knew the brief, and that’s was it. I didn’t need to hear anymore than what I knew. I guess that did make me stubborn. I shook my head in response to my own thoughts, and glanced up at Anna.

“Jesse told me enough”, I answered, maintaining eye contact with Anna.

“I knew this would upset you, that’s why I-”

“Just stop it”, I stood down from the kitchen stool, and proceeded towards my room. I honestly didn’t understand why I was so upset. I think I was still in shock from the whole ordeal. I just never thought my best friend would betray me for the benefit of my brother. Maybe I was overacting, yes, that was definitely it… I snuggled back up besides Darren as he remained in a deep sleep. I smiled, as I continued to stare at him. I was startled when his eyes flickered open.

“Is this what you do now?” he chuckled, pulling me into a cuddle.

“You looked peaceful”, I smiled, resting my head against Darren’s chest.

“I actually heard you and Anna talking”, he spoke. “Well it was more like an argument”.

“But it wasn’t an argument”, I defended. “I’m just sick of her trying to correct the situation, what’s done is done”.

“But maybe she wants you to feel the same way”, I cocked my head at this, Darren was too insightful. He always had a different perspective to mine. We rarely shared the same prospective and view. It confused, and angered me sometimes. Darren was never one to tell you what you wanted to hear, he told the harsh reality of the situation, the truth. “She’s your best friend Katey. I’m sure the last thing she would want to do, is to hurt you. Just let her explain herself, and apologize”, he smiled. “Make up…”

“Make up?” I questioned. “Why should I?”

“Because you love each other”, Darren assured, smiling. “You’ve known each other for too long to let this hurt your friendship. Just give her another chance. For me alright…please?” he pleaded, kissing my forehead. I couldn’t help but hum in response. I didn’t know what else to say, Darren just had his ‘ways’. I scrunched up my face, and stood up from the bed. I really had to find Anna, and make everything alright.

12:00pm

“Jesse told me the truth ya’ know”, Anna explained. “He told me that your baby isn’t Darren’s, it’s Peter’s”, I almost fell over at that point. Peter used to stay with the family, and was my mother’s ‘toyboy’. Yes, I used to have a crush on him, but we never slept together. Once again, Jesse’s word had been taken into account before mine. I couldn’t believe Jesse had made that up; it was very far from the truth. I knew this was a bad idea, and I knew I was hopeless in trying to repair the relationship between Anna and I.

“It’s Darren’s”, I defended, my voice trembling; I was so close to tears. I just couldn’t believe my best friend was standing in front of me, arguing with my point of view. She didn’t believe me, and that hurt, a lot… I had decided to head over to her place, as I knew that’s where she would be. Darren had left this morning to see his parents. I already knew that when I arrived home, I would be faced with my mum. I don’t think I would have the energy to deal with her, especially now that all this shit with Anna has happened. I glanced back up at Anna who was now staring at me, with that same glimmer of intent. I shrugged off her cold glare, and stared back down at the frayed brown carpet.
“You’re my best friend”, Anna concluded. “But I don’t think we can be friends anymore. I’m happy with Jesse, and you obviously can’t see that. So, this friendship or whatever you call it, is over, she sighed. My mouth remained open throughout her rant; I once again could not believe what I was hearing. I kept my mouth at ‘speechless’ and stood there, staring at this girl that I thought I knew.

“Jesse says we are having dinner with your mum tonight, so I’ll see you there I guess”, Anna shrugged, walking towards the door. She opened her front door, and ushered me outside. I have never felt so alone in my whole life. I had Darren, and that was brilliant. But I had just lost my best friend… I felt as though my heart had been ripped from my chest cavity, and it could never be repaired, obviously. I felt angry, but at the same time, upset; I felt so many emotions that I just wanted to vomit, ugh…

I shivered as a cold wind whirled past me, making me hold my coat closer towards my body. I realized that this coat no longer fit me. I was one of those unlucky women, I suppose. I was only five months pregnant, but it was rather ‘noticeable’. I honestly didn’t mind, I was used to dirty look’s anyway. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, making me rustle my coat. I retrieved it, and looked down at the screen,

meet me at your place we need to talk

Oh lovely, it was Darren. I hope he wasn’t going to break my heart. I really hated those words; ‘we need to talk’. It just makes you relive every bad thing you have ever done. I suppose, nothing ever good came out of those four words, did it? I honestly didn’t think so. I ignored the text, and slid my phone back into my coat pocket. I honestly had no interest in replying to that text, probably just another heartbreak…

My feet dragged me towards my house, and I stood out on the front lawn for what seemed like forever. I just had to gather my thoughts, as I knew Darren was probably waiting in there, ready to drop a bomb shell on me. I sighed as I opened the door, and walked into my living room. I sat on the lounge; I heard talking from the kitchen. Who could that be?

“Hello, who is it?”

“Katey? Darling is that you”, I glanced up to see my father smiling at me, lovely.

“Why are you here?” I groaned, slumping back into the lounge.

“Don’t be rude”, my mother scolded, standing beside him. “We have decided to give it another go”.

My parents had said that at least ten times in the past, and it never worked, ever. I wasn’t happy with their decision, but I welcomed it because I knew it wouldn’t last long. I forced a smile at the pair of them, “That’s great”, I managed to say.

“We are having dinner with Anna and Darren tonight”, my mother smiled, “I think it’s wonderful that he will be staying here”. Wait, what?

“Darren is going to be staying here?”

“Oh, he was meant to tell you tonight”, my mother sighed, “but yes”.

“And you know about Jesse and-”

“Kids will be kids”, my father laughed, I glared at him and focused my attention back to my mother. I wasn’t used to her being so happy, but it was refreshing. It was always a daunting task going back home, but I was rather comfortable right now. Even in the presence of both of my parents, which was weird?

“What happened to him?”

“His parents are rather, mean”, my mother concluded. “They kicked him out”, my mother found it hard to say a bad word about anybody. Well, except for me. I was the ‘exception’. Other than her having the thought of me, my mum was a great person. I did smile to myself at the thought of Darren living with me, it would be wonderful. I think it would make us closer, well I hoped for that anyway.

“Oh and Katey, I seen the letter on the table”, my mother smiled once more. She must have been talking about my appointment tomorrow. “I will drop you off and be there alright”.

“Mum, are you sick?”

My mother shook her head and forced a smile as she sat down beside me. She looked up at my father with a sharpness in her eyes, making him walk away. I heard her sigh as she put her arm around me.

“I’m not happy with your decisions, but I love you so I will support you. I think your father has given me this new opportunity”, I glanced up at her, she must have been insane. I had heard this way too often, and it grew tiresome after a while. I nodded my head, and kept any opinion to myself. I was actually happy that my mother was going to help me with the child. More than anything, I’m just glad she was going to be there. I just hoped dad didn’t decide to leave her again, that worried me.

4:00pm

“So your mum told you?” Darren asked, placing his hand in mine.
“I think it will be awesome”.

“Yeah, it will be”, I smiled. “For a second there, I thought you were going to break up with me”.

“Don’t be silly”, Darren chuckled, kissing me on the cheek. I heard a knock on my bedroom door, “Who is it?” I chimed, standing up from my bed.

“Just ya’ brother. Mum wants you two down in the living room”, I looked over at Darren and sighed, “Well let’s go”, I whispered, opening the door. I turned my head to see Jesse already walking down the stairs, I followed in suit. I noticed my mother standing down in the living room with a glass of champagne in her hand, this never ended well. I also noticed my father, Anna and Jesse sitting in the living room as well. This looked like another one of my mum’s ‘let’s talk about your life’, kind of moments. These were the worst moments, by far.

Darren sat on the lounge chair, and I slumped down on his lap.

“I thought we would get the family together”, my mother smiled.

“Properly”, she concluded staring at Anna. “I think we should all share ourselves to each other, and get to know each other more”, I rolled my eyes as my mother ranted on about the benefits of her suggestion. No amount of ‘cheap talk’ could persuade me to participate; I wanted to hide behind a rock. The room had fell silent as we all stared at my mother, who had also fallen silent herself.

“Well, I’ll start”, she clapped her hands together. “My name is Jenny and I love to cook, I think that’s why I have gathered you here tonight”. My mother exclaimed. “to share food and company!”, she raised her glass as minor cheers erupted in the room. I glanced over at my father who was very much ‘in’ to this fiasco.

“Nice to meet you”, Anna laughed, shaking hands with my mother. I hated how she was already ‘too involved’ with our family, it disgusted me. Anna had never wanted to be involved with my family when we were friends. She was trying too hard to impress Jesse, what a fake mole...

“Well, I am Anna …Jesse’s girl”, Oh fuck, I really needed to take a trip to the bathroom. I felt queasy as Jesse and Anna made puppy eyes at each other. “And even though things have been tough”, she glanced over at me, I turned away. “I think now would be a chance to have faith, and come together!” Anna raised her voice, and clinked her glass against Jesse’s beer can. I glanced over at my mother who was soaking all this up, she was ecstatic. I wasn’t sure if it was just the champagne talking. Either that or she was on drugs.

“I am Kim, the wonderful dad of this household”, I widened my eyes towards my father, what a load of bullshit. He had left this ‘household’ and abandoned me. I didn’t know my father until mum ‘accidently’ mentioned him one night when she was highly medicated. “Let’s all have fun tonight alright?”, he slumped back into his chair, placing his beer can on the coffee table.

I realized that it was only me, Jesse and Darren left. I noticed Jesse jump from his chair, smiling like an absolute mad man. We were in for a treat; I rolled my eyes as he began to speak.

“Anna is my beautiful girlfriend and I love you mum and dad, I'm glad we are all back together”, I scoffed at Jesse’s comment. He had had way too much to drink because I knew he couldn’t stand my father. He once told mum that she was better off being a single parent. I shook my head at the lies he conjured, receiving a glare from Anna in the process.

I groaned as I stood up from my comfortable chair. I just wanted to sit there and be invisible, fuck, I needed super powers. I think it would make my family bearable; I looked around the room at all the grinning faces, with the exception of Anna. I shot Darren a smile, and well, everyone was in for a treat...

“I’m Katey, and you are all full of shit”, I spat, Darren chuckled.

“You act like everything’s okay, but it’s not”. I’m pretty sure Jesse had pissed me off to the point of no return. I just hated how he aligned with my parents when they were against me. It was just unnecessary...

“You’re sixteen, and you’re having a fucking child”, my father protested. Every time I became involved with these family commutes, it never ended well. I smirked as abuse was hurled throughout the room, it was sickening. “At least Anna is focusing on school”.

“Anna has fucked six guys in the past year”, I smirked. “There’s another reason to be proud of your little slut!” I exclaimed, staring at Jesse who failed to make eye contact with me.

“I’m leaving!” I walked out the front door, and slumped down onto the steps. I held my head in my hands and cried, I think it had been building up all day; I just couldn’t deal with my life currently. I was meant to be having a child in four months and I couldn’t even get my own personal shit together. How was I going to raise a child? I turned around as someone placed a hand on my shoulder, it was Darren.

“You make me laugh princess”, he chuckled, sitting beside me. I forced him a smile, and lost myself in the evening sky. “They all deserved that …let’s go to my sister’s”,
I stared at him in disbelief. I never even realized he had a sister. Finally, something I didn’t know about Darren.

“Look, she used to be an addict”, Darren assured. “But I love her because ya’ know what?”

“What’s that?” I questioned.

“She never gave up on me as a kid, and my parents kicked her out too. She is like my inspiration ya’ know, I just haven’t seen her since she was 12; that’s when everything happened”.

“How old were you?”

“I was only seven, but I knew she was awesome”, Darren laughed “I never found the courage to argue with my parents, until I met you. That’s why I think we should see my sister, together”.

I smiled, as I gave Darren a hug. “She lives in the city, but I have her number …I’ll text her”, he spoke into my shoulder.

Darren quickly retrieved his phone and dialed the number; my eyes were so fixated on the night sky. I just wish that I could be up in space, away from all the heartache of life. I had Darren, but I felt everything in my life was currently falling apart around me; I turned my head as I heard him speak. He hung up the phone and stared at me, with the biggest smile on his face…

“She wants to see me”, Darren chimed. “And we can stay there as long as we need. I didn’t get the chance to tell her the entire story but we’ll worry about that when we get there”. I felt as though Darren was trying to assure himself at the same time as he was ensuring me. We both didn’t have a single clue about what our next move was, and it frightened me. I just had to have faith in this beautiful man beside me. I smiled at that thought; I really did hope everything would be okay.

“So, when will she be here?” I asked, standing up. I had to retrieve most of my belongings from inside, and tell my parents somehow. “Cause’ I just need to pop inside and get a few things”, Darren nodded his head and waved me back inside. This was going to be difficult, but ‘right’? I suppose. I held my breath as I walked back inside to my nightmare. I mean …my home.

Darren

8:30pm

I sat on the porch and waited for Katey, this was probably the hardest decision I had every made in my life. I really liked Katey, but I felt it was wrong to leave everything I have ever known, just because I want to? I was still so confused, and I didn’t know if things would be alright. I guess I just had to hope, and be strong for the both of us. I wasn’t ready for this…

“It’s chaos in there, so we’ll shift up the lawn for safety sake”, I turned my head to see Katey with an odd expression on her face. I chuckled, and reached out for her hand. We sat on the curb of her front lawn and waited for Sia. I hadn’t seen her for five years, and a lot can change within that time frame.

I grimaced as a pair of headlights skimmed the corner. I looked up when the ignition was turned off, and out jumped a woman, who was so incredibly beautiful. She’s your sister, my mind argued with me. I shook off any thoughts, and approached her.

“Hello Darren, how you been?” she fell into my arms, I had only just enough time to catch her.

“Fantastic, because of this girl”, I smiled, pulling Katey beside me.

“Well, jump in, because it is a fair distance to mine”, Sia smiled, ushering us into her car.

“Darren, sit beside me please”, she pleaded, opening the backseat door for Katey. I furrowed my eyebrows, Sia was so dismissive towards Katey, and it was like she wasn’t even there. I was starting to feel bad for putting Katey in this position. I looked up into the sun visor's mirror, and smiled at Katey who ignored the gesture. I shrugged my shoulders, and looked up at Sia as she begun to ramble.

“I have missed you little bro”, she smiled. “How’s the parents been?"

“The usual”, I shrugged. “Not allowed to go back, but why would I?”.

“They called the cops on me when I tried to go back” Sia laughed. “But stay with me, you’ll be great”, she moved her hand from the steering wheel, and into my lap.

She started feeling my leg, she raised her hand by the second. I coughed, as I pushed her away. I had to get a fucking grip, this couldn’t happen. I didn’t understand what had made her feel this way towards me. I just wish it wasn’t ‘right now’ that she decided to portray these feelings. I looked back up through the sun visor's mirror, and noticed Katey who had her head down. I knew calling Sia would be a mistake, but who else could I turn to? No, she wasn't my sister; Sia was my ex-girlfriend. It looked as though Katey was crying, I felt awful. I couldn’t do much; I just had to wait until we arrived at Sia’s. I rested my head against the window and stared out into the black abyss. I really needed to get my head sorted, before I damage my relationship with Katey. However, I just knew that wouldn't be possible, because...

In the back of my mind, I just knew this wouldn’t work.