Desire

Night like these were happing a lot lately. Maybe a bit too frequently for Luke’s liking. Most other bands would call it ‘celebrating a good show’ but for Luke it was something different. For him it was drinking away the pain.

Stroboscope lights were flashing while the room got a darker vibe from the red, green and blue lights that were placed on the DJ booth. Luke sat at the bar, not really wanting to socialize with anyone besides the bartender for another drink. He hadn’t been here for long, maybe an hour or so, but he wasn’t really feeling it tonight. He just wanted to get back to the bus.

Luke couldn’t hear the stool next to him creak over the loud electro music that the DJ was playing but he just knew someone had taken the seat next to him. He felt their presence. He also had a slight idea who it was.

‘Aren’t you having fun mate?’ and yes, he was right: Calum had just taken the seat next to him. Luke shook his shoulders.

‘Not really in the mood for it’, he mumbled while he played with the straw that was randomly placed into his drink. Calum sighed. Luke had been acting weird for weeks now and he couldn’t get a grip on it.

Calum grabbed his glass back from the bar and left without another word, probably going back to Michael who was probably having the time of his life being an idiot on the dance floor. The though made Luke smile slightly.

Soon Luke decided tonight wasn't the night for celebrating. He emptied his glass and stood up, walking towards the exit of the club. He's text his band mates he left as soon as he had a chance to but for now, he just wanted to walk and clear his mind. Calum was right earlier, Luke had been of for a while now. The reason?

Ashton Fletcher Irwin.

The guy kept playing trick on his mind. Trick which rather hurt Luke. It all started off so simple, quite innocent aswell but quickly grew into something much more complicated and less innocent. Everything now was a mess and Luke couldn't seem to fix this but on the other hand Luke didn't need to fix things, Ashton did most of the damage.

It started off with a drunken kiss the two of them shared in the back of the bus. Ashton told Luke no one could know about it. Back then, Luke didn't really understand why he would tell anyone about it. Luke couldn't deny that he liked the kiss, Ashton noticed it too and so did one small drunken kiss turn into so much more. More than Luke ever dreamt of.

Luke had always thought Ashton was attractive and wasn't opposed of being more to him than just a band mate. He also couldn't deny he was happy when it did happen however he was sad when Ashton just left afterwards. It left Luke in a state of confusion. Had he done something wrong? However, Ashton always crawled back to him.

It took him quite a while to find out that Ashton slept around a lot behind everyone's back but Luke was too driven by his desire Ashton to see past this. He felt like he had been slapped across the face and then got a bucket of ice water dumped all over him. Luke actually thought for quite a while Ashton did actually like him.... It probably was all desire.

Before he even realised, Luke stood in front of their tour bus. Bus call was still two hours away so he decided he would probably curl up in his bed and over think the whole Ashton situation some more. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid to go through with it even if Ashton left or asked him to leave time after time. When Luke went to open the door, the door was opened before him from the inside making him jump back.

'Call me whenever you're free', a to Luke unknown voice spoke, a soft well known giggle came afterwards. A random guy stepped outside the tour bus, almost running into Luke, making the other guy jump. Ashton's smile slowly faded.

'Luke...', he spoke softly but the younger one just shook his head and pushed himself past Ashton onto the tour bus, not being in the mood to talk. Especially not after this.

'Come on Luke, don't be like this', Ashton spoke as he followed Luke into the sleeping compartment of the bus. Luke furiously turned around.

'Be like what? Being mad that you sleep with other people behind my back?'

Ashton shook his shoulders. 'It's not like we're exclusive or something'.

That was something Ashton had better not said out loud. Before the two of them realised, Luke slapped Ashton across the face leaving a red hand print visible on his left cheek. It stung like hell.

'What the hell was that for?' Ashton yelled at Luke which made the taller blond only more furious.

'What was that for?' Luke asked, 'That was for all the times you thought it was okay to give me false hope.'

Ashton bit his lip, not too sure about what he should say.

'I don't know what I am feeling for you', Ashton mumbled. 'Do I feel desire, or is it love?'

It seemed so poetic but Luke was being sceptical. It was Ashton afterall, the guy who put him through all the mental abuse of making him think he was more than just a random fuck.

'Then sort your thought out, then get back to me', Luke snapped while he crawled into his bunk, leaving Ashton in the small hallway.

Ashton sighed, about to give up but decided that giving up would be worse.

'Lukey, cuddle with me?' He asked. Luke scoffed.

'Get the fuck out', Luke snapped but Ashton didn't give up. He crawled into Luke's bunk, wrapping his arms around Luke's waist.

'I like being close to you', Ashton muttered into Lukes neck while he cuddled up to him. Luke just let it happen for the night.

Luke also realised that he was weak for the boy Ashton Fletcher Irwin and his mind playing tricks of desire for him.