Second Heartbeat

“I wonder who he’ll look more like!”

Jess squealed, as Dan drove the RV up the freeway.

“Well … if it’s any indication, Aurora is the spitting image of her mother.”

Corinne rocked her daughter Lily to sleep. All members of Avenged Sevenfold and Radiant Eclipse were driving up the freeway to San Francisco. Ash had just given birth to her son, and second child with the one and only Johnny Christ. In the nearly three years since she left the band, every member of Radiant Eclipse had children with and married their respective Avenged Sevenfold better halves.

Zack and Jess were the first to the altar, Halloween 2011, which was followed the next April, by the birth of their son, Sorin. Corinne had Lily in December of 2011, while her and Matt married on Christmas Day, in an intimate beach front ceremony. Anne had her and Brian’s son Christopher in May 2012 and got married the following September. She had their daughter Laeticia in September 2013, just after their first anniversary. Mateja and Jimmy got married November of 2012, and had fraternal twins, Owen and Halle in March 2013.

Ash and Johnny, were another story. Though she was pregnant, they broke up once Ash had left the band and moved to San Francisco. She had their daughter, Aurora, February 8th, 2012, the day before Jimmy’s birthday. And every minute that wasn’t spent writing, recording or touring, Johnny spent making the seven hour trip between Huntington Beach and San Fran. Since they broke up in September 2011, they remained split, but friends as to present a somewhat united and stable front for their daughter; with Johnny pleading for Ash to move back to the beach with him.

He had a hard time convincing her to do so, as she had started to settle, and had gotten a spot at a prominent San Francisco tattoo parlour. After one intense argument, after Sorin’s first birthday party, the two ended up sleeping together, and Ash found out she was pregnant with their second child, right around the time Jess found out she was expecting again as well. It was after the birth of Anne and Brian’s second child, their daughter Laeticia, that Johnny begged for another chance. Ash eventually relented, but on the condition that she have the baby in San Francisco, as she didn’t want to change doctors. Due to a minor slip, that thankfully did no damage to the baby, Ash had been put on bed rest just before Christmas, and Johnny had been by her side since. Two days after the New Year, he made the call to Huntington Beach, that Ash’s water had broke and that they should get up there as soon as they could. Leaving the next day, the group got another call, saying that Ash had given birth to a boy, that they decided to name Jonathan Lewis Seward, Jr.

Another hour and a half on the road, and Dan had parked the RV in a parking lot, just down the street from the hospital. After taking a moment to stretch out their limbs, and eat a quick snack, the large group heavily tattooed adults and young children made the short walk down the road; gathering many the odd look. Lily was half asleep in Matt’s arms, while Sorin and Christopher toddled in front of the group, under the watchful eye of everyone. Owen and Halle were fast asleep in their double stroller, which was being pushed by Jimmy, while Brian had Laeticia in a sling around his chest. He looked down at every chance and pulled every face he could think of, bringing a smile to her face every time. As they waited to cross the street, Zack had his hand under Jess’ shirt, gently massaging her back.

“It’s going to be us again soon.”

He whispered, as he pressed a light kiss to her forehead. Jess smiled happily and return, and rubbed her swollen belly, just as she stepped off of the curb. As soon as they had gotten Johnny’s call, they had wanted to leave for the Bay Area, but first, had to check with Jess’ OB/GYN, to make sure that it was okay for her to make the drive. Once inside the hospital, the group located the giftshop and raided it. Making sure that they had gotten and paid for everything they wanted, they made their way to the elevators and up to the maternity ward.

“Um, hi. Are you here to have your baby?”

A nurse stopped and asked, as soon as she saw Jess.

“Oh, no, no. Our friend just had one, and we’re here to see them.”

“Oh, okay. Name please?”

“Ash Enriquez.”

“Ahh yes, baby Seward. Room 519. It’s just off to the left there.”

“Thank you!”

Jess smiled back at the nurse, and led the way down the hall.

“We should probably take turns going in.”

Anne suggested.

“Girls first!”

Corinne chimed in, and everyone agreed. The guys stayed out in the hall, with the kids, as Jess gently knocked on the slightly open door. Slowly, they crept in to see an exhausted Ash laying on the bed, Aurora asleep beside her, while Johnny held his son in his arms. The girls had to stop from squealing aloud, as they rushed to hug Ash and then each take a turn holding the newest addition to the Avenged Sevenfold family. While Junior was being quietly sung to in French by Anne and Corinne, Johnny slipped out to the hallway to see his bandmates.

“So, how does it feel daddy?”

Brian asked Johnny, as he clapped him on the back.

“Good. Tiring, but good. I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, actually … you get what I mean right. How’s things with you? Are they any better?”

Brian sighed, and bit his lip before he attempted to address the elephant in the room. When Anne had hurt her ankle prior to Ash leaving the band, she had developed a bit of a dependency on the medication. Even after she had exhausted her prescription, and the doctor had said she didn’t need them anymore, she continued to find her fix elsewhere, right up until she got pregnant. There had been suspicions of a problem, but not having any proof, no one wanted to confront her with what could have been an assumption. However, they had gotten all the proof they needed shortly after the birth of the second Haner baby. Anne had hurt her ankle again, but this time, seriously enough to require surgery, and heavy medication. And it wasn’t long before she was burning through the pills at a very alarming rate. It was to the point, that the doctor refused to write her any more prescriptions, and advised Brian to keep them under lock and key, and keep a very close eye on his wife. It was the cause of quite the bit of stress and tension, not only between the married couple, but everyone in the family.

“I wish man. Hey … do you think Ash would talk to her for me? I keep trying, but it seems like everything goes in one ear and straight out the other.”

“Of course man. Let me get the girls out here first, and you guys can go in.”

Johnny tiptoed back into the room, and chided the girls into the hallway, so that Matt, Zack, Brian, Jimmy and Dan could have a chance to see Ash and the baby. Aurora had woken up and immediately reached out for Johnny, so Matt sat with the newest Seward in the rocking chair, while Brian took the chance to sit with Ash.

“You look like shit.”

Ash mused, as she ran her fingers through Brian’s hair.

“Well, so do you.”

“Fuck you, Haner.”

Brian laughed, then sighed deeply, before he gently grabbed Ash’s hand with his.

“I need you to do me the biggest favour ever.”

“What’s going on, exactly? I’ve heard bits and pieces from Johnny and the other girls, but I want to hear it from you.”

While the guys entertained the Seward kids in the corner, Brian slowly explained everything that had been going on with Anne since she had Laeticia and then the surgery. Once Brian finished his story, Ash looked to be near tears.

“I’m so sorry, Bri, I wish I could have been around more, for you guys. For everything.”

“It’s not your fault, really, it isn’t. But I do need your help, big time.”

“Anything. Name it.”

“I need you to talk to Anne for me. We’ve all tried, but we’re all at our wits end with her. I’m about ready to take the kids and move to Timbuktu.”

Ash giggled softly, before she regained her form.

“Don’t do that. Do you want her to go to treatment?”

“Yes. I mean, taking the kids away from her, is the last thing I want to do, but right now, it seems like the only option I have.”

“I got you bro. Send her back in, let me talk to her.”

As Brian stood, the guys caught his eye, and figured what he must have asked Ash to do, and followed him out to the hallway.

“She wants to see you.”

Brian told Anne, as he took Laeticia from her. Nodding, Anne walked into the room, and smiled upon seeing her longtime friend, pat the chair next to her bed.

“You wanted to see me.”

“I wanted to talk.”

Seeing the look on her face, that it was one of concern and not tiredness after just having had a baby, Anne knew that she was being cornered. She was almost, instantaneously agitated and confrontational.

“He asked you to talk to me didn’t he?!”

Ash only nodded in response.

“I don’t have a problem!”

Anne insisted.

“Then why did your doctor advise your husband, to keep your medication under lock and key? And where are you going to get your fix, since no matter what lengths he goes to, he always manages to find you high off of your damn rocker?!”

“Do you know how hard it’s been for me?! Stupid ankle always giving me problems, of because of the fucking thing, I can’t even breastfeed my own daughter!”

“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now, but that doesn’t mean that you need, that you must have some kind of fix to get it to go away. The feeling is only temporary, and it’s only going to lead to bad things.”

“But I take care to make sure I don’t take anything when I have the kids to myself.”

“It only takes one time, Ant.”

Anne almost froze in her spot, as Ash only called her by that nickname when she was really upset, or disappointed with her. After a brief staredown, Anne got up and started to walk towards the door, only to turn on her heel halfway there.

“You know, this wouldn’t have happened had you been there! I always used to be able to count on you for anything, and all of a sudden, you’re just … gone!”

“Oh, don’t you dare fucking try and put this on me! I didn’t put those fucking pills in your mouth, and you know I was always just a phone call or video chat away. I’m sorry that I couldn’t physically be there, but I needed to figure out my life for myself. Please come back and sit down, so we can talk about this like rational adults.”

Anne just crossed her arms, and stayed rooted to her spot on the floor. Ash pushed the chair towards her, and continued to stare back.

“Assis toi.”

She said softly in French, as she looked from Anne to the chair and back again. It didn’t take long for Anne to give in, as she walked back over to the chair, and pulled it closer to the edge of the bed and sat down.

“Look, I love you, I always have and I always will. And you damn well know that. So you know, it’s going to pain me to have to say what I am about to say.”

Ash took a deep, shaky breath, before she reached for Anne and beckoned for her to sit on the bed with her.

“I have always been there for you, since the day you moved to Toronto, and I will continue to be, until the day we’re both dead. But until there’s a change, in you, that might change. Like I said, I love you, but if you’re going to continue down this scary, scary, path, I can’t be near you.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that unless you change, unless you admit you have a problem and get help, that I don’t think I want you around me or my kids. And I don’t think that you should be around yours either. This is a serious problem and if you don’t fix it soon, then I don’t know if it can ever be fixed.”

Ash pulled Anne into her embrace, and tangled her fingers in the drummer’s curls.

“Please, think about it. For me, for you, for Brian and the kids, for everyone okay?”

Anne just nodded in response, and refused to look up and meet Ash’s gaze. They stayed like that for a few moments, until Johnny brought a fussing newborn back into the room.

“Think about it. Please.”

Ash whispered, as she kissed Anne’s forehead and took her son into her arms. Everyone quietly called out their goodbyes from the doorway, and headed to their hotel for the next few nights. Later that evening, Anne sat on her laptop, a lost look glazed over her eyes, as she tried to concentrate on the page that she had opened on the laptop in front of her. She barely heard Brian reenter the room, as he had went to check on their kids, who had fallen asleep in Jimmy and Mateja’s room. He crept up behind her, and his heart almost jumped out of his chest, when he saw what Anne was looking at. It was the website of Pathways Recovery, a drug treatment centre just outside of Sacramento.

“Are you sure?”

He asked, as he nervously, laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“It’s time, no?”

Brian sighed, this time in relief, as he bent down to kiss the top of her head.

“Do you want to go now?”

“Can I say goodbye to the kids first?”

She looked up at him, willing the tears not to fall from her eyes. Anne didn’t need to ask for his answer again, as Brian pulled her up from her seat, and into his embrace. Helping her to gather her things, he grabbed his wallet and phone, and they walked over to see the kids.

“Did you want to take them back to your room? Need help?”

Jimmy asked, as he opened the door.

“No, they actually need to stay here for a little while longer. Can I have a moment please?”

Nodding, albeit, a bit suspiciously, Mateja and Jimmy, stepped out onto the balcony, as Brian promised to explain everything later. Anne sat with her kids, brushing the hair of their eyes, and silently thanked every god under the stars, that they were still too young to understand what was going on. A few minutes passed, and she bent down to kiss both of their heads, then told Brian it was time. Waving goodbye to Mateja and Jimmy, she walked out of the room hand in hand with her husband, and took the elevator down to the lobby, where a car service was waiting for them. During the drive over, Brian called the centre, which told them they were happy to take Anne in. Once the driver dropped them over, he told Brian that he wouldn’t be far, and just to call when he wanted to be picked up. They were greeted at the door by a counsellor, who ushered them inside, to talk and show them around. Half an hour later, Anne was shown a room, and the reality was really starting to hit her; she broke down in tears.

“It’s alright baby, you can do this. You got to. You know we’re all rooting for you.”

Brian whispered, through tears of his own, as he tried to console her. It took another ten minutes before she calmed down enough, to let Brian go, and to let herself try to get comfortable.

“Do you think they’ll be mad I didn’t say goodbye?”

Anne asked, referring to her bandmates and his.

“No. I think they’ll understand. Look, we’re due to head back to Huntington Beach in a few days, so I’ll see what we can do about seeing you before we go, and what the rest of the visitation schedule would be okay?”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Brian hugged his wife again, almost wanting to run out and away with her, before he forced himself to let go. One last kiss, and he, reluctantly walked away, telling himself repeatedly, that this was for the better.