Voyager

Do you ever feel like time slows down sometimes? Like when you're staring at the clock for too long or when you're taking the longest test of your life? That's what I'm feeling right now. Everything is in slow motion, like someone is filming my life and slowing it down for the heck of it.

"How long do I have?"

Or sometimes, it takes less than a minute. When I was nine, my parents died in a car accident. My sister and I were playing with our neighbors in their yard when the police officer came and said, "I'm so sorry, but your parents have passed away."

Just like that, in thirty seconds.

"A year, maybe."

I'm thinking everything is just a really bad joke. I want to assume I'm on a TV show and someone's gonna pop out and say, "Just kidding! Everything is just fine! You're fine! Your parents are fine!" but the longer time passes, the smaller my hope gets. It's silly, I know. I'm twenty-seven and my parents are dead. They can't just appear out of nowhere after eighteen years.

"What are my options?"

I stopped believing in God a while ago. I mean, even as a person of science, I believe that there's something bigger than the universe out there, but in God himself? Not really. I just have a hard time believing that the greatness of God can just kill people off like they're characters in a movie or make little kids starve or accept the existence of rapists.

"Well, there's chemo and radiation or a new experimental drug that's in its clinical trials that I can get you into."

"Or?"

I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is ridiculous. Humans are some of the most complex beings in the world and sometimes, the simplest things can destroy them in what feels like the longest moments or their life, or the shortest.

Don't even get me started on the concept of time. What's a year, anyway?

"Or we can make you comfortable..."

"You mean die?"

"Yes."

Not enough time.