Everything.

I ended up in a cafe.

Some adventure...

I sat alone in a booth in the back, watching the idle steam of my coffee rise. It was almost two in the afternoon and I was drinking black, rich coffee. No shame, if anyone else out there feels bad for drinking coffee in the afternoon, then they are not living.

I listened to the crappy jazz music playing the cafe for a while until I fished my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through my songs, for some reason, feeling antsy and obnoxious.

I hit play on Dammit, by Blink-182. I turned up the volume and laughed loudly when people turned in their seats, I sat there enjoying my nice, loud, punk music. I kicked my feet to the beat under the table, my sandles smacking against the tile.

"Miss?"

"Yes?" I shouted over the song, looking up expectantly at a nervous waiter.

"I'm going to have to ask you to turn down your music, or..."

"Or what?"

"Or leave, I'm sorry."

I sighed... Such a partypooper. There's always one, that's definite. "Why? You're music is lame."

"It's classy." He retorted, getting an attitude.

"Finnne." I groaned, getting up and snatching up my coffee, taking a long drink of the black substance. "I thought music was freedom, but whatever. I'm out. Have a nice day."

The waiter looked flustered when I finally left the shop, I dropped my shades onto the bridge of my nose, keeping to the shadows of the sidewalk, admiring the busy city life. I kept my music blaring, no one seemed to care out here, unlike those unsufferable stuffy cafe folk who talk about art and pretend to be cool.

"It's okay. To tell me. What you think. About me. I won't try. To argue. Or hold it. Against you. I know that. You're leaving. And you must have. Your reasons. The season. Is calling. Your pictures are falling down." I sang, jumping into an epic air guitar verse as I strutted up the street

, not really caring what anyone else around me thought. It's a good feeling.

"The steps that. I retrace. The sad look. On your face. The timing. The structure. Did you hear. The thunder? A day late, a buck short. I'm writing. The report. I'm losing, and failing. When I move, I'm flailing down- And it's happened once again: I'll turn to a friend. Someone who understands and sees through the master plan. Well everybody's gone. And you've been here for too long, to face this on your own, well I guess this is growing up, daa da da, dum da da da," I continued my obnoxious air guitar.

"Ha ha, what a loser!"

I looked over my shoulder as an orange bug slowed against the curb, Amanda leaning across the console with a smug expression. "Didn't think you'd ever get out."

I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Ooh, so mature." She rolled her eyes. "Get in, let's go get a drink."

"You're not even 21." I replied coyly to annoy her. "We'll have to go to one of those lame cafes..." I sighed dramatically. "I think I've gotten my fill of those for today." I shook my head, remembering the face of the cafe worker, shaking his fist at me as I left for criticizing his classical music. It had been lame, and I'd spoke the truth.

"Ugh, fine. I'll take you to Maverick's and we can grab a soda and go hang out by the creek or something. Get in."

"I have my car.." I looked behind me up the block, not in the mood to walk back towards it.

"I'll bring you by later, and you can pick it up, come on, we hardly hang out anymore."

"We hang out every day." I reminded her as I climbed in the passenger's door. She just turned up the radio to drown out my whining. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize the song playing, so I couldn't obnoxiously sing it to further annoy her. True to her word, we parked right in front of the big red and brick building. "Here's a ten, grab me a Monster Drink."

"Are you sure you can handle that?" I asked skeptically as I climbed out, the bill in my hand. "You're annoying enough on your own."

"Oh, ha ha." She laughed, it was thick with flat sarcasm. "Just get my shit, bitch."

I nodded, a smirk on my face as I walked towards the front door. Unfortunately for her, I now recognized the song playing faintly from the speakers above the door.

"Oooooh, it's hard to look right, when all the other boys, tryyyyyy to chase me. But here's my number, so call me maybe?" I sang back at Amanda, she rolled her eyes and dropped down her rainbow tinted aviators, pretending she didn't hear me. Slightly annoyed, I rounded her side of the car.

"HERE'S MY NUMBER! SO CALL ME MAYBE!" I shouted in her face, she looked up at me skeptically.

"I think you sung the last verse wrong." She replied smugly, I rolled my eyes and flicked her arm resting on the edge of the window. "Whatever bitch, just call me."

I heard her laugh as I pulled open the front doors.



The cashier sighed in annoyance. Or maybe she was just tired, it was hard to tell. I put up a smile exclusively for her, because it's my personal mission that if you've ever felt just shitty and terrible before, you should offer a smile to someone who is having a bad day to cheer them up, because no one should have to live that way.

She raised her eyes lazily to mine, deep in them was a wary note. I noticed her eyes flit back and forth to the phone, where she was probably planning on calling me in as a stalker.

"Any smokes or liquor?" She asked as she rang up my purchase. "Naw." I replied, poking at a bobble head figure pearched atop her computer. She narrowed her eyes at me, and I watched the figure's cranium sway back and forth. "But I do like this little guy."

"Your total is 4.95$." She concluded in a tired tone. I handed her the ten and waited for my change.

"Thank you." I smiled at her in one last attempt to get her to send one back. I failed. "Have a nice day..." I mumbled, dejected. I returned to Amanda's beater bug. Sadly, no song was playing that I knew now.

"Got my shit?" She demanded jokingly when I sat back down and shut the door behind me. I tossed her the black can and handed her back the fistful of sweaty change. "Where are we going now?"

"You'll see." She cracked a smile, trying to be suspensful, but it was pretty clear where we were going when she went one of these moods. "Nooooo..." I groaned. "I am not going to visit your sweaty boyfriend, Ben." I crossed my arms defiantly. Ben annoyed me, to say the absolute least.

"Okay... What do you want to do, miss smartypants?"

I thought about that a while. "How far away is Savanannah?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, a decent trek, I guess."

"Is your beloved TV show filming today?" An involuntary wicked grn crept across my face.

"Walking Dead? I mean, yeah, probably..." She was trying to play it cool, but I saw the excitement behind her eyes. "Let's check it out, it won't be a complete waste, either way, I've been meaning to get out of town." I shrugged. It didn't take much more working with her to decide, she was sold.

The trip contained mostly Amanda fangirlling about finally meeting Steven Yeun and the other cast members whose names I didn't recognize.

Later on, we were parked alongside a road, I was glad she seemed to know what she was doing. And just little while later, we stood among other impateint, sweaty fans, decked out with zombie t-shirt, crying on the fences because they'd been out here since five this morning. I was glad I had gotten my rest.

"How long?-" I began, and the girls erupted into a war cry, like someone had just dropped dead. While I was searching for the body, Amanda was screaming in my ear...

"CHANDLER?!"

"Wha?..." I looked up as a boy approached, but from the other side of the fence. He had long, dark brown hair and blue eyes, he wore a blue flannel shirt, work boots and a brown cowboy hat, he was probably in costume.

"Hey, guys!" He smiled warmly, autographed a few things that the fans were able to wedge through the metal loops in the fence. A lot of the girls thanked him with more warmth than necessary, and sometimes asked for his number, while trying to give him their own. Talk about desperate, jeez...

"Oh my God, I've always wanted to meet you!" Amanda told him, shaking his hand through the fence, smiling at him like crazy, clearly she hadn't expected this to happen today, and to be honest, neither had I.

"Is that Lauren?!" Another girl standing next to me exclaimed, louder than necessary, making my right ear pop. I winced, but searched the other side of the fence nevertheless for this Lauren.

"Lauren! Over here!" Some of the boys closer to the fence called, I laughed, enjoying the fans' reactions better than actually seeing some actors in the flesh. Chandler stood off to the side while Amanda and most everyone else crowded against the barrier to see Lauren. I left Amanda's side and walked towards Chandler, who was checking the time on his phone and taking a drink of water.

"Is it always like this?" I asked, hanging my fingers from the chain link and looking over at the crowd of nearly-crying fans.

Chandler laughed and smiled, looking down at them, too. "Most days, yeah. Usually there's more people so this is actually what we call an 'off day'." He cracked.

"Looks pretty busy to me." I laughed, looking over at a girl with mascara running down her face, sobbing "I've waited so long to meet you, Andrew!"

"So..." I paused, searching for something conversational to say. "What character do you play?"

"You don't watch The Walking Dead?" He asked in confusion, clearly wondering why I was at a meet and greet, then.

"No." I shake my head, "My best friend is a huge fan, though. So we came out here today so she could meet a few of you."

He nodded and smiled, "Well, since you asked, I play Carl Grimes. My make believe father is over there." He pointed towards an older man with peppered stubble on his chin, and dark brown, curly hair, signing different items through the fence, trying to get selfies with visitors.

"Someone called him Andrew?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Andrew Lincoln. He's really awesome."

"Y'know what?"

"What?"

"A lot of famous actors say their co-stars are awesome. Do you all actually mean that, or do you just say it?"

He looked at me carefully, thoughtfully for a moment. "Yeah, it's true a lot of people say that, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. These people are like my family."

"Now that..." I smile slowly and point at him. "Isn't some damn lie. I like that, no one calls their co-stars family. By the way, I have a dog named Carl."

"Really? That's awesome."

"Ce, amigo, hey, Amanda, have you met Steven yet?" I called to her, holding up a conversation with a woman who had long strawberry blond hair, hazel eyes and faint bronze freckles.

"What? No." She frowned, but the pride of having met at least half her idols was unmistakable. It surprised me that she had waited this long to attend a meet and greet outside the set.

"Ohhh..." My brow creased, then Chandler spoke up. "You guys wanted to meet Steven?"

"Well, yeah, she does. She cyber stalks him." I say nonchalantly, shrugging.

"You did not just tell Chandler Riggs I cyber stalk Steven!" Amanda exclaimed in embarrassment, her cheeks lighting up pink. The woman with blonde hair giggled. "Don't worry, sweetie, we hear stuff like this every day, though usually, it's for Norman." She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Well, hey, I have to get back to work, but come back around say... Eight tonight? I'll be back, and I'll try to get Steven out here, deal?"

Amanda gaped at him, barely uttering 'yes'. I laughed and said goodbye to the actors, Watching Lauren, Andrew, Chandler and the blonde woman who Amanda later told me was Alexandra Breckenridge, head back up the grassy hill towards the set.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked her, lowering myself into the shade of a broad oak tree. A few fans had disbursed, a few spreading out further up the barrier to try and get a glimpse of the filming, and most of them just waited here.

"What? Stay, of course. This is the closest I've ever been to meeting Steven, and I'm still processing that I met Chandler fucking Riggs, Lauren damn Cohan, Andrew shitten Lincoln and Alexandra crap-hell Breckenridge!" She gasped deeply, clutching her chest.

"I'm surprised they were as humble as they were." I mumbled, twisting off the top of my soda and taking a drink. "Normally actors couldn't give two shits that half these people were here at five this morning to meet and talk with them. They were all so kind."

"Yeah..." Amanda sighed dreamily. "Best day of my life."

"Better than the day you met me?" I pretended to be offended.

"Oh, you knew what I meant." She laughed, punching my arm.

I just sat there talking to Amanda for a while. We had about six hours left around us, so Amanda decided she was going to walk the barrier for a while, try and see something. I told her I'd stay here, in case Chandler came back early. I dropped down my sunglasses and leaned back comfortably against the tree behind me and dozed off...



So of course, when I finally woke, I was a little shaken. I shook it off, and opened my eyes, checking the time on my phone and yawning. "Time to feed the dogs..." I murmured, looking around for Amanda. Of course... She was hanging out on the barrier with all the other Walking Dead-hards.

I stand up and stretch, feeling a bit sore from leaning against the tree, but rested up nevertheless. Walking towards the fence, I hear the various excited conversations.

"Do you think Norman will come out tonight?"

"Who?" I respond automatically, thinking the guy who had said it had been speaking to me.

"Huh?" He turned around and faced me.

"Oh, sorry..." I turned away in embarrassment, more so in annoyance at myself. Why was Amanda my only friend, you ask? I tend to say all the wrong stuff when I'm in the middle of a conversation, I make a fool of myself easily. Luckily for me, Amanda overlooked that, otherwise I probably would have moved back to Montana by now... But I'm still not sure if I could handle being apart of the ongoing mourning process. I'd said my goodbyes at the funeral, as Dad would have wanted me to. I knelt in front of his headstone afterwards, setting down a bundle of his favorite, stalks of foxglove, against the smooth, pale marble. I didn't cry, I just looked down at the stone. Memorizing every detail, allowing a small slidshow of memories to play.

After a few moments of repectful silence, I took out my phone. Not to text someone or post a Facebook status about how shitty I felt and how I couldn't believe he was gone, but to turn on some music. Selecting punk genere, I hit play on The Riverdale's Back to You.

Then the tears started to come, and I started to feel bad because Dad wouldn't want me to cry. I just hope he understood that I wasn't crying for him, I was crying for me. I was going to miss him, so so much... And I don't think anyone understood that. Still, afterwards, I had to put up with weeks of mourning friends, family and aquiantances, coming to my front door to celebrate my father's life with another bouquet of roses and a sympathetic smile. That proved it: They didn't know him at all, at least not enough to know he hated roses, hated the smell of them, that they pricked his fingers with their thorns whenever he'd try to appreciate them.

I frown now, realizing the people around me were excited to meet their favorite actors, and I was over here thinking about my dead dad.

"Can you get a picture of me with Steven when he comes down here?" Amanda asked, shoving her iphone into my hands with an excited smile.

"Err, sure." I opened the picture app and looked up over the hill, where behind it, were actors covered in fake blood, sweat and dirt, stabbing zombies in the head with plastic knives. I laughed to myself.

"What time is it?" Amanda demanded after a few minutes.

"Eight-twenty-six." I replied, there were groans around us. "Chandler stood us all up." A guy in an oversized black shirt with the Walking Dead logo on it joked, looking up expectantly like we all were.

"Hey- No, it's just some kid." I sighed dramatically, pointing up the hill where a boy walked down in a Monster Energy drink t-shirt, blue jeans and boots, dressed casually, most of the makeup washed off his face, he no longer wore the brown cowboy hat, just long, dark brown hair swept to the side, out of his eyes. He greeted us all again, just as cheerful as before, he sounded pretty tired now, thought. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, signing a few more things for people who had arrived late, he arrived in front of Amanda. "Steven agreed to come down, he'll probably take another fifteen minutes, he killed way more walkers." He laughed, she laughed, and I didn't get his joke.

I stood out of the way, further up the barrier so fans could socialize with Chandler. I didn't watch his show, or contribute to his career in any way, so I didn't feel deserving of hogging the spotlight.

It was starting to get dark, and it was getting harder to tell when actors were actually coming towards us, vs security and other personnel telling Chandler he needed to get going because he was a minor and couldn't stay on set longer than a designated time.

He sighed, "It was nice talking to you all, thanks for coming out!" He got another selfie with a young girl, around eleven or twelve, then headed back up towards set with his escorts. I say escorts, because Chandler looked ready to run back down the hill and talk some more, if no one was there to stop him, he probably would have by now.

Amanda searched high and low for Steven, and after another five minutes, a lot of people disbursed, a few mentioned being back tomorrow afternoon, and I'd be at work during that time.

"Did everyone just leave?" Amanda asked in confusion, spinning around in the empty lot. "What if Steven doesn't come down because no one is here?" She asked, her face unreadable in the darkness.

"Uhh, I wouldn't worry. I'm sure Chandler passed on your message." I say slowly, looking up the hill at an incoming, tall dark pair of figures.

"Why do you say that?" She asks in confusion.

"Because I think they're coming right now, look." I pointed as they approached, and it was light enough to make out the face of Amanda's idol on the other side of the fence. The only cast member I'd recognize anywhere, because she had posters all over her bedroom walls of him, his face her computer background and last name her phone passcode.

The squeal that emitted from Amanda's throat could never be reproduced in literature, not in words, the excitement could not be described using any word in the dictionary.

"It's- it's you! I've been dying to meet you!" She stuttered, Steven laughed and grinned, sticking his hand across the barrier in a gesture she was slow to comprehend. She quickly shook his hand.

"Rebecca!" She called in high pitched excitement, gesturing for a picture. "Can I get a picture with you?" She grinned at him uncontrollably.

"Sure!" Steven was being very kind to her, which I was grateful for. I've always heard that meeting your idol was terrible because they're never how you imagined. But judging from her ecstatic reaction, he was everything she hoped he'd be.

I waited for them to pose, then snapped a photo, the flash lit up their meeting, faces frozen in smiles of happiness, Amanda's closer to psychotic.

I turned away to let them talk, listening to Amanda fire questions and comments at him. I noticed there was someone else beside him a few feet back. He was tall, broad shouldered, and remained a dark, unrecognizable silhouette.

I leaned back against the metal fencing and listened to Amanda, glad she'd finally got to meet him.

"-So I was worried and called up my best friend, oh, Rebecca is right there, and she told me I should try and visit you in the hospital, but I couldn't get in close enough, and-"

My cheeks warmed up, she spoke like I'd told her to stalk him. Time to fire back. "She stalks you." I state matter-of-factly, looking Steven in the eye. "Crazy cyber stalker."

She laughed nervously, and Steven laughed genuinely. "That's awesome. I don't hear stories like that too often... Normally, it's Norman the fans are after, hey, didn't some girl give you her breast implant?" Steven laughed, looking back at the other figure, who was probably 'Norman.'

He laughed, a deep, nervous rumble. "Yeah, I keep it in my trailer now and use it as a phone cradle."

We all laughed, and I relaxed a bit. Something was wrong, though... Something was familiar about the situation.

Amanda launched back into a new conversation, and I looked back behind me at Norman, he faced me, face too dark to see, but I could feel eyes on me.

"What are you staring at?" I demanded, it sounded rude and I regretted it. I had meant it jokingly.

"Nuthin... You look familiar, that's all." He shrugged, looking down. I felt bad instantly, because he looked like a kicked puppy when offended. "Hey- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude... Guess it shouldn't go without saying, I'm terrible at making friends."

I frown at how honest my words are. My whole life was a struggle, to find someone who found you significantly interesting. Someone to share interests with, laugh with...

He looked up again, or so I thought, I could see his outline in the lights behind them, coming from over the hill. He chuckled, and I didn't feel so awkward, either. "You seem familiar to me, too." I say after a moment, realizing what had been off was him, his voice I recognized.

"Well, I am an actor." He laughed, a warm, deep sound.

"Maybe that's where I remember you from..." I muse thoughtfully, "I used to watch you on Barnie."

He gasped, a surprised, faked offended sound, he broke out laughing. "Okay..." He recovered slowly, "I had that one coming."

Then, Amanda's phone began ringing in my hand, I shot a look at Amanda, her eyes widened. "Who is it?"

I checked. "Your mom."

"Oh crap!" She exclaimed, "She doesn't know I'm here, she can't know I am here, Rebecca, throw her off!"

"What?-"

"Create a diversion." She explained quickly. "Hurry up, it's already to the third ring and she'll get suspicious!"

"Okay, okay..." I mumbled, hitting answer and holding the phone to my ear warily. "Hello?"

"Amanda! Amanda? Where are you?"

"Oh, hi, Mrs. Baker. This is Rebecca."

"Oh... Rebecca, hi! Is Amanda there?"

"Yeah, uh, she was staying over for the night..." I paused, trying to think up something better. "I guess she forgot to call you."

"She has classes tomorrow!" Mrs. Baker exclaimed anxiously. "Can I please speak to her?"

I shot Amanda one of those 'your mom wants to talk to you, what do you want to do' looks. She held out her hand for the phone, walking towards the car to take care of it. I noticed there was laughter, and looked back at the barrier, Steven and Norman were laughing their asses off. I narrowed my eyes at them both warily.

"What?"

"You just lied to her mother!" Norman cackled, I rolled my eyes. "I'd better get Amanda back to my place before her mom comes over to actually check. It was nice meeting you both." I waved and retreated towards the car, Amanda was just finishing up.

"I'm thinking we'd better get you back," I tell her, getting in driver's seat instead.

"I think you're right..." She sighed, "Just let me say my goodbyes..."

I watched her from the car, say goodbye to the two weird actors, before setting off towards me again and getting in passenger. She was absolutely quiet until we were out of sight of the barrier, then she exclaimed loudly. "HOLY SHITFUCK, I FINALLY MET STEVEN YEUN!"

She waved her arms out the window, sticking her head out into the night. I laughed, "Tonight was golden, then?"

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" She laughed back, a cackle lost in the wind and tossing debris behind us.