Everything.

Mr. Unise fired Janet.

And I felt terribly guilty about it.

I sat in my bedroom alone that night, sipping from a bottle of alcoholic substance carelessly, it was one of those nights. I felt bad, despite the constant burn in my cheek reminding me why I'd said anything to Mr. Unise in the first place, I felt guilty, and knew it was my fault. I knew that after personally offending her, I deserved everything that came with those actions, and it still got her into trouble.

Sighing, I rubbed my neck and sat up, dropping the bottle onto the bedside table with a groan. I wasn't in the mood to get shitfaced drunk or tipsy, I just wanted the guilt to go away, and there was no one I could call to talk to, someone to help me sort it out. No one who ultimately cared.

I thought about Mark again, and it was ridiculous. He was just some dude who was nice to me, and I was jumping to conclusions. I resisted the urge to hit myself with a pillow. Everything about him was interesting, I wanted to know more about him, but I was scared to ask. Scared to get involved, to start caring.

I was being silly, I knew that. Still, I couldn't shake it. Every fiber of my being hung onto his words, remembering them better than my own phone number or address, burned into my mind, and unable to forget.

There was a dreamy feeling sifting through my head, and that feeling wanted to unlock my every secret. The secrets so dark, I didn't even trust myself enough to tell myself. And they were my secrets. What was I hiding from myself? With a wince, I allowed the thought to place itself center-stage. What was so terrible about it? The swarm of butterflies trampling through my stomach made it obvious. I liked him. I liked Mark, I liked him more than I should.

I frown, it's wrong. I don't have the time, money or future for a dedicated relationship of this kind. Something unheard of for me, something I had only ever read and watched in movies, experienced only briefly in my high school crushes, but this was different. It literally crushed me.

I pick up the bottle and down another swig. It doesn't make me feel any better, though... I have butterflies in my stomach and a thousand words on my chest that sit there like a ton of bricks. I can't breathe, I just gasp for air until it renders me unconscious.



In the morning light streaming through my bedroom window, I feel at ease, better, rested, my skin doesn't downright ache now, but as I slowly drag myself to my bedroom mirror, I see first hand how much strength Janet Russel possessed in her hand. A purplish black bruise is forming. Oblong dark shapes stretching across my cheek bones, and fading into soft peach again. I sigh, what a wonderful day it has turned out to be, already.

I pull open my curtains to breathe in the crisp morning air, but the storm clouds that form a halo around Atlanta bring me up short. Last night was one of those nights, and today was going to be one of those days. I could see myself staying indoors all day, like a normal person. But like the normal person I am not, I will probably be found on the roof of the apartement in the middle of the rain storm, dramatically singing and dancing, pretending I'm in a music video, because no one can see me up there.

I sigh and start picking out my clothes for the day, and step into the shower, because it turns out, having a bad mood makes you feel and smell rotten. After that, I slapped on some concealer to cover the nasty bruise. Grimacing the whole time.

"Good morning, Rebecca." Mr. Unise greeted with more warmth than necessary when I got downstairs. Something in his expression screamed 'I have to be really nice to you or you might try to sue me.' I smiled back and returned the greeting.

The Laundromat was pretty busy, already, so I put off getting some nasty coffee from the breakroom while I rung up the ticket of a middle aged woman in a long, floral dress. Again, today I was tired, exhausted, even. I warded that off while trying to concentrate on tapping the right numbers into the key pad.

"Thank you for visiting Whirlie's." I smiled at her, repeating the same automated words I do every day. The radio was on, but it was some sports talk show. Something was picking at me, and I couldn't decipher what it was.

"How are you feeling today?" Mr. Unise appeared out of thin air again, and I assumed he would be watching me very closely today.

"Alright." I reply nochalantly, tapping in another purchase.

"Your bruise is already gone?" He asked curiously, annoying me when he had to lean around the counter in my workspace to get a good look.

"No." I say, "I'm just really good at applying makeup. Here's your change, ma'am. Five, ten, fifteen and twenty. Have a nice day." I smiled at her until she turned away, then I turned to Mr. Unise. "Why did you fire Janet?" I demanded out right. The guilt had been bothering me, even while I lay unconscious in my room, it poked at me, laughed at me and made me feel terrible.

Surprise crossed his face. "Well, it's company policy that there be no fighting between coworkers, and she lashed out at you first, didn't she?"

"That's the problem!" I exclaim, lowering my voice when people looked up curiously. "I verbally assualted her, and she got pissed and swiped at me. I knew I had it coming, and I accepted that. Sure, it hurt like a bitch, but I deserved it. I said some really terrible things to her, and she did one physical thing to me. I wasn't trying to get anyone fired, and at first, I was helping her, then she got mad... And we just went at it." I frowned with guilt, looking at my feet because I couldn't stand the fatherly gaze Mr. Unise was using on me. The understanding nods and no interruptions, he was probably planning in his head to fire me, too.

"Well... Would it make you feel better if I spoke with Janet again?"

"Really?" I asked, looking up at him slowly. He nodded. "Maybe even offer her a position back on the team? I can tell her it was a misunderstanding."

"Oh, thank you!" I exclaimed, but still, the guilt laughed away, chewing at my ease of mind. It was still my fault it had happened in the first place. Mr. Unise smiled at me, and proceeded to his office. I knew I'd probably have trouble facing Janet, now. I'd probably make myself apologize, and it'd be awkward because I had meant every word I said.

The workday came and went, and I was in a daze for most of it. Amanda came around lunch time and we went out to a diner up the street. We didn't have a whole lot to talk about other than meeting the cast of The Walking Dead, it was as though nothing else mattered in our relationship now. I reminded myself time and time again that I was being ridiculous. We were best friends, and there was just something that had my mood off. I laughed at another joke, secretly frowning inside, I felt like something was wrong.

"Is everything okay?" She asked after a while, I looked up at her, really unsure how to answer that.

"Yeah." I replied, taking a drink of soda to back it up, but she narrowed her eyes at me. "You've been off. Forced laughs and smiles, a frown always creeping back in, and I get the feeling you haven't heard half of what I've said this afternoon." She looked at me, and there was concern in her eyes.

"I just haven't been feeling very well." I admit, leaning back in the diner chair, crossing my hands on my lap. "Moody, tired, depressed thoughts at times, and just general anxiety. I dunno if that's a normal combination, though." I shrug to blow it off, but inside, I'm a little scared.

"Are you sure you're not like, y'know, pregnant?"

I shake me head, and cannot even bring myself to smile. "No. It can't be that... Maybe it's just stress and jitters. Who knows?"

"Do you need me to take you to a doctor?" She asked, worry creasing her forehead. If Amanda is genuinely worried about you, she'll do that, and not for any other reason.

"No..." I shake my head. "I think I might be making too much out of it, I think I'll wait a little longer. If anything changes or worsens, I'll let you know." I put up a small smile.

She sends it back, but frowns again. "Are you sure? I have plenty of time to go now, and you could call your boss and take it off. I just feel like if it's something, we should get ahead of it, you know?" Her eyes were wide and pleading, and I refused to look at them.

"I'm sure." I confirmed, nodding and standing up, fishing a tip from my pocket and setting it on the table for the waiter. "I probably need to get back to work now, anyways. I'll see you around, okay?" I looked at her, and she was still wearing that worried expression. "...Sure. I'll call you later, okay?"

I nodded in agreement, and headed out of the diner, down the street, back to my dulldrum job.



It had been a while. A while since I'd spoken to anyone outside of Atlanta. I hadn't talked to Mom in three weeks, Derek in four, and my older sister, Jess in over two months. Guilt crowded my thoughts again, and soon, I was reaching for my phone, dialing my mother's familiar home number.

"Hello?" A voice picked up on the other end. Not just any voice, her voice. My Mother. Just hearing her speak made me want to run home to her. God knows why I'm still in Atlanta after that job fell through, I really had no reason to hang around.

"Mom!" I exclaimed into the reciever, my voice so overjoyed, it cracked and sounded like I was crying.

"Rebecca? Is that you? Are you okay?" Her voice, always warm, was filled with alarm.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, Mom. It's me..." I took a deep breath. "I'm okay, I just missed you, that's all."

She sighed in relief. "Rebecca, sweetie, I've missed you too. How's Atlanta?"

I half smiled, "Exciting as ever." I snickered.

"Still working at that Laundromat?"

"Yep..." I recalled my recent incidents and decided to change topics before I veered off into telling my mother I called my coworker a slut, and she slapped me.

"Something exciting happened." I say, wishing I had a phone cord to wrap around my fingers like my Mother had at her house. I held my phone to my ear, nothing but a sticky screen stuck to my cheek.

"What's that?" Her voice was curious.

"You know my friend Amanda?"

"Yes, I think she answered your phone once?"

"Yep. Anyways, she's a big fan of that zombie show, The Walking Dead. So when I had Sunday off, we drove down to Savannah and met the cast at the set."

"Oh." She sounded surprised, and also sounded like she hadn't been expecting that. "Well, that's awesome! I didn't know you watched that show."

"I don't, but she's crazy about it." I laughed, "I had nothing better to do with my day, anyways. It was nice. I met Chandler Riggs, Steven Yeun and Norman... Norman something, I didn't catch his last name. Amanda met them and Alexandra Breckenridge, Lauren Cohan and Andrew Lincoln." I was surprised I could remember their full names at all...

She laughed on the other end. "That's amazing, Rebecca. I'm glad you had a good day. Hey, have you thought about what you're doing for your 29th?"

29? Holy crap...

"My birthday?" I replied stupidly, to be honest, it hadn't once crossed my mind. "I dunno, when is that?" I was pushing aside papers on my kitchen table, looking for my calender. I checked out the date. "Ohh, that's... Two weeks from now, the... tenth of June. Okay, I might be able to make it up there."

"Oh honey, do whatever works for you. We can all come out there, too. Just let me know."

"Okay, Mom..." I couldn't believe I'd actually forgotten when my birthday was. Maybe I was more stressed out than I thought.

"Oh, I've got to go, someone's at the door. I'll talk to you soon, I love you."

"Okay, I love you, too, Mom. Bye."

"Bye." She replied. And she was gone.