I Want to Complicate You

As anyone should know, if you feel like you’re on cloud nine, you tend to fall, and that’s exactly what I did. I have a tendency to hold onto hope even after I have repeatedly claimed that I know it will never happen. So the small part of eighth grade me that was still holding onto the hope that Brendon and I would reunite and then start dating was killed when I was reminded that Brendon Urie was in fact dating someone already.

Yes I know I sound cliché with the whole best friend falling for the other. To my defense I didn’t even realize it until I moved. So when I came out of the recording booth to see how things were sounding and he asked me to come over so I could meet Sarah, I pushed the disappointed feeling to the deep, dark trenches of my mind and plopped down next to him. After all I was not entitled to feel anything other than friendship towards Brendon; I lost that right when I moved.

I smiled wide and waved at Sarah, on the phone screen, they were face timing. “Hello!” I greeted.

“Hello!” She replied. “Nice to meet you, Rose. I’ve heard a great deal about you.”

I laughed. “I hope all good things. Sadly I haven’t been able to properly catch up with Brendon so I look forward to hearing about you. Although it does seem like you’ve been able to keep him in line so props to you on that.” We laughed and Brendon pouted, which caused us to laugh more.

“You’re sounding really good, by the way Rose. I knew you just had to stop being nervous so your true power could come out.” He teased, nudging me playfully but I knew he was being genuine.

“Thanks, guess I just needed to break away from the chorus scene to find it.” I replied.

Yes, it’s true, I used to not sing to my full potential and Brendon got onto me about it constantly. I was always worried I wasn’t as good as people said. I never felt entitled to solos or lead parts but years of not getting one did a number on one’s esteem. It wasn’t until high school when I fully started to not really care and finally opened up while performing. After performing in my sophomore year talent show with No Limits was when it all sort of clicked for me.

“Rose, we need you for this chorus part.” Mitsy’s voice rang out into the room.

I looked up to see the band circled around a single mic in the main booth. I gave her a thumbs up and looked back to Sarah. “It was very nice to meet ya. Hopefully next time it’ll be in person.” I smiled before skipping off to record the last chorus. The song we were working on built up nicely but at the end we basically only sang with Mikey tapping out a beat on a cajon drum.

Spencer and Brendon flew back to LA after our dinner break so they could regroup for when we would all join back up in Philadelphia. Josh, Mitsy, Mikey and I went back to the studio to put some finishing touches on things. We wouldn’t be able to record much once we were on tour so we wanted to get as much done as we could.

The next morning was complete and utter chaos. Music had filled the small house we shared as we were trying to figure out what to pack. Calvin stopped by to grab all of our gear and thankfully answered our million and one questions. It was like we had never gone on tour before. Once we knew what we needed to pack, things went a lot smoother and we made it to our flight on time. As the plane took off, so did my nerves. I would maintain this nervous energy until I actually walked out on stage because yes, I still do get stage fright.

When we saw that we were being picked up from the airport in a bus we all screamed in excitement before heading over to it. It was like we finally could feel like we were truly starting our dream. We claimed our bunks and just before we could settle in for the ride we were at the venue. We thanked Steve, our bus driver, as we filed out of the bus. Sound check wasn’t until one the next day so we decided to explore a bit. Well, Josh, Mitsy, and Mikey did, I headed over to the Panic bus, I had friends to catch up with after all. I knocked on their bus door and a few seconds later, Spencer opened the door. When he saw that it was me, he smiled wide. “Rose! So glad you could join us. We were just about to start our next movie.” He said as he ushered me in.

“Perfect! Which movie?” I asked as we made our way to the back.

“Just about to start a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon so we can go see the new movie later.”

I smiled over at him. “Looks like I came over just in time then. Those are my favorite movies.”

He smiled back at me before pushing the curtain to the side, allowing me to walk into the room before him, ever the gentleman. “Look who’s decided to stop by.” He announced since the other seemed engrossed in their debate on which Pirate movie was the best.

Brendon looked over and smiled when he saw me. “Rose! Quick, best Pirates movie?” He looked hopeful, like my answer would somehow help him win.

“I’m gonna have to go with the first one.” I answered.

Brendon beamed. “Ha! The lady has spoken and she has chosen wisely.”

Spencer and I both shook our heads at Brendon’s antics. “Since Brendon only cares about movies, I guess I’ll introduce you. Rose, this is Dallon and Ian. Dallon and Ian, this is Rose. She’s the lead singer of our opening band but also a childhood friend of mine and Bren’s.”

I smiled and waved to the guys that were sharing the smaller couch. They waved back and then Brendon was patting the seat next to him. Once more I was sharing a couch with Brendon and Spencer. I gave Brendon a sideways hug before settling into my seat. During the movies I stole popcorn from both boys since they had run out of bowls. By the middle of the third movie, I could feel myself grow tired.

Since I favor my left side when I sleep, I curled up against Spence, using his shoulder as a pillow. It was too dark and I was already too far gone in the Sandman’s spell that I couldn’t be for certain that Brendon looked a little jealous that I was using Spencer for my pillow and not him.

The next morning I was woken up by someone relentlessly poking me in the arm. “I swear to god if you keep poking me, you’re gonna get slapped.” I grumbled.

My eyes finally opened when I heard the sound of Brendon’s laughter. “You’re really not a morning person are you?”

I shook my head before stretching. They must have just let me sleep here instead of giving me back to my band mates. Shit, my band mates. They must be so worried. I shot up and turned to look at Brendon with wide eyes.

As if he read my mind he patted my knee. “Josh came looking for you last night when they returned from whatever they did. They know you’re here and I’m sure they’ll be happy to have you return.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding. “Okay, good.”

Brendon then stood and held out his hands to help me up. “But you are of course more than welcome to stay for breakfast.” He said as we made our way to the front of the bus.

“I might have to put a rain check on that one. I should probably go back over. Mitsy’s probably taken out all of the items in her suitcase to find the best first day of tour outfit which means Josh and Mikey are more than likely buried under clothes mountain.”

Brendon chuckled. “Alright, see you at sound check then.”

I smiled as I stepped off the bus, the others must already be inside at the venue, “See you then.”

When I stepped on to my bus, my guess about what was going on was pretty much spot on. The boys looked up at me when they heard the door open.

“Oh thank god.” Mikey breathed out.

“Will you please for the love of god help her pick something out so we can get to sound check on time.” Josh said.

I couldn’t help but to laugh as I made my way back to where Mitsy was. When she saw me, she let out a delighted squeal when she saw me. “You can tell me about your night with Panic later and you better not leave out any details but first help me pick an outfit.”

I simply rolled my eyes at what she implied but was rather surprised clothes mountain hadn’t made an appearance. Instead three outfits were laid out on the back of the couch. I walked over to them to inspect them more closely. Keeping in mind what I planned on wearing tonight, I pointed to the one in the middle. “That one.”

Mitsy came over and took a look at which one I was pointing at. She smiled and picked up the hanger. “I was leaning towards that one.” She said as she hung it on the curtain rod.

“Now, how was your night?” She asked turning to face me.

“It was good. We had a Pirates marathon and I fell asleep in the middle of the third one. I’m assuming they just let me lay out on the couch once the movie was over and they put a blanket over me before going to bed themselves.”

Mitsy pouted. “Well that’s boring.”

I laughed. “Not all of us like to have crazy nights.” I patted her shoulder as I made my way to my own suitcase to grab the outfit I was going to wear today.