Poetic tragedy

Poetic tragedy

The cup is not half empty as pessimists say
As far as he sees nothing's left in the cup
A whole cup full of nothing for him to indulge
Since the voice of ambition has long since been shut up
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Neil: I never lived my life … Somebody else always did. I never had a 'full cup' so to say. The others drank it for me. I had ambitions … Loads of them. But my father never let me do anything and I listened. Some people might say I'm spineless, but I'm not. I'm not even scared. I'm smart. I know I can't say anything wrong, or I'd be punished. I really like school. OK … Not school, but my friends there. Only there I can really be myself.

Todd: My parents aren't that domineering like Neil's. They just don't care. But my brother … He controls everything. He has the full cup, so I have to indulge mine empty. Every one of us here has ambitions … I don't. My brother took them. My greatest ambition was to go to Welton (yeah … I'm a nerd) but he was here first so it didn't matter much. When I was five years old, I wanted to read. I wanted to read poems, stories, … out loud for living. But of course he told me that that's lame. Then he went to our uncle, who was a poet and asked him if he could read at his next literal evening. He was a star, and now I don't want to read at all.

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A singer, a writer, he's not dreaming now of going nowhere
He gave heed to nothing, and all that he was …
Is just a tragedy
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Neil: I used to dream, how I'm going to fail my life miserably, how I'll get nowhere, but now I know what I really want to do. I used to be a boy, who gave heed to nothing, but now I realized that what that boy was, is indeed just a tragedy. But me now … I'm not nothing now. I'm an actor. I started to become something when Mr. Keating came. I like him, I really do, so I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to him, to all …

Todd: Mr. Keating changed my life. I used to be nothing, now I'm everything. I became a writer. Well … Not a whole writer yet. I know I can write, I know I have the talent to do so, but there's still a long journey ahead. That day in class changed my life. The 'blanket' one. Before that I was a tragedy. Now I'm a writer.

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So he voyages in circles
Succeeds getting nowhere
And submits to the substance
That first got him there
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Neil: It's all because of my father. He wouldn't accept me, for who I am, so I had to hide the fact of me being an actor from him. Everything I said to him was like a path, that would only get me on a spot of where I started.

/ Začarani krog. Vicious circle /

So I didn't tell him. It's his fault.

Todd: Now I'm on a journey of living my original path. I used to travel in small circles, always coming back to the 'right' spot. I'm not used to standing out in a crowd, but now I had to. I always try to fit in, but as a Dead Poet I had to be someone special. My true self was slowly coming on surface.

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Then in violent, frustration he cries out to God
Or just no one
Is there a point to this madness and all that he was …
Is just a tragedy
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Neil: I have a secret. Every once in a while I get mad. Not just angry, but … I don't even know a proper word to describe how I feel. I can't talk to anyone then. It's probably because I stack my anger too much. When I'm in that faze, I have to let it out. When I started Welton, I found very distant cave. Every time I got mad I went there and yelled. I let it all out. Even though we now use this cave for much nicer reasons, I still go there. Alone. Not that much, but I still do. Sometimes I wonder if this madness, we call life, even has a meaning. We live, we study, we work and then we die. But you have to find meaning in yourself. You can live your life as a tragedy or you can break out and become something. This is exactly what I'm doing.

Todd: I'm a poet. Young, but a poet nevertheless. Poets are always special. I must just find my way. I feel better when I write. I can say anything I want then. When I first came here, I was angry. I didn't show it, but I was. I didn't know how to express this anger, and now I do. I write, so I can express my anger, yet create something beautiful. It's the same with sorrow and … love. Life has changed a lot for me, since I'm here.

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He feels alone
His heart in his hand
He's alone
He feels alone
I feel …
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Neil: I'm just beginning to understand, how much Todd and I are alike. Maybe he's even braver than I am. I pretend to be brave, to be happy, he dares to admit he's not. I may be surrounded by my friends, but deep inside, I feel alone. So alone, sometimes I think I will break. But I survive. I let anyone in my heart, hoping it will be the one to carry my loneliness away. But it never is. Maybe the person doesn't even exist. Maybe I must just work my way through the loneliness.

Todd: I'm alone. That's a fact. I learned how to live with it. I found one true friend this year. Neil. He's the only real friend I had. I don't know why he did this to himself, to us, his friends. OK … I understand him, but when you have experienced not being alone, it’s hard to go back. I feel so much emotion right now. I feel sorrow, anger, … but the worst of all is that I feel, what I haven't felt for a whole year now. I feel … alone.

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Than on that last day he breaks
And he stood tall
And he yelled … And he takes his life
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Neil: Sitting behind this desk now, I think that I had lived my life. This year I finally saw my cup as half full. I gathered enough courage to stand before my father and actually say something. It didn't work, but … I did it. I have no choice. If I didn't 'go' now, than … I'd be living against my wishes, and that's not good. Last words for my beloved friends:

Charlie: Don't mourn my death. Don't cry. Be yourself and laugh through it.

Knox: Don't screw your chance with Chris … She's the girl for you.

Meeks: Don't change for others. Inherit the earth, as you want it.

Pitts: Don't be the quiet one anymore … Please … You have a lot to say. Say it!
Captain: Don't give up. You taught us more in this year, than anybody else in our whole lives.

Todd: Todd … SPEAK UP! BE YOURSELF! WRITE! And please … don't forget about me.

I know they'll never hear this words, but they know how I feel. They know …

Todd: This was my last day of my journey. I left my path completely at English today. Captain came to gather his belongings. I wanted to tell him how I felt. And for the first time in my whole life, I did. I stood up and I yelled. I saw he was proud. I was too. I know what to do now. I must speak up. I must be myself. And most important, I must write.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hope you like it. I had to write something DPS related and this just came out.
xoxo
Nuša