There There

The first thing that hit me when I entered the house was the stench of beer, weed, and body odor. The smell was so overwhelming that I had to struggle to keep my eyes from watering up. I desperately wanted to leave the house immediately but my wrist was in the steel firm grip of my best friend Andy who was determined to find the green haired boy who had invited her to this New Years Party in the first place. She led me deeper and deeper into the sea of sweaty bodies that kept hitting me. I tried to keep my food from coming up. This was really some disgusting shit.

“Andy let go will ya!” I struggled to remove myself from her grasp but she just kept charging through the mass of people as if she didn’t hear me, which was no surprise as the house was literally shaking from the blaring noise of guitars and drums. I wanna go home, I kept whining to myself. As I was being dragged into the house I couldn’t help but notice the odd assortment of people in the house. They were dressed in dark colors, had lots of buckles and chains hanging from their clothing, lots of piercings and odd colored hair. Wait, was this a punk party or something? That’s just great! Instead of being snug in my bed at home I’m stuck with pill popping misfits. Just perfect.

I was too busy watching a couple practically dry hump each other on a couch when I bumped into someone really hard. I didn’t notice that Andy had stopped walking and had finally let go of my wrist, which I massaged a bit to get the feeling back in it. I glared at her, boy was this bitch gonna get it. But Andy seemed to be in lala land. Her eyes were completely focused on something, her gaze was so intense that I don’t even think she was aware of the party. I followed her gaze and that’s when I realized that the loud guitars I heard from earlier were coming from this room, but it wasn’t the sound of the radio playing. I realized that we were in some sort of basement and a live band was playing on some makeshift stage. And sure enough the green haired boy was on that stage, his sweaty face making weird faces to the crowd as he pounded away on the drums.

The anger came flooding back into me. I yanked Andy away from the makeshift stage and dragged her away from crowd and pushed her into a corner at the side of the stage.

I started to scream at her but she just kept looking at me with some dumbfounded look and kept screaming “What!” Over and over again. I rolled my eyes, this night was really turning into a huge pile of shit. I scanned the room and found a door on the other side of the stage, grabbing Andy’s hand I pulled her across the crowd that was jamming out to the band. I lost my balance for a second and nearly hit my head on the stage but I felt an arm grab me and looked up. The lead singer of the band looked at me with concerned eyes while I nodded as a thank you and kept on walking, dragging my best friend behind me. We made it to the other side of the room and I opened the door, only to find that it wasn’t an exit but a closet. I pushed Andy in there and shut the door. The noise of the music was still around us but now at least Andy could now hear me swear at her, and swear I did.

“I can’t fucking believe you dragged me out here Andrea! You lied to me! You actually fucking lied! And for what? For some stupid boy you met at a music store!?” I could feel the heat radiating from my face and Andy cowered a bit. I almost felt bad and normally I would’ve apologized immediately but after the week I had, hell she knew better than to lie to me.

“Meg I’m sorry ok? I didn’t wanna lie to you I really didn’t but I was worried about you!” she pleaded. I glared at her and crossed my arms; determined not to let her off the hook so fast.

“I didn’t want you to be alone tonight of all nights!” I looked down at my feet as her sentence brought back a tidal wave of memories that hit me at full force. Tonight was supposed to be my second year anniversary with my ex boyfriend Ben. He broke up with me three weeks ago and has since started dating another girl. Since then, I’ve been holed in my apartment with nothing but the feeling of rejection for company. . I sighed and opened my arms, she smiled and pulled me into a bear hug which I’m not gonna lie I really needed.

She returned my hug. “You’ve shut down since Ben left you, which I totally get, but it’s time to spend with friends and family and you’re both to me. Please don’t be mad, I just want you to have fun.” She looked at me with her concerned hazel eyes and my anger melted away. She could be a little stupid sometimes but she had a good heart and I could never stay mad at for long.

“So that drummer is cute huh?” I said while we were still hugging. I heard her girly giggle.

“Holy shit isn’t he! Like I’m not usually into that whole punk look but maybe I can make an exception.” I giggled as we separated.

“You’re too boy crazy you know that right?”

She scoffed, “how can I forget when you remind me everyday?”

“Hmm fair point. Hey the music stopped, you should go out there and talk to him. I’ll bet he’s probably looking for you.” Her face lit up and she reached for the door but stopped.

“Wait I can’t leave you alone, it’s not fair. I did drag you here after all.” Leave it to Andy to always try to do the right thing.

“Nah it’s ok I’ll be fine. We’ll meet up around midnight ok? I’m gonna go outside for a cigarette and some fresh air, I honestly might puke any second.”

She smiled at me and took my hand and we exited the closet together. I followed her as she made her way to the side stage where the band was chilling. The green haired drummer jumped from his seat when he saw Andy approach them and I gave her a reassuring smile and nudged her gently in his direction. I watched her strut up to him and couldn’t help but smile to myself, that girl really deserved the world. I felt a pair of eyes on me and saw the singer of the band staring at me. He gave me a little smile and I just nodded as I split off, in desperate search of an exit.

I climbed up the stairs that led to the ground floor of the house and made my way down a hallway that led into a kitchen. There was a cooler of beers in front of some sliding doors. Finally, an exit! I scooped up a beer as my prize for finding the way out and stepped into the comfortable night air. A cool breezed tickled my face and I was in pure bliss. I sat down in the cool grass, grateful that no one seemed to be outside. Man now this was a way to spend a night; with a beer, the stars, and some peace and quiet. I sipped my beer perfectly content until I heard someone ask for a light.

I looked behind me to find the singer of that band looking down at me, his hands in his pockets, a shy smile on his face. So much for no boys I thought. I merely nodded at him and turned back to face the night sky as he lit his cigarette, ignoring the fact that I hadn’t heard him walk away yet. I made no effort to turn and talk to him, he’d leave eventually when he realized I didn’t wanna be bothered. I just continued to sip on my beer and enjoy the cool breeze.

After a minute or two I did hear his footsteps, but they were getting closer to me instead of further. What the hell is he doing? I thought. I mentally screamed at him to go away,.\ but of course he did the opposite and plops down right next to me and makes himself comfortable.

“So you’re friend likes Tre huh?” He asked, not looking at me but looking ahead. I was genuinely surprised that he was actually making conversation, since people thought I was boring. But he didn’t know me so I guess he hadn’t realized that.

“If that’s the dude with the green hair then yes, Andy likes him I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Well why do you guess?” He asks, this time looking at me for an answer.

“What kind of stupid question is that?” I demand, actually looking at him for the first time since he sat down.

“I don’t know.” He says lightly, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Weirdo.” I mumble before taking another sip of my beer, which I find is empty. I stare at it with a glum look, and almost pout. Man that was some really good beer.

“You look really adorable right now” the stranger next to me chuckled.

“Huh? What the hell man you don’t even know me!” the beer was forgotten at this point. This guy was really getting on my nerves and was getting too weird for my taste.

“So what, you’re sitting there pouting at an empty bottle of beer, it’s cute. You look like a little girl, a pretty little girl. Not that I’m into little girls it’s just…fuck I think you’re pretty.” He babbled.

At this point he began to fiddle with his cigarette nervously, avoiding my eye contact while I looked at him bewildered. Then I burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. And this wasn’t no ordinary fit of laughter, it was your I can’t breathe, I think I got a 6 pack now type of laughter. Pretty soon the stranger joined in and we just sat there in the middle of some guys lawn and laughed.

“Holy shit you’re so weird man. Like where the hell did that even come from?” I finally managed to speak when I came to. The stranger shrugged.

“I have no fucking clue. Sorry, I’m a little drunk right now I guess.” He grinned at me, and this time I found myself actually smiling back.

“Oh, you guess?” I sneered. His eyes lit up as his face pulled into a huge smile.

He wouldn’t stop grinning and I couldn’t help myself from smiling back, whether I liked it or not, his smile was infectious. I don’t know why this was, maybe it was because he looked like a schoolboy when he did, or maybe it’s because his eyes sparkled. Oh man those eyes, those fucking green eyes man…

“So what brings you here on this fine night?” he questioned, bringing me out of my thoughts about his beautiful eyes.

“Umm I don’t know, Andy, my friend dragged me here because…” I trailed off, reluctant to continue. I didn’t wanna go spilling my guts to a random stranger and I didn’t want anyone pitying me either.

“Ah I get it, personal shit huh? That’s cool. My band actually forced me to play tonight. We don’t usually play at house parties anymore but they felt that I needed it tonight but so far, I don’t know if they were right. I don’t feel much better to be honest.” He looked a little defeated at admitting it and his tone was a little somber. This was a change from the annoying boy I had just laughed with a few moments ago.

“Personal shit?” I asked. He just nodded gravely.

“To personal shit!” I cheered as I held up in the empty beer bottle as if I were doing a toast. The action caused him to burst into laughter which was my intention. The atmosphere had gotten a little too somber for my taste, plus I liked his laugh.

“What’s your name?” he asked me when he finally composed himself.

“It’s Meg. And yours?” I asked, not denying the fact that I was burning with curiosity.

“Billie Joe Armstrong.”

“Whoa dude how did you get settled with that?” I teased. It was quite the name, but he did look like a Billie to me.

“Well my mom is from Oklahoma…” he trailed off.

“Oh nuff said.”

He flicked his cigarette to the ground and cleared his throat. "So I'll tell you my personal shit if you tell me yours."

Thia statement surprised me. I was so insignificant and boring so why would this complete stranger want to know? What if he thought it was as pathetic or my fault? He seemed like a genuine guy but something made me hesitate in telling him.

"How about you tell me yours then I'll tell you mine." He glared at me, which I knew I deserved. I merely shrugged back, refusing to give in. He let out a breathe of air and simply nodded.

************************************************************

"I just thought Adie would be different, y'know? I talked to her on a completely different level. I'll admit that it scared me at first. I'm pretty shitty with relationships y'know? But she made me feel that maybe there really could be someone out there for me." We had been sitting cross legged facing each other as he opened up to me about a recent break up that he was finding it hard to bounce back from, which I completely understood.

"It's like I have completely lost confidence in myself and it has been effecting my music life. I don't want to perform, I don't want to write songs, I feel like I can't be what the band needs me to be. Those were things that at one point I felt like I was destined to do, but now not so much." He had this defeated look on his face, as he sat hunched over, looking at the ground. I felt so bad for him and before I realized it I was reaching over and resting my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at my touch, his green eyes meeting my own.

"Well from the little I saw up stage, it certainly doesn't seem like that you being on stage is an accident. To me it looked like you belonged up there and no where else." I told him truthfully.
It really was scary how one person can be responsible for putting out a flame that had shined so brightly before.

He gave me a small smile and perked up a little. "Now it's your turn," he said.

At this point I wasn't really hesitant to tell him my troubles anymore. Billie Joe and I were similar in many ways and it gave me the courage to open up"

*************************************************************

"Right now I can't even give you a reason as to why Ben and I stayed together. I mean it's not like he was abusive or anything but he never let me forget how incompetent I was. It was as if by dating me he was doing me a favor because no one else would....I know this all sounds pathetic but-" Billie Joe cut me off at this point.

"Wait, don't tell me you actually believed that asshole? Because look I don't know you but I do know that plenty of guys would be interested, you don't need anyone to do you any favors." I was completely taken aback. Andy had said the same thing to me when Ben left, but I mean she was my best friend so naturally she would say that, but I did not expect this to come from the green eyed boy that was sitting across from me.

"Well I guess he was right some other ways. I'm not really capable of much and I'm kinda pathetic..."
I finished. Billie Joe gave me a blank stare and I didn't know what to make of it. Maybe he agreed with me? Then all of a sudden he scooted a bit closer to me, so that our knees were now touching. My heart raced slightly, not used to physical contact with boys. Then he reached forward, his thumbs grazing my cheeks, as he closed the space between us.

His lips settled on mine and everything seemed to go silent. The noise coming from the house seemed to stop, the sounds of the night were no longer there, and even my accelerated heartbeat made no sound. I closed my eyes and settled into the kiss, as I leaned towards him more
and his grip on my face tightened ever so slightly as he angled his head to deepen the kiss.

We pulled apart and stared at each other. His breath touched my lips as he spoke, "Now I wouldn't do that to someone who I thought was pathetic."

**************************************************************

The rest of the night passed in a blur. Billie and I sat on that lawn for what felt like hours. The kiss had not been forgotten and I found myself replaying it over and over in my head, which I scolded myself for. He had merely been trying to make a point. We didn’t notice the guests starting to leave or Andy calling my name. She had to come out on the lawn to drag me back into the house so we could get our jackets and leave. I was genuinely disappointed that I had to leave my new companion so soon, and I could see the disappointment mirrored in his eyes. I wasn’t really good with good byes so I kept it quick and merely mumbled that it was nice meeting him and I walked away with Andy, leaving Billie Joe Armstrong alone on the lawn.

I instantly regretted the hasty good bye as I walked back into the house. Clearly we had some connection. I didn’t know if it was necessarily romantic or what but that didn’t matter because the opportunity to find out slipped away. Or maybe I was just making up this connection and it was all one sided. I didn’t know the first thing about the guy. Maybe he was so talkative because of his intoxicated state, or maybe this was how he lured girls to bed, by bonding with them. I mean what else could it be? The feelings of rejection flooded back to me as my self esteem shrunk with every step I took. Ben’s last words to me replayed in my mind. If I stay in this relationship for one more moment Meg, I will turn into a boring, pathetic creature like you.” Ben was right, I really had nothing to offer anyone, and why would I for a second actually kid myself into thinking otherwise?

Andy and I made our way to the car. Her lively chatter floated in the air, but I was too distracted to make out what she was saying. I looked at my feet as I walked but felt my body hit Andy.

“Meg! Meg! Someone is calling you!” Andy snapped her fingers in my face, breaking my trance.

“What?” I asked, slowly becoming more aware of my surroundings again. I heard a voice shout my name and it was getting closer. I turned around and saw the green eyed Billie Joe Armstrong jog up to me. I stood frozen on the spot, my brain searching for a reason as to why he was coming towards m e. He stopped jogging a few yards in front of me, and slowed to a walk. His black hair a little tousled now, a look that surprisingly suited him. He held up a paper and gave me his infectious smile. He pressed the paper in my hand, squeezing it gently as he walked away.

I unfolded the paper and realized there was writing on it:

I know you don't need any favors, but maybe you can grant me one instead by calling me some time.

-BJ

At the bottom of his note was a telephone number.

My face broke into a wide grin as I watched his retreating figure. I turned to Andy who gave me a dumb founded look. I got into the car, with my face still smiling and the note wrapped tightly in my hand. For the first time since the break up those feelings of uselessness and rejection were the furthest thing from my mind and I had Billie Joe Armstrong to thank for that.