You're My Cure

Vic's P.O.V.

I had nothing to be sad about, I had everything in my life that could possibly make me happy. First, I had an amazing career. I wasn't even done with College that I already had a great reputation all over the country. People loved me art, saying that it was fresh, new and beautiful. I made a lot of money out of my different painting and drawings. I even sent one of my pieces all the way to Canada once, it made very proud knowing that people also noticed me in other countries than mine. Now that I was done with College, things were still going for the best. In fact, they were going full swing. I now had my own gallery where people from all around the world could come take a look at my work and buy something if they felt like it. It was a dream coming true, but it wasn't enough to make me happy.

Second of all, I had the most perfect boyfriend. His name was Alex and he was 24, making him a year younger than me. We've been together for a little over three years now. When I first saw him, it was love at first sight. One day, Alex came into my gallery and bought one of my most expensive paintings. As he paid for it, he gave me his phone number, asking me to text him whenever I was free. I texted him on the exact same day and we met in some cute park and it was perfect. We've got attached to each other pretty quickly because we were perfect for each other. He made me feel incredible things that I last felt back when I was with my previous boyfriend, Kellin. Alex was an incredible man who was always supportive of my work and I was lucky to have him in my life, but it wasn't enough to make me happy.

Finally, I had amazing friends. They were all extraordinary and always there for me. They were all so different, yet so similar. I met them all during my College years since we were all studying Art. Most of them didn't get as much success as I did but they weren't jealous. They were just very happy for me, they just wanted what was best for me. They were all amazing human beings and I loved every single one of them unconditionnaly. They were like a second family to me, people I knew that I could always count on. It still wasn't enough to make me happy. I had everything to have an happy life, but I wasn't. I could have anything in the world and it wouldn't make me happy. Because Mike was gone and he was never coming back.

Mike was not only my brother, he was also my best friend, another part of me. He was one year younger than me, yet people always believed that he was the older brother. Mike was the most generous, talented and smart guy that I ever had the chance to meet. He was always there for everybody, putting their happiness before his. Mike was always there for me, he was never judging me and was always very supportive. He was the first one I told that I was gay because I trusted him with everything that I had in me. He helped me a lot, making me realize that it was okay to love boys, that love was love no matter the person you were with. Mike always had the perfect words to make me feel better. I missed his words more than anything else.

Mike had so many dreams. He dreamed of touring all over the world in a famous band as their drummer. Mike was an awesome drummer and I was the first one to believe that he would go far. I was his biggest fan, I was proud of everything that Mike did. That was the best thing about our relationship: we were very closed from each other, never arguing. When he was still in high school, Mike was in that small band and I would go to every single one shows that they gave. I wanted to be there for Mike, I wanted to watch him getting closer from seeing his dreams come true. He deserved nothing less than the most amazing and beautiful things in the world. I just wanted him to be happy and have the life that he always dreamed of.

But he didn't get that chance. When my mother called me that night, I was at this fancy restaurant with Alex. What started like one of the best nights of my life turned into the worst night that I would ever live. I couldn't believe my mother's words. I couldn't believe that my amazing and dearest brother was dead. He actually hung himself in the garage and was found lifeless by my mother a few hours later. My whole world collapsed. I couldn't imagine a life without Mike and his contagious smile. i should have notice that this smile was hiding pain and misery. As his brothers, I should have seen that he wasn't okay. It was now too late, he was gone forever. My other half was gone forever, back with the angels.

Alex and I came home that night and my first instinct was to drink as much alcohol as possible. Alex tried to stop me but it was no used. I needed the poison, I didn't want to feel a thing anymore. I drank until I passed out on the couch. I woke up the next day in our bed and the pain was even worst. Mike was still dead, he still wasn't going to come back. He wasn't going to become a drummer in an international bed. He wasn't going to call me everyday anymore. I wasn't going to speak to him anymore and it was the most terrible thing in the entire world. My baby brother was dead and it was unfair.

Things got worst after Alex and I attended his funerals. When I saw Mike in this coffin, my heart broke all and over again. He wasn't supposed to be in this box made out of wood. He was supposed to be alive and live until he would be very old. We were supposed to grow old together, we were supposed to always be there for each other. It was a nightmare that was never going to end and I would never be able to wake up from it. When we came back home after the funerals, I drank again. And that what was I did every single night since then.

Alex tried to make me stop but it was no use. I was now addicted, I needed the poison. I needed the alcohol in my veins because it helped me forget for a few hours. I was afraid that Alex would break up of me because of that, but he didn't. He stayed with me, always doing his best to make me feel better, so did my friends. There was only one thing that could make me feel better other than alcohol: painting. I would spend my day painting in my gallery. My art used to be so happy and fresh. It was now all dark and depressive. I didn't feel like doing anything joyous since I didn't feel that way. I always painted things that matched my mood. The public still loved it since it was made by me and that I had a good name in the art industry.

Alex always encouraged me to go some group support for people dealing with alcoholism, but I refused. I didn't want to be helped, I didn't want to stop drinking. Gladly, Alex didn't go against my wishes even though he would bring back the subject almost every single week. He just wanted what was best for me like the perfect boyfriend that he was. But one night, I did something terrible. I was pretty drunk and Alex tried to make me stop drinking. For the first time ever, he took the bottle of vodka away for me, saying that I had enough for tonight. I got pretty mad and asked him to give it back. When he didn't, I actually punched him in the face. I hit the person that loved me the most. When I woke up the next morning, I realized that I had a problem and that it had to stop.

I didn't have any other choice. Not only did I realized that it was going to far, Alex also gave me an ultimatum. He said that he loved me more than anything but that this whole situation was getting too difficult for him. He said that if I would need to go to support group if I wanted him to stay with me. I could not lose him, so I decided to go. I would get the help that I needed, I had to get back on track once and for all, for Alex, for me and for Mike. I knew that he wouldn't proud of me, and I didn't want that. I wanted him to be proud of his big brother. That's why I found myself sitting in this room tonight for my first group meeting. I wasn't afraid to be judged in here. I didn't know anybody in the room. Plus, we all had the same problem.

Then, someone that I haven't seen in years appeared in the room. It was the first time that I was seeing Kellin Quinn in five years. The last time that I saw him was when I broke up with him. He was still the same, his hair just a little bit longer than they used to be. He was also very different, he wasn't the happy and bubbly guy that he used to me. He looked tired, sick and sad. I didn't expect to see him at this meeting. I didn't know that he was also struggling with alcoholism. How could I have known since I never tried to contact him in years? He took a seat and didn't stop looking at me. I didn't know why but seeing him made me feel bad so I did everything to avoid his gaze.

The meeting started and we were asked to introduce ourselves. Everyone went with their stories wich were all very different. We all had different problems and we were there to get help. Kellin was the last one to speak. I was still avoiding his gaze until he started to explain his problem. From that moment, I could not stop looking at him. His words actually cut like knives. It was our breakup that caused him that pain. He thought that we were forever and I crushed all his hopes and dreams by dumping him that night. Even though it was five years ago, he still hadn't moved on. It affected him so much that his whole life was nothing but a mess now. He was still in love with me and I was pretty sure that seeing me again tonight wasn't going to help his case. I felt guilty. I should have at least stayed in touch with him, I could have helped him...but I didn't.

When the meeting ended, Kellin was the first to stand up and to rush out of the room. I felt the urge to talk to him, to apologize. I didn't know if he would listen to me or forgive me, but I had to because I was filled with guilt in sadness. It would be a lie if I said that I didn't miss him. Even though I was with Alex now, I never forgot about Kellin. He was my first love, my first everything. I was madly in love with him, but the passion started to fade away on my side. Even though I broke up with him, I should have keep him in my life. I didn't have to push him away like I did. I shared five years of my life with him, yet I acted like nothing ever happened between us. I should have picked up the phone when he tried to call me after the breakup. I felt so reponsible of his current state and it killed me.

I left the room once everybody else was out of it. I hoped that Kellin would still be there, that I could talk to him. Fortunately for me he was, sitting in the stairs outside of the building. I sat beside him and it brought back so many memories. Though, he wasn't the guy that I used to know. The conversation didn't go well. I knew that Kellin was hurt, but not that much. Kellin was broken, because of me. He wasn't going to College anymore, he didn't have friends anymore and he was still living with his mother. I caused him so much pain. Some would say that it wasn't my fault but Kellin's since he wasn't able to move on, but I wouldn't agree with them. I made Kellin feel like he wasn't good enough.

Kellin didn't believe me when I said that I was sorry and I couldn't blame him. He didn't believe that he deserved what was best in life and that I wasn't worth his tears. I just wanted to hug him and tell him that he would be okay, but I couldn't. From now on, I didn't have only one goal by coming to those weekly meetings, but two. I was going to get rid of my alcohol addiction and I was also going to make Kellin forgive me. I needed to help him and make him realize that he was worth. I've been absent for five years and I wasn't going to stay away any longer when I knew that he needed me.