You're My Cure

Kellin's P.O.V.

I was able to go to the next group session since I was released from the hospital a few days after Vic visited me. The doctors were still very worried that I would try to kill myself again, but they had nothing to worry about. I realized that I didn't really want to die because if I did, I would never have had the chance to see the blue sky and the light again. I didn't to end my life in darkness and storm. I wanted to get better, I wanted to do something good with my life before ending it up. I had to find a purpose, and that purpose was to smile again. It wouldn't be easy, but I would have my mother to support me, the support group therapist Rian...and Vic. Even though it wouldn't always be easy, I wanted to count him as friend, I was starving to have a friend to talk to and Vic was offering me what I needed.

I was first shocked when Vic visited me at the hospital, but it went better than I actually thought it would. I didn't feel like crying or anything, I just enjoyed being around him. Sure, I wished he was still mine...but I was still glad that he was there and that he offered me his help. He sure felt guilty about everything that happened to me and that also made me feel guilty. Vic was an amazing young man and I didn't want him to be filled with regrets and guilt, he didn't deserve that. I messed up my own life by myself because certain events evolving Vic happened, Vic wasn't the one to blame...even though I spent years putting the blame on him. I guessed that little vacation in the hospital made me change my mind about multiple things. It made me realize that life must go on and that I had to fight once and for all.

Vic gave me his number after he visited me at the hospital. I spent a few days wondering if I should actually call him or not. I didn't want him to believe that I was obssessed with him or something. Well I kind of was, but I wanted this obssession to stop. I also didn't want him to feel forced to talk to me, maybe he just gave me his phone number to be nice when he didn't really want to be bothered by my problems and stuff. Still, I decided to call him one night but I got no reply. I left a message on his voicemail and he never returned my call. That was weird because I remembered Vic always returning calls as soon as possible. He didn't enjoy making people wait and he always felt bad when he did. So this situation wasn't normal. Either something was wrong with me or he really didn't want to talk to me. I opted for the second scenario because well...I was me and he was him.

When I got to the support group room, Vic was already there. I sat next to him and saw how horrible he looked. He looked so tired and exhausted. He looked so sad and vulnerable. Maybe something bad happened to him during the week explaining why he didn't call me back. Maybe it was bad. Vic didn't look like his happy usual self. He looked dead, like I did for so long. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I didn't want to bother him. I figured he would talk to me if he wanted to. Instead, I just gave his knee a comforting squeeze. He looked at me and gave me a small fake smile. I just wanted to hug him and tell him that it would get better, an advice that even myself had issues believing in.

''Welcome back group, I hoped you all had an amazing week. As usual, I'm going to ask you to raise your hand if you drank any quantity of alcohol this week,'' Rian said.

The ones who did raised their hands, and I wasn't one of those and I was proud. It has been so hard to resist, but I did. My mother helped me a lot by spending time with me or I would just go out for a run when I felt like drinking an entire bottle of wine. Though, Vic raised his hand. I should have had expected it by how sad he looked. He seemed ashamed when he really had nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody in the room had issues, he wasn't alone.

''Well, half of you did. We're doing progress guys and I'm all so proud of you. Even those of you who drank, I'm very proud of you because you are not afraid to show that you still need help. You're all very courageous and one day, no hands will be raised,'' Rian said. ''So, for today's activity, I'm going to ask you to pair up with another men. You will discuss about the best thing and the worst thing that happened to you this week and how you reacted to those events. You can pick your own partners since most of you seemed to have made friends already and it is always easier to talk to a friend. I'm going to give you 30 minutes to do this activity before we do something else.''

Vic looked at me, asking me silently if he could be his partner. I nodded and we stood from our chairs and headed to a more silent place in the room. I didn't know if Vic was going to tell me what was wrong with him, but I wished he would. If we were going to be friends again, it would be a good start. I've known him for years, he was anything but a stranger to me. We sat on the ground facing each other. I could see Vic felt like crying so I grabbed his hand in mine, giving him a little comfort.

''I will go first okay?'' I asked. Vic nodded as an answer.

''Ok, so the best thing that happened to me this week is probably when my mother and I baked some cookies together. It sounds childish but I really had fun. I was genuinely happy, not even thinking about my problems. I just felt peaceful and happy spending time with my mother. I'm thankful that she's always there for me and never giving up on me. I know I must be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she is always there and I know that she will never leave. So that is it for the best moment of my week. Want to tell me what was yours?'' I explained.

''I'm glad that you had a nice time with your mother, I always loved her,'' Vic replied weakly. ''As for me, my week's been awful so the only good moment I can think of is when I got drunk and forgot about my problems. About that...I'm sorry that I didn't call you back... It was selfish from me but I didn't want to talk to anybody.''

''You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to,'' I assured him as I squeezed his hand a little tighter.

''No, I want to. I need to talk to someone, because the pain is getting way too heavy to carry on my shoulders. I need to let it all out, so will you please listen to me? As a friend and not as a stanger...I really could use a friend right now,'' Vic said.

I nodded and wondered what could have happened to put him in such a sad and vulnerable state. I had no idea what it could be, but I was happy that Vic trusted me enough to tell me. Maybe our growing new friendship would be the cure to our problems. They always said that friends are like family and that they can always make your life a whole lot better. Maybe Vic was the person I needed to that, and maybe I was the one he needed to do that as well.

''So eum...when I came back home after visiting you at the hospital last week...I-I caught Alex cheating on me with his ex...,So I broke up with him and yeah...Now I'm feeling miserable and like a big piece of shit,'' Vic explained sadly.

''You're kidding me right? How could he cheat on someone like you?'' I wondered.

I was trying to hide my anger. How could someone cheat on someone as perfect as Vic? I would have never done something as horrible as that. You don't go cheat on someone when you love them. Even though Vic broke my heart, I didn't feel any satisfaction knowing that he was now heart broken. He didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve to get cheated on by the boy he was in love with. That was unfair, like always was unfair.

''I guess I was not good enough, I was nothing compared to his ex, Jack. He was so perfect while I was...me,'' he answered.

''Don't you dare saying that you're not good enough Victor Vincent Fuentes. You are good enough and anybody would kill to be your friend or your boyfriend. You're an amazing boy who is always there for other people. You're smart, kind, funny, generous, beautiful from the inside and the outside...seriously you have nothing to envy that Jack guy. You deserve what's best in life and that Alex guy was clearly too blind to realize that you were a diamond and that he would never find someone better than you. It's his loss, and you deserve someone who will never do something horrible like that to you,'' I replied. I wanted to say someone like me, but that wasn't appropriate.

A few weeks earlier, I would not have hesitated in saying that he should be with someone like me, but I changed. Sure, I wanted to be with Vic, I always wanted to...but I realized that my life should not only be about him. I wanted him to be part of my life, but I would take him the way he wanted to. For now, he needed a friend. He needed someone to tell him that things would be okay, that he would be okay. I took him into my arms and hugged tightly. How I missed his hugs, nobody could hug like Vic Fuentes.

''Do you really mean all the things t-that you said, Kels?'' Vic whispered into my ears. I loved that he used my nickname, he actually was the only one to call me this way and it felt so good to hear it again.

''I meant all the things that I just said. You're an awesome boy Vic, don't doubt it,'' I replied.

''You're an awesome boy too Kellin. Thank you, it means a lot,'' Vic added.

''You're welcome Vic. That is what friends are there for, right?'' I asked.

''Yes, of course,'' Vic answered happily.

We spent the rest of the 30 minutes allowed to do the activity to talk about anything. It was like I was sent back in the past, like nothing had changed except that we weren't kissing and cuddling. It still was enough for him. I craved so many years to have my Vic back, and I finally had him. I wasn't going to let him go, I wasn't going to lose him twice. I was going to do my best to be a good friend to him, to be there for him when he would need me. And I knew that he would do the same. When we were together, Vic and I always thought about the other one's happiness before our own. We were like that, people of heart and kindness. We had problems and we needed a cure to heal them. And maybe, just maybe...finding our way back together was the cure we were both searching for.