Dear Olive

I heard the words that Olive spoke to me, but I didn't understand them. I knew that she was speaking English and that her words formed a proper sentence. I knew what each word meant individually.

It was like string theory. My teacher could break the idea of it down to it's most basic form and it still sounded like rocket science. I knew what he was saying, but what he was saying didn't have any weight in the real world.

Olive ignored my look of complete incomprehension. She continued to cry, but she did it a little more quietly. I wondered if she ran out of tears or if she was going to pull herself together?

I queationed if I wanted to wait for Olive to let me in on what eating her alive. My demons had already had their fair taste of flesh. Emotions like anger, disappointment, and love had already hollowed me out to that point that I felt like a shell.

I knew it wasn't right to let Olive feel the way that I did, but at the same time I wasn't sure that she actually could. She had to be putting on a show, but for who's benefit? What she hope to gain from a dramatic display on my front lawn?

Olive was above drama and unseemly behavior. She was a poised young adult who would be entering her junior year of high school. Smooth proper dresses and demure pink lips were her standard uniform as far as I knew.

So what the hell was she doing with one shoe missing and her makeup ruined? Why was spouting off nonsense and then giving me the silent treatment? I knew that I shouldn't care.

Knowing something doesn't always explain it though. Like string theory, I could not understand or explain Olive. Something made me want to give her a chance to say more
.
The words she'd already screamed at me ran back through my head. She told me I wasn't supposed to change. How could she say that when she obviously chosen to be reborn?

"You keep asking, 'how dare I?' How dare you be such a hypocrite, Olive? You did this first. Don't think for a second that this isn't your fault. I didn't want this for us or myself. I felt like I didn't have any other choice. Do you have any idea how lonely I was?"

"Of course I did! Do think that I'm blind,deaf,and dumb? I knew about your grandmother. I got your letter, Charlie."

"So, you lied and that you didn't read it, but you actually just ignored it?"

"I lied because I wanted you to hate me. I wanted you to hate everything about what I'd become. I thought that it would make you never want to be like me."

"What are you talking about? You wanted to change, Olive. You were happy to be your new and improved self. "

" No, Charlie. I wasn't happy. I didn't want this."