Chasing Cars

A week later, I had my first doctor’s appointment. They told me I was four months pregnant. This came as a huge shock because I thought I was two at most. I couldn’t believe I’d actually gone four months without figuring it out. I was trying so hard to ignore it that I let four months of my life pass while carrying a parasitic creature in my stomach. But I guess it made sense because about four months prior is when Chris was home from baseball, and we threw a small party and got kind of crazy and drunk and may or may not have possibly forgotten to use a condom. My guess is that we actually did forget. But I was so positive that we had that we both seemed to have conjured a memory. But the doubt was still there. And the doubt is what led me to the final conclusion that we did, in fact, forget.

I tried to keep ignoring it. It wasn’t going to be easy, what with the fact that I was required to go to the doctor every month, my clothes weren’t fitting correctly, and I was growing. Finally, I got cornered at work about it. I was going through a new shipment with the price marker when the guys approached me.

“What the hell is your problem?” Todd asked me. I looked up, confused.

“What?” I asked.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He motioned to my stomach. I was wearing a regular t-shirt that was getting kind of tight around my stomach, and I had the band on underneath it. I wasn’t huge or anything. Just chubby. But the chub was starting to round out, and that’s what tipped them off.

“I—I’m procrastinating,” I explained.

“So you didn’t think we’d notice?” he asked.

“I figured you would eventually.”

“Does Chris know?”

“Not yet.” Their eyebrows all rose in disbelief. Even Albert, who already knew.

“You haven’t told your boyfriend?” Doug asked. I sighed.

“It’s complicated, alright?”

“Try me.”

“I’m not sure if I’m keeping it yet.”

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

“I’m talking about adoption, genius. I haven’t decided yet. So in the meantime, I’m pretending it doesn’t exist. So will you shut up and leave me alone?”

“Chris is going to be royally pissed when he finds out you didn’t tell him.”

“I’m prepared for it.”

“When does he get home?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Well, duh.”

“It was nice knowing you.” I flipped him off.

The next day I was really nervous about Chris getting home. I ran out all possible reactions in my head. I knew it might end badly, so I decided to try and lessen that blow for him. I went and bought myself something sexy to wear, hoping to distract him long enough to get his pants down. Then I was hoping the lightened mood would ease the freakout.

Chris called when he was up the street. So I hurried to put the sexy outfit on. It was just a red lacy thong with a bra/camisole thing. My boobs were definitely larger, and I was hoping to use that to my advantage. The bra pushed them up, and it was loose the rest of the way down to my hips. It covered my stomach, and I was hoping he’d let me keep it on before he noticed. I also pulled the curtains closed to diffuse the light.

I was in the bedroom when I heard the front door open and close. My heartbeat sped up, and the baby in my stomach reacted by punching me from the inside. I ignored it. I had the opportunity to find out what it was, but I chose not to.

“Babe?” I heard Chris call.

“I’m in here!” I yelled back. He appeared in the bedroom doorway. He looked me over for a moment, and I was very nervous that my boobs were going to give it away.

“One of these days, you’re going to give me a heart attack,” he said. I smiled and crooked my finger at him. He obliged and came to the edge of the bed. Instead of saying anything else, he reached out and took my ankle in his hand. He pulled me onto my back and closer to him.

He let me keep the top on.