Chasing Cars

Chris stayed with me all night. And when it was time for me to go home, he gave me a ride and forced me to sit in bed while he brought in all the gifts I’d gotten. Most of them were from his team and crew. But Olivia, Josh, and Vic stopped by to see me in person. So it did take him a few minutes to get everything into the apartment. I took a nap while I waited for him to return.

When I woke up, he had moved the TV into the bedroom, brought me my laptop and some books, and apparently made some food to put in the fridge, so I just had to microwave it to eat. I wanted him to stay with me, but he said it was probably not a good idea.

He did agree to stay the night, though. We didn’t have sex since I was forbidden from it. But once we got cuddled in bed together, we did kiss. And then, somewhere along the line, that kiss ended with my hand down his pants. But that was pretty mild for us. And it still hurt when he left the next morning.

My first day on bed rest was awful. I woke up after Chris left and went right to the kitchen to get breakfast. I only got up to go back and forth to the kitchen and bathroom. I sat in a pair of sweatpants and watched TV all day.

I hated not being able to work. I was bored out of my mind. Chris came by later once he’d settled everything with his coaches and agents or whoever they were. He made me dinner, and he even did my laundry even though I told him it was weird. It was sweet of him anyway. But he didn’t stay the night again, leaving me horribly disappointed.

And that’s how the entire next week went. I didn’t leave the house until the end of the second week when we had the hearing against Trent. Chris came over to help me get ready.

I was in the bathroom, running a brush through my hair. My hands were shaking as I tried to make myself look halfway decent. Even with the bruises. Chris spotted me through the open door and came to take my hands. He pulled the brush out of my hand and set it down on the counter.

“You’re shaking,” he stated.

“I don’t want to do this.” His hand came up to touch my cheek. He brushed his fingers over the healing skin.

“You have to. For our baby at the very least.” I sighed.

“I know. I just don’t want to see him.”

“I know you don’t. But if you do this today, you won’t ever have to see him again.”

“What if his wife is there?”

“Does it matter?”

“She’ll know.”

“I think she already does.”

“What if something goes wrong and they let him go?”

“Multiple witnesses saw him brutally attack a pregnant woman. They’re not letting him go.” My eyes welled with tears again, so I covered my face with my hands. But Chris knew anyway. He always did. He pulled me into a hug and let me bury my face in his chest. “I hate him,” he said. “I hate him for doing this to you.” I nodded and sniffed.

“Me too.” He pulled away and held my face in his hands.

“Then you have to do this.” He let me go and put his hands on my belly. “For this one. Okay?”

“I will.”

“I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“I know.” He kissed me quickly and then turned me back toward the mirror to help finish up my hair.

“There. You look beautiful.” I stuck my glasses back on.

“Even with the nerd glasses?”

“Especially with the nerd glasses. You’re like a hot librarian.” I laughed, and he kissed the back of my head. He looked better than I did in his nice shirt and tie. Like he had his life together. I looked like a frumpy librarian, maybe. “C’mon,” he said, taking my hand so he could lead me out.

I was nervous the whole ride. I didn’t want to see Trent again, even before he attacked me. I didn’t want to have to explain to everyone how I’d slept with him when he was married. How I knew and did it anyway. Chris said it was grooming, and I shouldn’t be ashamed that I was taken advantage of. But it didn’t feel like that. It was something that weighed on my conscious regardless. All I wanted to do was move past it and live my life with my new family.

When we got there, it took a long time to get settled in. Then we were called into an honest-to-god courtroom, where Trent was sitting not far from me. I used to enjoy his presence. Even looked forward to it. And even though some part of me knew it would never last, I never thought we’d be someplace like this. On opposite sides of a courtroom. That his presence would fill me with terror. But Chris was beside me. His arm was around my shoulder, and I knew he would keep me safe in ways Trent never could. Not just physical safety. But the safety to just be me and love him freely. The baby was the only obstacle between us now. And even that felt less and less like one as time went on.

The hearing was horrible. I had to go up and tell them what happened. The lawyer Chris got for me was sympathetic. I’d already met him a few times, so he understood the truth. But it was still hard to explain it all. Even down to our history together. But I got to explain Chris too. How he’d pulled me out of that dark place and made me realize what it meant to actually love someone and be loved. I didn’t explain how I felt about the baby. No one asked, and I didn’t want to have to explain my doubts. Chris and I were happy together, and that’s all that mattered.

But Trent’s lawyer obviously wanted to play it at a different angle. He accused me of lying about Trent’s lie about his divorce. Made it out like I was resentful that he’d chosen to leave me. He even questioned whether or not the baby was Chris’s. As if Trent and I had continued our affair, and I was only claiming the baby was Chris’s to hurt him. He didn’t outright accuse me of it. But he implied. Planted that tiny seed of rot in everyone’s mind.

Thankfully, they questioned others too. Both Todd and Chris confirmed that I hadn’t seen Trent since we broke up. Todd even pointed out how I’d changed my phone number because he wouldn’t stop calling. And how he’d done everything he could to get Chris and me back together. Of course he wasn’t there when the baby was conceived, but he knew without a doubt the baby was Chris’s, and it was awful for them to try and imply otherwise.

All Chris had to say on that subject is, “I’m 100% certain, as I wasn’t wearing a condom.”

Then the judge got sick of that play and turned us back onto the actual matter. The past was the past. The history didn’t matter since it still led to me being assaulted in the men’s room. And thankfully, there were enough witnesses and actual cameras in the hallway to prove what happened. The police had also taken pictures when I was in the hospital. Of the swelling on my face and the bruising on my neck and belly. Chris had taken pictures when the bruises really set in. When my face was still so purple and tender that he couldn’t even kiss my cheek.

Chris said I expected the worst because I was used to people showing me the worst. But Trent was charged anyway. He would be served jail time, and I would never have to see him again. I sighed when they said it. And Chris wrapped his arm around me again.

I was relieved, but as we were leaving, Sasha made herself known to me. Chris was guiding me into the hallway when she came at me from the side.

“You whore!” she shouted. Chris pushed me back behind him to block me. I didn’t think she was stupid enough to attack me in a courthouse, but I appreciated it anyway. “Is that his baby?” she shrieked, pointing at my stomach. “Is it his?”

“It’s mine,” Chris said.

“I don’t believe you. How the hell would you know anyway? Your slutty girlfriend was sleeping with my husband.” My eyes were getting all teary again.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“It was a long time ago,” Chris pointed out. “And Marley was only eighteen. Barely out of high school. Who do you think the real villain is, huh? An impressionable teenager or a grown man who should have known better?”

“I never meant to hurt you and your family. I’m sorry.” She looked seconds away from tears too.

“Please—just tell me the truth,” she sobbed. “I deserve to know. Is it his baby? Is that my husband’s baby?” My heart broke for her. I hated what I’d done. Even if Chris was right and I’d been manipulated, I still should have known better. I shook my head.

“I haven’t had contact with him in years,” I confirmed. “It’s Chris’s baby.”

“And you’re sure?”

“Positive. It couldn’t possibly be anyone else’s.” She was still sobbing loudly. Enough that Trent’s lawyer came to her side and guided her away.

“Sasha,” he said. “Leave them alone. There’s nothing you can do.” Chris waited for them to be far enough away before turning back to me. I immediately wrapped my arms around him.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry for all this.”

“For what?”

“Just—everything. This whole mess. For being so stupid. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t been so stupid.”

“Marley—You don’t need to apologize for the actions of a grown man. None of this was your fault. Was it a mistake, yes? But again, you were eighteen years old, barely out of high school. Just left your family behind. Just lost your dad. Of course you looked for comfort in someone you thought was wiser than you. He took advantage of that. And that’s on him.”

“I shouldn’t have stayed. Even after I knew.”

“And it doesn’t look like he was going to make it easy for you to leave, babe. Especially since he had you convinced you loved him.” I melted into his arms. “Don’t apologize for him anymore,” he said, rubbing his hand up and down my back. “The only thing that matters now is the choices you make in the future.” I had a feeling he was referring to the baby that was literally between us. My belly pressed up against his hard enough that I knew he could feel it move. He kissed the top of my head again.

“I love you,” I told him. “No matter what happens, I just want you to know that.”

“I do know that. And I love you too.”