Cool for the Summer

I broke apart after a few seconds, looking up at him with a frown on my face.
‘Jack? What… What the heck was that?!’ I took a step back and stared at him, my hand drifting to touch my lips, as though his own touch had burnt me.
‘I… I don’t know.’ He replied, sounding as bewildered as I felt. ‘I… You….’
I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. Deep down, a part of me had enjoyed kissing Jack. It wasn’t the fireworks I’d felt with Henry, but the comfort and happiness of kissing someone close to you. It was a pleasant experience made better by our pre-existing friendship.
I might’ve kissed him again if he wasn’t my best friends brother, and 6 years older than me.
‘Bella?’ He asked, stepping a little closer to me. I looked up into his eyes.
‘Yeah?’
‘Fuck.’ He muttered under his breath. ‘I know… Shit, this is so fucking wrong of me to ask.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Can I kiss you again?’
My eyes opened wider at his question. Jack… wanted to kiss me? Before the rejection could slip out, I nodded.
Almost immediately, he closed the distance between us with a single step, cupped my face with his enormous hands and kissed me. His lips were so… So soft, slightly sticky, and tasted like soda. I kissed him back, moving my arms to wrap them around his neck, pulling myself closer to him.
‘Holy… Shit.’ Jack gasped when we broke apart. ‘What… Was that?’
‘I don’t know.’ I whispered. ‘But… I liked it.’
‘We weren’t supposed to like it!’ He panicked, his words falling over each other. ‘You’re Alex’s little sister… You’re not even legal!’
‘It was a kiss, Jack.’ I tried to rationalise. ‘A tiny kiss.’
‘That both of us enjoyed more than we should’ve!’ He argued hotly.
‘You liked it?’ I raised an eyebrow, letting my lips curve ino a smirk.
He stopped his panicking to look at me, as though I were the stupidest person in the world. ‘Bella, no one could kiss you and not enjoy it.’
A blush spread across my face, turning me my least favourite shade of red. I couldn’t even stammer out a reply.
‘This never happened.’ He told me, after a few moments. ‘This… It never happened, okay, Bella?’
I let the colour fade from my face before replying, hurt and anger replacing what had been brash pleasure. ‘You kissed me, Jack. Own up to it.’ I narrowed my eyes at him.
In truth, I was a lot calmer than I thought I would be. Kissing Jack had felt… So right, it didn’t feel wrong. It was as cliché as cliché did, but it was true! Kissing him felt like the most natural thing in the world and I couldn’t understand how he didn’t feel the same way.
Maybe that was the problem with me – always running into my feelings, always feeling more connected than the other person. It sucked to think about.
‘I can’t own up to kissing you!’ He paced the length of the living area, his hands tugging at his hair. In any other situation, I would’ve laughed at the scene. But right now, I felt a little sad.
‘We help each other.’ I pointed out. ‘Help each other forget that we’re supposed to be in pain.’ I closed my eyes. ‘I still think about Henry, okay? All the time. I dream about him, I think about him, I miss him all of the goddamn time. And maybe being with you makes me feel a little better about it.’ I opened my eyes. ‘I know I make you feel better about Taylor. So let me make you feel better.’
The serious conversation I had tried to initiate was immediately shot down by his childish giggles.
‘That sounded so dirty, I’m sorry, Bella.’ He apologised between laughs. He looked at me with an amused smile, his eyes complacent and hooded with something similar to respect and appreciation. ‘But… You do. You do make me feel better about Taylor.’ He let out a breath. ‘But I can’t… I’m not doing this with you. You’re my best friends younger sister. You tried to kill yourself not even that long ago! I’m not taking advantage of you like this.’
I nodded, slightly stung by his rejection. ‘Okay. I can understand that.’
What else could I say?
‘Thanks, Bella. For not making this awkward.’
‘It’s okay.’ I mumbled. I walked over to my bunk and grabbed my phone, immediately unlocking it to check for messages. There were a couple from high school friends, and one from Alex telling me The Maine were halfway through their set and I needed to hurry up. ‘Listen, I need to go back to the stage.’
‘That’s cool.’ Jack replied breezily, without turning to look at me. ‘Seeya.’
I made a face behind his back at his snub and walked out, tears prickling my eyes once I was on my own. It seemed like no one wanted me, no matter how much I wanted them.
Once in the company of Alex, Rian and Zack, all of whom were tapping their feet to the sound of The Maine, I perked up a little.
‘If you want photos, you should go to the front of the stage.’ Alex told me. ‘Hidden in the wings, obviously.’
‘Obviously.’ I repeated. I passed my phone back and forth between my hands. ‘I’ll do it from here.’
He nodded, enjoying the music, as I walked over to the edge of the stage. The Maine were a good band and occasionally surprised the guys on tour – I could see excitement in Alex’s eyes.

‘We have to get Mark here sometime.’ Alex commented. He was a little drunk, as were the rest of the guys. As we crashed back into the bus, we were immediately silent as we saw a red headed girl spring apart from Jack.
‘What the fuck!?’ Jack leapt up, his face as red as her hair. ‘What are you guys doing back here so soon?’
‘The others had to go.’ Alex walked straight past him. ‘You know the rules, Jack.’
‘Alex…’ Jack looked equally as pissed off. He turned his attention back to the girl who wore a grudging expression on her face. ‘Bree, I’ll see you later.’
‘You have my number.’ She replied coyly, her expression as smug as the cat that had gotten the cream. She glided past us, fluffing her hair as she did.
‘You can’t bring girls on the bus, Jack.’ Zack reminded him, his face as stony as Alex’s. ‘Not with Bella here.’
‘He can do what he wants.’ I shrugged. ‘It doesn’t bother me.’
Jack threw me a withering glare. I shrugged again, my shoulders aching from the movement.
‘If you want to fuck around, you fuck around in a hotel room. You don’t do it in the same place my sister stays. Got it?’
‘Whatever. I’m out.’ Jack threw his hands up in surrender and stormed out.
There were a few minutes of silence before the rest of us grouped up on the couch. ‘You didn’t have to yell at him, Alex.’ I said quietly.
‘It was a rule we put down when mom told me you were coming. Matt implemented it.’ He replied.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little. ‘You’re drunk. That explains it.’
‘Hey!’ He fought my accusation off. ‘I’m not drunk!’
‘Drunk off of life.’ I corrected for him.
‘That’s right.’ He agreed, his face settling into a goofy smile. ‘I’m glad you’re here, Bella. It’s like when we were kids.’
I nodded, my own smile matching his. ‘I’m glad I’m here.’
‘We should do something tonight.’
I clamped my lips together to keep myself from laughing and shook my head determinedly. ‘No, Alex. You need to sober up.’
‘But Beeeelllaaaa!’ He whined, his face dropping into a look of true despair.
‘Stop it.’ I laughed. ‘You need to sleep.’
‘It’s like touring with mom.’ He complained. ‘No girls, and a bedtime.’ He wrestled away from me and stood up, wavering slightly. I caught him before he could fall. ‘I’m going out.’
‘Alex…’
‘Come with!’ He grabbed my hand. ‘Rock and roll, lil sis!’