Kendall
Out
Mom: *blinks a couple times at me* I could ask you the same thing, Ken *pauses for a second* Is there something you want to tell me about you and…Tommy? *walks over closer but cautiously*
Me: *I laugh nervously* What? OH, you mean that kiss? It’s just something the Aussie’s do…when saying…“bye”
Mom: *stares at me & folds her arms* Oh really?
Kevin: *overhearing everything & he tip-toes up the stairs*
Mom: Kendall, are you two…more than friends?
Me: Mom, can we not talk about this…now…or ever *I say the last part quietly*
Mom: *laughs in shock* Sweetie, you just kissed a boy. I just saw you do it
Me: He’s not just a boy
Mom: Whadya mean?
Me: He’s my boy—I mean—he’s my…boyfriend
Mom: *her eyes go wide* He’s gay—wait are YOU gay?
Me: Oh yeah, it’s this new thing everyone’s trying out *I give her a sarcastic look*
Mom: So you’re gay?
Me: If that’s what you want to call it then YES mom, I’m gay! *I sigh* I’m sick of hiding it
Mom: *shakes her head* And I let him sleep in your ROOM last night—were you two taking advantage of me?
Me: No, never. We just enjoy each others company, like you and Rick—
Mom: Do not compare me and Rick…to you and—that friend of yours
Me: He has a name ya know? You two seemed to get along too? I don’t know why now he’s any different to you just cause he’s gay—like me?
Mom: And how are you gay now; since when?
Me: *I just stare at her blankly*
Mom: *puts her hand to her forehead* I never thought in a million years that you could be…that
Me: “That,” isn’t so bad, mom. I actually feel more like myself lately
Mom: And that’s gay? *stares at me*
Me: SURE. But gay doesn’t define me. I’m still the same Kendall. Nothing else has changed
Mom: Honey, I just saw you kiss a boy
Me: Aaand?
Mom: AND, if you were in your right mind you’d know you don’t like boys. You like GIRLS. It’s always been that way
Me: Mom. Sorry…but no; just no. Maybe in YOUR world it’s that way, but for me I know who I am now…and I feel good about it. Why do you have to make me feel bad about this?
Mom: *inhales deeply* I need a minute or—five *walks away into the T.V. room*
Does she hate me? Did I do something wrong? Why is she acting this way?
Kevin walks down the stairs cautiously towards me.
Me: She hates me *I shake my head*
Kev: She doesn’t hate you. It’s just going to take her some time to get used to this… ‘new’ you *puts his hand on my shoulder*
Me: Psh, like hell that’ll happen *I push past him & walk upstairs to my room*
Later that night, I play my guitar to relieve some stress. But it still doesn’t help my frustration towards my Mom. I sigh & continue to find the chords on my guitar to make a good song, but still nothing comes to mind. Maybe just a nice long nap will help.
Now it’s finally Monday: After all the drama from the long weekend; I’ve become mentally exhausted from the whole ordeal. My mom still doesn’t know what to say or do around me—and I’m second-guessing everything; like, maybe how I shouldn’t have “chosen” to be gay— did I have a choice? Or was it my “fault?” Why am I blaming myself? I shouldn’t have to apologize for being who I AM.
Me: *I laugh nervously* What? OH, you mean that kiss? It’s just something the Aussie’s do…when saying…“bye”
Mom: *stares at me & folds her arms* Oh really?
Kevin: *overhearing everything & he tip-toes up the stairs*
Mom: Kendall, are you two…more than friends?
Me: Mom, can we not talk about this…now…or ever *I say the last part quietly*
Mom: *laughs in shock* Sweetie, you just kissed a boy. I just saw you do it
Me: He’s not just a boy
Mom: Whadya mean?
Me: He’s my boy—I mean—he’s my…boyfriend
Mom: *her eyes go wide* He’s gay—wait are YOU gay?
Me: Oh yeah, it’s this new thing everyone’s trying out *I give her a sarcastic look*
Mom: So you’re gay?
Me: If that’s what you want to call it then YES mom, I’m gay! *I sigh* I’m sick of hiding it
Mom: *shakes her head* And I let him sleep in your ROOM last night—were you two taking advantage of me?
Me: No, never. We just enjoy each others company, like you and Rick—
Mom: Do not compare me and Rick…to you and—that friend of yours
Me: He has a name ya know? You two seemed to get along too? I don’t know why now he’s any different to you just cause he’s gay—like me?
Mom: And how are you gay now; since when?
Me: *I just stare at her blankly*
Mom: *puts her hand to her forehead* I never thought in a million years that you could be…that
Me: “That,” isn’t so bad, mom. I actually feel more like myself lately
Mom: And that’s gay? *stares at me*
Me: SURE. But gay doesn’t define me. I’m still the same Kendall. Nothing else has changed
Mom: Honey, I just saw you kiss a boy
Me: Aaand?
Mom: AND, if you were in your right mind you’d know you don’t like boys. You like GIRLS. It’s always been that way
Me: Mom. Sorry…but no; just no. Maybe in YOUR world it’s that way, but for me I know who I am now…and I feel good about it. Why do you have to make me feel bad about this?
Mom: *inhales deeply* I need a minute or—five *walks away into the T.V. room*
Does she hate me? Did I do something wrong? Why is she acting this way?
Kevin walks down the stairs cautiously towards me.
Me: She hates me *I shake my head*
Kev: She doesn’t hate you. It’s just going to take her some time to get used to this… ‘new’ you *puts his hand on my shoulder*
Me: Psh, like hell that’ll happen *I push past him & walk upstairs to my room*
Later that night, I play my guitar to relieve some stress. But it still doesn’t help my frustration towards my Mom. I sigh & continue to find the chords on my guitar to make a good song, but still nothing comes to mind. Maybe just a nice long nap will help.
Now it’s finally Monday: After all the drama from the long weekend; I’ve become mentally exhausted from the whole ordeal. My mom still doesn’t know what to say or do around me—and I’m second-guessing everything; like, maybe how I shouldn’t have “chosen” to be gay— did I have a choice? Or was it my “fault?” Why am I blaming myself? I shouldn’t have to apologize for being who I AM.