Secrets and Temptations

Jimmy… I need help... My finger hovered over the send button as I cradled my phone in my left hand and twirled a razor blade in my right.

”We'll see you tomorrow.” Danny said as he hugged me before walking to his aunt's car. I waved them off and tried to peer into Zack's driveway to see if he was still there; he wasn't.

“Close the door.” I froze at Jack's command. I felt my heart catching in my throat and my lungs stopping as the fear consumed me. I never told them that it would be better if they had stayed. I never told them that out of everything in this world, I fear my step-father the most when he had alcohol in his system. “CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!” He bellowed as he slammed down his- I'm guessing- glass of whiskey on the glass surface of the side table.

“Yes, I'm sorry.” My voice clawed its way out of my throat as my body began shaking. I closed the door and turned slowly towards the stairs. “I'm going to go to bed now.” I walked by him and he grabbed my wrist before I could make it to the stairs and my safe haven.

“I didn't say you can leave.” He growled and I felt the tears behind my eyes.

Hey, sorry for kind of pushing you guys out. I sent the re-written text to the drummer before I felt the bite of the metal against my pale flesh.

”Come on! I'll teach you to disobey my rules and invite people over without my permission.” He growled as he kicked my sides repeatedly before he intertwined my hair with his fingers and made a fist. “They should have raised you better.” Jack ignored my cries of pain as he pulled me up from my knees. “You can't even handle a little discipline.” I wanted to scoff and tell him that this wasn't a 'little discipline,' but I'm still trying to recover from his blows that landed me on my knees.

“I'm sorry.” I sobbed as I scrambled to follow his pace and make the force he was pulling my hair with less painful.

“You always say 'sorry,' but you never mean it!” He screamed as he threw me against the glass table his whiskey was on. I hit my head on the corner and grimaced at the pain. I could smell iron in the air and figured he cut my forehead open… but I wasn't going to take the chance to check. “Look at me!” A yelp escaped my lips as he grabbed my face. “I tried defending you when your mother first told me that you were a whore,” No… not tonight… please. “but she was right. You're only good for one thing.” He growled as he shoved me and pinned my body down.

It's okay, it was getting late anyways… Sin, is everything okay? I had to wipe away the tears that fell on the screen so I could see what he wrote. I wanted to tell him that I was in serious pain. I wanted to tell him the only reason why I wasn't openly sobbing was because my ribs hurt from being a constant punching bag and my throat felt like it was still closing in on itself from when he would choke me. The smell of the blood seeping onto my arm was making me dizzy again.

”Admit it, you like when I fuck you. That's why you always wear revealing clothes and disobey me.” He panted as his fingers dug deeper into my throat. “Such a tight little pussy.” This is why I hated Jack. When he is sober, he is fine, but when he drinks… I loathe this monster.

“Mama.” I cried and clawed at the floor in her direction when I saw her standing in the doorway. His grip tightened. “Mama, save me.” I gasped, but she only turned her back on me… like she does every time.

“Shut up!” He screamed before his fist collided with my temple and darkness surrounded me.

Jimmy… I'm dying. I'm dying in this house and my father didn't want to save me when I told him, my sister ignores me when I tell her, and my mother turns a blind eye. I've made more cuts on my arms, but I still feel disgusting. Jimmy, I just want to open my veins up and bleed everywhere. I reread the text over and over again before deleting the words and writing out that everything was okay.

”Get off, get off.” I whispered as I scrubbed my body 'clean' in the shower.

Around two in the morning I regained consciousness. I woke up completely naked in the living room and in tremendous pain. Every time I moved, my body screamed in protest. I felt my stomach and felt a mix of relief and disgust that he released his seamen on my stomach. After realizing the full extent of what happened, I limped upstairs and jumped into the shower.

The filth of what had happened has been long since scrubbed from my body, but even with my flesh rubbed raw, I still feel filthy. I can feel everything that had happened all over again and felt the tears pouring out. My body was beaten and defiled… but what hurt more was that my mother wouldn't save me...

Join me for a morning walk? I'll buy food after. I smiled at Zack's text and replied that I would be outside soon.



“I'm highly offended by your shirt.” Zacky said as I unzipped my hoodie to get a little more comfortable in the diner.

“I'm slightly offended that this is where we'll be going to eat every time you invite me for a morning walk.” I jested and he shook his head with a grin. “You know, if we make this a habit Gena will think you're cheating.”

“Nah, she's cool with it; plus, I explained that it's just me thanking a friend for running with me.” I don't like his cocky grin.

“It's not like you actually ever run.” I teased when our waitress came back with our drinks (he had ordered a coffee and I ordered a vanilla milk shake).

“At least I didn't wince with every step. Did something happen?” He asked and I just attached my lips to the straw and began drinking my shake. “Let me guess, you tripped and hurt yourself.” I was slightly glad the guys figured out right away that I was a klutz.

“Yeah.” I gave a humorless laugh as I tucked my hair behind my ear.

“You were probably cozy with your friend Danny. Sorry to drag you away.” His tone was off, but I dismissed it as nothing.

“No, they're all at his aunt's place.” I smiled and thanked the server as she brought over his plate of eggs, bacon, and toast and my plate of french toast. “Plus, Danny and I are nothing more than friends; I don't go for younger people.” I admitted while cutting into my food.

“You don't?” I nodded. “Why not?”

“Because I already act older than my age and if I were to date younger than me, I'd feel like I'm just their mother.” I shuddered at the thought before wincing at the pain in my ribs. “Plus, I like the idea of someone that gives off this protected feeling… as much as I love Danny, he doesn't do that.” I smiled before diving into my food.

“So Danny is your...”

“Brother. He will always be my little brother that I will look out for and help in anyway possible. Why the sudden interest in my love life?” I asked and he started choking on his eggs.

“Just want to make sure my running buddy is safe.” He smiled before he furrowed his brows. “Sin, what's this?” He moved my hair to the side and brushed his fingers over my neck.

“N-nothing.” I stammered whilst pulling my hair back in place.

“Did Danny or Dan-”

“NO!” I screamed in response and blushed when the other patrons turned to give me a glare. “Sorry, but no they didn't.”

“Then who did?” He sighed when I shook my head. “Sin, you can tell me. I promise I won't say or do anything uncalled for.” I looked into his deep emerald eyes to search for a lie, but he was telling the truth. He was genuinely concerned for me.

“J-Jack did it.” I whispered as the tears leaked from my eyes. “I pushed you guys out because I heard the door slamming and Jack's voice… that meant he was drinking...” I could feel my body shaking and I'm assuming it was visible to Zack too since he got up and slid into the booth next to me. “He's a good… er okay normally… but when he drinks...” I bit my lip to stop the tears, but caved when I felt his arms engulfing me.

“What happened?” His tone was scary. It was a mix of murderous intent and a strain to try to keep calm. I grabbed his shirt and crumpled it in my fist as the images flooded my mind.

“I c-can't.” I whispered through the tears. “P-please… please don't make me.” I begged and I felt him release a sigh and nod his head.

I know he isn't happy that I refused to tell him, but I actually like hanging out with Zack and the others- not Gena and her girls- and I don't want to lose them. Once they know everything… it'll be over. They'll look at me either like Cosmos and the others, with pity, or like my mother does, forced ignorance. I can't have them knowing. I can't allow anyone else to know either… not if I actually want to have a normal, happy life one day.

“You'll tell me when you're ready, right?” I nodded, even though I knew I would never tell him. What Jack does to me… I won't tell anyone ever again because no one will save me… not even my own mother.



“Sin, are you joining us for breakfast?” My mother asked as I walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water before heading to work.

I looked at the table to see Jack sitting at the head seat with the newspaper open and a plate of eggs and bacon with toast in front of him. I would bet anything his coffee is being hidden by his paper. Dan was sitting to the left of him scarfing down his food in between getting more toast and taking a sip of his orange juice. I noticed a place set for me, but nothing was on a plate or in a cup. My mom was sitting opposite Jack and serving herself some food while trying to get me to join them. I scoffed at the image and shook my head.

“No thank you, I don't feel like playing the 'let's pretend we're a happy family' game today.” I said and all eyes were on me.

“Excuse me?” Jack said and I just shook my head before attempting to walk out of the house. “Answer me when I speak!” He yelled as he grabbed my arm with a tight grip.

“LET GO!” I screamed before I felt someone pulling me from Jack's vice grip.

“Don't touch her.” Zack growled as he pulled me to his chest and began walking to the door.

“Mr. Baker, I don't know what my step-daughter has told you, but I must warn you; she lies about everything.” Jack's voice was hard and threatening.

“I'll take my chances in believing her.” I looked up to see Zacky sneering at the old man. He looked down briefly and softened his features before kissing my forehead. “I'm going to take her to work and then I'll be borrowing her company for a while.” He walked us towards the kitchen door, but this time my mother was the one who grabbed my wrist.

“Sin, what are you doing?” She asked and I saw that pleading look I had given her last night staring up at me. She wanted me to behave and be a good girl. She wanted me to play 'happy family' and pretend that everything was okay… but I can't do that anymore.

“The same thing as you mama; nothing.” Her expression changed from pleading to broken and I had to look away. Zacky lightly tugged on my arm to get my attention. When I looked up at him he motioned that we had to leave right now. I nodded before turning to my mother one more time. “Feigning ignorance is nice, isn't it mama?” I followed the rhythm guitarist out and squeezed his hand when I heard my mother crying out my name.

She probably thought that I didn't know the truth. She probably thought that I believed Jack only hurt and raped me, but I know their deal. I know that as long as she played ignorant to the abuse to me, he'd focus only on me and wouldn't hurt her. I knew it all along… and yet I took the abuse so that my mother could be spared. I wanted to protect my mother and always thought that she would always stop him before he took the most sacred part of me, but she never did.

“It's okay.” Zack whispered when he pulled out of my driveway.

“No… no it's not.” I cried as I folded my torso into my lap and began bawling like a baby.

“You're not going to work today.” He said as he pulled into his own driveway. I saw him reaching for my bag after he cut off his engine and slapped his hand away. “I need your phone to call out for you.”

“I'm going to work! I have to!” I argued and he shook his head.

“The old man will underst-”

“But you don't! I need to work to save up money to move away! I don't have enough saved up yet, so I need to work to save more. I need to get out of there. I need to leave this place.” I gasped out as I tried fighting off an anxiety attack.

“Sin, you are taking the day off, you can barely breathe.” He argued as he made another attempt for my bag. I quickly grabbed his hand and brought it to my chest. I wanted to beg him to stop and let me go to work, but I couldn't form intelligent words. “I will help you and I will protect you, if you'd just trust me.” He turned and hugged me. “I'll protect you.” I heard him whisper before the exhaustion started kicking in.

Zacky's POV

After she fell asleep, I pushed her gently to the car seat and reached for her bag one more time. I searched through the fake leather material until my fingers brushed over her phone. I quickly grabbed it and dialed the old man's number to tell him that she wouldn't be going in today. He didn't mind, but he seemed a little concern about her, so I just told him that she wasn't feeling well.

“No...” She mumbled in her sleep and I took that as my cue to get her out of the car and into a proper bed.

“Come on Princess.” I whispered as I scooped her into my arms and walked her into my house. I honestly didn't think this was going to be how she'd enter my house for the first time. I cleaned it thinking she'd be awake; so much for that effort. “Sorry I can't give you the grand tour.” I teased as I walked up the stairs and into my room. “Maybe when you wake up.” I offered while laying her down on my bed. I took her shoes off and thought that maybe the dress and tights might be uncomfortable for her. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed a shirt and a pair of shorts. I thought about changing her myself, but dismissed that thought right away since I'm married and out of respect for her. “A job for Lee.” I mumbled before calling Jimmy.

“Hey brother! I was just going to call you to see if you wanted to help kidnap Sin and take her to the beach. Everyone is already here and game.” Jimmy's excitement over a rare day off while still recording is something.

“Well, I actually have Sin at my house. She was having a hard night so she's sleeping in my bed. However, she fell asleep before she could change clothes, so I was wondering if Lee could come over and change her clothes so she's a bit more comfortable.” Well, it's really disgusting to hide things from Jimmy.

“Yeah, sure. We'll be right there.” I smiled before saying bye, but he didn't let me go that easily. “Zack, is she okay? She didn't answer any of my texts yesterday until around three-thirty in the morning. Not only did it take so long for her to reply, but her texts were… off.” Damn him and his perception skills.

“Honestly… I don't know. When we were at the diner… she begged me not to tell. I don't know the story, but I'm worried too.” He hummed at my response before saying they'd be here in five minutes; knowing Jimmy, he'll be here in four.

“Mama...” I heard her whimper and turned to see her curled into a ball and crying.

I felt this churning in my stomach and anger building in my chest, but knew not to do anything about it. No, instead I just ignored my urges to wrap her up in my arms and left the room. I can't lie and say the guys didn't bring up a valid point with Sin's beauty last night, but I won't allow myself to think of her as anything more than a friend, no, as a baby sister. She's a defenseless child who needs to be protected… but she also has a good sense of who she is and what she wants. She's independent, strong (on most occasions), funny, smart, beautiful, has an amazing smile, and…

Stop! Forbidden territory. I have a wife. I love my wife and Sin has her whole life ahead of her and doesn't need to be with a rock star. No, she needs someone normal and average… and a bit boring. She needs someone who is safe for her… and not married.

“Anybody home?” Matt's voice nearly shook the house while bringing me out of my self chastising.

“Yeah, up here.” I called back and it all of a sudden sounded like a heard of elephants charging up my stairs. I don't think my stairs can handle four big men and one petite entertainer. “That was fast.” I gave them a smile and Jimmy and Lee shoved passed me to go into my room.

“We were already on our way. So, how about some beers?” Johnny asked with a grin and I just shook my head before ushering them to the kitchen downstairs.

Jimmy's POV

“It's weird to see her so covered up.” I said as I threw Lee the clothes and sat behind Sin.

“Yeah, she seemed the type to dislike covering a lot of herself; granted I think she just wanted to show off the tattoos.” She smiled as she knelt on the bed and pushed the skirt part of the dress up. “Jimmy...” I looked over to where she was staring at on Sin's stomach and grimaced.

“What the hell?” I asked while staring at the black and blue marks all over her mid section.

“There's more.” I looked at my wife to see her sitting over Sin's pelvis and lifting the dress up until it was to her chest. She looked at me with fear in her eyes and silently asking if it was really okay to continue.

“I'll finish taking the dress off.” I didn't want my Leana to have to look at the bruises on her stomach and chest anymore. “Shit.” I hissed when I saw them on her arms too. I swallowed my anger and took her choker off too in hopes of making her feel more comfortable and to see less bruised skin… but there where bruises on her neck too. It looked like someone was trying to strangle her. “Baby girl, what happened?” I asked as I brushed some of her hair out of her face. It felt like something was caked on her so I tried rubbing it away. She winced, but didn't wake.

“James.” I tore my eyes off the cut on her forehead to look at Lee since she never called me by my legal name unless it was important. “I think she was raped...”

“Why do you say that?”

“Look.” She cried as she got up and covered her mouth. I got up from my spot and stopped when I saw what she meant. Sin had bruises on her thighs that matched hand imprints. She also had scratch marks that didn't seem possible for her small fingernails. Whoever hurt her made sure they damaged her body. “Who would do that to her?” Leana cried and I felt my heart breaking not only for the fragile girl laying in my friend's bed, but for my wife who had friends who were raped due to their old profession.

“I don't know, but I promise I will make them pay.” I growled as I hugged my Lee-Lee.

“Guys?” We heard a soft voice from the bed and turned to see Sin waking up. “Leana, why are you crying?” She held out her arms in a gesture to let Lee crawl into an embrace, but dropped her limbs when she saw them bare. “What did you guys do?” She screamed as she scrambled to cover her body.

“Sin, who did this?” My voice was calm, but it wasn't in an attempt to comfort the two girls, I wanted to murder whoever hurt my friend.

“No, no, no.” She managed to cover herself with a blanket, but I wasn't going to let her ignore this.

“TELL ME WHO DID THIS TO YOU!” I commanded.

“NO!” She fought back as I tried to take the blanket away from her.

“Sin, sweetie, we just want to help you.” Lea said gently and I could hear the others coming up.

“NO! YOU DON'T! YOU CAN'T!” She screamed just before the door opened. Her eyes shot towards the guys and the only image that came to mind was that of a wounded and scared baby animal.

“Sin!” Zacky pushed his way past the others and encased her into his body. She let out a few shrieks before just collapsing and crying into him. “Shh, it'll be okay. I'm here.”

“Zack, we need to know what happened. Lea thinks she was raped.” I said calmly and noticed all the guys tensing up. If there was anything I could say about my friends, it would be that they are very over protective of their friends.

“Sin, I need you to tell us what happened. Please, we just want to help.” He said and I'm guessing she nodded in agreement. “You want us to leave so you can get dressed and compose yourself a bit?” I'm guessing another nod. “Let's let her calm down a bit.” He turned to get up and leave, but she held his arm and said she wanted him to stay.

“We'll be waiting downstairs.” Matt said before nodding for the rest of us to leave the two.

“How bad can it be?” Johnny asked as we descended the stairs.

“Do you mean her explaining the marks on her body, or leaving Vengeance and her alone?” Syn asked and I had to give it to him, he had a point.

“Both.” Christ clarified and Shadows just shook his head.

“Let's just hope they aren't stupid and realize ZV is married and is Little Sin gets hurt, we'll kill whoever did it.” Shads threatened and I just sighed.

“You see it too, don't you?” Lea asked as she took my hand in hers.

“Ray Charles could see that those two are falling in love.” I groaned and the guys just shared that same 'shit is going to hit the fan soon' look I had.