Status: UPDATED TWICE A WEEK
Wherever You Are
Over The Sea
It started two days before the last show in Europe. Luke and I had been getting on really well and I loved sharing the bus with the band. I was probably the only one, but it was never boring. I never felt alone when I had to wake up early and work, because chances were that Michael was still awake playing video games. And if I ever needed a midnight snack? Luke was always two steps ahead, making us sandwiches and sharing chips with me. I found myself grateful for friends, the first friends I'd been able to make in quite some time. It wasn't that I had been depressed before, but I also found myself feeling happy (for lack of a better phrase). I found myself enjoying my work, although it kept me busy all day, and excited to see the boys at the end of the night. It was working out better than I had imagined it, until it started two days before the last show in Europe.
Luke and I were sitting in the back lounge while everyone else was sleeping. The bus was hurtling down the foreign highway and Luke was showing me music videos on the television, explaining each and every artist. He had taught me so much already, but he felt that any good musical education would not be complete with at least a primer on Green Day. He explained the album American Idiot as a large political statement, and roved on about how it had changed his life by showing him that music could have a statement and opinion. I listened as best as I could, but was feeling rather sleepy. I must have dipped into slumber at one point, because Luke forced me awake with a nudge of his elbow and my eyes jolted open. He chuckled, his hand rubbing my back as if to make sure that I was okay, and I shook my head to wake myself up. "I'm really sorry, Luke. It's just that music makes me sleepy." He leaned forward in his seat and nodded. "That's good, it means that it relaxes you. I get the same way." He used the remote to turn down the television before leaning back in his seat and I rubbed my eyes as he tried to come up with a topic of conversation. "So, why California?" I glanced up at him, uncertain of what he was trying to ask. "I mean, if you were leaving Alaska then why not go somewhere farther away?" he paused, "I don't know, I feel like I would have gone to New York, or something." I sighed and leaned back myself, my eyes staring at the ceiling as I remembered how the decision came about. "Well," I began.
"The plan was originally to go to Princeton." Luke's eyes widened as he ate chips. He didn't say anything, though, and let me continue. "I applied to a lot of schools for university and I had really great grades but my school didn't have enough extra curricular activities to satisfy any requirements." He seemed less surprise, and maybe even a little disappointed. Did Luke dream about meeting a and Ivy League girl? I smirked at the thought of him wanting to date someone smart. "So, I started searching for jobs instead. There were no jobs in Barrow, so I didn't have any experience but a friend of mine told me that I should be an assistant." He nodded his head as if the pieces in his mind were coming together. "I applied for Molly's posting and took her position after one interview." He wiped his salty fingers off on his dark jeans. "So, you didn't even know who Dani was, then?" I shook my head, smiling softly. "Molly said that it was probably better if I didn't. She was worried that someone would try to ruin things." Luke nodded once more. "Makes sense." Memories of my first days in California flooded my thoughts, but they weren't sad. As if reading my mind, Luke asked another question. "Do you ever miss it?" I hummed as I tried to find the words. "I miss my parents. I miss watching Star Wars with my dad and," I hesitated,"I never thought that I'd say it but I miss the winter." He laughed at that and the sweet sound made me laugh, too. Our laughter died down and he leaned closer to me somehow. "Well, I think you've done really great for yourself." I smiled and opened my mouth to speak. "Thank-" "I mean it, Sarah." His voice was softer now, his eyes burning with intensity. "You were incredibly brave to leave like you did. You knew what you wanted, and you went for it." I barely noticed that he was moving closer and closer, until his lips pressed firmly against mine. I was surprised, but leaned back into him instinctively until he was ripped away from me. He drew back, standing up from his seat and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Sarah I'm-" I stood up, just trying to be closer to him, but he took a big step back. "Goodnight." He left the room quickly, and I hesitated to turn off the television and head to my own bunk. I stopped next to Luke's, leaning close so that he could hear me. "Luke?" I was unsure if he was awake, but I also couldn't imagine him having fallen asleep fast. He didn't answer me though, so I quietly climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep. I had a dream about what he might say and my own responses. I was trying to prepare myself for the awkward conversation to come. I woke up with it being the first thing on my mind and even though it scared me that I might lose my friendship with Luke, I needed to get it over with.
As everyone loaded out of the bus and into the venue, I tried to talk to him. I caught up to where he was walking through the grass with Ashton and elbowed him gently. It was the way that we usually greeted each other. Instead of my usual welcome, he glanced over at me and then continued his conversation with Ashton. He had become so incredibly cold and I was scared that I had done something wrong. Don't laugh at me when I tell you this, but I had never kissed anyone before. I was worried that maybe my lips were rough, or maybe my breath was disgusting. I would never know, though. At least not from Luke. He continued to ignore me and if there was any threat that we may be left alone: he made sure to leave, too. In my dreams, I played back the kiss over and over again. I needed to find out where I went wrong. I told myself that I could apologize for whatever it was, then Luke and I could go right back to listening to music together. Before I knew it, it was the day of the last show in Europe. I still tried to talk to Luke, but we never had a moment alone and he was still avoiding talking to me. As much as I hated that there was a separation between us, I had to admit that he was really good at avoidance. I tried to act like everything was okay when everyone else was around, but deep down I was feeling ashamed. Luckily, my days were so busy that I could distract myself from the budding issues of being on tour. At night, however, I was forced to lay alone in my bunk and pretend to sleep when really, all I wanted was to just go back to how things were. I was giving Dani a bottled water right before she went on stage and she scrolled through her phone. "Hey Sarah, it looks like everyone is going out tonight. You're going to come, right?" I thought about where they might go. I'd never had a sip of alcohol before and I didn't like the idea of drowning my emotional instability in drinking. Still, if Luke would be drinking then it might provide an outlet for us to have the conversation that he had been trying to avoid. So after the show, we all got dressed up to go out, and I tried to remain hopeful about the night ahead.
It didn't go entirely as planned. I agreed to drink a beer when Calum bought a round for the table, but Leda had to pressure me to down all of the shots. None of it was impressive, to be honest. It was all bitter and strong, and it burned my insides up almost as much as the thought of what the rest of the tour could be if I couldn't regain Luke's friendship. Needless to say, it wasn't long until I was a mumbling mess. Leda and Michael scurried off to the bathroom to have sex, and I tried not to imagine how disgusting that act must be. Shortly thereafter, Dani suggested that we all go dance. I'm not a dancer, but she and Ashton didn't give Luke or I a choice in the matter, so we were pulled to the dance floor and were left standing awkwardly. As Dani and Ashton found a groove, Luke and I stood still. We were practically staring each other down in silence. When I opened my mouth, he turned away from me before the words could slip out. I thought about following him, but I didn't. If I was going to convince him that I was fine with being just friends, then I needed to prove it by not suffocating him. Instead, I sat by the bar and sipped down on water while I waited for the signal that the group was leaving. There was no signal in sight, however, and I was quickly losing track of time. I glanced up from my phone to see Luke sitting on the other side of the bar, finishing up another beer. He looked wrecked. His cheeks were bright red, his eyes mostly closed, and he looked incredibly sweaty. I got off of my stool and made my way towards him, tapping him on the shoulder when I reached him. "Sarah!" His voice was nearly shrill, his arms held out to hug me. "I was wondering where you went!" He was sloppy, and I felt bad that I hadn't gone after him to make sure he stayed out of trouble. It took some convincing, but after a series of awkward hugs I was able to get him to pay his tab and leave the bar. He leaned his weight on me as I opened the door for a cab and helped him crawl in. When I was in my own seat, he rested his head on my shoulder. "Sarah, you are a guardian angel." He was whispered, and I could barely make out the words that his lips were forming. Still, I listened intently for signs of life while I responded. "Luke, I'm your friend. I'm always going to want to look out for you." His face nuzzles into my side as he attempted to wrap his arms around me. I was beginning to compare him to a child when I wrapped my own arms around him, holding him steady as the cab took a rough turn. "Really, you're the best." I stifled laughter from yet another compliment. "Okay, buddy. It's okay." He shook his head but didn't try to sit up at all. "You don't get it," his voice was growing into a frustrated tone and I froze. "I kissed you because I really, really wanted to." I told myself not to think much of it. I had wanted to kiss him too until he reacted the way that he did. Feelings changed. "I know, Luke." He was quiet for a long time and I thought that maybe he had fallen asleep, but he proved me wrong by speaking up again. His speech was still slurred terribly. "I only ignored you cause I saw how uncomfortable you were." I turned my face down to stare at his face as it lay pressed against my chest, his eyes closed as though he were too lazy to open them. "What?" I muttered. "I didn't want you to think that I was pressuring you, and I was trying to find the courage to say how much I like you." I could feel goosebumps forming on my arms.
"I think you're so incredibly cute and you look so soft, Sarah. I just want to touch you all the time and hold onto your warm little body." My heart was nearly beating out of my chest, and I was honestly surprised that he didn't comment on it since he was suddenly feeling so talkative. "Thing is, you looked so scared when I kissed you. I was so scared that I ruined our friendship." My eyes burned in the kind of way that told me I wanted to cry. I cleared my throat as the cab pulled up to the bus depot and Luke continued to blabber on as I escorted him out of the vehicle and to the bus. "I really don't want you to say that we're just friends, Sarah, cause I want so much more." I tried to not let what he was saying pull a reaction of me. I wasn't even sure if I could believe him when he was drunk. Still, I helped him climb into his bunk, and I covered him up with his blanket. He still had his shoes on, but my adrenaline was surging too strongly for me to focus on the details. So I just tucked him into his bed the way that he was, and handed him one of my stuffed animals so that he would let go of the hold he had on my arm. I went to bed analyzing the way that he said every word. I looked soft? He wanted to hold me. He wanted to be more than friends. I didn't know what to say to that, but I needed to try before I lost my nerve. I ripped open the curtain to my bunk and rolled out of bed. I pulled back the curtain to his bunk and could feel excitement growing from the back of my throat. "Luke, I just want you to know-" Nothing. I wasn't going to let him know anything, because he was fast asleep. I was surprised that I didn't hear him snoring from my own bunk. He was hugging himself with my stuffed rabbit caught within his arms while he barely stirred. I closed the curtain, feeling rather worn, and went right back to bed. I needed to sleep on this information and figure out if I even wanted anything with Luke. That is, if he was even telling the truth.
The next day was a busy one. Everyone was trying to pack all of the stuff that they had somehow unpacked over the last two weeks in preparation to leave the bus. We would flying to Japan to start the Asian leg, and the buses would be shipped so that they would be ready by the time we left Asia. So far, it seemed like this was the last day the band would be sharing a bus with us, so I tried to convince myself to be courageous. When I got ready for the day, however, Luke was right back to avoiding me. Probably for the best, I thought. I walked to the back lounge to grab my pair of headphones that I had mindlessly left on the table and didn't hear Luke walk up behind me. I turned around and was confronted with him, his face looking pale. "I'm sorry." Those were the only words that he could visibly muster at that moment. I looked down for a moment and then back up at him. "It's alright. I thought that you might need some help getting back safely so I-" He shook his head slowly, his voice lower than before. "No, I mean I'm sorry." He looked behind him to make sure that we were still in private before continuing. "I'm sorry if I've been avoiding you. And I'm so sorry if I said anything senseless and terrible last night. Sometimes, I can get a little offensive and I just wanted to say that-" I found it, my courage. I stretched onto my tip toes and gave him a kiss, coming back to my original state and seeing him a bit taken back. I smiled anyway though, because I was suddenly feeling confident. "I want to be more than friends, too." His brows furrowed and then suddenly his eyes widened. "What? I mean, really?" I laughed a little at the look of pure surprise on his face as Paul called out for us to depart. I nodded and we both walked off and climbed into the van that would take us to the airport. Because we were the last ones in the van, we were forced to sit apart. I tried not to glance back at him the whole ride, but as we waited at the gate we shared longing stares. Every time that he caught me looking in his direction, he smiled wide and didn't bother to look away. It felt so weird to that that just the day before, he was avoiding me and yet right now, I knew that he just wanted to be close to me. We boarded the plane and I plopped down into my window seat while Ashton took the seat next to mine. Luke and I shared a glance and then Leda suddenly was striking conversation with Ashton from her seat next to Luke. I had a feeling that Leda was my own guardian angel, because without knowing what I was thinking, she blurted out rather quickly. "Ashton, it's difficult to hear you. Why don't you and Luke just switch seats?" "Is that alright with you, Luke?" Ashton had barely gotten the question out when Luke grabbed his carry on and they switched seats with each other. He put his backpack in the overhead compartment and then sat in the empty seat next me. He leaned back, his head turned so that he could look at me and we sat silently staring at each other, smiles stretched across our faces. He buckled his seat belt and before grabbing my hand and my heart nearly sprang from my chest. He closed the window for me just before take off, and then leaned his head onto my shoulder once we were stable in the air. He fell asleep, snoring gently and yet never let go of my hand although it grew numb. I tried to doze off, but found it difficult to sleep with him resting against me. The flight attendant came by with the drink cart, requesting what I would like. She handed me a small bottle of orange juice and then hesitated to move on. I stared up to herm, in case she needed to say something. "Anything for your boyfriend, dear?" I glanced down at Luke, his snores becoming soft rumbles and I couldn't help but hold my breath. I looked back to the flight attendant, not wanting to waste her time.
"My boyfriend will be fine."
Luke and I were sitting in the back lounge while everyone else was sleeping. The bus was hurtling down the foreign highway and Luke was showing me music videos on the television, explaining each and every artist. He had taught me so much already, but he felt that any good musical education would not be complete with at least a primer on Green Day. He explained the album American Idiot as a large political statement, and roved on about how it had changed his life by showing him that music could have a statement and opinion. I listened as best as I could, but was feeling rather sleepy. I must have dipped into slumber at one point, because Luke forced me awake with a nudge of his elbow and my eyes jolted open. He chuckled, his hand rubbing my back as if to make sure that I was okay, and I shook my head to wake myself up. "I'm really sorry, Luke. It's just that music makes me sleepy." He leaned forward in his seat and nodded. "That's good, it means that it relaxes you. I get the same way." He used the remote to turn down the television before leaning back in his seat and I rubbed my eyes as he tried to come up with a topic of conversation. "So, why California?" I glanced up at him, uncertain of what he was trying to ask. "I mean, if you were leaving Alaska then why not go somewhere farther away?" he paused, "I don't know, I feel like I would have gone to New York, or something." I sighed and leaned back myself, my eyes staring at the ceiling as I remembered how the decision came about. "Well," I began.
"The plan was originally to go to Princeton." Luke's eyes widened as he ate chips. He didn't say anything, though, and let me continue. "I applied to a lot of schools for university and I had really great grades but my school didn't have enough extra curricular activities to satisfy any requirements." He seemed less surprise, and maybe even a little disappointed. Did Luke dream about meeting a and Ivy League girl? I smirked at the thought of him wanting to date someone smart. "So, I started searching for jobs instead. There were no jobs in Barrow, so I didn't have any experience but a friend of mine told me that I should be an assistant." He nodded his head as if the pieces in his mind were coming together. "I applied for Molly's posting and took her position after one interview." He wiped his salty fingers off on his dark jeans. "So, you didn't even know who Dani was, then?" I shook my head, smiling softly. "Molly said that it was probably better if I didn't. She was worried that someone would try to ruin things." Luke nodded once more. "Makes sense." Memories of my first days in California flooded my thoughts, but they weren't sad. As if reading my mind, Luke asked another question. "Do you ever miss it?" I hummed as I tried to find the words. "I miss my parents. I miss watching Star Wars with my dad and," I hesitated,"I never thought that I'd say it but I miss the winter." He laughed at that and the sweet sound made me laugh, too. Our laughter died down and he leaned closer to me somehow. "Well, I think you've done really great for yourself." I smiled and opened my mouth to speak. "Thank-" "I mean it, Sarah." His voice was softer now, his eyes burning with intensity. "You were incredibly brave to leave like you did. You knew what you wanted, and you went for it." I barely noticed that he was moving closer and closer, until his lips pressed firmly against mine. I was surprised, but leaned back into him instinctively until he was ripped away from me. He drew back, standing up from his seat and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Sarah I'm-" I stood up, just trying to be closer to him, but he took a big step back. "Goodnight." He left the room quickly, and I hesitated to turn off the television and head to my own bunk. I stopped next to Luke's, leaning close so that he could hear me. "Luke?" I was unsure if he was awake, but I also couldn't imagine him having fallen asleep fast. He didn't answer me though, so I quietly climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep. I had a dream about what he might say and my own responses. I was trying to prepare myself for the awkward conversation to come. I woke up with it being the first thing on my mind and even though it scared me that I might lose my friendship with Luke, I needed to get it over with.
As everyone loaded out of the bus and into the venue, I tried to talk to him. I caught up to where he was walking through the grass with Ashton and elbowed him gently. It was the way that we usually greeted each other. Instead of my usual welcome, he glanced over at me and then continued his conversation with Ashton. He had become so incredibly cold and I was scared that I had done something wrong. Don't laugh at me when I tell you this, but I had never kissed anyone before. I was worried that maybe my lips were rough, or maybe my breath was disgusting. I would never know, though. At least not from Luke. He continued to ignore me and if there was any threat that we may be left alone: he made sure to leave, too. In my dreams, I played back the kiss over and over again. I needed to find out where I went wrong. I told myself that I could apologize for whatever it was, then Luke and I could go right back to listening to music together. Before I knew it, it was the day of the last show in Europe. I still tried to talk to Luke, but we never had a moment alone and he was still avoiding talking to me. As much as I hated that there was a separation between us, I had to admit that he was really good at avoidance. I tried to act like everything was okay when everyone else was around, but deep down I was feeling ashamed. Luckily, my days were so busy that I could distract myself from the budding issues of being on tour. At night, however, I was forced to lay alone in my bunk and pretend to sleep when really, all I wanted was to just go back to how things were. I was giving Dani a bottled water right before she went on stage and she scrolled through her phone. "Hey Sarah, it looks like everyone is going out tonight. You're going to come, right?" I thought about where they might go. I'd never had a sip of alcohol before and I didn't like the idea of drowning my emotional instability in drinking. Still, if Luke would be drinking then it might provide an outlet for us to have the conversation that he had been trying to avoid. So after the show, we all got dressed up to go out, and I tried to remain hopeful about the night ahead.
It didn't go entirely as planned. I agreed to drink a beer when Calum bought a round for the table, but Leda had to pressure me to down all of the shots. None of it was impressive, to be honest. It was all bitter and strong, and it burned my insides up almost as much as the thought of what the rest of the tour could be if I couldn't regain Luke's friendship. Needless to say, it wasn't long until I was a mumbling mess. Leda and Michael scurried off to the bathroom to have sex, and I tried not to imagine how disgusting that act must be. Shortly thereafter, Dani suggested that we all go dance. I'm not a dancer, but she and Ashton didn't give Luke or I a choice in the matter, so we were pulled to the dance floor and were left standing awkwardly. As Dani and Ashton found a groove, Luke and I stood still. We were practically staring each other down in silence. When I opened my mouth, he turned away from me before the words could slip out. I thought about following him, but I didn't. If I was going to convince him that I was fine with being just friends, then I needed to prove it by not suffocating him. Instead, I sat by the bar and sipped down on water while I waited for the signal that the group was leaving. There was no signal in sight, however, and I was quickly losing track of time. I glanced up from my phone to see Luke sitting on the other side of the bar, finishing up another beer. He looked wrecked. His cheeks were bright red, his eyes mostly closed, and he looked incredibly sweaty. I got off of my stool and made my way towards him, tapping him on the shoulder when I reached him. "Sarah!" His voice was nearly shrill, his arms held out to hug me. "I was wondering where you went!" He was sloppy, and I felt bad that I hadn't gone after him to make sure he stayed out of trouble. It took some convincing, but after a series of awkward hugs I was able to get him to pay his tab and leave the bar. He leaned his weight on me as I opened the door for a cab and helped him crawl in. When I was in my own seat, he rested his head on my shoulder. "Sarah, you are a guardian angel." He was whispered, and I could barely make out the words that his lips were forming. Still, I listened intently for signs of life while I responded. "Luke, I'm your friend. I'm always going to want to look out for you." His face nuzzles into my side as he attempted to wrap his arms around me. I was beginning to compare him to a child when I wrapped my own arms around him, holding him steady as the cab took a rough turn. "Really, you're the best." I stifled laughter from yet another compliment. "Okay, buddy. It's okay." He shook his head but didn't try to sit up at all. "You don't get it," his voice was growing into a frustrated tone and I froze. "I kissed you because I really, really wanted to." I told myself not to think much of it. I had wanted to kiss him too until he reacted the way that he did. Feelings changed. "I know, Luke." He was quiet for a long time and I thought that maybe he had fallen asleep, but he proved me wrong by speaking up again. His speech was still slurred terribly. "I only ignored you cause I saw how uncomfortable you were." I turned my face down to stare at his face as it lay pressed against my chest, his eyes closed as though he were too lazy to open them. "What?" I muttered. "I didn't want you to think that I was pressuring you, and I was trying to find the courage to say how much I like you." I could feel goosebumps forming on my arms.
"I think you're so incredibly cute and you look so soft, Sarah. I just want to touch you all the time and hold onto your warm little body." My heart was nearly beating out of my chest, and I was honestly surprised that he didn't comment on it since he was suddenly feeling so talkative. "Thing is, you looked so scared when I kissed you. I was so scared that I ruined our friendship." My eyes burned in the kind of way that told me I wanted to cry. I cleared my throat as the cab pulled up to the bus depot and Luke continued to blabber on as I escorted him out of the vehicle and to the bus. "I really don't want you to say that we're just friends, Sarah, cause I want so much more." I tried to not let what he was saying pull a reaction of me. I wasn't even sure if I could believe him when he was drunk. Still, I helped him climb into his bunk, and I covered him up with his blanket. He still had his shoes on, but my adrenaline was surging too strongly for me to focus on the details. So I just tucked him into his bed the way that he was, and handed him one of my stuffed animals so that he would let go of the hold he had on my arm. I went to bed analyzing the way that he said every word. I looked soft? He wanted to hold me. He wanted to be more than friends. I didn't know what to say to that, but I needed to try before I lost my nerve. I ripped open the curtain to my bunk and rolled out of bed. I pulled back the curtain to his bunk and could feel excitement growing from the back of my throat. "Luke, I just want you to know-" Nothing. I wasn't going to let him know anything, because he was fast asleep. I was surprised that I didn't hear him snoring from my own bunk. He was hugging himself with my stuffed rabbit caught within his arms while he barely stirred. I closed the curtain, feeling rather worn, and went right back to bed. I needed to sleep on this information and figure out if I even wanted anything with Luke. That is, if he was even telling the truth.
The next day was a busy one. Everyone was trying to pack all of the stuff that they had somehow unpacked over the last two weeks in preparation to leave the bus. We would flying to Japan to start the Asian leg, and the buses would be shipped so that they would be ready by the time we left Asia. So far, it seemed like this was the last day the band would be sharing a bus with us, so I tried to convince myself to be courageous. When I got ready for the day, however, Luke was right back to avoiding me. Probably for the best, I thought. I walked to the back lounge to grab my pair of headphones that I had mindlessly left on the table and didn't hear Luke walk up behind me. I turned around and was confronted with him, his face looking pale. "I'm sorry." Those were the only words that he could visibly muster at that moment. I looked down for a moment and then back up at him. "It's alright. I thought that you might need some help getting back safely so I-" He shook his head slowly, his voice lower than before. "No, I mean I'm sorry." He looked behind him to make sure that we were still in private before continuing. "I'm sorry if I've been avoiding you. And I'm so sorry if I said anything senseless and terrible last night. Sometimes, I can get a little offensive and I just wanted to say that-" I found it, my courage. I stretched onto my tip toes and gave him a kiss, coming back to my original state and seeing him a bit taken back. I smiled anyway though, because I was suddenly feeling confident. "I want to be more than friends, too." His brows furrowed and then suddenly his eyes widened. "What? I mean, really?" I laughed a little at the look of pure surprise on his face as Paul called out for us to depart. I nodded and we both walked off and climbed into the van that would take us to the airport. Because we were the last ones in the van, we were forced to sit apart. I tried not to glance back at him the whole ride, but as we waited at the gate we shared longing stares. Every time that he caught me looking in his direction, he smiled wide and didn't bother to look away. It felt so weird to that that just the day before, he was avoiding me and yet right now, I knew that he just wanted to be close to me. We boarded the plane and I plopped down into my window seat while Ashton took the seat next to mine. Luke and I shared a glance and then Leda suddenly was striking conversation with Ashton from her seat next to Luke. I had a feeling that Leda was my own guardian angel, because without knowing what I was thinking, she blurted out rather quickly. "Ashton, it's difficult to hear you. Why don't you and Luke just switch seats?" "Is that alright with you, Luke?" Ashton had barely gotten the question out when Luke grabbed his carry on and they switched seats with each other. He put his backpack in the overhead compartment and then sat in the empty seat next me. He leaned back, his head turned so that he could look at me and we sat silently staring at each other, smiles stretched across our faces. He buckled his seat belt and before grabbing my hand and my heart nearly sprang from my chest. He closed the window for me just before take off, and then leaned his head onto my shoulder once we were stable in the air. He fell asleep, snoring gently and yet never let go of my hand although it grew numb. I tried to doze off, but found it difficult to sleep with him resting against me. The flight attendant came by with the drink cart, requesting what I would like. She handed me a small bottle of orange juice and then hesitated to move on. I stared up to herm, in case she needed to say something. "Anything for your boyfriend, dear?" I glanced down at Luke, his snores becoming soft rumbles and I couldn't help but hold my breath. I looked back to the flight attendant, not wanting to waste her time.
"My boyfriend will be fine."