‹ Prequel: A Sense of Wonder
Sequel: All of Me

There Must Be a Way

Official State Business

All eyes were on her as she emerged from Air Force One. She stood tall, with her shoulders pushed back and head held high. Her presence was so imposing that for a moment, the press didn’t react. Their cameras didn’t snap in her direction, her name wasn’t cried out. They instead simply stood there, captivated. They had expected her to shrink away from the attention, to step out behind a Secret Service Agent so as to minimize exposure, they expected her to appear awkward and uncomfortable, but instead she stepped out commanding their attention, demanding that they look.

And she knew that they were looking. She was, after all, their paycheck. No one in the tabloids cared about the President or First Lady. What they cared about was the former royal girlfriend who had returned to attend the funeral of the late Prince of Wales, and much like Senator Davis in America, they were peddling an epic romance to the masses. Every single tabloid and entertainment program in the United Kingdom was actively making her return into a huge story. She had come back to look after Harry in his time of need, she was going to resign from her place in the Senate, she was going to marry him – those were the stories they were selling. Those were the headlines, and as Paulina stood in the doorway, she knew what her picture was going to be used for. She knew the stories it would be attached to, the fanciful lies that were being thought up at that very moment, but regardless of that, she remained visibly unaffected.

In fact, she stood there perfectly poised until the paparazzi started taking pictures. She wanted them recording her, because that way they wouldn’t be able to make up a story about how she rushed down the stairs or how she was shaky on the way down. By recording her, they would be forced to run video of her gracefully making her way down the stairs, and to ensure that it would be documented on her terms, she even stared directly into their cameras a few times, as if daring them to do their worst.

It wasn’t until Paulina reached the bottom that she remembered William and Kate were there. She had been so focused on besting the paparazzi that she’d completely forgotten about the, but when her heels touched the ground, she was confronted with the fact t hat they were standing mere feet away from her.

After nearly a decade, she was once again in their presence.

Kate was the first to speak, which was odd, really. She never spoke first at official events, not when William was around. He was, after all, the blood royal so it only made sense that he initiate conversation, but she couldn’t do that with Paulina. She refused to simply stand there, waiting for William. It wouldn’t be fair. It’d been ages since she’d seen her, longer than it had for William, because he’d visited her in the hospital after the accident. Kate hadn’t. The last time Kate saw Paulina was when they had gone out to dinner with their princes. They had parted as friends, Kate even leant her a scarf to cover the hickeys on her neck, and there had been talk of meeting up in the not so near future, but then the breakup and accident happened, then Paulina left for America.

Things didn’t turn out the way they had imagined. Paulina became a Senator instead of a Duchess, but regardless, that didn’t lessen the fondness that Kate felt towards her. There had been a genuine friendship between them, a mutual affection.

“Madam Senator.” Kate smiled brightly as she extended her hand. “It is an absolute pleasure to welcome you on this, you first official visit to England.”

“Rest assured the pleasure is entirely my own, Your Royal Highness.” Paulina smiled as they shook hands. “I am exceedingly grateful for the warmth of your welcome – particularly during this difficult time for your family.”

“Difficult indeed,” replied Kate. “But your presence is a welcomed one.”

“A sentiment my father undoubtedly shared.” It was then that William cut in. “And although he is not among us, I must ask that you give me leave to thank you on his behalf, Madam Senator.”

“Only if you give me leave to offer my sincerest condolences, Your Royal Highness.”

“Then I give you leave.”

“As do I,” said Paulina. “His Royal Highness was a good man. I pray he will always be remembered as such.”

“May he indeed.” It was then that he extended his hand. “And although the circumstances are less than ideal, it is a true privilege to make your acquaintance as the United States Senator from California.”

“I hope not to disappoint.”

“When have you ever?” The words came out before he’d fully processed them. There was too much familiarity in them. They were inappropriate given the circumstances. As much, he sought to change the tone. “Ah.” He said. “Here come the cameras. Do put on your best smile, Senator.”

Sure enough, pictures were taken of Paulina alongside the Royals. They were the same sort of pictures that had been taken of the President and First Lady with the Royals, but unlike those pictures, Paulina’s would be used as proof that she was chumming up to the Royals, they would be used as evidence that she was trying to make her way back into their circle. She knew that as she stood there, but she also understood there was no getting out of it. So she stood beside William and put on her best smile, she appeared completely nonchalant over the situation, and when the official photographers finally stepped away, she stepped slightly off to the side to allow the President and First Lady to walk to the awaiting vehicle accompanied by William.

It was Kate that stayed at her side. She should’ve been beside William, chatting up the First Lady. That was, after all, her duty, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Not with Paulina there.

“How are things in Washington?” asked Kate.

“Well,” replied Paulina. “We’re working on some very exciting legislation right now. It’s been a very long process, but it’s now to the point where we’ll be able to unveil it in the not so distant future.”

“Might I ask what it’s about?” Kate, like her husband, didn’t care for politics, but she did want to make conversation.

“The minimum wage,” replied Paulina. “We’re aiming to once more make it a living wage.”

“Well that shouldn’t be too much trouble, should it? Certainly people ought to be in favor of that.”

“You’d be surprised,” was her response. “What about you? How are your charities?”

“Doing rather brilliantly, at the moment,” said Kate. “I’m actually in the midst – well, that is to say I was in the midst of planning a gala for the East Anglia Children’s Hospices. We’ve set a rather ambitious fundraising goal for the quarter, and there will be a gala with a silent auction to generate the necessary funding so that we can continue to provide the children and their families with all the assistance they need.”

“Will you be able to raise it?”

“I do believe so, yes.” Kate smiled. “When it’s this sort of charity, people tend to be generous.”

“No one can stand to see children suffer.”

“Precisely,” she agreed. “Where will you be staying?”

“At The Savoy,” Paulina told her.

“Have you ever been before?”

“Never – actually, whenever we’re in London, we stay with Alfred and Olivia.” Paulina replied. “Will you be returning to the Palace now that we’ve arrived?”

“We will.” And Kate was relieved of that. “Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie will now take over the duties.”

“I hope they are wearing very comfortable heels.”

“I hope not.” Kate said that part softly, but it was just loud enough for Paulina to hear.

“After all these years?” asked Paulina, unable to believe the animosity still existed.

“To the death, apparently,” replied Kate, nonchalantly. “Quite alright though, rest assured.”

It was then that they reached the Presidential motorcade vehicles. The President and First Lady were going to travel in one, accompanied by their closest staff members. For her part, Paulina would have one to herself.

Polite parting words were spoken by all parties involved and when Paulina entered her vehicle, her entourage was already inside. There was even a Secret Service agent in there with her. Paulina had been assigned two for the duration of her trip.

Since it was the first time that Paulina and her entourage had participated in a presidential motorcade, they didn’t talk. They were far too busy taking it all in. There was something absolutely exhilarating about knowing that traffic had been stopped for them, that their path had been cleared. And to be honest, there was a moment when Paulina allowed her imagination to get the best of her. She closed her eyes and pretended that it was her motorcade, not Woodbury’s. She was the President of the United States – the first Madam President in all its history. The thought alone was enough to put a little smile on her face. Had the others been paying attention to her, they would’ve wondered what the hell she was smiling about, but Ember and Jeffrey were both staring out the window. It was their first time in London. As for Tomás and the Secret Service agent, they were far too busy taking in the surroundings to notice her smile.

It wasn’t until they reached The Savoy that she stopped entertaining those thoughts. She would have her own motorcade one day. She just had to play her cards right until then, but for now she was proud to be a Senator. That alone had been her life’s ambition, everything after that would be a delightful surprise.

They didn’t exit right away. They waited until the President and First Lady were safely inside the hotel, and as soon as they were, the small army of Secret Service agents charged with guarding the primary entrance, redirected their attention to Paulina and ushered her in. She’d thought that they were going to check in, get the keys to the room, but when she started to walk towards the desk, her Agent Reynolds informed her that she had already been checked in. And so they went to the top floor that had been set aside for the American delegation.

“Which ones mine?” she asked.

“This one, Ma’am,” he answered as he led her to the room.

It was right across from the Royal suite where the President would be staying with the First Lady. Her suite might not have the Royal prefix, but the grandeur of it was not diminished by it. It was a three bedroom suite that boasted a remarkable view of the River Thames and even had a spacious sitting room with seating for five. In fact, when they stepped inside they were greeted by another Agent. This time it was Agent Maddows. It was his duty to remain inside the room at all times, and ensure that its safety was never compromised.

“Well hello there.” Paulina greeted him with a smile. “I take it you’re a part of my security team.”

“I am, Ma’am.”

“I’d say you can call me Paulina, but we both know you won’t.” She extended her hand. “What’s your name?”

“Agent Maddows, at your service, Ma’am.” He shook her hand.

“It’s nice meeting you, Agent Maddows. Thank you for looking after me.”

He bowed his head slightly in reply.

“I won’t be bothering you much tonight, I only have one question. Do you know if my things have been brought up?”

“They have. They are located in the master suite. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where it is.”

“Another question before we go, has my staffs’ luggage been brought up as well?”

“It has. I will show them to their room momentarily.”

“No need.” Ember spoke up. “We’ll figure it out. You take care of the Senator.”

“I took the liberty of leaving all the keys beside the nightstand.” He informed her as they walked into the room. “Agent Reynolds and myself have our own copies. There are three others for you to do what you wish with.”

“I don’t really need one, do I?”

“Not really, Ma’am.”

“Then Tomás, Ember, and Jeffrey can have them.” She had expected the curtains to be drawn like they had in the sitting area, but the room was pitch black. “Am I to keep the curtains closed at all times?”

“We would prefer if you did, Ma’am.”

“And does that also mean that I should avoid stepping onto the balcony?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied from his place beside the door. “We have security on neighboring rooftops, but there is always a risk.”

“There’s no need to explain.” She looked back and smiled. “I understand.”

“Is there anything else you need, Ma’am?”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”

“I’ll join Reynolds in the living room then. If there’s anything you need, we’ll be right outside.”

Paulina waited until the door closed before kicking off her heels. She had some inserts that were designed to make them more comfortable, but there was only so much they could do before her feet started hurting. It was a necessary sacrifice though, she knew she look better in heels than in flats, and this weekend was all about appearance. With her heels off, she set to work on her pantyhose. She quickly threw them off and with her newfound freedom, went over to her luggage to pull out her pajamas. She toyed with the thought of showering, but she had already showered on the plane before they landed. So she settled on just washing her face.

Now that she was settled in, she grabbed her private phone and took a picture of herself. It was a tradition that she had established with Francis. Whenever they traveled, it was difficult to know exactly when the other would be free to talk, so instead they took selfies and sent it to the other, there was always a brief caption that went along with it, and if the other received the picture and could talk, then they called. If not, at least they knew that their loved one was okay. Sure enough, Francis wasn’t able to call. He was in the middle of a meeting when she sent the text, but at least he knew that she had landed safely in London. And with that settled, she slipped on the complimentary slippers and went over to the room that Ember and Jeffrey would be sharing.

“Can I come in?” she asked as she knocked on the door.

“Go ahead, Ma’am.”

Unlike Paulina, Ember and Jeffrey had yet to change into pajamas.

“You two settling in okay?” she wanted to make sure they were comfortable.

“We’re alright.” Ember answered. “We’d be even better if we were over at the Royal suite, but I suppose this hovel will have to do.”

“Right?” she went along with this. “How dare they put us in these accommodations?”

“They’ve no respect.” Ember stated. “We’ll make due though.”

“Speak for yourself,” Jeffrey chimed in. “I imagine I’ll be having a Princess and the Pea sort of night.”

It was then that the three of them burst into laughter.

“Seriously though, this is insane.” Ember said as she sat on the edge of her bed. “I thought for sure Jeffrey and I were going to end up in some small room downstairs. I mean, that’s where the press corps is staying.”

“The press corps can stay at a hostel for all I care.”

Ember smiled. “Did you insist on this?”

“But of course.” Paulina leant against the doorframe. “So I was thinking . . .”

“Do you need me to go get you something?” Jeffrey immediately asked. “Whatever it is, I can get a cab and go get it.”

“No, I don’t need anything.”

“But it’s time for dinner.”

“I’ll get something from room service.” Paulina assured. “But what I wanted to say is that since this is the first time that either of you are in London, I want you guys to have the night off.”

“What?” This time it was Ember who spoke up.

“Go out. Get something to eat. Have a few drinks.” Paulina told them. “If I could, I would, but it’s been made clear to me that wherever I go, I’ll have to take along a ridiculous amount of security. So you two go out and have some fun. London is incredible. You need to enjoy it while you’re here.”

“But I was going to –”

“Tomorrow,” Paulina cut her off. “You can do it then. Tonight, go out.”

“Are you sure about that?” Ember didn’t like the idea of their ditching the Senator. “What if you need help with something?”

“I very much doubt I’ll need help stuffing my face and watching the BBC, but thank you for the offer.”

“Alright then, we’ll go.” Ember stood up. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

“And one last thing.”

“What is it?”

“Tomás is going with you.”

“No!” Jeffrey refused to take him. “He can’t go with us. He has to take care of you. That’s why he’s here.”

“I have two Secret Service Agents looking out for me. I’m okay.”

“But they don’t know you like Tomás knows you. What if you need something?”

“I’ll ask.” Paulina was amused. “And if they can’t help me, this suite comes with an on call butler. So I’m fine. Now quit arguing and start getting ready to go out.”

Paulina didn’t give them the time to protest. She instead walked out and went over to the room Tomás would be sharing with one of the Secret Service Agents.

“Is everything okay?” he asked when she appeared in the doorway.

“Everything’s fine,” she assured him. “I just have a favor to ask.”

“Of course, Ma’am,” he stood as he awaited his instructions.

“Will you please go out with Ember and Jeffrey? I know it’s not your duty. You’re here to look after me, but I just thought that since I’m literally surrounded by Secret Service that it’d be okay for you three to go out and have some fun. Go with them to get dinner and drinks. You’ve never been to London either. You should experience it.”

“All due respect, I’m here to ensure you’re safety.”

“The American taxpayers have that under control.” She said with a smile. “Please go with them.”

“I know it’s not my place to ask, but why won’t you be going?”

“Because it would reflect badly on me if I were to be photographed out and about when I’m here on official state business,” she answered. “So can I count on you? Will you go with them?”

He nodded.

“Thank you, Tomás.”

That handled, she retreated back to her bedroom where she grabbed the room service menu and set about ordering dinner. Truth be told she was in the mood for breakfast. It was, after all, breakfast time back in Washington, but there was no full English breakfast available at that hour. Instead, she ordered a club sandwich and an ice cream sampler. She lounged about in her room until the food arrived, and she was nearly done with the sandwich when Ember announced that they would be leaving. Paulina told them to be safe and went right back to watching the Poldark reruns on the BBC.

“That’s right, you fucking cut down that grass . . .” she whispered as Poldark cleared the field.

Her eyes were glued to his shirtless frame. His defined muscles had her so entranced that she was completely oblivious to the knocking on the door. It wasn’t until Reynolds spoke up that she was snapped out of it.

“Senator Balcázar?” he called out to her. “Is everything alright in there?”

“Yes!” she replied as she muted the television.

“In that case, may I come in?”

“Go ahead.” She set aside her tray and stood up. “Have I been summoned somewhere? Does the President need me?”

“No, Ma’am.” Reynolds answered from his place near the door. “I received word from another agent that the Diplomatic Protection Group has an SO14 Protection Officer that has requested a meeting with you.”

“Who is the Diplomatic Protection Group? I thought it was just Secret Service operating here.”

“On foreign visits we coordinate with local law enforcement in order to ensure that security has been covered from every possible angle.”

“So does that mean that the SO14 Protection Officer is from them? Am I going to have one of them guard me as well?”

“No, your personal safety will be guaranteed by the Secret Service.”

“Then who is this guy?”

“The SO14 is the Royalty Protection Branch.”

Paulina knew better than to react. She didn’t need a Secret Service Agent seeing her in a panic.

“When do they want the meeting?” she asked, calmly.

“This moment if you will allow,” he answered.

“Tell them to send him up.” She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Do I have time to get dressed?”

“We can have him wait outside until you’re ready.”

“Is he already in the hallway?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Just let him in.” She said. “I’m not trying to impress anyone.”

Paulina waited until Reynolds turned around to let her eyes go wide. What the fuck were they playing at? Why had they sent a Royal Protection Officer to her hotel? He had to be screened by the Secret Service. He had to have his credentials checked. She didn’t need physical evidence that she had been in contact with them, and it was annoying, so very annoying but it was also terrifying, because someone had sent them, someone had given the order, and she hoped she was wrong about who that someone was.

Despite internally freaking out, Paulina remained composed. She calmly made her way into the sitting room, and stood tall as she waited for them to come in. She was so focused on maintaining control of her emotions that she didn’t even bother wondering about who had been sent. Was it Alistair? Kamal? Or perhaps Gethin or Sanjeev since they hadn’t actually been part of the drama? Those were the things she should’ve been thinking about, but instead she stood there, focused on her breathing, and when the door opened, it hitched at the sight of Kamal.

“Kamal!” she exclaimed.

“Madam Senator.” He replied with a slight bow of the head. “I thank you for approving my request of a private audience. I understand how impertinent it is of me to show up at such an hour unannounced.”

“It’s alright, Kamal.” She walked over to him, a bright smile on her face as she did so. “My god, it’s been ages.”

“That it has, Ma’am.”

“Enough with the Ma’am,” she said as she stopped right in front of him. “You’re not charged with protecting me anymore.”

“It will forever be my duty to protect you whenever I have the privilege of being in your company.”

The sincerity in his look was what struck her most, and not caring what the Agents thought, she took Kamal into a warm hug. There would always be a place for him in her heart. The respect she had for Kamal was immeasurable. He had openly defied Harry’s orders to detain her. He had given her a chance, it might not have worked out, but at least he had given her a shot and she loved him for that.

Taking the hug as a sign that the situation was under control and understanding that privacy was necessary, they stepped outside.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized as she pulled away. “I couldn’t help it, Kamal.”

“Rest assured the embrace was a most welcomed one.” He smiled reassuringly. “And I fully understand that I am breaking protocol by doing this, but I want you to know that I am so pleased to see you again. I truly am.”

“You’re a good man, Kamal.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean it. I owe you a great debt.”

“Don’t trouble yourself with thoughts of that.” He spoke softly. “I would hate to see you pained by such memories.”

“But you’re here because of him? Aren’t you?”

“Surprisingly enough, I am not.”

“What?”

“I am not here at His Royal Highnesses request.” He explained. “I am here on Her Majesties.”

“You’ve been promoted to the Queen?”

“That I have not, but Her Majesty believed a familiar face would be well received.”

“Then let’s have a seat.” She motioned to the couch. “Would you like something to drink? I have a mini bar that hasn’t been gotten into yet.”

“I’m quite alright, Ma’am.”

“If you’re not going to call me Paulina then can I at least get a Miss? Please don’t make me feel older than I already do.”

“You’re not old, Miss.”

She smiled as she sat down beside him. “So you’re here on Her Majesties behest?”

“Yes.” Kamal hesitated a moment before saying, “Although I am not the only one here at her behest.”

Paulina shot him a look.

“I – he told me not to say anything, but –”

“Please don’t say he’s here.” Paulina grew frantic. “He can’t be here, Kamal. He can’t!”

“His Royal Highness is not.”

“Then who is?”

“Alistair.”

“Alistair?”

Kamal nodded. “When he heard that I would be seeking an audience with you, he asked if he could accompany me.”

“Why isn’t he here?”

“Because he felt his presence would offend you.” Kamal lowered his gaze. “I know it’s not my place, Miss. And I know I only just told you that I would hate to see you pained by such memories, but Alistair – we all care for you a great deal, Miss. I only thought that perhaps some good might come from this. That you perhaps might consent to see him, I know that would mean a great deal to him.”

“The last time I saw him, I was a raging bitch.”

“Those were not the words he used to describe the situation.”

“But it’s the truth. Did he tell you how I slammed the door in his face?”

Kamal nodded.

“And how he begged me to hear him out and when I finally opened the door again, I slapped him?”

“He did not.”

“Well I did.” Her nostrils flared. “After everything he did for me, that was how I repaid him.”

“It was a difficult time then, Miss. He understood that.”

“I called him a liar and fucking backstabber.”

“He’s been called worse – by me, mostly.”

At that, she smiled. “Are you sure he doesn’t hate me?”

“It’s one of the few things I am absolutely certain of.”

“Then I’ll send for him.”

Alistair was in the lobby when Paulina sent for him. He had already been cleared by the Secret Service, everyone entering the building underwent a thorough security inspection. It was standard protocol for them, the Presidents security was of the upmost importance. And after Kamal and he cleared security, Kamal went up while he remained downstairs. Alistair didn’t humor himself by thinking that Paulina would send for him. He hadn’t handled the situation the way he should’ve. He should have gone outside to look for her on his own, he should’ve explained to her that Harry wanted to see her, wanted to talk things through, but instead he made it look as though he had gone back on his word.

That was why she’d slapped him across the face. Not that it had hurt much. Not physically, at least. She was at her weakest then. Her weight had plummeted, her cheekbones dangerously protruded and she didn’t have the energy to hurt him like she should have. It had broken his heart to see her so defeated. It had broken his heart to be called a backstabber, but regardless of that, when he heard that Kamal had been assigned a task pertaining to her, he couldn’t help but ask if he could go with him.

“Alistair Mayhew.” A Secret Service Agent spoke to him. “Come with me.”

“Might I know where it is you are escorting me?” Alistair asked.

“The Senator sent for you.” He replied. “Now hurry up.”

The Secret Service Agent led him to the elevators. There were a total of three elevators, but only two were in use of the general public. The fifth elevator went directly to the top floor and it was guarded by two men. That was the elevator that Alistair was to take all the way up, and when he approached, it was in the middle of closing.

“Do please hold the door!” Alistair called out as they approached.

The thought of having to wait for it to go all the way up and all the way back down again was unbearable to him. Luckily for him, the person inside was considerate. Ember had forgotten her phone in the room. She watched in silence as the man rushed into the elevator. She’d seen him before. During the election, the Republicans had dragged out old pictures of Paulina with Prince Harry, and sure enough, he was the man that was always lurking in the background.

“Thank you, Miss.”

“No problem.” Ember said with a smile. She waited until the doors closed before asking, “Anything I should be aware of?”

“Pardon?” replied Alistair, puzzled by why she would ask such a thing.

She looked back at him without batting an eye. It was then that he recognized her as Senator Balcázar’s Press Secretary.

“You are guard to the ginger prince.” She said without hesitation. “I hope he hasn’t sent you to leave a message for Paulina. I can’t have him compromising her like that.”

“You say that as though he’s nothing more than a distraction.”

“I want him as far from her as possible because she is my friend. Should I be concerned about him bothering her or not?” she spoke with a sharp tone.

“I am here on behalf of Her Majesty. The details I need not divulge to you.”

She pursed her lips and resisted the urge to curse.

“An invitation for tea, I’m sure.”

Alistair had to pretend her deduction skills were not impressive and simultaneously hide the fact that she was correct.

“That you do not know for certain.”

Had the Secret Service not stationed Agents throughout the stairwell, Ember would’ve gotten off the elevator and ran up, but unfortunately for that plan, they did. So she instead rode the elevator all the way up to the last floor and ran to the room. With her key in her hand, she quickly entered and bolted the door shut behind her.

“Paulina, we have a situation,” she began, utterly oblivious to the fact that Kamal was in there. “The Queen sent a bodyguard here to talk to –” Ember stopped when she saw Kamal.

“Ember, this is Kamal.” Paulina stood up. “He used to be my security detail. Well – protection officer, whenever I traveled with His Royal Highness.” It felt better to refer to Henry in those terms. Not as intimate. “Kamal, this is Ember. She’s my Press Secretary. She’s the reason I haven’t lost my mind in Washington.”

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss.”

“I’d say the same but that’d be a damn lie.” Ember said as they shook hands. “What are you doing here?”

“Ember!” shrieked Paulina.

“This isn’t a good idea, Madam Senator.” Ember hoped that using the title would knock sense back into Paulina. “He’s in here and the other one is at the door.”

“Is he why you bolted the door?”

“He is.” Ember remained composed. “And I need you to think this through.”

“Ember –”

“They need to leave.” She continued. “And we need to figure out how we’re going to spin this visit.”

“That can be done later.” Paulina moved towards the door. “We’ll tell the truth.”

“That the Queen invited you to tea?”

“I haven’t accepted.”

“You’re not going to!” Ember declared. “You accept that invitation and the minimum wage fight is over. And you know it’s true. That’s why you haven’t opened the door yet!”

“It won’t be that bad. It’s not like it’s an election year. I just won reelection last year.”

“Since when does that matter?” countered Ember. “They’ll still bring it up five years from now!”

“Well then I’ll just have to do a lot of good before then.” Paulina took in a deep breath. “Look Ember, I know you’re looking out for me. I do. And I really fucking appreciate and the thing is I haven’t said yes to the Queen yet. I just want to talk to Alistair. That’s all I want to do right now. Can I at least do that? I mean I’m already screwed on this. There are records showing that he and Kamal came up here, so even if I were to kick them out, the damage has been done. So can I at least talk to him?”

“I don’t even know why you’re asking me. You’re going to do it regardless of what I say. That’s how stubborn you are.”

Paulina smiled.

“Just do it,” said Ember.

With her approval, Paulina took in a deep breath and opened the door. She had forgotten how tall Alistair was. Had she remembered, she would’ve opened the door and looked up, but instead she came face to face with his broad chest. The crisp blue button down was the first thing she saw, and for a moment, she focused her gaze exclusively on the top button on his shirt, because she couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze.

“Senator Balcázar.” Alistair spoke after an extended silence. “If my presence offends you I will leave directly. I ought to have known better than to –”

“Don’t leave,” she whispered, finally daring to look him in the eye. “Please don’t.”

At that, Alistair smiled in relief.

“Will you please follow me?”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation.

And he followed her into the bedroom, leaving behind a very confused Ember.

“Please sit down.” She waited until he sat down beside her to truly begin. “I . . . I owe you an apology.”

“Whatever for?” he found himself asking.

“For slapping you.” She lowered her gaze in embarrassment. “I should’ve never done that. I should’ve never called you a liar or a backstabber. I should’ve known better than to think you could ever be that.”

“Miss, it’s alright.”

“It’s not.” She argued. “You were only ever kind to me. The least I could’ve done was listen to you.”

“Nonsense,” he said. “Given the circumstances, you acted appropriately.”

“Don’t make excuses for me.”

“You suffered greatly.” He hesitated a moment before reaching for her hand. It was then that she lifted her gaze. “And I am so sorry that I was unable to spare you that suffering.”

“Let’s not talk about that. I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Miss –”

“You always looked out for me.” She forcibly changed the conversation. “You were always there with words of encouragement, with a kind smile, or even just a comforting look. You’ve always been so good to me and I-I’m embarrassed by how I treated you. You deserved better than that. And I am so sorry that I was such a bitch.”

“Now see here, I won’t stand to hear you talk like that.” He said firmly. “You are not that. Not now. Not ever.”

“I am though. Believe me, I really am. I can be such a bitch sometimes that I even scare myself, and I’ve wanted to apologize to you for such a long time, because when he came to my place in Harvard and we had that talk, I knew then that you hadn’t betrayed me, but I was just so embarrassed that I couldn’t bring myself to reach out, but I’m sorry. I am so sorry for the way I treated you. You’re an honorable man, Alistair. You’ve always been one.” She looked down at their hands before rallying the courage to ask, “Do you forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive.” Alistair squeezed her hand. “And I will go to the grave arguing that, so there is no point in disagreeing with me. Not even you will change my mind.”

At that, she smiled.

“How lovely it is to see you smile again, Miss.” Alistair remarked. “I thought I’d never again bear witness to it.”

“Well you have,” she said. “And now that we’ve talked, it’s time to join the others. I’m sure Ember wants to chew me out.”

“There can be no doubt of that.”

“None at all,” she said with a laugh. “She means well though. She’s one of the few people in Washington that I actually trust.”

“High praise.”

“It’s well placed with her.” She let go of his hand. “Before we go outside though, can I ask you something?”

Alistair nodded, knowing very well what she would ask.

“How is he?” her voice came out soft, as if she were afraid of the words.

“Not well, Miss.” He stood up beside her. “Not well, at all.”

“I figured as much.” Her smile faltered. “Does he at least have one of those socialites with him?”

“What good would they do?” Alistair asked. “You and I both know there is only one person whose company would be of any use to him.”

“Alistair –” she said warningly.

“Tell me off if you feel so inclined, Miss.” Alistair continued. “But you know he needs you.”
♠ ♠ ♠
I feel like I should apologize for not having updated in so long, but lately it seems that all my authors notes have an apology in them. So instead I am going to say that it was nice to be able to write again. I truly meant to incorporate Harry into this chapter, but it just didn’t seem right. I have about a page of the next chapter written and I can say with 100% certainty and I can swear on my love of all things Austen that that gingery Prince will be in the next chapter. And if the stars align, the next chapter will be out before the end of next week.

Thanks for your lovely comments!

kim wonshik.
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