Silent Shadows

Trying to find a sleeping position in which I was close to Zinnia and not resting on my wrist was difficult and left me almost too frustrated to sleep. But when I woke up, thanks to my dream, I was frustrated in a very different way. My dream had involved Danny, a bed, and some X-rated activities. I could only hope I hadn’t made any noises in my sleep or moaned his name or something.

The cold water I splashed on my face helped, as did the feeling of the cool tile under my feet as I walked to the kitchen. When I came in, Arin was standing at the stove, scrambling some eggs.

“Aww, you’re making breakfast?” I gave him a slightly awkward hug from behind. Of course that’s when Danny decided to walk in. I avoided eye contact immediately.

“Here, your food’s done.” Arin put a plate on the table for me. I picked up the fork in my left hand and attempted to maneuver it to the eggs. It wasn’t until Zacky came in that he showed me how to hold it properly so I could actually eat. Thank God for left handed people.

“Does it hurt that badly?” Danny asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I couldn’t look at him. Not after that dream, and not after that whole “let me touch your face and whisper your name, even though I completely shattered your heart” deal.

“Then we should go get it X-rayed. I’ll go get the keys from Matt.” Danny vanished before I could say anything. I didn’t bother to get dressed properly, just threw a hoodie on over my shorts and tank top. But once we got to the clinic, I realized that was a big mistake.

“Fuck me it’s cold in here.” I grumbled. Danny went to talk to the nurse and I tried to curl myself into as tight a ball as I could. Out of nowhere, a jacket landed on my lap.

“You look cold.” A kind-looking middle aged woman smiled at me.

“Thank you.” I readjusted it so it covered more of my skin. It was a good thing I’d been wearing jeans yesterday, otherwise my legs would have looked really scratched up. I looked like shit already I didn’t need to add that to the pile.

“Are you all right honey?” I just blinked at her. “You’re all beat up and you look scared. Did someone hurt you?”

“I’m fine, thank you. I had a little hiking accident, that’s all.” I smiled and tried to look normal.

Danny, brilliant timing as always, showed up right then and sat down next to me. “The doctor’s taking a goddamn long time.” He grumbled. He seemed to notice the lady next to me for the first time. “Oh. Hello.”

“Are you her boyfriend?” She asked suspiciously.

We both spoke at the same time. “No.”

“Ronnie Bellamy?” The nurse called.

“Thank you.” I said, handing the jacket back to her. “I have faith in humanity again.” I murmured to Danny as we walked away.

According to the doctor, my wrist was only sprained and he gave me a brace for it that would be better than the bandage I had now. It still cost us an arm and a leg and took way more time than I would have wanted to spend.

We passed the grocery store on the way back to the road that would take us back up the mountain. Out front was a big display of mangos and I pressed my face against the glass. “Oh damn. Mangos.” I nearly moaned. Without saying anything Danny turned the car into the parking lot and headed off towards the display.

“I’ll show you how to pick a good one.” He picked up one and squeezed it. “They should be firm and you should be able to smell the fruit inside.” He held one up to my face and I inhaled deeply. “I’m Costa Rican, so we know how to pick this stuff.”

“Damn I’ve missed mangos.” I smiled. He stuck two in one of those little fruit bags and we went inside to pay for them. There was a tea display right next to the cashier and I looked through it.

“There’s never any good English tea in America.” I muttered. “Damn Yanks.”

“Did you seriously just say Yanks? What are you, British?” Danny laughed.

“Actually, yes. I was born in London. I lived there until I was five.” I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to look threatening. My dad was English, but my mom was American and she’d hated the cold. When I was five she finally talked him into moving back to California.

“I always did like English accents.” When he said things like that, I had to wonder what his motives were. We stepped back outside and he stiffened up, shoving me behind him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, peeking over his shoulder.

“Do you remember what that guy who chased you all over the damn mountain smelled like?” He said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah.”

“Smell the air.” I took a good whiff and realized what was wrong. Two werewolves, both male and in human form, were strolling through the parking lot towards us.

“Ronnie, I want you to get in the car and wait for me.” Danny pressed the keys into my hand. “Go through the other door.”

I didn’t even have time to argue with him because the wolves were in front of us already. There was no way for me to leave without them seeing me.

“Hey there Danny boy.” The one who’d spoken was tall and blonde. You could tell he thought he was god’s gift to women in the way he walked. The other one was short and stocky with brown hair.

“Marcus.” Danny nodded coldly.

“Nice to see you not holed up like a cowardly rabbit.” Short and stocky guy said. You could tell Danny’s macho side was struggling to take over.

“And who’s the little bitch?” Marcus bent and sniffed at my hair. I bared my teeth at him.
“Feisty little thing isn’t she?”

“Back off Marcus.” The threat in Danny’s voice didn’t even attempt to be veiled.

“You’re gonna be my favorite.” Marcus whispered. “Damian, isn’t this the bitch John found on our territory?”

“Smells like it.” Then he said something really quite crude about me that I won’t repeat. Next thing I knew, Danny’s fist was in Damian’s face.

“Danny, don’t!” I wrapped my arms around him from behind and held on tight. “Stop. They want an excuse to fight you.” Danny glanced down at me, teeth bared. It took a long moment for him to relax and move away from them with me.

“That’s right, run you coward!” Marcus yelled after us. I shoved Danny to keep him from turning around.

“Now I know who to beat the shit out of.” Danny growled, jamming the key in the ignition. “For chasing you up and down the goddamned mountain.”

“Danny, calm down.” I put my hand over his. “Let’s just be glad the guy must have had too many doughnuts at breakfast and couldn’t run as fast.”

“He hurt you.”
“I’m okay. Now let’s go home.” I patted his hand before pulling it back.

Why does he send such goddamned mixed signals?

When we got back to the house, Danny went to tell Matt what happened and I headed to my room to screw my head back on right. But when I opened the door, Zinnia was spread across our bed.

“Oh good. You’re home. I wanted to talk to you.” Zinnia said, sitting up.

“Oh boy.” I closed the door behind me. Conversations that started that way never turned out well in this house.

She frowned. “Why does everyone look so unhappy when I want to talk to them?”

“Because you always have this scary serious look on your face like the person is in trouble.”

“If you spent one hour in the Fae court you would understand but that's not what I wanted to discuss with you. I wanted to talk about Daniel.”

I sighed. “Zin, I've told you this before. Nothing inappropriate has happened, except by your standards.”

She waved me off. “Yes, yes and I believe you. But it could and I worry about you young wolf. I have grown fond of you.” She smiled affectionately.

“I'm pretty fond of you too Zin. So, was that all you wanted to talk about?” I started to get up. Escaping was the only thing on my mind.

She put her hand over mine. “No, I have something much more delicate and important to discuss with you. Please sit.”

“This does not sound like a fun discussion.” I sat back down.

“Considering it deals with you and Daniel, I doubt you would find it fun.”

“Zin, come on. There's nothing going on, and there never will be.” Deny, deny, deny. My favorite strategy.

“There young wolf you are already wrong. There is much that shall happen.”

I blinked at her. “I'm sorry, what?”

She moved to sit directly in front of me. “He cares for you much more then a friend or family would, even if he doesn't show it.”

“Yeah. Right.” I snorted.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Fae do not lie, talk circles around it at times, yes, but lie, never. He loves you even if he has yet to realize it himself.”

“He's got a great way of showing it.” I muttered. I couldn’t help the bitterness in my voice.

“Daniel is a good man and strong wolf. I have no doubt he could be an alpha if he so chose but he would rather heal the wounded. He is trying to do what is right and I commend him for it.” She looked proud of him.

“Your point being?” I sighed.

“You should try to help him. I know it is not easy being a pre-shift werewolf, a female at that, but you need to wait before becoming sexually active with him.”

My jaw dropped. “How did we jump from the dude doesn't even like me to fucking him?!” My voice raised an octave.

“Tell me that is not the very thing you would like to do and I shall leave you be.” Damn she knows me too well.

I flushed bright red. “That's not the point Zin. The point is that he doesn't want that.”

“What did I just tell you?” She sighed.

“That you'd leave me alone if I denied being horny?"

“No. That Daniel loves you and part of being in love is wanting to express it physically.”

“He doesn't love me Zin.” My eyes burned. “He doesn't.”

“I do not lie, but if you do not believe me take my hand and see what I have seen and know what I know.” She held her hand out for me, palm up. I took it reluctantly.

She closed her eyes and played back what she had seen. The stolen glances, the protective positioning, watching me as I slept, the way he held me gently when I was asleep, the rage at my injury, the need for vengeance, the wolf inside demanding it-

I dropped her hand. “I swear you love to torture me.”

She frowned. “I respect you Ronnie. The rest of the pack may see you as a child, but I see the woman you are becoming. Please don't prove me wrong. You must see the mature decision is to wait until you are fully ready to become Daniel's mate before you become intimate.”

“There's the fucking problem! He thinks I'm a goddamn eight year old! He acts more like my fucking brother than someone who loves me.” I raked my hand through my hair.

“I have shown you that is not true. Why do you continue to argue with me on that point?” I think I was starting to frustrate her.

“Because I know what I see everyday when he looks at me. He looks at me like I'm his little sister.”

“He is trying to do what is right and censors himself around you. You see what you want to see even when I have shown you the truth.”

I flopped down on the bed. “Zin, just drop it will you?”

“As you wish.” She shrugged.

I started to giggle. “You sound like The Princess Bride.”

She cocked her head to the side not fully understanding. “Well that is what I am so it makes sense.”

I lifted my head. “Excuse me?”

“What don't you understand?”

“Uhh, the "that's what I am" in reference to the Princess Bride?”

Her brow furrowed. “You don't know I’m royalty?”

“No, I was not aware of that.”

She smiled. “Oh well I am. It's the only reason I’m allowed to spend so much time in this realm. My father grants me some liberties others are not allowed.”

“I swear, I am the fucking mushroom around here.”

She frowned. “I do not understand your reference.”

“They keep me in the dark and feed me shit.” I grumbled.

“No one has lied to you about me. I don't pull the princess card so I believe they forget. I know Jimmy does not see me in that light.” She couldn’t fight back a smile.

“I hope you two use a condom. God knows we don't need another Jimmy around here.”

She blinked. “I have not been physical with Jimmy.”

“How long have you been together?”

“A few moons shy of a year.”

“Jesus, poor guy must be about to explode.” I knew I would be.

“I am not allowed to be with a male.”

“Why?”

She looked so incredibly sad my heart almost broke. “I am already promised to another, I have been since before my birth.”

“Well that sucks.”

“I have a duty to my people. I am not allowed the luxury of love. But if I was...” She looked down at her hands for a second before looking back up with a small sad smile.
“Jimmy will make an excellent mate for some lucky female one day.”

I squeezed her hand. “I don't think he wants anyone but you.”

She squeezed back. “We've had this very argument several times. But I can not live in his world nor he in mine.”

“This fucking sucks!” I couldn’t help myself. How could she be denied something so simple as love?

“There is a very important lesson to be learned here. You can either waste your time focusing on what is wrong or unfair or you can enjoy every precious second you've been given and commit them to memory to warm your heart long after they've passed.”

“Again. This sucks.” She must have the patience of a saint.

“You say sucks and I thank the Goddess she has blessed me with whatever time I have with him.”

“I hope you can believe that. I'm gonna go shower.” I needed the thinking time. I grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom. The hot water felt amazing over my sore muscles and I nearly moaned from the feeling. I scrubbed myself down, thinking about what Zinnia had shown me. I knew she wouldn’t lie to me, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be misreading the situation. There was no way Danny felt that way about me.

When I finally felt like getting out, I had a little trouble getting dressed. I got my jeans on fine, but I couldn’t hook my bra in the back. I needed both hands to do it and my wrist ached like a bitch when I bent it. The door opened suddenly and I jumped a foot in the air.

“Jesus fucking Christ, knock first dammit!” I swore, turning to see who it was. Of course it was Danny.

“Shit, sorry.” He covered his eyes.

“Since you’re here, gimme a hand with this.” I turned so he could do the hooks up.
Once he was done he traced my bird tattoos with one rough finger and I shivered under his touch.

He turned me to face him slowly. My knees went to jelly from the heat in his eyes. Could Zinnia be right? She certainly seemed right at this moment and oh my god he’s going to kiss me. His lips closed on mine and every other thought flew out of my head. It started out slow and sweet, but once my hormones kicked in it started getting hot. He lifted me onto the counter and I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him in as close as I could. His fingers knotted in my damp hair. Every inch of me felt like it was on fire. I felt like I was gonna pass out from lack of oxygen, so I pulled away reluctantly.

“I’m sorry.” Were the first words out of his mouth.

“For what?” I almost laughed.

“For jumping on you like that. I shouldn’t have.” He stepped away from me and I almost reached for him to pull him back.

“Danny, do you think if I hadn’t wanted that to happen I wouldn’t have let you know?” I hopped off the counter and hooked my fingers in his belt loops. “So you wanna tell me how we went from friends to that in ten seconds flat?”

“I lost my self-control. Those damn tattoos of yours.”

“Now I know how to turn you on.” I grinned.

“You were doing that in your sleep Ronnie.” He laughed. “We have to be careful.” Especially since Zinnia already knew, but I didn’t tell him that. “I should leave before someone sees me. They’re not gonna like you not having your shift yet.” He gave me one last, terribly brief kiss before vanishing out the door. I got dressed calmly and headed out, pretending I hadn’t just made out with someone on the bathroom counter. As long as I could hold my shit together, everything would be fine.